crow_daw

I personally consider myself happy. I get stressed out alot, but it never actually pushes me into depression or anything. I have a good relationship, a great record in school, a pretty damn bright future in front of me, God willing, and I'm just in a good place right now.

However, about the aforementioned damn bright future, the only problem is that I'm not sure if I want it or not. Other than that, I can't complain.

__________________
"We each have a star, all we have to do is find it. Once you do, everyone who sees it will be blinded." - Earl Simmons

Toaster126

Are you saying choosing to be happy doesn't work, or that you tried it and gave up?

__________________
"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

Sgoilear

Am I happy?

Sometimes. On the whole I'd say that I'm mostly content with the normal ups and downs that everyone has. Happiness never lasts though and I revert to being content with the anticpation of being able to look forward to next time. Without some of the bad things that have happened in my life I most certainly would not be able to appreciate the moments in time when I am happy.

I'm not totally content becuase I can think of a list of ten or so things I could do to further improve myself as a person. A lack of spiritual fulfillment is the largset thing that stands in my way. I think I ask too many questions to ever be content with religon. I'm not planning on stopping but it makes things interesting for sure.

__________________
"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them." -George Bernard Shaw

Sultana

It seems to me to boil down to the saying, "Happiness isn't having what you want, it's wanting what you've got."

However, that doesn't address whether what you've got is good for you, you know? And what if you *don't know* if what you've got is good for you, or if you could do/deserve better, or if it could improve...?

I think that lack of surety is the bane of happiness, my happiness anyways. Once I know what I want, I will move heaven and hell to get it (being a very determined person). Even that effort makes me happy and fulfilled, knowing I'm doing everything I possibly can to achieve whatever it is, even if I haven't gotten there yet (hello, daily exercize!).

But not knowing and just floating around in a puddle of indecisiveness is horrible to me. I tend to get obsessive, constantly worrying at issues like a terrier, driving myself and everyone around me insane, until I get a resolution I can live with.
That, and not being able to *do* for others the way I would like. But I can't have tremendous drive for everyone, they have to have it for themselves. I can help them, then.

Huh. My input seems to be more about *un*happiness than happiness.

__________________
"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

kangaeru

Gilda,

The situation you're in is one which a lot of other people have had to deal with when they've come to the fruitation of their 'Great American Dream'. You have a job, money, religion, security, family...all these things. And yet, to just live day to day as a cog in the system is not enough for you.

I suggest you do something about it. Find a way to travel and see the world and to do meaningful things. Last year, my Mother went on a church sponsored trip to Malawai, Africa with another congregation member for 2 weeks and the experience changed her forever.

Go to Tibet, go to Nepal, go see Mount Everest. Go see the Taj Mahal in India. Take a trip to Europe, to Japan. Break out of the bubble and go on an adventure--you've grown as much as you can in the current bubble you're in. Nothing says you have to stay there, if you're not happy.

These kinds of 'adventures' are not something that only 'other people' do. If you can dare yourself to have the courage to embark upon such a challenge, you will find in the end you will have gained wisdom, experience, and friendships in capacity you didn't even know existed. You will also find a new inner peace and confidence because you dared to do something extraordinary and you not only did it, but you enjoyed it every step of the way.

That's what I did at 19 years old wanting to get out of College and not wanting to take a semester off. I went to Japan. Trust me, it works =)

__________________
Dont be afraid to change who you are for what you could become

Coppertop

Hell yeah I'm happy.

I have a wonderful girlfriend, cool friends, loving family, a steady job, a home, food in my stomach, broadband, just enough money in my bank account, a friend recently diagnosed the problem with my computer, newegg has shipped my new motherboard and come Wednesday I expect it to arrive.

Life is good.

Sultana

Kangaeru, I like that line of thought. Travel also (depending on where one goes) can *really* bring home to you (a general you, not directed at anyone) what you do have, and see if maybe you've been taking a few things for granted.

As an aside, I am also of the opinion that travel can bring folks together...I know that if I can travel with a partner, or a friend, we really do get along. When stewpid Air France lost Jack's luggage, he had to go on the trip of a lifetime without anything but what what on his back and in his carry-on (cameras and equipment!). I witnessed his behavior the entire time, and I was very highly impressed with how he dealt with the situation the entire time. My respect for him grew so much.

__________________
"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

Cynthetiq

as I read more and more posts.... I'm wondering, maybe the word you are looking for is "satisfied" and not happy.

