Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > The Academy > Tilted Sexuality


View Poll Results: Being Homosexual is . . . .
a choice 45 19.74%
not a choice 183 80.26%
Voters: 228. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 06-05-2006, 08:00 PM   #41 (permalink)
Knight of the Old Republic
 
Lasereth's Avatar
 
Location: Winston-Salem, NC
I can't believe it's even a question. Nobody chooses to live a life surrounded by ignorant shitheads making fun of you. Gay people are born gay, even if the feelings do not develop until later. I'm a heterosexual and have no lust for men. If you are attracted to the same sex, it's not a damned choice, it's something in your genetics that made it happen, much like heterosexual people like the opposite sex by default. The notion that gay people choose to be gay is absolutely absurd and close minded.

I personally think that homosexuals are the human race's attempt at population control on our overcrowded planet. I believe in evolution, and the human race evolving into a fraction of non-reproducing homosexuals is a blatant attempt at controlling the population of the earth over a long period of time. It makes perfect sense...too many people on the earth, so our race evolves to control it.
__________________
"A Darwinian attacks his theory, seeking to find flaws. An ID believer defends his theory, seeking to conceal flaws." -Roger Ebert
Lasereth is offline  
Old 06-06-2006, 12:16 AM   #42 (permalink)
nmm
Tilted
 
Didn't vote cos frankly I am not sure and I think it can be both, I think it is more a per case than a generality... People personalities are so different that there is no way it is a choice or not for every gay person...
__________________
Nihilistic Mad Man... Gallic Hedonist... Freak of Nature...
nmm is offline  
Old 06-06-2006, 01:35 AM   #43 (permalink)
Young Crumudgeon
 
Martian's Avatar
 
Location: Canada
I don't know what causes someone to 'turn gay,' as the saying goes. Frankly, I've never put much effort into researching the root issues here and my first suspicion is that there is no one cause for every individual. Some folks might have a genetic predisposition or something, it could be environmental or caused by trauma, it could be some other unknown environmental or biological factor. What seems most probable to me is that it's all of the above, but I've never really felt the need to look into it.

I do know that I didn't choose to be heterosexual. I like girls. I like their shapes, their mannerisms, their voices. I happen to be a male. A female who shares my appreciation or a male who doesn't isn't really that big a deal. I'm fairly certain that no healthy individual would choose that path for themself; as has been pointed out, it's one fraught with doubt and discrimination.

Certainly one can choose to engage in acts of homosexuality without being homosexual, or vice versa. I know that I've heard of such things happening in the past. I have no interest in it; if you do, knock yourself out. But can one choose one's overall preference? I don't know, but somehow I doubt it.

My thinking is that the idea of homosexuality as a choice relates back to the perceived wrongness of it. One might presume that a homosexual individual is going against the natural order of things; if one were to further presuppose that each individual is normally inclined to follow said natural order, then one would assume that a person must make the conscious decision to defy it. This is flawed, of course, in that it assumes that nature is bound by our perceptions of the rules. No evidence of any such thing exists; indeed, it seems the opposite is true. We're bound by the rules of nature and we expend a great deal of time and energy in the attempt of discerning just what those rules are. Should something come along that doesn't fit our understanding, it seems to be the better option to assume that our understanding is wrong and modify it accordingly, rather than assume the rules themselves are wrong.

Of course, if someone is choosing to be gay said someone can choose not to be gay anymore, which would doubtless be a comfort to those in the conflicted position of believing homosexuality to be wrong but finding out a loved one is batting for the other team.
__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame
Martian is offline  
Old 06-06-2006, 05:31 AM   #44 (permalink)
Insane
 
fightnight's Avatar
 
Location: The lovely Northeast
Quote:
Originally Posted by SecretMethod70
This is correct. It is much less common for a male to be honsetly bisexual than a female. Don't remember if I've ever seen anything suggest why this may be the case.
I'm curious if this isn't just because of the societal view of male homosexuality vs. female homosexuality. If you're on the spectrum (not at the extremes), that means you could be happy either way, and if society is more OK with females experimenting bisexually than with men experimenting bisexually, then wouldn't it make sense to see more of the women actually acting on their urges, as opposed to the men who would be less likely to do so, seeing as they still have a viable option in women and society would look down on them much more? I think this explains difference between the female and male spectrum (although i'm sure it's flawed in some way, and someone will point it out, I just can't see it right now).

As far as the question goes, I like Will's answer, I definitely think it's not a choice... I just don't know why it's not a choice. Biological? Environmental? Psychological? Who knows.
fightnight is offline  
Old 06-06-2006, 09:17 AM   #45 (permalink)
 
Sticky's Avatar
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by xepherys
Sticky- I may not choose who I think is attractive, but I don't think it's part of my genetic makeup... that's the point I'm trying to get across. Like MEAD says, if you can show me the genome that makes a man like men or like women, or a woman like a woman or a man, or makes a guy think about boning a sheep or makes a girl want a threesome or a gang bang, I'm going to call bullshit on "born that way". Sometimes choices are made without THINKING about them. You do it all the time, every day.
I was trying to point out that an attraction to a certain look is different than sexual preference.

