How to get mind off ex-girlfriend? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Jesus Pimp · 11-18-2003, 05:38 AM

I just recently broke up with my girlfriend of 2.5 years. At first I was indifferent to the whole breakup but as time moves on the reality of the breakup is settling in and it hurts. I can't stop thinking about her. No matter how busy I try to keep myself or hang out with my friends, it's ripping me apart. Any advice on how to get my mind off of her and move on?

JStrider · 11-18-2003, 07:26 AM

how long ago did yall break up?
ive heard its something like 1 month recovery for every 6 months you were together... but it could be longer... or shorter...

its normal for there to be a period where your depressed and think about her a lot... just try to do something you enjoy... and throw yourself into your school/work/whatever...
try not to see her... itll just reopen the wounds...
the big thing is time...

Jesus Pimp · 11-18-2003, 07:34 AM

We broke up last month. We were together for 2.5 years.

Bloodslick · 11-18-2003, 07:34 AM

Listen to angry music. Don't listen to pop. Pop is all about being with another person or having one's heart broken. Don't go to places that you used to go to together. Try not to talk to mutual friends; if you do, make her an off-limit topic. Don't talk to her. Don't talk about her. Don't read romantic stories or watch sappy movies.

When you can think about her without caring too much, you can go back to doing all of those things.

shred · 11-18-2003, 07:58 AM

It also helps to remind yourself that in time, it won't hurt so much anymore.

Averett · 11-18-2003, 08:10 AM

Do you still see her? Talk to her? If you do, stop. Now. Personally I think it makes things worse to "stay friends" or stay in contact with the person.

taliendo · 11-18-2003, 09:23 AM

I say, take some time and really rest on your loss and sorrow, maybe for a couple of hours. Listen to the songs that make you think about all of the good times and really reflect about what a wonderful person you just spent the last couple of years with. Important: allow yourself to cry and even weep over your loss.

I've always found after that, I can not only put the past behind me, but it becomes a treasured memory for me. No matter how things went sour or how many bad times you've had, this helps me to focus on the great times and good memories of that person.

WarWagon · 11-18-2003, 01:42 PM

When I broke up, or even when upset in general, I go to the gym and do a very intense workout, along with some boxing to relieve stress and aggression. Not to mention the fact that getting to see other in-shape women covered in beads of sweat and wearing spandex isn't a bad means of encouragement to move on

anti fishstick · 11-18-2003, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Averett
Do you still see her? Talk to her? If you do, stop. Now. Personally I think it makes things worse to "stay friends" or stay in contact with the person.

yes it does make things worse. you never really completely get over someone this way. but if two people mutually want to hold on in this way, who's to say they shouldn't?

bundy · 11-18-2003, 01:46 PM

cut off all contact with ex.
meet new girls.
have sex with new girls.
have fun.
old girlfriend forgotten.

ickma · 11-18-2003, 01:55 PM

Make friends with your right hand. Or left, whichever you prefer.

wilbjammin · 11-18-2003, 01:55 PM

I had a girlfriend for about 8 months and breaking with her wasn't hard emotionally, other than how she was taking it badly. It was easy to move on. The next girlfriend I really fell for and after 4 months when she declared the impossibility of her commitment to anything and shut me out of her life has been much harder on me. I'm still coping with it. I'm stuck between wanting to move on and thinking about how great everything was. One thing I do is write lots of poetry and try to really understand what it is that caused her to move away from me. Regardless of if it was really because of something you did wrong or because of her issues, once you isolate that, you can focus on it and work on improving yourself or on letting her go because it is just her problem. I kinda get the sense that it was a mutual break-up in some respects with you, so focus on the why it happened. As hard as it is for me to let go of all of those good things, understanding why it went wrong makes everything manageable.

Bloodslick · 11-18-2003, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by taliendo
I say, take some time and really rest on your loss and sorrow, maybe for a couple of hours. Listen to the songs that make you think about all of the good times and really reflect about what a wonderful person you just spent the last couple of years with. Important: allow yourself to cry and even weep over your loss.

I've always found after that, I can not only put the past behind me, but it becomes a treasured memory for me. No matter how things went sour or how many bad times you've had, this helps me to focus on the great times and good memories of that person.

This advice is the antithesis of my advice. I like mine more.

Plan9Senior · 11-18-2003, 02:51 PM

Break all contact and let time run its course. Wish there was something easier, but this is the only "cure".

