Quote:
Originally posted by Parkhurst
My advice is that you wait until she is sleeping and then find out if she likes surprises. Thing is if you ask her about it you may find her saying things like 'ew ew ew ew' as a reaction of the strict moral code those western chicks are repressed with. In effect by taking her by surprise you give her the opportunity to experience the hot smelly sensation before she makes up her mind. Sure she may rant and rave at you, and yes she may well finish with you, but at least you got to pee on her. For a moment though lets be honest, if you really are into that kind of thing and she isn’t, then the relationship’s doomed from the start. You peeing on this girl is more of a suitability filter to allow you to decide whether she is the one for you. I'm sure that if you explain this to her (once your empty of course, everyone hates to stop mid flow) then she will see the wisdom of what you have done.
PS. Don’t do it round your own house because if she dumps you then you have to wash your own sheets, and no one really likes pee.
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This is about the funniest thing i've read in days. even funnier than some of the arguments people are making for a flat tax..
Seriously, though, great idea, just wake her up by wizzing on her...great idea...the only problem i can see:
1. Nobody likes to stop midflow. It hurts me to do that, especially if it's that first thing in the morning flow that just never seems to end and feels SOOOOO good..
2. Let's say she's not into the whole idea and, for some irrational reason, she gets upset..Now..what is she going to do, calmly say, "Will you please stop peeing on me" or will she simply kick you in the nuts. I believe there is a law saying that if a woman has 2 options, she's probably going to choose the one that causes you the most pain..(maybe it's my law, but it seems to be true) So yeah, chances are, you're gonna get nailed in the groin...and you're going to 1...stop midflow...and 2..cry..
The solution, you ask? Simple..
drink a gallon of water before you lay down to sleep by your darling little, trusting angel. wake up having to piss like a russian race horse..wait a bit longer until it's really hurting...Then..stand about 10 feet away and angle it over to hit her in the ear or something. She'll be more disoriented and won't inadvertantly kick you in the nuts stopping you mid flow. She'll actually have to get up and walk over to you..
an even better solution is to have a guard set up somehow...say the 101st airborne...