|
Just answer the question or I'll twist your nipple.
Is that your car? |
No, it's a flying carpet.
Do you know this person? |
I'm not certain. Ask her to disrobe and then I'll be sure.
Where did you meet her? |
Somewhere else.
Is the pizza here yet? |
wait, lemme ask your face.
did you spit in this? |
Let's just say that I'd like to give this to you to show how much I care about you. (secretly spat in it)
Are you going to wear that to dinner with my parents? |
Oh yes!
You don't really think that I want to impress them, did you? |
Well, the tiara says otherwise.
You don't look the type to fly spaceships. |
It's easier than it looks.
Didn't I meet you in college? |
Um no... some of us went to a University.
Why do people keep thinking they know me from somewhere? |
Could be that wanted poster at the post office....
Did you do the laundry? |
The laundry becomes trash and I buy new fucking clothes whore!
How 'bout getting those roast beef meat curtains bleached? |
Not until Monday.
Anyway, you'll be coming over this week-end to suck on the thing as usual, right? |
Well, sure, I've been drooling since the last time you bit me.
Are you mad? |
(loading shotgun) Me, mad? When have you ever known me to be #$%& MAD?!
Did that hurt? |
Yeah it hurt because it was done in such distasteful fashion that I doubled over and groaned from its mediocrity.
|
Which pill do YOU want?
Can I have another? |
Sure...take 3 while you're at...no reason to be a nice, sharing person who would leave some for others.
How was your weekend? |
How was your weekend?
|
All the worse for seeing you.
Where were YOU yesterday? |
shit, i was yesterday
how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? |
How many do you think?!
I got my tootsie pop, but where did you put yours? |
Yo moma's house, foo.
Who drank my 40? |
I might've - I forget.
I think I missed my bus. |
Must have been the short bus...
Speaking of buses, who here likes pie? |
Where you going to offer the cocoanut cream pie that was in the fridge? Cuz I gave that to the homeless guy on the street corner.
Who moved my cheese? |
The one with the wind up his bum.
Anyway, didn't you say that you'd given up on Lindburger? |
I did, but the withdrawl symtoms aren't worth it.
Is this all there is to eat? |
Until you cook more, yes (tada, I actually came up with something smart-alec-y)
What's for dinner? |
Nothing, now go to your room!
When did you last wash your car? |
i washed my car all over your mom's face
so what, wanna fight about it? |
Yes. Just let me finish eating my sandwich.
Cripes! A challenge! The last time we confronted, you ran off crying. Are you going to run away again this time or have you been going to night classes in martial arts? |
I don't need them because people regard me as virtually harmless.
Are you going to eat that? |
No, I'm waiting to see if it grows.
What are you looking at? |
That's exactly what I'd like to know.
What's that growing on your face? |
My beard, what else?
What were YOU doing looking at my face in such a naughty way? |
i wanted to pop the LARGE zit that was on your neck, but i realised it was only your head.
you look like you've just been hit by a truck...what happened? |
I got ran over by a bus.
Did anyone get its number? |
No, but it wrote its address down for me in case I wanted to stop by.
Why, you need a date? (Hope I did that right) |
Not that badly.
Is that a wart on your nose? |
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