snowy

So folks, as many of you know, I'm getting married in August to my fabulous fiance. We're really quite excited! The wedding planning is going well, and now we're starting to get down to some of the smaller details of the ceremony and reception, since the bigger things have been taken care of.

So my question is--with traditions at a wedding, would you miss them? I'm speaking of things like the father-daughter dance, the garter tossing, the mother-son dance, the father walking the bride down the aisle, etc.

We're skipping the father-daughter/mother-son dance. For one, I think the last time my dad and I danced together, I was small enough to stand on his feet. For two, my future mother-in-law can't dance and neither can my fiance. It's going to be hard enough to do our first dance together at the reception. Like, seriously, we should just pick a song already and start practicing; I've even thought about insisting he take lessons of some kind this summer (both he and his mother have NO sense of rhythm, and they'll readily admit it).

I'm also not being given away. This is a feminist wedding! I'm going to my future husband as an equal partner in this, not as a piece of property to be given away by my father. My dad is completely understanding; he's definitely a feminist too.

What about things like tossing the bouquet and garter? I'm not sure about those. To be honest, I like the former but not so much the latter. I don't really see the point. My mother is totally sold on the garter tossing. I'm sure it's "fun" but it also seems kind of tasteless to me.

So what traditions do you like? What don't you like? Would you miss them or not were they not included in a wedding you attended? What did you choose to include in your own wedding? What did you skip?

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Redlemon

We skipped the parent-child dances, since my wife's parents are divorced.

We had BOTH of our parents escort BOTH of us down the aisle. I think that's common in Jewish weddings, although we aren't Jewish. First my family, and my parents lit candles. Then her family, and her candles. Midway through the ceremony, we merged the candles. However, we didn't blow out the old candles, we kept those going.

Kept the bouquet throw, skipped the garter. Bouquets are fun, garter removal and putting on gets sleazy.

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Baraka_Guru

A feminist wedding? What next, a vegan hunting trip?

As for wedding ceremonies, I'm totally open to eschewing anything and replacing it with more modern social practices. My sisters had traditional weddings, and they seemed so awkward, rehearsed, and phony. This is mainly because we're non-religious, I suppose, but that's what I took away from them. It's not just weddings. Traditional practices seem a thing of the past these days. I blame the Internet.

I find things like the garter tossing to be cheesy.

Just do what you think is fun....but stay classy. Remember: it's your day.

As for me, I was married once, but it was a "procedure" with a justice of the peace. That marriage was a sham and it ended in less than a year.

Currently? My SO and I don't believe in marriage.

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Plan9

I think everybody knows my stance on the topic.

But, yeah, traditions change. Think Vegas. As long as you make some good warm 'n fuzzies for yourself and get it on film, who cares if its what Mom and Dad did? Odds are your subtle changes make it a different enough break with tradition already.

You're so good.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Seaver

The only thing I hate is an improper reception.... also known as "no alcohol".

Seriously... I don't care that 3 members of your family are alcoholics... I want to have a good time.

Though usually I bring in 2-3 bottles of my own anyways. I just tip the bartender $30 or so and tell him to keep the cokes comin'. They always know whats going on, but I've never had one stop me.

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Plan9

Hah, my wedding reception was totally improper then. I didn't want a bunch of drunken army kids stumbling around the fancypants plantation house like a herd of retarded gazelles. They could barely get their boots tied sober. This one kid actually showed up without boot laces and had to buy them half an hour before the main event. Everybody got nice and toasted once the dress clothes were ditched, though. Glad it went down like that; safer that way.

For all the "good times" a little booze can generate at a wedding, I'd imagine it can really fuck your whole day up if That One Guy takes it a little too far.

I guess the wedding tradition that is missing today is drinking in moderation.

Dunno, bro... I got a semi in front of everybody diving up that voluminous skirt to fetch it. There's a really funny picture of it somewhere.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

The_Jazz

snowy - let me share what I discovered with my wedding reception: it wasn't about me. It wasn't even about my wife. It wasn't about us. It was about family.

I suggest that you talk to your dad and that E talks to his mom about the dances. If they want to do them, do them. If they don't, cross them off. Do one but not the other. There's no "right" or "wrong" here.