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Sage

I am definitively *not* satisfied, and this leads me to many late nights after Martel has gone to sleep laying in bed and being unhappy. Would I say I'm not happy? NO- I have a wonderful husband who makes me the happiest woman on earth. But everything else about my life is annoying the hell out of me right now, and I'm in the middle of finding enough courage and stregnth to DO something about that.

__________________

joemc91

No, most of the time I am not happy these days. The vast majority of the unhappiness comes from two things. I am almost always bored since the company doesn't have enough work to go around. The last time I worked was a week and a half ago. Plenty of people would think this is the greatest thing ever since the pay is still there, but having nothing to do all the time is depressing. This means little contact with other people, which itself is the other thing causing unhappiness. I don't have many friends out here in this new city and no women in the picture at all. Needless to say, this is pretty depressing.

It's quite the turn-about from school when I was always happy. I had a few wonderful jobs, great friends who I saw every day, and even though I had only one girlfriend for a few months, I don't recall any point when I was depressed.

However, I am relatively satisfied since I have a job I love (when I work), a family whom I get along with great, good friends (even if they're 1000 miles away), and no true worries in my life. I have it pretty good, I'm just not "happy".

noodle

No. I'm not. I love my job, but I'm not happy with it. I had a great boyfriend until he had a psychological break about 28 hours ago, but I wasn't all that happy with him either, no matter how hard I tried. I have a master's degree, liveable salary, a vehicle that runs, a cat that loves me and a family that (as wacked out as they are) love me, too. I'm so unhappy at this point today that I've felt like I want to vomit for the past two days. Are we ever really happy? Isn't that what makes us strive for "more" in our lives?

__________________

serlindsipity

i think happiness is a choice in part. by no means am i saying that outside environs have no affect on us, but more and more trying to be optimistic about even the bad stuff can prove helpful in overcoming anything. Without the bad, the good would not exist, and with that i think a lot of what i hear is the bad that will later lead to the good. I think Gilda is learning about life and what it can do for her or against her. i think "jth" has him/herself figured out and if they can hold on to it, we can learn a lot.

__________________
My third eye is my camera's lens.

Gilda

Thank you for sharing. The concensus seems to be happiness comes from within.

That won't really help me be a happier person, but it does help me with some insight into why I'm not, which I suppose is a step in the right directions.

I don't want to just make this all about me and my problems, which obviously are small compared to what many people have. At the same time, I don't want to ignore those who have responded directly to me or asked for clarification after starting this thread.


I know there will be good moments and bad moments. I know that there are going to be times when some guy will try to cop a feel, pinch me in the ass, try to force me to kiss him, students who are going to be rude to me, supervisors who drop in unexpectedly to observe a class session, homophobic assholes dating my sister. Life is full of disappointments and low points and there's no way to eliminate them completely. The best we can do is minimize risks and avoid those unpleasant situations as much as possible. I get that.

What I'm talking about is the times in between the good moments and the bad moments, when I'm not actively involved in an activity that I enjoy or an activity that I dislike. In those moments, my mood tends more one of . . . I don't know, emptiness, as if there's still something missing. I just can't figure out why I end up in that place more or less by default when I'm not otherwise engaged. Many here are saying it's because happiness comes from within, so I suppose that means that I just don't have it in me to be happy in the absense of some external stimulus, like the people I love, my job, a good movie.

I'd strongly disagree that negative emotions should be savored.

That's the point. Being in this situation should make me happy (content, satisfied) with my life, but it doesn't, and if this is the best my life will ever be, and this doesn't make me happy, that means I'll never be happy with my life.

I accept that what my uncle and my former boyfriends did to me can't be undone and that they wouldn't want to even if they could. It's my own moral failures that I can't let go of, and wouldn't want to, as I don't want to repeat them. They keep me grounded and focused on doing the right thing.

My relationship with my parents is still salvageable. They're both smart people, eventually they may realize that my sexuality isn't about them and has nothing to do with our relationship. I can't just discard a relationship that's so important to me, just because it doesn't bring me anything good. While they're still alive, there's still a chance, a hope that they'll see that I'm a good person.

While I appreciate the compliment, I don't think I've shown any courage. I know I need to get therapy, but . . . it means starting over, going back through all that pain I had to dig through with my old therapist, the months of learning to trust a new a person.

It's much, much more difficult to talk about this stuff with a person in real life than on an anonymous message board.