Uuudar · 11-18-2003, 04:04 PM

If it makes you feel any better, I broke up with my ex over a year ago, and I'm still not over her. We were together for 4 years. Yeah...

FroMan · 11-18-2003, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bloodslick
Listen to angry music. Don't listen to pop. Pop is all about being with another person or having one's heart broken. Don't go to places that you used to go to together.

May I suggest the blues... most of the songs are written about women that ripped someones heart out. I suggest the kenny wayne shepard band.. good stuff.

Falcon Inc · 11-18-2003, 04:50 PM

Have as much sex with girls you don't respect as possible. Do not tread lightly on their feelings. This will make you feel great.

I read workingout and severing ties with her in response to your query... those are excellent. Working out will make you more shapely and will facilitate bagging more women which will help you get better.
Summary:
women ---> workingout --->women ---> fogotten ex. Just picture it as a stratification.

shileno · 11-18-2003, 05:12 PM

i think the best way to move on and forget her is to keep yourself busy...REALLY busy..just do your own thing..

sub zero · 11-19-2003, 10:44 PM

Play videogames, hang out with your boys, fuck 10 other girls. I bet you'll forget about that x fo yours after all that.

Johnny Rotten · 11-19-2003, 11:17 PM

You were together for two and a half years, so it's natural to feel this way after only a month. Just stay cool, man--roll with the punches for a while, and you'll be feeling a lot better before you know it. It's probably too soon to meet new people, but I would recommend getting out as often as possible. When alone, the mind wanders back.

jbrooks544 · 11-20-2003, 07:58 AM

jdflaskdjfasdf aslkdjf asdflkja ldkjf asldjf asf

ratbastid · 11-20-2003, 08:33 AM

I'm noticing that the approach you're taking now seems to involve posting lots of brief, bitter threads on TFP.

How's that working out for you so far?

jbrooks544 · 11-20-2003, 05:05 PM

ratbastid -

edited - nevermind - you weren't talking to me.. edited dumb remark that was here.

.***

*** edited dumb remark that was here. ***

If you weren't talking about me, then, well... nevermind...

ratbastid · 11-20-2003, 05:48 PM

I was talking about Jesus Pimp, actually. Having come straight here from the "when do women quit flaking out" thread he posted, I sort of connected the dots....

jbrooks544, I agree with what you've said in this thread completely. Nothing to do but wait it out. The heart heals in its own time.

Man, I gotta watch my sarcastic streak, or I'll be the new sixate...

lurkette · 11-20-2003, 05:52 PM

jbrooks - I don't think he (Ratbastid) was talking to you...

I, too, have noticed that JesusPimp seems to be a little bitter lately (see thread titled "at what age do girls stop flaking out and get their shit together?" Ouch!) I'll let Ratbastid speak for what he meant by his own terse reply.

It's totally natural for you to be bitter, angry, sad, depressed, etc. at this point. A month is not long, and you were together for a while. The way to get your mind off her is to get your mind off her. Right now, thinking about her is like tonguing the tear on the roof of your mouth, or picking at a scab. You know you probably shouldn't, but somehow it feels good to hurt for some reason. Thinking about her may be unpleasant, but maybe you need to, at least for a while, in order to get past this. Get it out of your system. Otherwise, go out of your way to do things that take your mind off her. Do things that require you to be focused on something else. Enlist a buddy in making sure you get out regularly. Do meet new people. Don't go sleeping around unless it's clear that the women you're using know they're being used and don't mind.

Chances are she's going to be on your mind at least sometimes for a while yet. But keep yourself busy and engaged in other things and eventually it'll fade.

jbrooks544 · 11-20-2003, 06:06 PM

nevermind...

Jesus Pimp · 11-20-2003, 09:22 PM

Well I think I'm making some progress. I actually feel good for once. I got all her stuff i.e letters, pictures, etc.. and put it in a big yellow envelope and put it away in my closet. It's harder for me to get out much since I work 2nd shift. I have some trips though planned for the weekend.

11-18-2003, 05:38 AM	#1 (permalink)
Jesus Pimp The Original JizzSmacka	How to get mind off ex-girlfriend? I just recently broke up with my girlfriend of 2.5 years. At first I was indifferent to the whole breakup but as time moves on the reality of the breakup is settling in and it hurts. I can't stop thinking about her. No matter how busy I try to keep myself or hang out with my friends, it's ripping me apart. Any advice on how to get my mind off of her and move on? __________________ Never date anyone who doesn't make your dick hard.