When picking songs, make sure they're dancable. It helped that I introduced The_Wife to Count Basie early in our relationship. We ended up with a Bobby Darin song, but there were 2 Count Basie songs early on.

If you don't like the garter toss, don't do it. If you like it, do it. Same with the bouquet.

Now, the controlling thing here isn't what you like or don't like, though. If your family (the united one, not just your mom and dad) has traditions, you need to acknowledge those, provided that they don't turn your stomach.

One thing to keep in mind - your future MiL. Typically, instructions for mothers of the groom are "shut up, sit down and wear beige". A dance with E might help if the rest of the stuff is about you (which is how weddings tend to operate).

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roachboy

back in the jurassic period when wheels were still square and things moved at a less-than-snails pace on account of that, in the midst of which for reasons i either can no longer recall or no longer care to recall i became a married person, the Thing that i Learned from the Experience really is that it's important for the people actually getting married to be able to look back on the ceremony and think that it really was in some ways about them and not just about the families. this can be a dicey affair. i was pretty fortunate in this regard; my brother was much less so.

anyway.

we dispatched with the garter and replaced it with a flower head-dress thing. instead of the tossing, all the single ladeez joined hands and danced around in a circle around the bride who was blindfolded. she may or may not have also been spinning, i can't remember. everything was at that point. but i digress. the bride who is blindfolded puts the ring of flowers on her head onto that of one of the other ladeez whom she cannot see.

there was something really sweet about that. i can't put my finger on it. but i remember it after all this time.

CONTROL THE MUSIC AT THE RECEPTION. this cannot be stressed enough. do NOT do the hokey pokey or the chicken dance. we had a bluegrass band. this meant that our reception devolved at speed into a party, but a really really fun party, one that we had to be thrown out of at 2 am in order to depart for the honeymoon thing. because we had been living together you see. a good party was way more rare than anything that awaited. this only tells how good the party was.

i think the chicken dance degrades everything around it. it is a capitulation to something. not sure what. the anti-cthulu maybe. it makes you feel that you've been covered with some nasty slimy thing, or that an unsavory person in leiderhosen has managed to rub you down with a bratwurst. this is a feeling best avoided.

i think we had a carriage bring us from a church (!) to the reception. i think there were horses involved. i remember liking the carriage ride. even so, i think that's probably situation-optional.

minimize the need for guests to drive.

right: i think there might have been some dance sequence but it was more just because people wanted to do it than a RITUAL during which folk were expected to stand about and say oo and aah while some vile power ballad unfolds its unfortunate characteristics in the soundspace. so i would not actively prevent the parental dancy thing---you know, i wouldn't have any of those dude who carry the little doorknobs on sticks that typically whack puritans upside the head who fall asleep during the interminable services those people go to on sunday descend upon any parents who want to dance with their kid. i'd just encourage people to not make a Production out of it and minimize the vile power ballad thing.

o yeah. the food: simple but good. that's all it has to be.

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Plan9

Wow, I'm never going to be able to see the chicken dance again without feeling like I've been sexually assaulted.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

lurkette

I'm stunned by how many "traditions" there are surrounding weddings, and how many of them could be safely done away with. At my best friend's wedding (I was the M of H), there was some weird "parade of attendants" thing before the dance, there were 5 HOURS of photos, lots of hoopla around the toasts and cutting the cake and things...it was just a LOT.

I say ditch what you don't personally find meaningful, or at least replace it with something that is symbolic/meaningful for you. Your guests will thank you for not holding them hostage waiting for the next staged activity.

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Starkizzer

We didn't have any dancing at my wedding no parent/kid dance and we didn't do a first dance either. Smrt can not dance either and looked green every time I suggested lessons. I do not know how his mom dances, but my dad has had double knee replacement and now has calcium deposits on the backs of his heels, he had to walk me down the aisle with a cane.

We did do the garter and bouquet toss. I didn't really want to as there were only about 6 people eligible to participate. My mom made us do them because "people were expecting us to". It was kind of sad and lame but we did it anyway. It didn't kill us but I knew it was important to my mom and our guests so I did it. Also, smrt really wanted to have the keepsake garter, silly boy.