I had several good moments today also. Maybe I should just accept that good moments is all I get to have and stop expecting there to be more.

kangerau: I do like traveling, but theme parks are about as adventurous as I'm really comfortable with. Thank you for the suggestion, though, maybe someday in the future when I've got things more together.

Ratbastid: I checked your link, thank you for providing it. Unfortunately, the nearest seminar is halfway across the state and the only one scheduled for the next six months conflicts with my job.

I'll try to refrain from posting threads about my personal problems in the future; I don't want to impose too much on the people here for what I should really be doing in therapy.

Gilda

__________________
I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that.

~Steven Colbert

maleficent

Here's a question -- the word happy is being thrown about- and I'm still convinced that it's really satisfaction that is more appropriate but for sake of argument -- what really is happiness -- what's that word mean?

There's a line in that silly tv series Sex and the City which seems appropriate here... You are Shoulding all over yourself... Should is a disease that plagues a lot of people -- you should do this and you shoudl do that... (my mother tells me that at my age I should own a house, have a husband and children and stop travelling here and there) You think you SHOULD be happy because you have so much... Should is an internal form of peer pressure that seems to tell us all the things that we are doing wrong - instead of reminding ourselves of the things that are right...

Would the world stop spinning on its axis if you weren't happy every waking moment... you are allowed bad days - everyone has them...

I'm glad you haven't given up hope on your parents... and this is NONE OF MY BUSINESS-but honestly, woman, if they can't see that you are a good person and see all that you've accomplished in your life... and the respect that somany have for you- then they aren't very smart.. and it's NOT YOUR PROBLEM... Don't let their closemindedness get to you -- They made the choice... I hope that they do change their mind and they they will be sorry for the lost time... But in the here and now there are many more people who accept you for who you are...

__________________

Cynthetiq

Theme parks overseas. There are numbers of them growing in rank each year. Japan has some amazing ones that I'm looking forward to riding. I still have yet to ride my first European coaster, we missed the season in Spain least time we were there, but we're sure to go next time we're going to be in Madrid.

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Sweetpea

Happiness is somewhat inherent, it can also be 'learned'.... it may not nessasarily be a choice... but i think it's something one can come to a place where everything 'clicks' and there is both hope and joy to be found in each day.

My happiness comes from the fact that i'm sick... i'm not terminally sick, but Tietze's Syndrome something i've been diagnosed with since i was 14, it's painful and uncurable at this time in medicine... but i'm okay with that, because it's helped me learn to be happy...

While what i have is not terminal... it does mean that my body is weak, and i've understood for a long time how precious life is, how vulnerable we humans are... and that has been my gift. My life may be cut short, and i could despair over this, but i've learned not too... because i've discovered this simple truth so young in my life, that each moment of joy is worth a million moments... because it may be my last. And i'm not just saying that to be dramatic...

I understood this when my uncle died of a rare disease at 34, i understood this when my friend's child died at the age of 2, barely having begun life....

Life is fragile... We don't have time to waste being unhappy or focusing on only negative things... we only have time to reach out and find the joy we've been searching for.

Any one of our lives could end tomorrow... if you understand that fact... would you still be bothering over the things that cause you unhappiness?

If you knew you would die tomorrow... you would be out there, looking for every second of joy, love and giving you could find.... wouldn't you? There would be no unsolved emotional business, no holding unnessasary anger... there would only be you seeking to live the best day possible....

Everyone thinks that their lives will go on as planned and they will die at 85... it doesn't work like that, if it's one thing i've learned in life... it's that things never go according to plan, so it's our own personal journey to learn how to find the positive in each day... TODAY... tomorrow will take care of itself, Live your joy today.

sweetpea

__________________
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"I am the Type of Person Who Can Get Away With A lot, Simply Because I Don't Ask Permission for the Privilege of Being Myself"

abaya

Am I happy? Am I satisfied? Those are awfully high standards to hold for oneself on a daily basis. I strive to feel "normal," I suppose, and be satisfied with that, I guess? I've been pondering over this question for the past few days, unsure of how to respond. As with many, what will come out is a rush of unconnected thoughts...

I am happy in moments. I have had more happy than unhappy moments of late, mostly because of my recent trip to Lebanon with my ktspktsp which was the highlight of my last 12 months, maybe longer. I think that has kicked up my "happy meter" for an extended period..

