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Old 11-28-2004, 04:42 PM   #121 (permalink)
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Never going to happen for me. I don't think I will be able to look myself in the mirror and live with myself the next day. I also have not had enough of going down on women yet to want to experiment on men. No giving, no receiving.

For those of you who will do it, someone once told me : "You do get twice the opportunities for sex on weekends"
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Old 11-28-2004, 06:28 PM   #122 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Munku
Having sex with someone of the same sex does NOT make you gay or bisexual. The only way you could be gay or bixsexual is if you have feelings that go beyong sex. Feelings that you truly care and want to spend your time with that person.
*nods...

There's really very little about sex that makes a person bi, gay, or straight. It might confirm what you felt, or challenge you about your ideas of idenity. But it can't put ideas in your head, or feelings in your heart.

I was once asked to "prove" that i'm bi, b/c i haven't had a major relationship with a man or fucked around. My answer is that i haven't done much of that with women, either...but i'm pretty damn sure i like them. A relationship (and the sex that may include) is something i do with someone else. Being bi, is something i do all by myself.

And for the question? Most definitely.
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Old 11-29-2004, 01:42 AM   #123 (permalink)
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I would have to be waaaaasted. As in barely conscious.
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Old 11-29-2004, 01:55 AM   #124 (permalink)
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hrmm... ,after careful analysis, I realized I have had urges like that before... But it was only with myself. If there was an exact clone of me... I would give my clone a blowjob. But otherwise, I don't care to give other guys blowjobs...
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Old 12-08-2004, 12:00 PM   #125 (permalink)
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stright guys don't give BJ's. If a guy gives a BJ he is at least BI, and maybe Gay
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Old 12-08-2004, 02:26 PM   #126 (permalink)
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nope. Not me oh no Hell no

nope. Not me oh no Hell no
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Old 12-08-2004, 03:48 PM   #127 (permalink)
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I don't remember my original answer, but I must note that I'd really love to be able to give MYSELF a blowjob. Masturbation taken to a new level.
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Old 12-08-2004, 04:12 PM   #128 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Suave
I don't remember my original answer, but I must note that I'd really love to be able to give MYSELF a blowjob. Masturbation taken to a new level.

I didn't find it that hard to do, but it was really, no , EXTREMELY, weird
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Old 12-08-2004, 04:31 PM   #129 (permalink)
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I guess the whole idea of giving yourself a BJ is somewhat of an odd male fantasy that I've noticed many men I've spoken to about that subject said "yeah, I guess if I could I probably would"

As far as giving another man oral sex, the thought has crossed my mind but I would never do it.

Last edited by RallyEX; 12-09-2004 at 04:29 PM..
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Old 12-08-2004, 04:32 PM   #130 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by funkeodor
I didn't find it that hard to do, but it was really, no , EXTREMELY, weird
I'm not very flexible, and I'm only "average" down there.
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Old 12-08-2004, 05:33 PM   #131 (permalink)
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Yes, if I could give myself a bj, that would be great. That would removes all the hesitation. Unfortunelitely, I don't cloning for sex play is quite there yet.
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Old 12-08-2004, 07:02 PM   #132 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Val_1
Yes, if I could give myself a bj, that would be great. That would removes all the hesitation. Unfortunelitely, I don't cloning for sex play is quite there yet.
I think if you do enough yoga you'll be able to eventually.
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Old 12-08-2004, 07:31 PM   #133 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Suave
I think if you do enough yoga you'll be able to eventually.
Quite possibly, but I think a trip to the chiropractor would be in order afterwards for some of us with bad backs...
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Old 12-08-2004, 09:14 PM   #134 (permalink)
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IT'S GOTTA BE WORTH IT! That's my new life quest I think.
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Old 12-09-2004, 07:18 AM   #135 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Suave
IT'S GOTTA BE WORTH IT! That's my new life quest I think.
Eh, I was able to do it a few times back in highschool when I was really flexible from playing sports all the time. Laid on my back, kicked the feet over my head and it just worked out. I think I strained my neck doing it one time and quit trying it.

Its ok, just not all it’s cracked up to be. It's still your own nerves on your own nerves contact (although admittedly warm/wetter )
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Old 12-09-2004, 07:42 AM   #136 (permalink)
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I would rather have a stranger suck me off than do it to myself. I think that's a little weird.
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Old 12-09-2004, 05:21 PM   #137 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by martinguerre
I was once asked to "prove" that i'm bi, b/c i haven't had a major relationship with a man or fucked around. My answer is that i haven't done much of that with women, either...but i'm pretty damn sure i like them. A relationship (and the sex that may include) is something i do with someone else. Being bi, is something i do all by myself.

And for the question? Most definitely.
When people find out that I'm bi and that I've never done anything with either sex, they always say, "How do you know you're bi?" "What if you're just gay?"

