|
I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up in the Freezer.
Do you have any real sugar, or just the artificial crap. |
To get down and dirty one needs the real thing. Artificial just isnt as satisfying.
How does one silver the back of a mirror? |
Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.
Did you cause the problem, you discombobulated bobblehead? |
I was not the problem...but you're gonna see how quickly I can be the solution.
Is that really necessary, or are you just lookin' for sympathy? |
Hug me and i'll tell you.
Who really let the dogs out? |
I don't know who let the dogs out, but you're gettin' 'em back in!
Was that really the best you could muster? |
Oh, I can do much better, but it really isn't worth the time.
So who died and made you god? |
paddy fucking joe did!!!!!!!!!!
do these pants make my ass look big? |
No, but they do prevent you from being mistaken for sasquatch.
Don't you think that pilsner is an overrated type of beer? |
You know how it is with beer, the more you drink, the better it gets.
Did you hear my cell phone ring just now? |
Quote:
I didn't mess up my hair doing that just now, did I? |
Quote:
That didnt hurt did it? |
no but it impaired by judgement enough for that one night stand
by the way how is your long lost father? |
He's not lost anymore. The FBI found the body.
I wish my car wasn't compared to a rollerskate. |
I wish you had a different car, too.
What happened to the ringing in my ears? |
She'll be back.
How much for the nickle? |
gimme a dime and we'll be even... :)
make the freakin' rain go away... |
poof...there...now I've turned it into snow, sleet, and ice for you
What is sex like? |
With your mom? - Boring, she's not as tight as your dad.
Am I just supposed to lie down and wait? |
no, you're suppose to wait on your knees...til the sheep come home.
What's that little thing there? __________________ |
Where?
Oh, I thought you were talking to me. |
No, I was talking above you.
How much wood? |
could a woodchuck chuck... zero, he could chuck ZERO wood.
is it me or is it just hot in here? |
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