Even though you are attracted to asian and redhead women you may still sleep with a woman who is not asian or redhead.
Correct?
The answer is proabably yes but only you really know the answer.

But would you sleep with a guy?
The answer is probably no.


So what is the difference between those two.
I was trying to point out that your attraction to asian ans redhead women while learnt or developed over time is not really the same thing as your heterosexuality.
__________________
Sticky The Stickman
Sticky is offline  
Old 06-06-2006, 10:32 AM   #46 (permalink)
Junkie
 
sapiens's Avatar
 
Location: Some place windy
Quote:
Originally Posted by fightnight
I'm curious if this isn't just because of the societal view of male homosexuality vs. female homosexuality. If you're on the spectrum (not at the extremes), that means you could be happy either way, and if society is more OK with females experimenting bisexually than with men experimenting bisexually, then wouldn't it make sense to see more of the women actually acting on their urges, as opposed to the men who would be less likely to do so, seeing as they still have a viable option in women and society would look down on them much more? I think this explains difference between the female and male spectrum (although i'm sure it's flawed in some way, and someone will point it out, I just can't see it right now).
Researchers have used more than self-reported sexual preference to demonstrate this difference in distribution of sexual preference. Sexual arousal studies using physiological measures have supported the sex difference as well. I doubt that others opinions of male bisexuality would affect the physiological sexual arousal of males.

Quote:
As far as the question goes, I like Will's answer, I definitely think it's not a choice... I just don't know why it's not a choice. Biological? Environmental? Psychological? Who knows.
This isn't particular to your post, but how is psychological not biological? Choice versus no choice is not psychological versus biological. Both choice and no choice must be biological (unless we are reverting to Cartesian dualism).

How is environmental not biological? I suppose that environment might be considered separate from biology in the sense of heritability- Differences between people in their sexual preference could be due to something other than differences in their genes. But even in that case, I would expect environmental causes to be grounded in biology - an environmental influence would have to cause a biological change in the organism during development in order to affect sexual preference.

That makes me wonder about what kind of environmental information could change sexual preference during development.


Edit: If sexual preference was so malleable, if a person could simply decide to be sexually attracted to men, I don't think that the human race would have lasted as long as it has.

[Kidding]Men, homosexual or heterosexual, tend to have lower standards in mates, tend to require less time before having sexual intercourse with a mate, tend to require less commitment before sex, and tend to have a greater preference for short-term mating. If we could so easily change are sexual preference, all men would become homosexual just for the easier sexual access.[/kidding]

Last edited by sapiens; 06-06-2006 at 10:38 AM..
sapiens is offline  
Old 06-06-2006, 11:46 AM   #47 (permalink)
Banned
 
Of course it's a choice, a gay friend of mine was telling me exactly that the other day:

"I want to live the rest of my life being looked down upon by ignorant people. I want to go through every day knowing that I may encounter violence just for being me. I want people's lack of understanding to grow into fear. I'd like to be ridiculed, hated, and taught through hurtful words and actions that different is not ok. Most of all, I want people to tell me that I'm not a worthwhile human being."

Of course it's not a choice. I have no idea where anyone ever got the idea that it would be.

Last edited by analog; 06-06-2006 at 11:53 AM..
analog is offline  
Old 06-06-2006, 11:50 AM   #48 (permalink)
Insane
 
fightnight's Avatar
 
Location: The lovely Northeast
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapiens
Researchers have used more than self-reported sexual preference to demonstrate this difference in distribution of sexual preference. Sexual arousal studies using physiological measures have supported the sex difference as well. I doubt that others opinions of male bisexuality would affect the physiological sexual arousal of males.
What I was getting at was that a male who was bisexual might not decide to act on their arousal toward another male due to societal factors, thus making it seem as though there is more of a spectrum with women than with men. However if we were talking about research on what men actually feel, as opposed to what we actually see happening in society, my point would be moot.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sapiens
This isn't particular to your post, but how is psychological not biological? Choice versus no choice is not psychological versus biological. Both choice and no choice must be biological (unless we are reverting to Cartesian dualism).

How is environmental not biological? I suppose that environment might be considered separate from biology in the sense of heritability- Differences between people in their sexual preference could be due to something other than differences in their genes. But even in that case, I would expect environmental causes to be grounded in biology - an environmental influence would have to cause a biological change in the organism during development in order to affect sexual preference.

That makes me wonder about what kind of environmental information could change sexual preference during development.
I think for the purpose of this thread, when people say "biological", they mean "inherited", or at least that's what I meant. The difference between "biological" and "environmental" would relate to something after birth, some stimulus from life experience, causing one to psychologically prefer a sexual orientation other than heterosexuality. Either way we're ultimately on the same side of the original question, in that homosexuality is not a choice a person makes, whether it be stemming from something inherited or something that happened after birth.
fightnight is offline  
Old 06-06-2006, 12:19 PM   #49 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: Seattle
Well then the "cure" is simple, when infants... boys should be breast fed, girls should be given formula.

