nanofever

Lyrics to "I want to pee on you" an R. Kelly parody by Dave Chappelle.

"The only thing that will make my life complete
is to turn your face into a toilet seat.
I want to PEE ON YOU, yes I do...
Yes I do, I'll pee on you,

Haters wanna hate,
Lovers wanna love,
I dont even want,
none of the above,
I want to piss on you,

Yes I do, I'll pee on you, Before you stop, I'm going to fart,
I'm going to fart on you."

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I'm leaving for the University of California: Santa Barbara in 5 hours, give me your best college advice - things I need, good ideas, bad ideas, nooky, ect.

Originally Posted by Norseman on another forum:
"Yeah, the problem with the world is the stupid people are all cocksure of themselves and the intellectuals are full of doubt."

Dixie_Wrekked

im sorry but all that pee and scat stuff is just plain nasty, i know some people are into that stuff but not me

Dixie_Wrekked

oh yea and that chappelle song is just flat out hilarious

cait987

Anyone else want to nominate this thread to be stickied and get a badge for the best thread ever?

89transam

22 days

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I'd rather be rich than stupid.

pules

this post is soo funny to me. It's like a scene out of that movie, not another teen movie.

I've been dating my gf for a good 5 years now, this question always comes up. She still does not allow me to pee on her. (hehe, I'm just playing, I would never pee on her)

But I do gotta say I agree with you. If your dating someone and you both want the same thing, why wait for it? on the flip side, if you're new to the game, waiting is the best thing. You need time to "grow" and learn.

I say from the start, set the expectitions, just like a business deal

OzOz

Let's see - I probably did it in my first few months of life, but I would neither be game enough to suggest it, or even remotely inclined to, now. It's just not something that's on my 'to do' list.

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Maybe you should put some shorts on or something, if you wanna keep fighting evil today.

RenaissanceII

'caint help myself...

"... and may all of your showers be Golden."

thank you, Gary Burbank.

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And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Anais Nin


I Wish You Well.

lucidity

I have to state the obvious here. Why not seek out women who are into that type of fetish? Some girls I bet just may beg for you to pee on em within minutes. With some 'vanilla' women, though... consider yourself lucky if you could even broach the topic alone within a lifetime.

the420star

this thread is crazy... who wants to pee on there GF... and really... i agree this is so not a natural progression... and to be honest... could you really respect her after she let you pee on her?

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No, they arnt breasts, they are personalities, because its ok to like a girl for her personalities.

mattevil

wait a minute! how can you pee with a hardon(i know you can a little but that hurts)?

numist

shower... it gets all over the walls (jet propulsion: ceiling?) but it does empty the tank...

Check that one out in the morning wood thread...

Jephree

Wouldn't even want to find out. Not a fetish for me.

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When's the next good swell in SoCal?

Andy

How could you ever look at anyone seriously again after peeing on them?

In an attempt to answer the original post, I'll suggest that this sort of thing happen with a one-night-stand person.

skier

i think you should try to get to know a girl that enjoys getting peed on already rather than try to get some random girl to accept. Check out some kinky chatrooms for people around your area. Your fetish is obviously in the minority, you'll have to search out like-minded people that enjoy that sort of thing. Good luck on your fantasy.

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"Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim

Averett

I'd like to second the nomination

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Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

bparker805

This seriously has to be one of the funniest but sickest damn threads I have read to date!

John Falcon

I'm still trying to figure out how one accidentally pees on someone in the shower...

macmanmike6100

i think that you need to talk with your girl about it before you come to us asking for a "deadline" of sorts...I cannot imagine the desire to urinate on a girl but am certain that it's very personal and she, obviously, has control of the situation

maxhooters

holy cow i cant belive that someone is asking this question. How long do you think it would take unless you got some freat that is into golden shower. good luck. maybe you should ask this on a frist date and if she is into it then you dont have to wait long on anything else that you asked!

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making four left turns is not a sport!!!!!

bonehed1

I found out yesterday that my ex is into the pee scene. Somehow we got onto the subject and she wants to try it and what not. She asked me to pee in her ass?!?!?!?! I was like WTF

We didn't do the pee thing but I did frik her rotten baby....yeah

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Stuff is Good

bender

Wouldn't it just depend on how tall you are ?

illesturban

hahahaha no shit; when I first heard that I was ROLLIN'! It doesn't have the same effect if you don't see it yourself. I'd suggest trying to download it; well worth it!