11-18-2003, 07:26 AM	#2 (permalink)
JStrider Poo-tee-weet? Location: The Woodlands, TX	how long ago did yall break up? ive heard its something like 1 month recovery for every 6 months you were together... but it could be longer... or shorter... its normal for there to be a period where your depressed and think about her a lot... just try to do something you enjoy... and throw yourself into your school/work/whatever... try not to see her... itll just reopen the wounds... the big thing is time... __________________ -=JStrider=- ~Clatto Verata Nicto

11-18-2003, 07:34 AM	#3 (permalink)
Jesus Pimp The Original JizzSmacka	We broke up last month. We were together for 2.5 years. __________________ Never date anyone who doesn't make your dick hard.

11-18-2003, 08:10 AM	#6 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	Do you still see her? Talk to her? If you do, stop. Now. Personally I think it makes things worse to "stay friends" or stay in contact with the person. __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

11-18-2003, 09:23 AM	#7 (permalink)
taliendo Insane Location: an indelible crawl through the gutters	I say, take some time and really rest on your loss and sorrow, maybe for a couple of hours. Listen to the songs that make you think about all of the good times and really reflect about what a wonderful person you just spent the last couple of years with. Important: allow yourself to cry and even weep over your loss. I've always found after that, I can not only put the past behind me, but it becomes a treasured memory for me. No matter how things went sour or how many bad times you've had, this helps me to focus on the great times and good memories of that person. __________________ -LIFE IS ABSURD-

11-18-2003, 07:34 AM	#4 (permalink)
Bloodslick Loser Location: a darkened back alley	Listen to angry music. Don't listen to pop. Pop is all about being with another person or having one's heart broken. Don't go to places that you used to go to together. Try not to talk to mutual friends; if you do, make her an off-limit topic. Don't talk to her. Don't talk about her. Don't read romantic stories or watch sappy movies. When you can think about her without caring too much, you can go back to doing all of those things.

11-18-2003, 07:58 AM	#5 (permalink)
shred Tilted	It also helps to remind yourself that in time, it won't hurt so much anymore.

11-18-2003, 01:42 PM	#8 (permalink)
WarWagon Loser	When I broke up, or even when upset in general, I go to the gym and do a very intense workout, along with some boxing to relieve stress and aggression. Not to mention the fact that getting to see other in-shape women covered in beads of sweat and wearing spandex isn't a bad means of encouragement to move on

11-18-2003, 01:46 PM	#10 (permalink)
bundy . Location: Tokyo	cut off all contact with ex. meet new girls. have sex with new girls. have fun. old girlfriend forgotten. __________________ Ohayo!!!

11-18-2003, 01:55 PM	#11 (permalink)
ickma Insane Location: Toronto	Make friends with your right hand. Or left, whichever you prefer.

11-18-2003, 01:55 PM	#12 (permalink)
wilbjammin * * *	I had a girlfriend for about 8 months and breaking with her wasn't hard emotionally, other than how she was taking it badly. It was easy to move on. The next girlfriend I really fell for and after 4 months when she declared the impossibility of her commitment to anything and shut me out of her life has been much harder on me. I'm still coping with it. I'm stuck between wanting to move on and thinking about how great everything was. One thing I do is write lots of poetry and try to really understand what it is that caused her to move away from me. Regardless of if it was really because of something you did wrong or because of her issues, once you isolate that, you can focus on it and work on improving yourself or on letting her go because it is just her problem. I kinda get the sense that it was a mutual break-up in some respects with you, so focus on the why it happened. As hard as it is for me to let go of all of those good things, understanding why it went wrong makes everything manageable. __________________ Innominate.

11-18-2003, 02:51 PM	#14 (permalink)
Plan9Senior Banned Location: Orange County, California	Break all contact and let time run its course. Wish there was something easier, but this is the only "cure".

11-18-2003, 04:04 PM	#15 (permalink)
Uuudar Insane	If it makes you feel any better, I broke up with my ex over a year ago, and I'm still not over her. We were together for 4 years. Yeah...