But I know that it will run out, and come back down to "normal." And I am becoming okay with that, after spending much of my life seeking after some sense of "ultimate happiness" 24-7. Religion did it for me, for a long time.. it didn't make me happy, but the idea of a God who loved me unconditionally, who held me when I cried, was crucial to my mental health as a teenager. After many years, though, the thought was no longer comforting, it was disturbing in that it required me to surrender my rational thought. So I let go of that form of "happiness."

For me now, normal is just getting through the day, having some nice conversations with people I care about and/or care about me, maybe having some intellectual stimulation from my work and physical challenge from a workout.

If I miss any of these things, then my "normal" meter runs down.. and Gilda, for me too, this often happens at night, before sleeping. My sad thoughts creep in then, and it's hard for me to fend them off. But often I just let them be, let myself feel sad, and let myself fall asleep eventually. Sometimes I cry.. probably once a week on average. That is part of my being normal, I believe. It doesn't mean I am "happy," but it means I am coping with some form of stress in my life, which is better than blocking it. (TFP is a part of this late-night coping, too!)

I know I will always have stress in my life. I know that whether or not I finish my PhD, whether or not ktspktsp and I stay together, whether or not the loved ones in my life live until they are 90 years old or they are taken from me at a much younger age... well, somehow, I have to be okay with any or all of those situations not working out. So I guess "normality" comes from within, a stability that I long to have. And "happiness" I really love, when I can get it... but I don't expect it every day anymore, at least not at the same level that I used to. (Does that mean I am jaded?.. someone else should answer that for me, I guess.)

See my signature for a more concise statement on my philosophy..

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Biscuit Buns

Going out on a limb here and hoping to dodge a self-induced reality check, I'll say that I am happy and when I'm not, I tell myself I am and try my best to believe it. I call it the "ostrich approach" to my own happiness and it's been a sucess so far. I figure if I can get through the day without realizing that I'm NOT happy, I'm doing OK. And actually, I think I really am a happy person, generally, as there aren't many days that I find myself not wanting to reflect on. I'm constantly working to make myself and my life better, so I'm not incredibly concerned (at this point) about delving into and dissecting the bad days. I'd also like to strongly disagree that negative emotions should be savored. Noted or acknowledged, yes, but savored and dissected, not unless circumstance specifically calls for it. I find that anything more on a regular basis brings me down to very low levels that I'm only rarely at (and usually induced by a specific blow). I hope I articulated that as an accurate representation of what really goes on in my head and how my logic works.

To touch on the satisfied question: Am I satisfied? Rarely. Always room for improvement, if not in my life situations, then within myself. Constantly aware of things that need to be changed and constantly working on those things. A bit of a compulsion, but I think that being able to look back on the things that I have accomplished with satisfaction helps keep me happy. See paragraph one.

It really IS all a journey and we each are the center of our own individual universe.

__________________
A hard man is good to find. ~Mae West

Martian

Wow, Biscuit Buns is beautiful and very intelligent.

I completely agree in regards to negative emotions. You can't deny them, but it does little good to dwell on them in any fashion. Unfortunately, this is often easier said than done.

__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

guthmund

I've said this before, but I think negative emotions get a bad rap.

I'm not saying you should embrace the darker emotions unconditionally, but they can serve a purpose. It's what you choose to do with them that matters. The emotions themselves aren't inherently 'bad' (there are no 'bad' emotions, in my opinion, just emotion...). Hate, anger, fear....they should be seen as tools.They are the means to an end. If the end result is something positive, does it really matter what side of the spectrum the emotion driving it falls on?

So...is there something wrong with you? Is there some piece missing? I don't think so. You're just normal.

__________________
No signature. None. Seriously.

Cynthetiq

Exactly why I was saying that negative emotions need to be savored. You may be using other more common meanings, but the less common definition should suffice:

savor: To appreciate fully

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

abaya

Good call, Cyn. I think the misunderstanding here is that "savor" means "to dwell on, cling to, obsess over." I think that's a bad thing to do with "negative" emotions, sure. But I think negative emotions should be appreciated for what they are, as guthmund said... they are emotions, period. Which is what makes them valid in themselves, if you ask me.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Gilda

Hmm. I was interpreting "savor" as meaning "to take deliberate pleasure from" which seems to me to be the opposite of my intent. I'm trying to process the rest of what's been written here, and I'd like to respond, but unfortunately I don't have the time tonight, sorry about that. I'll try to get to it when I can this weekend sometime.

Gilda

__________________
I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that.

~Steven Colbert

Biscuit Buns

Gilda, exactly my thoughts on the concept of "savor."