That will solve it right there!
Topper is offline  
Old 06-06-2006, 12:23 PM   #50 (permalink)
Junkie
 
sapiens's Avatar
 
Location: Some place windy
Quote:
Originally Posted by fightnight
What I was getting at was that a male who was bisexual might not decide to act on their arousal toward another male due to societal factors, thus making it seem as though there is more of a spectrum with women than with men. However if we were talking about research on what men actually feel, as opposed to what we actually see happening in society, my point would be moot.
Right. I suppose that I'm talking about sexual arousal, and you're talking about who people actually choose to have sex with. When I spoke of male sexual preference being dichotomous and female sexual preference being more of a spectrum I was suggesting that men tend to display a dichotomous distribution of arousal (either they're attracted to men or their attracted to women), while women tend to be more of a spectrum of arousal. Some of the research demonstrating this uses equipment that presumably measures arousal directly (fMRIs, vaginal plethysmographs, etc.). So, the sprectrum/dichotomy difference is there independent of societal factors.

Quote:
I think for the purpose of this thread, when people say "biological", they mean "inherited", or at least that's what I meant. The difference between "biological" and "environmental" would relate to something after birth, some stimulus from life experience, causing one to psychologically prefer a sexual orientation other than heterosexuality.
I agree, though I wouldn't consider psychological to be separate from biological.

Also, there are a lot of different categories of possible environmental causes of homosexuality:
-in utero trauma
-some other abnormality of the gestational environment
-a normal response to an environmental cue within the gestational environment caused by the mother herself
-environmental trauma after birth (during development)
-A normal response to environmental cues after birth
-A combination of the above
-A combination of the above with a genetically caused tendency toward homosexuality.
sapiens is offline  
Old 06-07-2006, 07:46 AM   #51 (permalink)
Upright
 
I was raised by 2 men, and with the both of them it was... just that way ever since they were small. For me I played around making sure I knew what I wanted seeing if I was like my father, and nothing get's me more then the scent of a woman. Had it been genitic I think it would have been a different story, but I do belive that some people got it and some don't.
Spaz007 is offline  
Old 06-08-2006, 06:22 AM   #52 (permalink)
Mistress of Mayhem
 
Lady Sage's Avatar
 
Location: Canton, Ohio
You are who you are and your true friends will still be there for you no matter what. I believe that some people are born homosexual and some choose the lifestyle later in life. It matters not to me what gender someone prefers to be intimate with. What matters is the kind of person they are and how they treat their loved ones.
Lady Sage is offline  
Old 06-16-2006, 08:47 AM   #53 (permalink)
Psycho: By Choice
 
dd3953's Avatar
 
Location: dd.land
Quote:
Originally Posted by SecretMethod70
Well, as I'm sure others will point out, sexuality is more like a spectrum as opposed to hard-line categories such as "homosexual," "bisexual," and "heterosexual." I don't think those college students are "choosing" to be capable of being bisexual, they're just much more on the heterosexual end of the spectrum than other bisexuals.


One thing I would like us all to remember is that: Being gay is not about sex. You can fuck anyone and it mean nothing.
Being gay is about who you fall in love with, who you connect with, and who you desire to be around, it is about love.

I understand that some people really are Bi while others (like the GUGs) are just having sex with anyone who will give it to them. My friends and I have began to call them "greedy."

So, while the people you are attracted to (and what to have sex with) may fall into a wide spectrum; I think that the people you can fall in love with falls into a spectrum that is a little more narrow.

Or maybe it is just my thinking that is narrow.

So this is going to be a pretty long post. I have just finished reading all the replies up to my last one, and here is my two cent.

Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by jmad
I think I saw something in the news about male and female pheremones, and that homosexuals have more receptors for the pheremones of the same sex. So, I'm a strong believer that it's not a choice; rather, it's a biological trait.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSelfDestruct
This is 100% true, every study I've found that's tested it has proven that people who claim to have known they were gay from a young age respond to pheromones of the same sex rather than the opposite sex. I know it won't convince anyone who is sure that it's unnatural and unholy, but it's good enough for me to say I'm positive it's biological.
Has anyone ever seen the movie "But I'm a Cheerleader"??? That is what comes to mind. I just found out that homosexuality was not taken out of the APA's book of illness until 1994. How many people are out there, you think, that still thinks that gayness is a sickness that one can be cured of? And if you know someone who can do the curing, send me their info, I would love to meet them.
On that note, if there really was a person who could make gay people straight, then and only then would I say that ganyness is a choice. Becuase there would be an option there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by WhiteKoopa
I think your sexual orientation comes neither by choice, biological traits or effects from the environment. It is most probably caused by the interaction of all 3, which is why it makes it impossible to find THE cause of sexual orientation.
Well said.

now, xepherys, your state your points very well. but I have a question for you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by xepherys
So, onto homosexuality. A girl may not sit down in her teen years and think, "I want to be a lesbian", but when she's staring at someone across the classroom, she might notice a girls budding breasts more than a guys growing muscles. I think it's a lot psychological, a lot how you grow up. The argument is often one of "but you don't CHOOSE who to be attracted to". Well, I agree to an extent... but I don't think you're BORN with a set attraction either. I have a penchant for asian girls and redheads. Do you think I was "born" that way? Do I have some encoded gene for "think redheads are hot"?
When did you chose to be attracted to redheads? No, I don't think it was a choice that you made, and I do not think that you have some encoded gene either. And that is my point. You did not make the choice, but at some point in time you realized that you liked redheads more than you liked blonded. I didn't make the choice, either, but at some point I realized that I like women, in everyway, more than I liked men. I am the only out lesbian in my family, so I don't think there is a gene.