I think people have the ability to reason this out, but after 12 years of schooling they want someone else that understands to spoon-feed them. I weep for the future.
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Old 12-10-2004, 07:34 AM   #138 (permalink)
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I always think about it, But could never tell my girlfriend.
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Old 12-10-2004, 08:09 AM   #139 (permalink)
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I have no desire for any dick - mine or otherwise - in my mouth.

/shudder
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Old 12-11-2004, 07:02 AM   #140 (permalink)
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i would have to say that i have been interested in kissing men for a while now. when it comes to blow jobs i have always thought that if have a mmf 3some then i would fondle, maybe even suck... but no ejaculation.. thats where i draw the line.
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Old 12-11-2004, 02:43 PM   #141 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by screamincheetah
Don't think I'd ever really want to do it, but I know I'd give an awesome blowjob... probably for the same reason girls like to be with girls...they know what they're doing.
That's the way I look at it. I think I would be damn good at it, but I have no interest in finding out.
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Old 12-12-2004, 11:27 AM   #142 (permalink)
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nope sorry i would never want or even think about wanting t give a blowjob to another guy, i only girls.
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Old 12-13-2004, 05:49 PM   #143 (permalink)
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Hmmm, I think it's safe to say you're gay. That urge is nowhere in the realm of a straight mans thought capacity. Sorry... Good luck finding out your gig, nothing wrong with it.

Last edited by badcock; 12-14-2004 at 07:04 PM..
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Old 12-14-2004, 09:15 AM   #144 (permalink)
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Since when does doing something once make you anything? There is always so one that feels that they have to throw a label on everyone else, especially when they are compensating for their deficiencies and insecurities. As much as a drag off a joint does not make you a drug addict, sucking a cock doesn’t make you gay. The term revolves around sexual and emotional preference. It’s a life style choice. The short sighted view somehow how is never heard the other way; he’s not gay he fucked a woman once. Ever heard “man is curious by nature” and we all are curious about different things. Some are more socially acceptable than others, but that is a personal choice. Every thing you do has something to do with who you are. Those who point to a single event of personal significance in a lifetime that has no or little effect on society as a whole is wrong to condemn a person for straying from their personal beliefs. The bottom line is what do you want and does it affect those around me? Does a wife or girlfriend have an opinion? That’s your question.

Your answer lies in yourself and those closest to you that may know of your choice. Whatever you do be true to yourself, it’s all that matters. “Yourself” usually doesn’t mean just you either it involves those close to you. Your choice will tell you a lot about yourself but it won’t define what you are. It’s a sexual act not a life defining moment unless you make it that. My wife and I had a few threesome with my best friend and another with her best friend, it didn’t change who we were. We have kids and to everyone we are the typical family except to those we shared those moments with. Neither I or my wife is gay, we just tried something different and fulfilled a fantasy.
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Old 12-14-2004, 11:49 AM   #145 (permalink)
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I have to agree with Met on this subject. Wanting to suck another guy's cock is something you do or don't entertain, not a definition of who you are as a person (Unless you choose it to be).

I'm a married, (self-defined) heterosexual guy, but I can fully admit that I like looking at the cocks as much as the pussies and boobies when I watch porn.
I fall in the "I've-fantasized-about-it-and-would-do-it-but-can't-imagine-a-scenario-in-my-life-where-it-would-come-up" camp. If it did, I doubt I would make it a habit. I'd just like to see what it was like--purely sexual, no attachment or extra emotion. I would definitely have to know and trust the guy--no strangers.
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Old 12-14-2004, 02:36 PM   #146 (permalink)
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One can make as much excuses as one pleases, but the simple fact is, if you decide to pleasure a member of the same sex orally, you are either gay or bi. If you feel the need to use excuses for yourself and not consider yourself gay or bi, fine, but don't try and say sucking another guys’ dick doesn't make you one or the other, because it does.

Judging by your philosophy, I could go in the street and shoot some random guy in the face and not be considered a murderer because I only did it once.
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Old 12-14-2004, 03:15 PM   #147 (permalink)
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It's come up and been mentioned a couple of times but unless my partner especially wanted me to then I wouldn't really have any desire to do it myself. It wouldn't do anything for me so I wouldn't do anything to instigate it.

(I think it's closer to food choice than violent crimes. If someone murders someone they are immediately a murderer, whether they liked it or never did it again. The act makes them a murderer forever. But if you're a vegetarian and you try meat once and decide you don't like it and never do it again then most people would agree you're still a vegetarian, perhaps not a very disciplined one. But what to call those 'vegetarians' who eat chicken and fish, and a steak every now and then? I don't know...)
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Old 12-14-2004, 04:00 PM   #148 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rdr4evr
Judging by your philosophy, I could go in the street and shoot some random guy in the face and not be considered a murderer because I only did it once.
Even you have to admit that you've made an absurd analogy. But it sheds an interesting light on what you feel is an appropriate comparison to one guy sucking another guy's cock.

