hobo

Well, I've only asked out one girl before, and it was extra awkward and resulted in a rejection. I can't help but think that the way that you ask someone else is also an important factor for the outcome. So I come here to ask you all, what little things, or big things, should I do when I ask someone out?

I think that because I've done it once before now, I won't be so nervous the next time. There is a girl that I intend on asking out in maybe a few months but I'd let to do it right this time. Even if she says no, I want to know that atleast my delivery was good. If I have a good delivery, it should increases my chances, which is good.

Thanks in advance for any advice.

Averett

Be confident.

And why wait?

__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

grouchie

yeah, why wait?

just go into it with the attitude that she is going to say yes.

personally i'm a pussy whenit comes to such things, won't ask until i know i'm guarantee'd a yes....
but, don't follow my example, you won't get far in life.

Adjust the sac, puff out your chest and go for it

kwIII

Some pointers for some of us apprehensive people would be nice. This one girl I work with keeps on flirting with me and I still can't get up the nerve to ask her on a date. The thing is she is 5 years younger than me (she is 21, me 26) and I am not sure if she is just playing around.
Here are some things she has said to me:
1) "I want you for christmas naked in a stocking"
2) " You make me horny"

The only problem is alot of these things are kinda tounge in cheek. She has also asked for my # but like a dumbass I didn't get hers. Every girl I have dated has asked me out, I am so dense when it comes to women and flirting. I need to get my tail out from inbetween my legs and just go for it. I have had one REALLY good chance to ask her when she asked me what I was doing one night, but my sister was in town and I needed to spend time with her. Sorry for the long post I am just a little frustrated.

xpendable

kwlll with a line like " i want you for chistmas naked in a stocking" i'd say she wants you. Just go for it !! and don't worry about the age thing, its just a number. The only thing you should think about is how it might affect the work area after. Trust me, it sucks when things go bad and you have too keep seeing her at work, and still wish you could sleep with her, but she's with someone else. That really sucks. (but i say go for it anyway )

kwIII

Yeah, the work thing is one of the main reasons I am holding back. Especially in I situation like you said, or if I got rejected having to deal with the awkwardness of having to work with her.

Vaultboy

Stepping to a complete stranger is extra awkward and damn unerving, but there are tips. These tips look rather retarded, and its stuff you know, but I've found that reading stuff like this actually affirms its validity and makes one more sure that it works. And it does. I can attest to this personally.

Tips:

1. Walk up to her, make eye contact and introduce yourself.
2. Pay her a non-sexual compliment. Something neutral like she has a beautiful smile. Do not mention tits, ass, legs, or even vague comments like "you look really nice." Dont make her feel like food.
3. Note the awkwardness of the situation, and ask her name. tell her that you know this strange/awkward (avoid words like "weird", "freaky" etc.) but you would like to know her name. And smile. Look friendly. If she gives it, yay.
4. Then state your purpose. You want her number? ask for it. You want coffe and conversation? ask for it. But be polite and offer her an out. dont make her feel like she's cornered. If you ask her out right off the bat, she would have to have at least seen you before though (even though she does not know you). Otherwise, stick to asking her number. You can phone her up then.

When you do phone, ask if its okay to phone. Yes, she gave her number, but it does not neccesarily mean she's interested. Trust me. Women are illogical. You are doing four things when you do this:
1. You're showing your interest/ you're being honest
2. You're noting that your first meeting was a bit pressured.
3. You're being polite.
4. you're offering her an out.

All of which serves to disarm her. If she gates you and says no, move on to somebody else. She's not interested, and no amount of stalking will fix that.

__________________
"Failing tastes of bile and dog vomit. Pity any man that gets used to that taste."

Nazggul

Hobo, definitely don't wait. You will likely regret it if you do. She might have two relationships between now and a few months. I am quite the shy person myself so I know what it's like. But really, you need to step up to the plate and there is no time like the present. Lastly, DO NOT take rejection personally, it happens/ed to all of us at some point.

__________________
"If something has to give then it always will."

-- Editors

wry1

To be honest, just walk up and introduce yourself...or, if she already knows you, then walk up and ask her out.

Currently, you don't have a date with this girl, right? If she says "no", then you still don't have a date with this girl. What have you lost? Nothing!

Besides, I'm betting she'll say "yes".

Seaver

Easy, this is a 50/50 if she's joking or serious. All you need to do is play it off like it was a joke and you're in the clear. Say something like "I got one in the car, but I was saving it for later." If she was joking she'll laugh and keep her distance, if she was serious she'd laugh and make some sort of physical contact, usually she'll touch your arm.

Same as above, treat it as if it was a joke. Whatever you do dont freeze up.

This woman is TRYING REALLY HARD to get your attention. Do exactly what was said above, the biggest thing is Eye Contact. To women this is the window to the soul, and adds to your sincerity when you pay her compliments, and it shows you as more confident than you really are, and we all know confidence is the #1 thing that turns on women.

MSD

Response: "I can do better than that if you want to give me a chance"

chrisg299

lol! ima member that one

Minx

Be honest, be yourself, be friendly! Be confident....you really have nothing to lose, right?
Smile and yes...eye contact is a very good thing when it comes to the fairer sex.