We make the choice to say, "I am going to be out" or "I will not be out." But I agree with Miss Badu when she sang "emotions don't lie."

You also said that
Quote:
Originally Posted by xepherys
Personally I believe there is always choice
my question to you is quite simple: What do you think the choices are?

Daniel stated, "There are a number of people who believe that if you are born gay, it is God testing you. Their thory seems to be that God doesn't like homosexuality, so he makes some people gay so that they have the chance to prove their strength by abstaining."

Well, 1 Cor 13 states that God is love. Before that in one of the gospels, Jesus states that man really only need to follow two commands: 1) Love the Lord your God with all your mind, strenght, soul, and understanding. 2) Love your nieghbor as you love yourself.

Nowhere, that I have found, does it say that some kind of love is wrong and some is right. If God is love why would He look down on any type of love? Ask your friend this. Let me know what they say.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sapiens
Regarding the larger question of choice: It doesn't matter to me one way or another. If I were forced to choose, I would say no choice.
If you don't care one way or another why make a choice at all?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MEAD
Until you can prove to me that it is biological, which means cold hard science, I'm going to say that it is choice, however deeply influenced and seemingly instinctive it is. You are not going to win me over with personal accounts and second-hand stories when you are trying to prove to me what is science. But what is annoying me in this tread is that people are assuming that if your vote for choice that you are against homosexuality. That simply isnt true. Futhermore, it seems as if your support of homosexuality is based on your belief that it is biological. If it turend out that it wasnt would you suddenly be against it? You all are dragging emotion into this which confuses the arugement. Biology vs choice, has nothing to do with right vs wrong.
Thank you Mead, but let me say that your vote does not mean that you are agaisnt homosexuality, it just means that you think it is a choice.

I am however wondering why you think it is science. Do you have cold hard proof that it is a choice? If so, I would love to read it. As we know, there is an execption to every rule.

And, so that everyone else here knows, I am not asking if you think it is right or wrong. Honestly, I care less if you think I will burn in hell or not, I just wanna know if you think I am chosing to burn in hell.

Mead, what other options do you think should be given? I did, however, set the opition limits so that people would discuss the topic, but if you think there should be more options, what should they be?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlatan
I won't answer this poll on the grounds that it attempts to simplify a question for which we truly don't have an answer.

While I suspect that it is not a choice I would say that as socialized and self-aware creatures, it isn't that simple. There is more at play here than choice or not.
And my point was to get people to talk about those things at play.

Which I would like to thank you all for doing.
__________________
[Technically, I'm not possible, I'm made of exceptions. ]

Last edited by dd3953; 06-16-2006 at 10:10 AM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
dd3953 is offline  
Old 07-13-2006, 07:15 PM   #54 (permalink)
Insane
 
captobvious's Avatar
 
Location: Somewhere
I would say that it's not a choice. I think the choice comes in accepting who you are, and that depends on a lot of other factors like the environment you were raised in.
captobvious is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 05:39 AM   #55 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Under the Radar
I can only speak from my perspective experience being a heterosexual male, but I think homosexuality is biological. When I reached puberty, all I could think about were gils, girls, and more girls. It wasn't a choice. I wasn't feeling pressured by society to think this way. It's just they way it was. I would imagine that having homosexual thoughts and feelings happen naturally, too.

Last edited by Average_Joe; 07-14-2006 at 05:39 AM.. Reason: Can't spell for crap.
Average_Joe is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 07:31 AM   #56 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: ok
What an extremely emotionally charged poll/question...no matter your answer at least some will disagree with you...some so vehemently it may be considered outrage...

I'm going to take a swing at it...I like some/most men am basically hetero but have entertained at least a curiosity about M2M sexuality. (though most men won't admit that) I've had numerous friends in the gay/lesbian community so I feel familiar with the subject as well. A fairly high percentage of the gay males and females I know are certain in their conviction about gender attraction and either have been all of their lives or have more recently identified that attraction. (for lack of a better word) I have no problem believing that is a genetic signal rather than choice. There are those I've met that have made a conscious choice about gender affiliation that I know as well...some because of traumatic events in their lives such as sexual abuse, others yet due to the symptoms of affective or emotion disorders resulting in low self esteem or debilitating insecurity. There are still others that consider themselves bisexual and because of that determination are shunned by both the gay community as well as the hetero community...it seems more an asexual choice but undeniably these people are attracted to the same sex as well.

In a nutshell I'd have to vote say (JMHO) that both elements of the poll are true to some degree...

I'd like to add a note to those using religion as a sword in their attack on sexuality as a whole...other than adultery, sexuality only became an issue in the last 300 years and only in Judaeo/Christianity...
__________________
Fear not living...fear instead never having lived!

Last edited by swmnkdinthervr; 07-14-2006 at 07:38 AM..
swmnkdinthervr is offline  
Old 07-15-2006, 06:44 AM   #57 (permalink)
change is hard.
 
thespian86's Avatar
 
Location: the green room.
Quote:
Originally Posted by maleficent
Homosexuality isn't a choice... I doubt many people would make the choice to do or to be something that causes them such inner turmoil and could potentially damage existing relationships that they do have.