However, the big thing for me WAS to have my dad give me away. I knew this was important for him and I don't view it as him "giving me away" I viewed it more as my dad having the honor to walk his daughter down the aisle on one of her most important days and being there beside me to support me. I don't think the smile on his face could have been any bigger. For me this was important because my dad was not able to be around much when I was a kid due to him diving truck to send money home to my grams to support us. He has always felt guilty for missing important moments in my childhood so I make sure that he is a part of all my important moments as an adult.

He was so excited to do this one thing he even carved himself a new cane out of wood so he had a nice one to walk me down the aisle with.

We also did away with the groom not seeing the bride before the wedding tradition. He had seen me dress and me in my dress long before the wedding. Plus we did a lot of our wedding photos before the ceremony so that after we could spend time with each other and our guests. We didn't have any of the traditional cheesey wedding songs, instead we played a few songs that meant something to us and the rest was Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin, in my opinion, PERFECT wedding music.

The wedding party walked down the aisle to music that SecretMethod pointed me to (Thank you!) I hate the traditional wedding march so much that at the rehearsal my dad and I hummed the death march as we walked down. So instead I found one I liked better, Weeding March from Dalarna in Sweden.

I would not have change anything about the day, it goes by so quickly that everything seems like a blur, so even the traditions that I didn't want to do seemed like mere seconds in a dream to me now.

Perhaps, ask your family how important some of these traditions are and pick a few for them.

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levite

So, some of what you're asking about, I can't comment on, since Jewish weddings have different traditions.

But that said, I can tell you that my wife and I had a deeply non-traditional wedding, both in terms of the Jewish traditions, and in terms of some of the secular traditions that Jews embrace also. For example, we both decided to wear formal Indian clothing, though neither of us is Indian, just because we loved the way they looked and felt. Our parents hated the idea. We decided not to have any dancing. Instead, we found a band to play during the reception that did fusion Brazilian-Ladino music: lovely, smooth, with enough beat to make you bounce a little, but not enough to demand actual dance. Our parents hated the idea. Instead of a fancy sit-down reception, we had a Middle Eastern cuisine buffet; instead of wedding cake we had baklava. Our parents hated the idea. Instead of bridesmaids and groomsmen we each had a posse of friends; we told them they could wear whatever they wanted, as long as it was a solid color. Our parents hated the idea. On the invitiations, we put (in both English and Hebrew) "black tie prohibited; shoes optional." Our parents hated the idea. We went with no flowers, minimal decorations, relatively plain table settings, reception in the synagogue's multipurpose room, in the name of making things simpler, easier, and less pressure on everyone. Our parents hated the idea. We had everyone stay at a nearby hotel, at which we negotiated a package deal; we asked everyone to come for the whole weekend: we got married on Sunday, but spent all Saturday at the hotel with our guests. We had informal Sabbath services together, but also ate together, and hung out at the pool together. Our parents hated the idea.

But it turned out to be amazing. We were so happy and comfortable and free of pressure, we got the chance to actually spend some quality time with our guests, and we loved the music and the food and so did our guests, everyone felt comfortable and un-pressured, and the whole weekend had a glow of easygoing fun and creative celebration. All our guests remarked on how much fun they had, and how our wedding just radiated happiness and love of life. Our parents loved it.

Do what pleases you. Don't be afraid to be happy and creative. If you make this day a celebration of you and your fiance and what makes the two of you happy and connected, it will show, and your guests and families will respond accordingly.

Be respectful and loving when you explain to your parents/siblings/family that you won't be doing this or that, or you plan to do X or Y. Explain gently that you value their opinion and you are so glad they will be there and you love them so much, but this is your wedding and you need for it to be the way you need it to be.

And if the planning gets rocky between you and your fiance, just remember: if the end of the wedding day comes, and you two are married-- that was a successful wedding.

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Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)

cj2112

Our wedding was NOT a traditional wedding at all. the pics certainly show this. MyStudio 44 click on Casual Weddings. We got married on the 4th of July. Our wedding was held at outdoors at private park, we wore shorts and flip flops. Basically we held an old fashioned 4th of July BBQ for about 150 of our closest friends and family. It was way relaxed, and a lot of fun. You can see from the pictures it was extremely informal.

Keep in mind that things will go wrong, also keep in mind that nobody will even notice, unless you tell them.

