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snowy - let me share what I discovered with my wedding reception: it wasn't about me. It wasn't even about my wife. It wasn't about us. It was about family.
I suggest that you talk to your dad and that E talks to his mom about the dances. If they want to do them, do them. If they don't, cross them off. Do one but not the other. There's no "right" or "wrong" here.
When picking songs, make sure they're dancable. It helped that I introduced The_Wife to Count Basie early in our relationship. We ended up with a Bobby Darin song, but there were 2 Count Basie songs early on.
If you don't like the garter toss, don't do it. If you like it, do it. Same with the bouquet.
Now, the controlling thing here isn't what you like or don't like, though. If your family (the united one, not just your mom and dad) has traditions, you need to acknowledge those, provided that they don't turn your stomach.
One thing to keep in mind - your future MiL. Typically, instructions for mothers of the groom are "shut up, sit down and wear beige". A dance with E might help if the rest of the stuff is about you (which is how weddings tend to operate).
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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo
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