From my point of view, this is more apt: You have a friend who doesn't eat meat. He doesn't make a big deal about it, doesn't run around proclaiming himself a vegetarian, but appears to be one from every outside perspective. One day the two of you are at a Raiders game and he eats a chili dog because he wants to try one. The next day, he goes right back to his seemingly vegetarian diet.

1) How does this change anything about him as a person?

2) Why should you care what he eats? He's not making you eat it.

3) Does eating an occasional chili-dog change the fact that he prefers veggies?

4) Why are you so adamant about defining your friend based on what he is putting in his mouth?

If you want to use your analogy, then go with this: Just because you kill someone doesn't mean you're a "murderer." Cops kill people, guys in the military kill people. Those guys are generally considered heroes. Ultimately, the definition is based on a lot more than someone's actions.

//edit--my apology to the post directly beneath mine--I didn't see your analogy before I posted mine, but it seems we had the same idea.
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Old 12-14-2004, 07:07 PM   #149 (permalink)
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I presented an absurd analogy purposely to prove my point. You can't say one analogy is appropriate whereas the other is absurd. If one is immediately considered a murderer for killing someone just once, one should also be considered gay or bi if they orally pleasure the same sex once.

Now if the case was the one you mentioned:

1) It changes the fact that he went against his own beliefs, therefore making him a fake.

2) I couldn't care less what he eats, but if he proclaims to be a vegetarian and tries a chili dog, he is not being true to himself.

3) It doesn't change the fact that he prefers veggies over meat, but it changes the fact that he calls himself a vegetarian when he is clearly not exclusive to veggies.

4) I would be defining what I see, but either way it wouldn't make a difference to me, but I call them like I see them.

The people you mention that most consider "heroes" does not mean they are, if one followed society’s definition of “hero”, one can not think for themselves to begin with. I personally don't consider either of them "heroes", but that is for a whole other thread.

What this argument comes down to are facts, and you can’t argue facts, but you can make excuses. Being subjective doesn’t change the fact that one committed a gay action.
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Old 12-14-2004, 08:34 PM   #150 (permalink)
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I let people consider their own sexuality. Sorry to offend you, but if a straight male wants to have sex with another male, but still says he's straight - I'd be willing to give him a "straight award" or something.

I, like some others, am a male who has thought about giving oral to another male. I thought it would be gross, but then I tried it on my girlfriend's vibrator and it wasn't that bad. I would even consider doing it with one guy in particular, if it weren't for that whole commitment thing with someone else.
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Old 12-15-2004, 10:43 AM   #151 (permalink)
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First of all, your murder analogy was absurd. Murder is a crime against humanity, outlawed in virtually every society. Giving a guy a blow job, while illegal in some places, is not even remotely on par with ending someone's life.

Second, if you read my analogy a bit more closely you'll see that I specifically stated that your Raider-loving friend did not consider himself a vegetarian, ergo, he could not be going against "his beliefs."

Third, what is a gay action? Is there a reference manual passed out by "society" that I forgot to pick up? Is an action born gay or does it choose to be that way?

Fourth, you're being duplicitous. On the one hand you present the "facts" of actions equalling reality while ridiculing my subjectivity:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rdr4evr
What this argument comes down to are facts, and you can’t argue facts, but you can make excuses. Being subjective doesn’t change the fact that one committed a gay action.
But then choose to be completely subjective about this notion:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rdr4evr
The people you mention that most consider "heroes" does not mean they are, if one followed society’s definition of “hero”, one can not think for themselves to begin with. I personally don't consider either of them "heroes", but that is for a whole other thread.
If you want to go this route, that's fine with me because you're making my point for me. Either you believe actions define an individual (your original point) or you believe people self-define. But you can't have it both ways and still have a valid argument.
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Old 12-15-2004, 12:17 PM   #152 (permalink)
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If we both choose to "self define" actions and/or words, than our entire argument is void. Obviously both you and I have different meanings of the same word, therefore we can continue this for four more pages and we will not get very far.

I never conclude my beliefs based on societies views, as you obviously do not either, therefore it all comes down to opinion, and in mine, one is gay if one has sexual relations with a member of the same gender, whether just once or on a regular basis.
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Old 12-15-2004, 12:50 PM   #153 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rdr4evr
If we both choose to "self define" actions and/or words, than our entire argument is void. Obviously both you and I have different meanings of the same word, therefore we can continue this for four more pages and we will not get very far.