KWSN

heh... for all the people who think it's disgusting, that doesn't mean it IS, it means it's not your thing. it is for some people.

to answer the question posed, the answer is 2 weeks and 3 days. always. just do it, she'll understand.

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Your arms are broken!

Parkhurst

My advice is that you wait until she is sleeping and then find out if she likes surprises. Thing is if you ask her about it you may find her saying things like 'ew ew ew ew' as a reaction of the strict moral code those western chicks are repressed with. In effect by taking her by surprise you give her the opportunity to experience the hot smelly sensation before she makes up her mind. Sure she may rant and rave at you, and yes she may well finish with you, but at least you got to pee on her. For a moment though lets be honest, if you really are into that kind of thing and she isn’t, then the relationship’s doomed from the start. You peeing on this girl is more of a suitability filter to allow you to decide whether she is the one for you. I'm sure that if you explain this to her (once your empty of course, everyone hates to stop mid flow) then she will see the wisdom of what you have done.

PS. Don’t do it round your own house because if she dumps you then you have to wash your own sheets, and no one really likes pee.

skier

hahahahahaha this just made my day. thanks bonehed1!

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"Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim

paulie

Myself I'd rather be the reciver then the giver but thats just me one sick little puppy.

Paq

This is about the funniest thing i've read in days. even funnier than some of the arguments people are making for a flat tax..

Seriously, though, great idea, just wake her up by wizzing on her...great idea...the only problem i can see:

1. Nobody likes to stop midflow. It hurts me to do that, especially if it's that first thing in the morning flow that just never seems to end and feels SOOOOO good..
2. Let's say she's not into the whole idea and, for some irrational reason, she gets upset..Now..what is she going to do, calmly say, "Will you please stop peeing on me" or will she simply kick you in the nuts. I believe there is a law saying that if a woman has 2 options, she's probably going to choose the one that causes you the most pain..(maybe it's my law, but it seems to be true) So yeah, chances are, you're gonna get nailed in the groin...and you're going to 1...stop midflow...and 2..cry..

The solution, you ask? Simple..
drink a gallon of water before you lay down to sleep by your darling little, trusting angel. wake up having to piss like a russian race horse..wait a bit longer until it's really hurting...Then..stand about 10 feet away and angle it over to hit her in the ear or something. She'll be more disoriented and won't inadvertantly kick you in the nuts stopping you mid flow. She'll actually have to get up and walk over to you..
an even better solution is to have a guard set up somehow...say the 101st airborne...

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Live.

Chris

bonehed1

Glad you enjoyed that Skier...I sure had a hell of a laugh about it at first then got down to business....

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Stuff is Good

Grondar

I would recommend asking her parents about it first.

I'm sure they would have great feedback, and may even be able to recount their earlier experiences in their relationship where they urinated on each other at will.

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"Yes, I rather like this God fellow. He's very theatrical, you know, a pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence. Gotta get me some of that." -Stewie

Mango

I had a girl pee on me. I was eating her pussy and she just started pissing in my mouth. She didn't even know she was peeing.

bonehed1

ROFL.....that has to be hilarious.....How the hell can you not know you are peeing especially when someone is eating you out. My ex called me up today and said she and her friend got on this topic and they both pee'd on each other in the tub and they had a blast. I can just see 2 short blond chicks splashing pee all over.

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Stuff is Good

Parkhurst

Paq pretty much nails a lot of issues that I hadn't considered here, and devise a great plan of action. Getting kicked in the nuts would certainly hurt, however I'm not convinced that it would stop the flow. Once a...ahem... friend of mine was riding his push bike while stood up on the peddles when I...err he slipped and landed his balls right on the cross bar. After squealing at a pitch that only dogs could hear I...err he crashed the bike. Straight after the urge too pee was so intense that I headed behind a nearby-secluded tree to let what felt like Niagara Falls go. So maybe getting kicked in the nuts might be just what the boy needs to squeeze a few extra drops out.