With bisexuality, i think in some cases it is a choice, I read an article recently that described some college age females as being GUGs (Gay until Graduation) that they've gone the bisexual route to be "alternative" and it was a choice for them... I think that's true in some cases...
for the sake of arguing? Don't people make choices everyday, even large choices, that put themselves in obvious uncomfortable places that cause anxiety and innerturmoil? And also, why would homosexuality and attraction to the same sex be any different if you are attracted to both? I know some people experiment but I will never do things more then once if I don't find an advantage in it.

that said I believe men and women are born gay. But not because of how hard the choice would be, simply because the choice could never be made. I like what I like and I never choose my preferences. They are simply who I am.
__________________
EX: Whats new?
ME: I officially love coffee more then you now.
EX: uh...
ME: So, not much.
thespian86 is offline  
Old 07-15-2006, 02:48 PM   #58 (permalink)
kel
WARNING: FLAMMABLE
 
Location: Ask Acetylene
Nope, had the same issue with religion. Knew I didn't believe in god for years.
__________________
"It better be funny"
kel is offline  
Old 08-26-2006, 10:07 PM   #59 (permalink)
Psycho: By Choice
 
dd3953's Avatar
 
Location: dd.land
Quote:
Originally Posted by punkmusicfan21
that said I believe men and women are born gay. But not because of how hard the choice would be, simply because the choice could never be made. I like what I like and I never choose my preferences. They are simply who I am.
nicely put
__________________
[Technically, I'm not possible, I'm made of exceptions. ]
dd3953 is offline  
Old 08-29-2006, 04:33 AM   #60 (permalink)
Addict
 
Deltona Couple's Avatar
 
Location: Spring, Texas
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaliLivChick
.....I haven't had the opportunity to go fully "all the way" with another woman, and have it reciprocated....
Hmm...that might change...lmao
__________________
"It is not that I have failed, but that I have found 10,000 ways that it DOESN'T work!" --Thomas Edison
Deltona Couple is offline  
Old 08-29-2006, 10:57 AM   #61 (permalink)
Insane
 
Sugarmouse's Avatar
 
Location: Preston lancs(i know i know)
I dont think its a choice at all.sexual urge is a very primitive instinct based thing..
__________________
Sugarmouse=Festered
Sugarmouse is offline  
Old 08-29-2006, 12:01 PM   #62 (permalink)
Pissing in the cornflakes
 
Ustwo's Avatar
 
Watching family guy reruns the other day, we saw the episode where Meg is invited to join the schools lesbian club and doesn't say shes straight because its a way to have friends. Two lines amused me when she confessed she was straight to the girl who invited her to join.

"You mean all those rounds of golf were lies?'

and

Meg: "I didn't think being gay was a choice?"
Girl: "Well for guys its not."

I think for male homosexuals there is no choice involved. Even if its more accepted its still a difficult thing for most people to tell their parents at best, and few people want to be that different or risk some of the reactions people have.

For females I think its something of another story. For some I think its the same as the men, there is no doubt, they are homosexual. For a lot of others though they seem to bounce around with it. I know two women who were in lesbian relationships and are now married to men. You won't find that nearly as often with men. Also currently female bisexuality is very accepted in many circles and even encouraged, to the point some straight females will be what I call 'socially bi' willing to do the flirting and kissing in public.

So while for some homosexuality is not a choice, for others it is.
__________________
Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.
Ustwo is offline  
Old 08-29-2006, 06:10 PM   #63 (permalink)
Banned
 
nothing to say

Last edited by pocon1; 07-06-2008 at 10:55 AM..
pocon1 is offline  
Old 08-29-2006, 06:25 PM   #64 (permalink)
Mistress of Mayhem
 
Lady Sage's Avatar
 
Location: Canton, Ohio
I feel there should be a third option to the poll.

I know people who have chosen to be homosexual because of preference.

I know people who have shown homoxesual traits from early childhood and therefore were in my humble opinion born homosexual.

Homosexual, straight or whatever, I will lose no sleep tonight over anyones sexual preferences. I respect people for being people but who they choose to have intimate incounters with.
Lady Sage is offline  
Old 08-29-2006, 06:47 PM   #65 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Corvallis, OR.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MEAD
Without soild and conclusive facts to prove that being gay/bi/les is a biological trait, I'm going to have to say that at some point in their lives a person chooses to be gay/bi/les.
Doesn't make a whole lot of sense in my mind.

Besides, lots of animals have been known to be gay...there are gay fruit flies that have been positively linked to a certain genetic trait.

That said, I think the OP answered her own question. She has had these feelings since she can remember haveing sexual feelings and they won't just "go away."

I think it's certainly possible for someone to choose to have sex with someone of the same sex, but not for them to feel sexually attracted only to that sex.
__________________
This is no sig.
Arsenic7 is offline  
Old 08-29-2006, 08:08 PM   #66 (permalink)
Soylent Green is people.
 
longbough's Avatar
 
Location: Northern California
The only ones qualified to answer this question are the practicing homosexuals and bisexual folks out there.
Why do only self-proclaimed heterosexuals (like myself) feel that the truth will arise from debate and speculation? Just ask your gay friends and you'll get more insight.