I never conclude my beliefs based on societies views, as you obviously do not either, therefore it all comes down to opinion, and in mine, one is gay if one has sexual relations with a member of the same gender, whether just once or on a regular basis.
Well, I'd like to believe you, but...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rdr4evr
What this argument comes down to are facts, and you can’t argue facts, but you can make excuses. Being subjective doesn’t change the fact that one committed a gay action.
and
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rdr4evr
One can make as much excuses as one pleases, but the simple fact is, if you decide to pleasure a member of the same sex orally, you are either gay or bi. If you feel the need to use excuses for yourself and not consider yourself gay or bi, fine, but don't try and say sucking another guys’ dick doesn't make you one or the other, because it does.
...suggest you're not at all open to self-definition or a person having an opinion about their sexuality that differs from "society."

I'm all for you agreeing with my point of view or for completely disagreeing with me and holding your own opinion that any guy that wants to suck a cock is really bi or gay (which was your original assertion). But don't by duplicitous and say we're both right when your own argument suggests you don't agree with me!

I'm not trying to carry this on for four more pages and continue to deviate from the topic at hand, but, as you say in one of your posts, I'm calling it like I see it.
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Old 12-15-2004, 03:28 PM   #154 (permalink)
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"bi" and "gay" are socially defined constructs that didn't even exist for most of history. If a guy feels like sucking cock today but doesn't next week has his sexuality changed? Or do the stereotypes make a lot of assumptions that may or may not be true?

I would stick with "he's straight if he thinks he is".
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Old 12-15-2004, 04:36 PM   #155 (permalink)
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Well, DaDictionaryBoy, those are my facts, so I'm not agreeing with you. My definition of gay just happens to fall in line with societies definition of gay, whereas, for example, my definition of hero differs greatly from that of societies.

I am still sticking to my original argument that sucking dick makes you bi/gay and I still don't agree with you on the subject of homosexuality, but I do agree with you that we may self define certain actions/words.

So in conclusion, I'm right and you're wrong (how’s that for an argument )
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Old 12-15-2004, 05:05 PM   #156 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rdr4evr
Well, DaDictionaryBoy, those are my facts, so I'm not agreeing with you. My definition of gay just happens to fall in line with societies definition of gay, whereas, for example, my definition of hero differs greatly from that of societies.

I am still sticking to my original argument that sucking dick makes you bi/gay and I still don't agree with you on the subject of homosexuality, but I do agree with you that we may self define certain actions/words.

So in conclusion, I'm right and you're wrong (how’s that for an argument )
I'm glad you've come full circle and embraced your original assertion. So tell me something: how can something be "your" facts and not someone elses given that a fact is literally a "truth" and truth is indesputable?

And what exactly is "Societies" definition of gay that so jives with yours? This message board is definitely a microcosm of our "society." I would assert that at least half of the folks on this thread who have voiced an opinion about whether a guy blowing another guy one time makes him gay in perpetuity have agreed, in principle, with my point of view, not yours. Sure, lots of people have posted to say they wouldn't choose to do it--I've even said I can't imagine a scenario where it would happen for me. But that's not the same as you and "society" defining a person as this or that because they choose to try something. So yours is not really a very compelling argument.

Perhaps it's worth a vote?
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Old 12-15-2004, 07:30 PM   #157 (permalink)
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You just don't give up, do you? If you want to conduct a poll, be my guest, more people would be honest given the fact that a poll is anomyous.

As for my statement about it being facts, you are right, I'm sorry, I should've said my belief/opinion instead.

And you say that more people in this thread agree with you, therefore your definition would be the one more in line with society, correct? So I am the only one self-defining?

What were we arguing about again?

EDIT: I typed more but felt it will degrade to flames.......I will leave my opinion as is and let this thread move back to topic......if you wan't to start a new one though, I would be the first to reply

Although if you wish to continue this, please PM me so at least we wont hijack this thread any further.

Last edited by Rdr4evr; 12-15-2004 at 08:37 PM..
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Old 12-17-2004, 12:00 PM   #158 (permalink)
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Nah, I'm good. My beef was with your use of "fact." I'm glad you are keeping your opinion and I look forward to more spirited discussion with you.

As a last word, from me on the subject of our debate:

I reviewed writings by Masters & Johnson, Nancy Friday, Sheri Hite, and Alex Comfort--all folks who get paid to think about this very subject. And they can't agree on a definition amongst themselves. They range from Nancy Friday stating in Men in Love that (paraphrase) if straight men want to think or act in a homosexual way, who is she to say they are not straight; Alex Comfort stating that he believes all people are bisexual (to a greater or lesser degree), in The New Joy of Sex; Masters & Johnson stating in Heterosexuality that men and women are all a certain percentage heterosexual and a certain percentage homosexual--with truely bisexual folks being a 50/50 mix in sexual attraction and action. Hell, even Freud figured that, given the right circumstance, any of us would jump on anything we thought we could get it on with.

Certainly not a definitive or exhaustive survey of the subject, but I thought it interesting.
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