Daniel_

I think the key tradition is that the bride and groom both turn up, and agree to be married.

Everything else is just gravy.

As for the ones you cite - my wedding was odd. For family reasons her Dad didn't come, and my Mum didn't come (not the same reason for both).

I danced with my wife, all night. We didn't have a garter, so she couldn't toss it. The bouquet was being preserved so we didn't toss that. We stayed in the hotel, so we didn't have a leave-taking.

I despair of people who attach so much significance to the wedding itself - are you getting married for a party, or for the lifetime?

If it's "the most important day in your life" will you look back in 10 years time and say "if ONLY I'd had the little satin bags of sugared almonds, you wouldn't be fucking your secretary", or even "I love you, but I can't get over the nagging feeling that we should have pushed cake in each other's faces".

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snowy

Yes, all of the traditions we wish to eschew have been discussed with the relevant parties, and it's been largely agreed upon that they won't be happening. My SO's mom knows she can't dance, and she likely won't be able to dance at the wedding anyway--she broke her ankle in February on a trip and it's still not totally okay, and won't be by August. The other issue is that my SO and his mother have had a rocky relationship, and he doesn't want to dance with her at all because of this.

And roachboy--the music is going to be an iPod hooked up to a sound system so I have absolute and total control over what will be played. I've been ripping music off of CDs so that the quality will be decent and not terrible. I like the garland idea--I was planning on having one made by a friend's sister anyway.

Seaver--no hard alcohol will (technically) be served, but we're ordering a keg (friend works for a local brewery) and cases of wine, in addition to providing some select family members with booze of their choice (there's a grandpa, for instance, who won't drink anything but Canadian whiskey, and my mother only drinks MGD). Since it's a private party at a private residence, people can certainly feel free to bring their own booze.

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Lasereth

We did NONE of the stuff mentioned in your post at our wedding and I wanted it that way. If you don't want to do some of the traditions, don't, and don't do them because others want you to.

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ZombieSquirrel

I have a feeling I wouldn't have a traditional wedding. The whole planning process would be sad since both of my parents are deceased. So no daddy-daughter dance for me. I still leave the room when this goes down at other weddings. No dad to walk me down the aisle. When my mom was alive, I envisioned her doing it in his place. Sadly, she will not be at my wedding either. The thought of me walking down by myself and people having sad looks on their faces pitying the poor orphan just makes me nauseous. If I have a wedding, I'll probably ask my oldest brother to walk me down the aisle, but nothing about "who gives this woman....blah blah blah."

Without my parents, I'm not going to enjoy my wedding. I know it's supposed to be about the couple, but I agree with The Jazz that a wedding and reception is all about the families. If it was just about the couple, weddings wouldn't be such spectacles. I courthouse wedding or a Vegas drive through wedding sounds fine by me.

As for a bouquet toss, it's ANYTHING but traditional at rugby weddings. Of all my rugger friends who have gotten hitched, we always do the bouquet toss lineout style.


Instead of a ball....it's a bouquet and the ladies are wearing lovely wedding attire. It's really awesome. I'll have to find a pic from my friend's wedding this past October.

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ring

Hose fights should be a new tradition for weddings.

We were married in a small house on 105 degree day with no AC.

After our guests scurried back to their cool hotel room, (all ten of them)

My husband and I had a wicked cool hose fight.

LordEden

I'm with Plan on his views of marriage and we all know what that is.

That said, I will be drunk and standing in front of a Elvis Impersonator when/if I get married. I'm not the person to talk about this.

All I got to say is, The_Jazz is right, it's all about the family. They are the ones big weddings are for. If not, half of the weddings would be in a backyard with some beer and be over in 10 minutes.

Do what you want. It's your day.

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genuinegirly

I'm a fan of tradition and ceremony, so...