Last edited by longbough; 08-29-2006 at 08:17 PM..
longbough is offline  
Old 08-30-2006, 01:39 AM   #67 (permalink)
Junkie
 
hannukah harry's Avatar
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by longbough
The only ones qualified to answer this question are the practicing homosexuals and bisexual folks out there.
Why do only self-proclaimed heterosexuals (like myself) feel that the truth will arise from debate and speculation? Just ask your gay friends and you'll get more insight.
well, if i chose to be straight, how is that any different than someone choosing to be homosexual? same thing goes with if it was natural and no choice.

just because someone is gay doesn't mean that they should have arrived at their sexuality any differently than someone who's straight. we should be able to extrapolate based on our experience.
__________________
shabbat shalom, mother fucker! - the hebrew hammer
hannukah harry is offline  
Old 08-30-2006, 04:25 AM   #68 (permalink)
Soylent Green is people.
 
longbough's Avatar
 
Location: Northern California
Quote:
Originally Posted by hannukah harry
just because someone is gay doesn't mean that they should have arrived at their sexuality any differently than someone who's straight.
I hope you're not implying that I say otherwise. I didn't offer an opinion. The only point I make is that the opinion of a heterosexual on the matter is just pointless academic pontification.

Quote:
Originally Posted by hannukah harry
we should be able to extrapolate based on our experience.
In theory that would be the case.

You made my point when you said "we should be able to extrapolate." It's still pure speculation on your part if you're not homosexual.

Personally, I believe individuals have specific sexual proclivities based on a complex and poorly understood interaction between psychology and neuroendocrine response. I'm inclined to think that the abstract notion of "psychology" is a product of BOTH hereditary and developmental influence.

It seems natural to presume one can make a direct analogy from homosexuality to heterosexuality. But that's a presumption conjured in vitro.

If a man wonders why his wife doesn't like sports - what's the point of debating the matter with his friends when he can just go home and ask his wife?

I stand by my point.

Last edited by longbough; 08-30-2006 at 04:39 AM..
longbough is offline  
Old 08-30-2006, 06:40 AM   #69 (permalink)
Pissing in the cornflakes
 
Ustwo's Avatar
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by longbough
The only ones qualified to answer this question are the practicing homosexuals and bisexual folks out there.
Why do only self-proclaimed heterosexuals (like myself) feel that the truth will arise from debate and speculation? Just ask your gay friends and you'll get more insight.
Who is to say we have'nt? I know my opinions on the subject are due to speaking with homosexuals and bi sexuals as well as my own observations.
__________________
Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.
Ustwo is offline  
Old 08-30-2006, 07:35 AM   #70 (permalink)
I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot!
 
raeanna74's Avatar
 
Location: Upper Michigan
Most of the others have already voice my opinion - of which there isn't a totally accurate option for me to choose from.

In my experience, I was raised very conservatively, so I never entertained the idea of engaging in sexual behavior with someone of the other sex. But I recall many times feeling 'excited' and uncomfortable as a result when girlfriends were more physical with me, or when I saw them naked. I chalked it up to me just being unused to those situations. Even when I happened upon my grandpa's stash of playboy magazines, and enjoyed sneaking peaks at them while visiting my grandparents, I just thought it was because it was forbidden. But when I made the choice to actually engage in sexual behavior with another woman, it felt NATURAL, and NORMAL for me.

I could have gone my whole life without acknowledging any interest in women and I don't think I would have 'lost' a part of me but only because I am bi-sexual. For some who are STRONGLY homosexual in their brain chemistry, I would see it as less of a choice. In my case, where it wasn't a strong drive so much as an interest, it was a choice to engage in some sexual behavior with the same sex.

Sexual preferences vary so much that hard and firm extremes are more rarity. I think choice AND genetics BOTH play a role in where you end up.
__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.
raeanna74 is offline  
Old 08-30-2006, 10:03 AM   #71 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Cervantes's Avatar
 
Location: Above you
This is a very interesting question,
In my opinion it is not a choice, sexual preference is something that is not within our control.

I see the world a bit differently, like Freud I think, he had some similar ideas, can't remeber what he called it though.
It is like this, sexuality is sexuality, I don't belive in heterosexuality or homosexuality. Those lables gives the idea that sexuality is divided somehow by impassible limits.
As I see it we are all sexual (bisexual) by nature but our sexual preferences makes us prefer certain traits in the ones we fall in love with, such as gender.

I also differentiate between hard preferences and weak preferences, that being for somone who is, by the "old" way of defining it, heterosexual has a hard preference for partens with the opposite gender. Whereas a guy who prefers big breasts instead of small ones has a weak preference for big breasts. You get the idea.

The weak preferences you can go beyond (ie. the guy can fall in love with a smallbreasted woman) without any serious trouble, but the hard ones are usually, well, harder to pass, not insurmountable but just a heck of a lot harder and usually don't give even close to the same satisfaction as following your preference.

Just as bisexuality is usually biased, meaning they usually prefer one gender a bit more than the other, heterosexuality and homosexuality is hard biases in this "scale".