However if he wants to forego this agony what he could do to test the water is simply pee in a bucket. Then dump the whole acrid liquid on his girlfriend once she nods off. Make sure that you are packed and exit quickly without taking time to get hit or start a discussion. Then, three days later just phone her up and say 'well, did you like it?' From there just play it by ear.

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The unexamined life is not worth living.

Paq

trust me, there is a diff between falling on a cross bar that your ...err..friend...did and getting kicked mid stream..The toe of her foot will nail that area between anus and scrotum that you can press to shut off flow of urine or semen...so you'll probably stop and you'll probably have to have her foot surgically removed from your butt...

Now, i will admit that your bucket idea...that one works. Beautiful, simple and doesn't require exposing yourself to painful encounters...

Perfection

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Live.

Chris

Parkhurst

Yeah I accept what you say about the nuts thing, angry women are far more accurate than crossbars, and that hot spot you mentioned would certainly stall a flow as well as causing great agony. Sometimes it's difficult to remember that inanimate objects are not out to get me.

As an additional thought to the bucket idea I think that Enzomat should consider where such fetishes are heading. If what the authorities say about cannabis leading to heroin are true then surely a golden shower fetish will lead inevitably to and interest and yearning for scat play. Therefore you may wish to consider taking a dump in the bucket and killing two birds with one stone.

BTW Enzomat have you tried any of the ideas here yet, and what sort of success have you had?

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The unexamined life is not worth living.

Averett

Seriously guys, best thread ever!

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Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

Paq

OOoo..Good point....

I'm seeing mexican restaurant night...margaritas and refried beans...

Then relieve yourself in the bucket after the gf goes to sleep..

hmm

Hire some mercenaries for guard duty though to keep her from injuring you if she's not into having a bucket of human excrement dumped over her while she's asleep...Although, i don't know why she would object, but just in case..i mean, you know how fickle women can be...

Try it, lemme know how it turns out

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Live.

Chris

Parkhurst

Paq you are a man of distinction, I was thinking more along the lines of curried sprouts with a dessert of stewed prunes and custard. Copious amounts of red wine also help loosen the flow of such proceedings.

Speaking of drink another direction that Enzomat might consider is getting his girlfriend drunk as all hell so that she doesn't notice him peeing on her. He should then spend the rest of the night asleep on a chair next to the bed so that when she wakes up all bleary eyed and asks what he is doing there he can say 'well you had a little accident last night.'

This way he can get her used to being covered in pee without suffering the blame of messing her up in the first place. The downside of course is that over the months it will cost you a lot in alcohol, and the girlfriend may well decide to watch her drinking habits.

By that time though you can actually alleviate her fears and paranoia by admitting 'actually it turned me on.' She won't be sure if you are just trying to comfort her or serious at this point, but by then she should be more receptive to the idea of pee play anyway.

Tell me about it, what totally irrational creatures they are. I don't think that I will ever be able to figure them out at all.

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The unexamined life is not worth living.

Shyla Loral

Well, I guess we're a bit different. We spent so long online and on the phone together before seeing each other in person, that we did almost everything the first day we met in person.
so: felt tits, like 15 minutes
oral sex:1 hour
vaginal sex:1 hour 30 minutes
anal sex:3 months
peeing on each other:6 months, but only due to embarassment of each other

So we're different, but we draw lines. No one can take a dump on me, heh. That's about the only thing that's a "nono" here. peeing etc. in front of each other, probably immediately. Now that wasn't my idea, but meff has no embarassment. I *never* saw my ex pee or anything, and we were together for 8 years. But mefff doesn't want any doors closed between us, so we do everything out in the open. Except wipe, heh. *that's* private.

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"Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead" Ben Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanac.

Meff r0x

Paq

I dunno what it is

I have a trip to NYC this month to spend with the one person who held my heart, dropped it, picked it back up, cleaned it off and left it w/out much added trauma...So, i get 3-4 free nights in NYC to spend with the chica, i just pay airfare..not too big of a deal..

However, i'm a very private person when it comes to body functions, so i'm not sure how sharing a bathroom is going to work out...seriously it has me worried. we aren't dating, we'll probably be spending some time together in the absence of clothing, she's still a big V, but we do everything else and i know in 4 days time, i'm definitely going to have to use the facilities for more than urination..
Any pointers?

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Live.

Chris