Our wedding ceremony involved a full Catholic mass, a chapel-length veil, and a jolly old priest. The only non-traditional component we threw in was my father walking down the aisle to "Jupiter" (not exactly a traditional wedding march, nor a theme frequently heard in a church, and the only reflection of our obsession with science fiction). My father walking me down the aisle brought a window of calm in an otherwise hectic morning. It was incredibly special to me, and I wouldn't trade that experience for the world. We had a flower girl and a ring bearer, a junior groomsman with a junior bridesmaid, etc. What started out as a very small wedding party turned into a large, happy crowd a month before the wedding. The unity candle was another moment that was very special, as was the blessing from our parents, and walking hand-in-hand with Tt with a small bouquet to place at the feet of Mary. I look back at our (amazingly beautiful, professional) photos and wish that somehow those precious moments could have possibly been captured better. They seem so incomplete, as though thousands of cameras would have been necessary to capture the intensity of the hour. At the reception, the daddy-daughter dance and first dance were one in a traditional style that I had never encountered - I began dancing with Tt to Frank Sinatra, Daddy surprised me by sneaking the mic from the DJ and asking Tt if he could cut-in. The lonely groom was then approached by his mother, and they danced alongside my father and I. The dancers on the floor gradually grew to the rest of the wedding party, who then asked others to dance. It was unpracticed, but moved as smoothly as a well-choreographed dream.

While with my own wedding I wouldn't have considered cutting out any of the traditions you've mentioned, I am a firm believer that a bride and a groom should make the wedding entirely their own. Your choice to omit certain components of the ceremony and the reception is a reflection of your unity. I doubt I would notice anything was missing, as long as the day flows at a natural pace and you two are happy.

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Cynthetiq

We had a very small wedding it was on the deck of a boat on the Gulf at sunset of Long Boat Key. We were married by a notary public. Silk flowers so that we could keep them, we didn't tell caterers it was for a wedding, just X amount of people, and 3 servers. We had to pay extra for them to be on the boat since we paid for the boat by the head.

We didn't have any photographers or videographers. We saved that expense, but I think we both agree we missed something in having organized group shots. The digital cameras no one knew who was to look where at what time.

It should have been at Skogafoss in Iceland.

I worked out the compromises for the family. There were no other traditional things that happened. We didn't even dance because we forgot the CD of Dave Brubaker's Take 5. There is one secret dance we had when we stole away for a moment just as we were coming back to shore. It's my favorite moment of the entire boat ride.

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Charlatan

I didn't want to get married. Sure, I wanted to commit to being with my girlfriend but I didn't want to get married per se.

At the time I saw the institution of marriage as completely stupid and dead thing. Both of us came from divorced families (and so did most of my friends). In addition to that, I had been to a number of wedding ceremonies and they were all the same, with the same odd traditions (many of which have been listed already). I felt absolutely no connection to these trappings and as I went to more and more weddings it felt like was re-living the same nightmare over and over again (or at least everyone was reading from the same check list).

I really hated it and vowed to never do it.

When I asked my wife "marry me" I did so by asking her to grow old with me. It was a commitment.

She wanted more. She wanted the dress and the day, BUT she also shared a lot of my opinions on the whole wedding thing. We decided that a wedding, when pared down to its essentials is an event where you, as a couple, declare your intentions to your friends and family and then you celebrate it.

We were going to do it our way or no way.

There would be no religion present (as a non-believer, I could not in good conscience make a vow to a deity in which I have no belief). There would be no marriage licence (we were already common law married in the eyes of the law, I saw no need to deal with the state on this). We would walk into the hall together to a piece of music of our choosing (the aria from La Wally). Instead of bits of scripture we asked a few friends to get up and say a few words. One sang a song. One read some poetry. Another read from Green, Eggs and Ham. My wife and I each said a few words about why we were there and then we were married.

We had about 100 friends and family there to witness. There was no garter or bouquet tossing nonsense. There was a first dance between the two of us but none of the usual father daughter, mother son stuff. In fact, we didn't have a wedding DJ (just a friend and a few crates of records). The MC was my wife's Dad and he kept his talking to a minimum. There were speeches but they were from those who wanted to say something.

If I was to do it all again, I would probably scaled it down even further and just have pizza and champagne in someone's backyard (in fact, that's what we did when we got re-married a few years ago).


I should mention that there was some friction from my wife's family when we first announce that we wouldn't be getting married in a church. He family is Religious. They have members of the Anglican clergy in the family. One branch of the family declined their invitation to attend. They went to another family wedding (a more traditional one) about a month later. That marriage lasted two weeks (really). We just celebrated 17 years.