__________________
You've been a naughty boy....go to my room!

hobo

Thanks for the responses. I know waiting a few months is lame, and it does have to do with me being a wuss when it comes to this stuff, but there is also another reason. I'm going on Accutane for a second time and when what is left of my acne (minor on face, but there is some on back and chest that people don't know about) goes away I am a much more confident person and will be less likely to screw up. I'll be sure to make a lot of eye contact and talk to her more though in order to maintain a level of interest that she should catch on to.

rufgti

Being an ugly dude, I can offer this advice:

1-Confidence: Approach a girl almost like you aren't interested, but don't be aloof. Always smile and have an easy manner about you.

2-Intellence: Don't be a dumbass. Always ask about her and listen, listen, listen. They give you the keys through what they say and don't say. Also, it's important to have your own opinions but don't make it seem like you are unswayable--ideals are important too.

3-Humour: Again, don't be a dumbass. Be funny without being overt.

4-Hygiene: 'nuff said.

5-Be genuine: If you like her, say so. If you find her funny, say so. Don't bullshit (they have a knack of seeing thru that, unless you are one super hunky dude).

6-Ask her out....

__________________
Sometimes, you gotta say no to a stripper....

spliffy

hmm that made for some interesting and educational reading now lets see if i got the balls to put it into action thanx for askin that question hobo and thanx all for all the answers u gave

hobo

rufgti, that all sounds right. Thanks. I do make a point of listening to what girls have to say because they seem to like it when you remember stuff about them.

Seaver

Dude, dont worry about the acne on your chest/back. By the time it gets to that she wont care, trust me. From what it sounds like you're not exactly fabio, but dont worry, not all women are so shallow.

Constantly ask questions about her, be sincere, and look her in the eyes when you talk. These are the 3 main things that matter the most.

Your confidence may be lacking, but the great thing about confidence is it can be faked until it shows up. I know it sounds weird, just make sure you walk upright, look people in the eyes when you talk to them, and dont always back down at the slightest encounter. The dangerous part here is fake-confidence often turns into arrogance, and no one likes an arrogant prick. Use your intelligence, stand upright, and relax.

Nothing we can tell you will have any affect until you heed the advice and jump into the deep end. Go for it, the worst that can happen is you dont end up with her phone number, which will happen anyways if you dont try.

You miss 100% of the shots you dont take.

skysooner

Just don't take rejection personally. I did this all the time when I was younger. I would equate a no as there was something wrong with me. Maybe I wasn't her physical type, etc. You never really know what is going to attract someone to you. It is just best to be confident and not to worry too much if you get a no. I would focus on one particular girl to the point where if I was rejected, I took it badly. In the meantime I would totally miss the vibe from other girls who did want to go out with me because I was so focused in another direction. Some girls will take charge of the situation but many will not. They prefer to put out subtle signals and let you make the first move.

Seaver

I'm a very attractive and confident guy (heh just got to take it on faith, I know there are very few attractive CS majors out there). I still get turned down about 60% of the time.

As sooner said, it's not personal, there are thousands of reasons why she may say no. Boyfriend, she doesnt like brown hair, she has a urinary tract infection... there's thousands of reasons why she may say no.

But there's only one reason why she may say yes, because she likes YOU.

ir3fatabbot

just move on there are other girls to ask out

The.Lunatic

well..

girls want guys too, so if she's in your league, and not presently involved with someone else, i'd say you have a 95% chance of getting her to go out with you. Unless you just act like a total idiot

then again you don't have to be mr. suave

Initiating the conversation is half the battle, there are lots of cheesy ways guys have thought of to start a conversation
a suprising amount of them WORK, if your modest about it afterward. So if this is a girl you already talk to your In say you had a little crush on her for sometime now, and want to start dating again and ask if she'd like to go for a walk or dinner just to get to know you a little better.

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Proud memeber of the Insomniac Club.

kwIII

Thanks for the responses guys, I worked with her today and still didn't get the knads yet to ask her out. I am still not quite sure whether she is just messing around or serious, I am trying my best to feel this one out with her being my co-worker and all. I do not want to create an awkward situation here. She did notice that I was having a bad day today, I am usually a pretty easy going guy and she came up and gave me a hug, I took my arms away and she said I am not done hugging you yet, so I gave her a bear hug and put my head on hers. She said she hated to see me down, and it made her unhappy too to see me this way. Man, I really like this girl, I wish more women could be like her. She is very attractive, funny as hell, and a sweetheart. This is killing me.

Seaver

Dude... ask her out NOW.

She initiated the "sexual" talk.
She crossed the contact barrier.
She didnt want to let you go during the hug.
She expressed verbally she cares about you.

What do you want her to do, write "KISS ME" on her breasts and flash you? though... that would definately be cool.

Just tell her the truth. You're a very shy guy and you dont do this often, but would she like to get some coffee tomarrow. Simple, to the point, and sincere.

__________________
"Smite the rocks with the rod of knowledge, and fountains of unstinted wealth will gush forth." - Ashbel Smith as he laid the first cornerstone of the University of Texas

kwIII

I am holding out for her flashing me j/k. Yeah, I am only shy when it comes to this stuff. I am trying to feel it out and at the same time work up the courage to ask this chick. I am still not quite sure if she is just playing around. Trust me, I have had women do this and have no interest.

SVT01Cobra

Or perhaps you just THOUGHT they had no interest, or they got tired of waiting?