I'm entirely too dependent on Google... Web definition of "savor." enjoy: derive or receive pleasure from; get enjoyment from; take pleasure in; "She relished her fame and basked in her glory" -from wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

I'm not saying that we shouldn't acknowledge our negative emotions at all, but in an attempt to keep things in balance or keep ourselves in an enjoyable (or, Hell, even passable) place in our lives, we can't always dissect these emotions AS they arrive, EVERY time they arrive. I call it, "getting on with my life."

__________________
A hard man is good to find. ~Mae West

Cynthetiq

Normally one cannot. It's just not possible because usually negative emotions are much more overwhelming than positive ones.

But we do look back, on the hardships we have had in life, and it's at those times, we do savor both sides. The fact that we no longer have to feel those negative emotions, and then to lean on the positive ones and savor and relish those even more.

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

alansmithee

I've reached the opinion that only stupid people can be happy. There's too many things wrong in the world for anyone with any intelligence to have lasting happiness. So I (as someone who consideres himself to have some intelligence) gave up on lasting happiness a long time ago. Sometimes I think I might've made the wrong choice, but I can't go back. I just don't see happiness being in the picture; happiness is a final state, it means you are content with things. I'll be happy when I'm dead. Until then, there's always something that can be improved/changed/accomplished.

match000

I don't mean to sound crude or offensive, but its probably because you went to Japan and got laid lots by hot foreign women. At 19 years old, that's probably the subconcious reason for going to Japan?

match000

That is a wonderful perspective. I have been told it before, of course, but the daily vicissitudes of life really make you lose the big picture, and only focus on stressing on the little picture.

Will I find happiness once I lose my virginity with a woman I find attractive? I better stop stressing about it, find joy today, or at least the pursuit of my joy today, and stop stressing about the past or the future -- the "should have's" and "should's".

Thanks sweatpea!

match000

I think happiness can also be found in helping others, bringing joy [and happiness] to them for however short a time you can.

Accomplishments that have brought happiness unto others are more important to look back on and feel happy yourself on than accomlishments that have only served yourself.

Right now I've done much of only the latter. I need to work on the former alot more. Community service here I come!!

match000

So perhaps the question is:

1) Is happiness the constant pursuit of your goals (which will in turn give you feelting happiness which quickly turns into satisfaction only), but most importantly, to pursue *new* goals once the old ones have been reached?

2) Or is hapiness the result of completing your goals? (hence the pursuit could be unhappy or happy).



Gilda, your original post implies that you have run out of goals.

Based on Theorem 1, you feel 'satisfaction' rather than happiness because you *feel* you have no more goals to pursue, and since happiness is derived from the pursuit of goals but not the end result itself, you feel not happy but only satisfied.

The problem then would be you need to find new goals.


Based on theorem 2, since you have already acommplished so many of your goals, you should already be happy. But you're not. So Thm 2 is false and that, at least for you, happiness is derived from the pursuit of goals (those things which you *think* will bring you *lasting* happiness but which only bring you momentary happiness and then turn into only satisfaction).


So assuming Thm 1 is correct, that happiness is mainly from the pursuit of goals, why do we get so stressed (or 'negative emotions') when we are pursuing our goals? I think stress is an indicator that reminds us that our pursuit is slowing down, and stress make us get our be-hinds in gear and achieve our goal(s).

We mistakenly *think* that achieving goals yields us happiness, but then we are puzzled when we only feel satisfied. So we reach for newer goals. And so on. We must reach our goals ASAP.

So I believe I cannot conclude that happiness is solely derived from the pursuit of goals. Rather, it is also directly proportional to the rate of change of finding new pursuits of goals (higher your rate of -completing- your old goals and -finding- new goals, the more happy you are).

I guess an analogy would be that happiness is most like velocity and acceleration: happiness derived from pursuit of goals is velocity, happiness derived from the completion of goals is like acceleration. Like, how when a pendulum swings back and forth, stopping at the two extremes of its swing. At those points max distance has been reached (aka the Goal), velocity is 0 (ie no more happiness derived from pursuit), acceleration is max (ie happiness derived from goal completion is maxed).

At the midpoint of the swing, velocity is maxed (pursuit happiness maxed), acceleration is 0 (goal happiness is 0, you haven't reached your goal at all at this point!).

I guess pursuit happiness can also be called happiness derived from anticipation.