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Meditrina

My wedding day was clearly not meant to be about me at all. I did whatever I could to make sure both sides of the family were happy. I danced with my father, he danced with his mother. Both of my parents walked me down the aisle. It was an interfaith marriage, he was Catholic and I was Jewish. So I tried to pull in a piece of each. My grandfather said the blessing over the challah bread and the groom broke the glass for good luck (we didn't know at the time that it would not work). We each lit a candle and then lit the unity candle with them (the unity candle never made it home that day - maybe that was a sign?). I don't remember having fun at the reception because I was so worried that everyone was happy. The groom didn't care about anybody but himself and got very drunk.

If I were to do this day over again, I'd pay more attention to what I wanted and do things my way. My way would include dancing with my dad though. Looking back, that was one the best parts of the day, a moment I will never forget. Looking up and seeing my dad crying with pride was amazing. Every time I hear our song I will always think of him. I guess I would keep all the small traditions that we did. I do like knowing that the family was happy. I know it meant a lot to them. If I did this day over again, I'd marry someone else

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CinnamonGirl

When I got married, we did the dances a little differently... when I danced with my dad, the groom danced with his mom, and when I danced with my stepdad, groom danced with my mom. Honestly, I threw in the dance with my dad so he wouldn't feel left out completely-- my stepdad walked me down the aisle, since he was way more of a father figure to me.

Everything else was pretty standard, tradition-wise. I did NOT want to do the Dollar Dance, though...I thought it was tacky, and just another way to ask for money, and I didn't feel comfortable doing so. However, at the reception, about 15 different people asked about it, so I said "fuck it...let's do it."

One thing I wish I'd done-- at a few weddings I've been to, instead of a bouquet toss, the bride gave it to her her maid of honor. I thought that was cool.


If I do it again...which isn't likely...I'm thinking I'll focus more on an awesome honeymoon that the ceremony itself (although, I did find out a few months ago that the science museum in Columbus has rental areas for weddings, birthdays, and conferences. How awesome would that be?!)

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Wes Mantooth

Personally no, although I can see why people do like them as its part of the big day and observing all those little traditions is part of what makes it special. That said I'm not really much of a traditionalist and having never been married, usually watch from a distance as a guest with a stupid grin on my face while trying not to sneak a glimpse at my watch. I'd go through with the whole thing if the girl I was marrying wanted to (probably with my luck) but I would just as soon sign the marriage certificate and get on with the honeymoon...Honestly dance floor in a lame convention hall with tacky music and flying bouquets or more time for boot kicking on the beach in Tahiti? Seems like a no brainer, but thats just me.

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warrrreagl

When Grancey and I got married (17 years ago), I was the one who escorted her on the aisle both ways. During the processional, I stood next to my best man (my father) and the judge at the front, and when she appeared at the back of the chapel, I walked up the aisle, took her arm, and escorted her down to the judge. Once we got to the front, we exchanged places with the judge so that his back was to the audience and we were facing out so they could see us. Then, I escorted her back up the aisle when it was over.

You make your own traditions, I suppose.

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Charlatan

warrrreagl... I really like that you faced the audience. Cool idea.

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telekinetic

I think this is a hilarious twist on the garter toss, probably brought to you by high power LED flashlights:

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twisted no more

Cynthetiq

she's giving birth to ET!!!

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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

LordEden

Or Jesus.

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Vice-President of the CinnamonGirl Fan Club - The Meat of the Zombiesquirrel and CinnamonGirl Sandwich

Baraka_Guru

Or Dynamo.

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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Plan9

Not to be a nerd, but that light looks a little too warm to be a LED.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Daniel_

You're right! This is proof of that long wished for cliché "a woman who believes the sun shines out of her ass".

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╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

Grancey

Yeah, right. It's interesting how Red remembers select things, and I remember all the things that went wrong. I'd like to give you a list......

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Quiet, mild-mannered souls might just turn out to be roaring lions of two-fisted cool.

snowy

Yeah, I don't expect FMIL to shut up and sit down as the entire reception is being held at their house (in their garden).

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Eilonwy

I think that it would make me really sad to not have my dad walk me down the isle if I ever get married.

As for the other stuff, though, I agree with the opinion that the day should be about the 2 getting married, so they should do what they want.

I would also miss an open bar.

Plan9

Was that a Running Man reference?

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."