Quote:
Originally posted by Paq
This is about the funniest thing i've read in days. even funnier than some of the arguments people are making for a flat tax..
Seriously, though, great idea, just wake her up by wizzing on her...great idea...the only problem i can see:
1. Nobody likes to stop midflow. It hurts me to do that, especially if it's that first thing in the morning flow that just never seems to end and feels SOOOOO good..
2. Let's say she's not into the whole idea and, for some irrational reason, she gets upset..Now..what is she going to do, calmly say, "Will you please stop peeing on me" or will she simply kick you in the nuts. I believe there is a law saying that if a woman has 2 options, she's probably going to choose the one that causes you the most pain..(maybe it's my law, but it seems to be true) So yeah, chances are, you're gonna get nailed in the groin...and you're going to 1...stop midflow...and 2..cry..
The solution, you ask? Simple..
drink a gallon of water before you lay down to sleep by your darling little, trusting angel. wake up having to piss like a russian race horse..wait a bit longer until it's really hurting...Then..stand about 10 feet away and angle it over to hit her in the ear or something. She'll be more disoriented and won't inadvertantly kick you in the nuts stopping you mid flow. She'll actually have to get up and walk over to you..
an even better solution is to have a guard set up somehow...say the 101st airborne...
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Paq pretty much nails a lot of issues that I hadn't considered here, and devise a great plan of action. Getting kicked in the nuts would certainly hurt, however I'm not convinced that it would stop the flow. Once a...ahem... friend of mine was riding his push bike while stood up on the peddles when I...err he slipped and landed his balls right on the cross bar. After squealing at a pitch that only dogs could hear I...err he crashed the bike. Straight after the urge too pee was so intense that I headed behind a nearby-secluded tree to let what felt like Niagara Falls go. So maybe getting kicked in the nuts might be just what the boy needs to squeeze a few extra drops out.
However if he wants to forego this agony what he could do to test the water is simply pee in a bucket. Then dump the whole acrid liquid on his girlfriend once she nods off. Make sure that you are packed and exit quickly without taking time to get hit or start a discussion. Then, three days later just phone her up and say 'well, did you like it?' From there just play it by ear.