These preferences are not our choices as I see it, you can't convince somone to fall in love with you. Following that line of thought, you can't convince yourself to fall in love with somone inside or outside of the hard preferences.
Love is love and part of it's beauty is that we can't control it.
__________________
- "Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned.."
- "Religions take everything that your DNA naturally wants to do to survive and pro-create and makes it wrong."
- "There is only one absolute truth and that is that there is only one absolute truth."
Cervantes is offline  
Old 08-31-2006, 09:43 PM   #72 (permalink)
Psycho: By Choice
 
dd3953's Avatar
 
Location: dd.land
Quote:
Originally Posted by hannukah harry
well, if i chose to be straight, how is that any different than someone choosing to be homosexual? same thing goes with if it was natural and no choice.

just because someone is gay doesn't mean that they should have arrived at their sexuality any differently than someone who's straight. we should be able to extrapolate based on our experience.
& just how did you come to decide that you were gonna be straight?
__________________
[Technically, I'm not possible, I'm made of exceptions. ]
dd3953 is offline  
Old 08-31-2006, 10:04 PM   #73 (permalink)
Junkie
 
hannukah harry's Avatar
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by dd3953
& just how did you come to decide that you were gonna be straight?

read the part you quoted again... if... IF i chose...

i didn't choose. i just am.
__________________
shabbat shalom, mother fucker! - the hebrew hammer
hannukah harry is offline  
Old 09-01-2006, 05:20 AM   #74 (permalink)
Soylent Green is people.
 
longbough's Avatar
 
Location: Northern California
this thread becomes an exercise in semantics because of how it's phrased. I guess homosexuality is a choice but only in the sense that eating is a choice. i.e. I have no choice to feel hungry but I choose to eat because I'm hungry.

While a homosexual (and heterosexual for that matter) consciously chooses to identify with that label by deed or declaration they may have no choice over their hormonal/emotional inclinations.
longbough is offline  
Old 09-01-2006, 08:30 AM   #75 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: Beaverton, Oregon
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elphaba

Can someone *choose* a homosexual lifestyle? Of course, and in the same way we might choose just about anything in our life. But the scientific literature grows daily that homosexuality is not chosen but a biological directive. Anecdotally, the gays and lesbians I have known have all said they learned of their same sex attraction at or around puberty.

Man...I had a whole thing written out for this and then it was gone...poopy.

Anyways.

As a gay man, I have always felt that I had exactly 3 choices regarding my sexuality.

1. I could "hide" it. I tried this for a while, by having relationships and sex with only women. It was mildly enjoyable for me. I mean, cumming is cumming. But, it did lead to a lot of lying and self hatred, and because of that I tended to go through partners EXTREMELY quickly. It's like I was overcompensating by screwing lots of girls. A lot of people got hurt and that made it even harder to live with.

2. I could become asexual As the Catholic church used to say(and maybe still does..I am not up on it's stance at this point) "They accept everyone for who they are...even the gay's...they just don't condone the "act" of homosexuality". So it's alright to not have sex with women, as long as your not having sex at all. Basically, be gay, and never act on it. Of course that would lead to more lying and self-loathing.

3. I could "be" gay. Ah bliss! It's where I started out, and where I ended up. Kind of a "full circle" thing. LOL. I found out that even if the world hated me, I no longer did. I was able to live with myself much better without the lies and self-hatred.

Now I'll admit this was much more coherant before my internet crashed as I was posting it. But I think I got the gist of it.

I feel that you are born gay, straight, bi or whatever, but, you do have the choice if you are going to act on it.
__________________
Dr. Zorders : "Jerri, I don't think you're hearing what I'm saying!"
Jerri Blank : "That's OK, you're not saying what I'm hearing!"
anyaslilbro is offline  
Old 09-01-2006, 09:29 AM   #76 (permalink)
I aim to misbehave!
 
rockogre's Avatar
 
Location: SW Oklahoma
This doesn't address the poll question, but it seems to me that you have waited long enough for the acceptance and getting on with the being happy part. You need to go for the happy and screw what the rest of us think!

I will say that it seems biological to me in that if I think with my little head, I find no interest in men what so ever, but a curvy woman will get my interest any time. There is no choice in it for me. My little head does the choosing just as I suspect your body does for you.

Go be happy!
__________________
Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you,
Jesus Christ and the American G. I.
One died for your soul, the other for your freedom
rockogre is offline  
Old 09-01-2006, 03:22 PM   #77 (permalink)
32 flavors and then some
 
Gilda's Avatar
 
Location: Out on a wire.
I voted "no choice" though this is not universal, at least for females.

I did not choose to be lesbian, nor did my wife. She says she’s always been attracted to girls at least since puberty. Her sister reports the same. My sexuality was strongly affected by environmental influences, but this does not make my attraction to females a choice any more than my inability to use my left hand is a choice.

