It's the witty/sarcastic comeback GAME
 

Is your sarcasm underapreciated?

Your wit to sharp for the witless?

Loved ones don't realize that you were only kidding around?

Then this is the place for you!

Here's the rules: look at the previous poster's question, and then post a witty or sarcastic reply to it, then type up a short question for the next poster. Smileys are optional.

Example:

Why didn't you come to work yesterday?

I was feeling disgruntled that day.

Where have you been all night?

Having an affair.


Why did you buy the expensive orange juice?

Cuz they ran out of the cheap stuff I like.

What's for dinner tonight?

depends on what you plan on making....

who called?

Tell Kieth Moon "Hi" for me.

What the fuck is all over your face?

Your beloved's juices.

Can you feel your toes?

Only if I feel like bending over and grabbing them..

What the hell is all over your shirt?

Chalk


What did you think it was?

You don't want to go there.


What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?

I'm not sure, the lab is supposed to be calling any minute to tell me.

Did you eat all the chips?

No, I liberated them from their plastic prison and set them free. I hope they survive in the wild.

When are you leaving to work today?

Depends on how soon you get out of my office.

Did you MEAN to do that to your hair?

Yea, it does look sort of weird. Now I'm starting to think that the toddler who cut my hair lied about being a world class hairdresser.

What are you doing here?

i'm here for the intervention

why did you wake me up?

If we are to be frank, I thought breaking into my house for a nap was rude.

Have you seen my toothbrush?

yeah, i just put it back...... you might want to pick the pubes off before you use it again

did you tell your sister thanks for me?

Yeah and she said her doctor wants to see you about the rash you gave her.

Do you have any more superglue?

That depends, what does superglue taste like? If it tastes like burning, you're out of luck.

Is there anything on tv?

Only the cat.




How did he die?

sorry, i was drunk, the cat was there, i had already taken the viagra.............


how much is it?

More than you can grow on your money tree out back this season.

I drank WHAT?

Sorry about that, guess I should have told you that those bottles of lipton iced tea are really filled with dishwashing liquid. It's a hobby of mine.

Is that my shirt?

No its MY shirt until its washed again, and keep your fingers out of my panty drawer!


Ok, where did I leave my keys?

aqui estan pinches llaves


what did i say?

¿qué, parezco un traductor?


Who used the penis stretcher last?

An intruder.

Where do you keep that thing, anyway?

As a spare leg on the coffee table.

Could you carry a tune?

Very well, actually. :)

But you wouldn't know the difference, would you? :orly:

No more than you would know gourmet from McDonalds.....


Did you pick up the kids from school?

nah, the lazy fuckers can walk the 8 miles home themselves

who do you work for?

Whoever is willing to sign the biggest paycheck


what is that smell?

your upper lip


is this the mens room?

It better be...or else I left an awful mess for somebody to clean up.

Did you read all these books?

No I just like the way they look all lined up like that on the shelves


You aren't really going to eat that are you?

no, i'm just gonna hide it in my stomach for awhile

why don't you just shut up

You're the one making all the noise.

are you really wearing that today?

No, I'm actually going to wear it yesterday; I built a time machine and am going into the past.

So can I ask you something?

Um yeah, one per customer - you just asked your one.


What did the cleaning lady do to this table?

looks like she cleaned it...with her bare ass.



why are you looking at me in that tone of voice?

Because I have a mouth where my eyes should be.

Do you want to grab a bite to eat?