Anyways, right now you are like a pendulum stuck on the extreme end. Happiness derived from goal completion is short-lived and quickly turns into satisfaction, as postulated above. So right now you are maxed with goal happiness but really that has become goal satisfaction. But you also have 0 velocity and thus 0 pursuit happiness, the main component of happiness. You need to unhook yourself from the end, get the pendulum back swinging, so to speak.


After typing that all down, I think I also know why I can't get laid now.

alansmithee

Maybe you should head to Japan?

Cynthetiq

Hence the saying,"Ignorance is Bliss."

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Daoust

Is there a possibility that there is such a thing as happiness, and that it is found somewhere where you don't want or choose not to find it?

Is there a possibility that happiness is at the tips of your fingers and it's so close you can taste it, but you reject it anyway because you'd rather look in vain for it somewhere where you think it might be, but deep down know it is not?

__________________
I have faith in a few things - divinity and grace
But even when I'm on my knees I know the devil preys

Ustwo

I don't think so, its just being able to not be a sour puss

Right now someone just found out their child is dying, right now someone is getting raped, right now someone is thinking of suicide, right now someone is starving, right now someone is thinking they should vote democrat, but the trick in life is not dwelling on others pain to the point that you can't feel pleasure yourself. Feeling bad for other people does nothing for them, and only makes you feel bad.

We are all going to die, perhaps if we were born 300 years later we might have found immortality, but its going to come to late for us, so we might as well enjoy ourselves.

First, do what makes you happy, don't worry about others being happy, then once you are happy you can tackle some of the worlds issues without it making you an emotional wreck.

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Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

Cynthetiq

dammit why did you have to quote Van Halen... and dammit.. now I want a Pepsi.

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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Ustwo

If it makes you feel better I wasn't thinking of Van Halen, and giving them credit for the term 'right now' is just way over the top.

....I was drinking pepsi when I wrote that so maybe its a conspiracy...hmmmm...

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Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

Gilda

I must disagree. My sister is a genius, literally, and is generally happy with her life. Though I've not met a wide range of people, I've never seen anyone who enjoys life more than she does.

Gilda

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I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that.

~Steven Colbert

Suave

The only people who can't be happy or content are those who either have a chemical imbalance in their brain, or who choose not to. It's not about being stupid or ignorant, it's about a state of mind.

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"Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions." - Albert Einstein

"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." - Plato

Zeraph

I thought I had posted on this thread already though I don't see one so...

I am Haaaaaaaapppppppyyyyy! My life is getting more stressful (as I move toward graduating and getting a real job) and I want a girlfriend but there's always something to work toward and I don't let that stop me from being happy.

Gilda

Sissy's "diagnosis" (as much as you can call a sophomore pre-med student's opinion a diagnosis) is the chemical imbalance thing.

She says I'm showing all of the textbook symptoms of a seratonin deficiency: depression, insomnia, shyness, anxiety, and mild symptoms of ocd. She's been pushing me to see a doctor about getting an SSRI anti-depressant. I really don't want to do that. I'm can't help but think that maybe the wrong parts of my personality will be altered. What if it's the good stuff that changes, instead of the bad stuff that I want fixed? For example the very mild OCD stuff, while a little annoying to Sissy and Grace, is actually more beneficial than harmful. A little obsessive neatness and organization means a household that is always neat, clean, well-arranged, and organized, and various other benefits. I'd consider losing that a big negative.

But more than that, I can't help but think that if these drugs can alter my personality, what if I'm no longer me on the drugs? If I'm just getting happiness out of a pill, is that really happiness, or just a drug-induced illusion?

Grace says they don't work that way, and they both tried to explain the specific mechanism, which still doesn't make them seem completely safe to me.

Well, I've hit my professional goal for the most part. I suppose I could set my sights on full professor, or getting tenure, but those things seem like small things at this point compared to just getting to where I am. I'm far more worried about losing what I currently have than I am about moving forward.

So in that sense, I have goals. Don't screw up and lose my job. Don't hurt my family. Get my arm healed, or as much as it can be.

My big goal right now, though, is to try to figure out how to enjoy this more. I have everything I've ever wanted, or at least everything I've ever wanted that it's possible for me to have. I can't have children, and I can't fix the moral failures of my past. Those things, as much I'd like to fix them, are beyond the possibility of repair. So, again, it comes down to learning how to be happy, content, satisfied, or whatever word you want to use for that, with what I have and try to preserve that for as long as I can. I think that's a worthy goal. I just don't know what to do to get from here to there.

Gilda

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I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that.

~Steven Colbert