Here's a question -- the word happy is being thrown about- and I'm still convinced that it's really satisfaction that is more appropriate but for sake of argument -- what really is happiness -- what's that word mean?
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That's the point. Being in this situation should make me happy (content, satisfied) with my life, but it doesn't, and if this is the best my life will ever be, and this doesn't make me happy, that means I'll never be happy with my life.
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There's a line in that silly tv series Sex and the City which seems appropriate here... You are Shoulding all over yourself... Should is a disease that plagues a lot of people -- you should do this and you shoudl do that... (my mother tells me that at my age I should own a house, have a husband and children and stop travelling here and there) You think you SHOULD be happy because you have so much... Should is an internal form of peer pressure that seems to tell us all the things that we are doing wrong - instead of reminding ourselves of the things that are right...
Would the world stop spinning on its axis if you weren't happy every waking moment... you are allowed bad days - everyone has them...
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My relationship with my parents is still salvageable. They're both smart people, eventually they may realize that my sexuality isn't about them and has nothing to do with our relationship. I can't just discard a relationship that's so important to me, just because it doesn't bring me anything good. While they're still alive, there's still a chance, a hope that they'll see that I'm a good person.
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I'm glad you haven't given up hope on your parents... and this is NONE OF MY BUSINESS-but honestly, woman, if they can't see that you are a good person and see all that you've accomplished in your life... and the respect that somany have for you- then they aren't very smart.. and it's NOT YOUR PROBLEM... Don't let their closemindedness get to you -- They made the choice... I hope that they do change their mind and they they will be sorry for the lost time... But in the here and now there are many more people who accept you for who you are...