The evidence for males is very strong that exclusive homosexuality for the vast majority of males is a condition that is present at birth and is the result of a combination of genetic factors and gestational hormones. Specifically, unusually high levels of stress hormones early in gestation may activate certain genes, resulting in an orientation to males. This is likely a natural population control method, a built in response to environmental factors that would produce high levels of stress hormones. In non-human mammals the biggest environmental stressors tend to be overpopulation and scarcity of food, both conditions being served by reducing the population. In male-oriented young transitioning male to female transsexuals, the etiology appears to be very similar to that of gay males, though this group is a minority among MTFs. What accounts for the difference isn’t precisely known, but it is thought that the timing of the anomalous hormone levels probably plays a factor.

The evidence for lesbians is far more muddled. There are lesbians, those who exhibit strongly masculine characteristics, or the “bull dyke” stereotype, who seem to have unusual hormone profiles, which in this group points to a biological, though not genetic cause. This also seems to be the most common etiology for FTM transsexuals, who can be difficult to distinguish from very butch lesbians at times. The most common correlation, however, is to acute childhood abuse/trauma, either physical or sexual, as either a victim or witness. Lesbians are far more likely than straight women to have had one or more male abusers in their childhood, teen years or early adulthood, or to have lived in an environment in which they consistently witnessed abuse by males (ie, usually a father/boyfriend abusing their mother). Out of this group, there appears to be two subgroups, those whose sexuality was influenced such that they are rendered incapable of forming the type of bond with a man that a heterosexual relationship requires. Others report simply giving up on ever finding a man capable of meeting their needs sexually, or with whom they can connect emotionally. This last group can fairly be said to have chosen homosexuality, and it seems that even with those for whom it was not a conscious choice, environmental factors outside the womb play a bigger part than genetic or hormonal factors.

Regardless of the etiology, therapy for lesbians tends not to make them straight, even when they’ve resolved the issues related to their past trauma, and “reparative therapies” tend to have about the same success rates as with gay males, with is to say very little, and tend to do much more damage psychologically than help. The goal of therapy for most reputable mainstream therapists who deal with homosexuals is to help them accept who they are and deal with the stresses that accompany their orientation.

Recent studies have show that gay males tend to have certain brain functions that are in line with those of heterosexual females, and lesbians, regardless of etiology, have brain functions, particularly those dealing with the reaction to pheromones, that coincide with heterosexual males, though right now it’s strictly correlational. In other words, we know that lesbian brains tend to respond to women like straight male brains, but we don’t know if that’s the cause, or the result of the homosexuality. Did the differences in brain structure cause the behavior or did the behavior lead to a difference in brain structure? We don’t know, and it would take a longitudinal study to find out.

So with males, it seems they’re born that way, and with females, a minority are born that way, while a majority are the result of environmental factors which lead some to choose homosexuality and others have their orientation influenced in that direction as a result of trauma.

As far as personal experiences, I’m certain that my homosexual orientation is a result of sexual abuse at the hands of several men initially in childhood and later in early adulthood. I’ve had sex with men enough times to know that it’s not possible for me to find either physical release or emotional connection to any man, including one very gentle and understanding boyfriend I had near the end. Grace, on the other hand, has identified as gay since puberty, and never reported any attraction to men at all. She does exhibit some of the common physical features of women with an unusually high level of androgen (for a female) during childhood and puberty, in that she’s unusually tall, has some mildly androgynous features, enjoys sexual dominance, and has always been a bit of a tomboy, never really interested in girly things. Well, other than me. My sister, an MTF transsexual, has been overtly effeminate and identified as female since she was four years old and strongly oriented exclusively to males since the onset of puberty. For none of us was our sexuality a choice.

So, short answer, is it a choice? For males, no, and it seems to be an inborn characteristic. For females, environmental factors are much more important,. For a large portion of females the answer remains no, but for a significant minority of females, it is a choice.

The key thing to remember in all this is that regardless of the cause, there is no good reason to treat homosexuals unfairly or to discriminate against them. How something comes to be the way it is has little to no relation to the value of that thing. Different does not mean sick, and it does not mean bad, and it does not mean harmful. Homosexuality may in some cases result from trauma or other environmental influences, at least in females, but there is nothing morally wrong with it, nor does it harm the individual in any way.

And as my final bit of support for my positions, I'll note that I seem to be in agreement with Ustwo on the major points here, and, to paraphrase him from a few days ago, when Ustwo and I agree on something involving sex, it must be true.

Gilda
__________________
I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that.

~Steven Colbert

Last edited by Gilda; 09-01-2006 at 03:40 PM..
Gilda is offline  
Old 09-01-2006, 03:28 PM   #78 (permalink)
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
 
Willravel's Avatar
 
Whoa, that's an amazing post, Gilda!
Willravel is offline  
Old 09-02-2006, 09:15 PM   #79 (permalink)
Psycho: By Choice
 
dd3953's Avatar
 
Location: dd.land
Quote:
Originally Posted by willravel
Whoa, that's an amazing post, Gilda!
i agree, but i have come to see that gilda always has something interesting to say.
thanks for adding to the conversation
__________________
[Technically, I'm not possible, I'm made of exceptions. ]
dd3953 is offline  
Old 09-04-2006, 11:06 PM   #80 (permalink)
Insane
 
the life of the homosexual is more difficult than that of the heterosexual in every way. if it were a choice, who would choose that?
rlbond86 is offline  
 

Tags
choice


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:35 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360