11-18-2003, 04:50 PM	#17 (permalink)
Falcon Inc Upright	Have as much sex with girls you don't respect as possible. Do not tread lightly on their feelings. This will make you feel great. I read workingout and severing ties with her in response to your query... those are excellent. Working out will make you more shapely and will facilitate bagging more women which will help you get better. Summary: women ---> workingout --->women ---> fogotten ex. Just picture it as a stratification.

11-18-2003, 05:12 PM	#18 (permalink)
shileno Upright	i think the best way to move on and forget her is to keep yourself busy...REALLY busy..just do your own thing..

11-20-2003, 07:58 AM	#21 (permalink)
jbrooks544 Addict	jdflaskdjfasdf aslkdjf asdflkja ldkjf asldjf asf Last edited by jbrooks544; 03-01-2011 at 11:12 AM..

11-20-2003, 06:06 PM	#26 (permalink)
jbrooks544 Addict	nevermind... Last edited by jbrooks544; 03-01-2011 at 11:14 AM..

11-19-2003, 10:44 PM	#19 (permalink)
sub zero Addict Location: The one state that doesn't have black outs: TEXAS BABY!!!	Play videogames, hang out with your boys, fuck 10 other girls. I bet you'll forget about that x fo yours after all that. __________________ Did you Google it yet? Join the TFP Typing team!!

11-19-2003, 11:17 PM	#20 (permalink)
Johnny Rotten lost and found Location: Berkeley	You were together for two and a half years, so it's natural to feel this way after only a month. Just stay cool, man--roll with the punches for a while, and you'll be feeling a lot better before you know it. It's probably too soon to meet new people, but I would recommend getting out as often as possible. When alone, the mind wanders back. __________________ "The idea that money doesn't buy you happiness is a lie put about by the rich, to stop the poor from killing them." -- Michael Caine

11-20-2003, 08:33 AM	#22 (permalink)
ratbastid Darth Papa Location: Yonder	I'm noticing that the approach you're taking now seems to involve posting lots of brief, bitter threads on TFP. How's that working out for you so far?

11-20-2003, 05:05 PM	#23 (permalink)
jbrooks544 Addict	ratbastid - edited - nevermind - you weren't talking to me.. edited dumb remark that was here. .* * edited dumb remark that was here. *** If you weren't talking about me, then, well... nevermind... Last edited by jbrooks544; 03-01-2011 at 11:14 AM..

11-20-2003, 05:48 PM	#24 (permalink)
ratbastid Darth Papa Location: Yonder	I was talking about Jesus Pimp, actually. Having come straight here from the "when do women quit flaking out" thread he posted, I sort of connected the dots.... jbrooks544, I agree with what you've said in this thread completely. Nothing to do but wait it out. The heart heals in its own time. Man, I gotta watch my sarcastic streak, or I'll be the new sixate...

11-20-2003, 05:52 PM	#25 (permalink)
lurkette My future is coming on Moderator Emeritus Location: east of the sun and west of the moon	jbrooks - I don't think he (Ratbastid) was talking to you... I, too, have noticed that JesusPimp seems to be a little bitter lately (see thread titled "at what age do girls stop flaking out and get their shit together?" Ouch!) I'll let Ratbastid speak for what he meant by his own terse reply. It's totally natural for you to be bitter, angry, sad, depressed, etc. at this point. A month is not long, and you were together for a while. The way to get your mind off her is to get your mind off her. Right now, thinking about her is like tonguing the tear on the roof of your mouth, or picking at a scab. You know you probably shouldn't, but somehow it feels good to hurt for some reason. Thinking about her may be unpleasant, but maybe you need to, at least for a while, in order to get past this. Get it out of your system. Otherwise, go out of your way to do things that take your mind off her. Do things that require you to be focused on something else. Enlist a buddy in making sure you get out regularly. Do meet new people. Don't go sleeping around unless it's clear that the women you're using know they're being used and don't mind. Chances are she's going to be on your mind at least sometimes for a while yet. But keep yourself busy and engaged in other things and eventually it'll fade. __________________ "If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France

11-20-2003, 09:22 PM	#27 (permalink)
Jesus Pimp The Original JizzSmacka	Well I think I'm making some progress. I actually feel good for once. I got all her stuff i.e letters, pictures, etc.. and put it in a big yellow envelope and put it away in my closet. It's harder for me to get out much since I work 2nd shift. I have some trips though planned for the weekend. __________________ Never date anyone who doesn't make your dick hard.