levite

What do you or have you used as a pickup line, if anything? (And not just classic pickup "lines," but any opening line one has used to strike up conversation with a person with the intention of picking them up/getting their number/hooking up with them/etc.) What have you heard others use (successfully or otherwise!)?


I was never much of a pickup line user. Certainly never of the "Hey baby what's your sign?" sort. But I love seeing them in use.

My two most successful pickups ever went as thus:

1. Stunning girl in coffeehouse reading fat book. Looked over her shoulder to check what she was reading on way to get my beverage. It was Shakespeare, and she was on A Midsummer Night's Dream. On my way back, I stopped by her and opened with the line "Ill met by moonlight, proud Titania," and we went through maybe half that dialogue before I didn't remember the lines anymore. She asked me to sit. We ended up dating for six months.

2. Scorching girl at college party. Couldn't think of an opener for the life of me. Didn't have any friends in common to get an intro. In desperation (and feeling fatalistic after a few drinks and tokes), went up to her and said, "I can't think of any clever way to strike up a conversation with you, but you are ridiculously beautiful, and I would like to get to know you." Turned out to be one of the only party hookups in my life.


Lines I have heard, loved, and/or wished to hell I could get away with:

1. From an Aussie, "Hey shiela! Fancy a fuck?" Is there anything Aussies can't get away with saying? Damn if it didn't work, too.

2. At a party in college: "I have a fervent need to serve you, orally." I could never say this to a stranger, but that dude got twelve kinds of laid.

3. At a bar: "Unlike Bono, I believe I have found what I am looking for." This did not work, but I do give it points anyway.

4. Outside a graduate seminar in philosophy: "You appear to me to be the summum bonum." Might have worked. The girl didn't tell him to get lost, but she didn't throw herself at him, either.

5. At a blues club: "Girl, you gotta be a miracle, 'cause your face sure come from Jesus, but your body sure tempting as Hell." Maybe this line only works if you're black, shaven-headed, 6"4, and muscled like an Ashanti warrior.

6. At a party, a girl to a guy: "You seem nice, and I'm kind of horny, and I was hoping you'd want to help me out with that." Worked, of course.

7. At a party: "My name's Eric. That's so you'll know what to scream." Didn't work, but he got a laugh.

8. At a party in college, one girl to another: "You know that story women tell about 'that one time in college' with another girl? I think you should tell that story about me." Worked. And was incredibly hot.

9. Another college party, girl to a guy: "Nice jeans. Can I test the zipper?" Worked, of course.

10. At a movie screening in Hollywood: "You make me feel like my agent when he signs a contract." ("How so?") "I'm seeing stars and I have a hard-on." Epic fail.

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Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)

Wes Mantooth

I've never been one for pickup lines, when ever I try I just sound like somebody telling a bad joke and failing miserably. Instead I just opt for anything that might be an ice breaker and go from there works MUCH MUCH better.

Never the less..

...I've caught a few girls off guard with "nice shoes wanna fuck?". Doesn't work very often but sometimes you catch somebody so off guard they feel compelled to find out more about you.

I've heard this one sooo many times in bars around here (usually from tourists) that its actually become painful. "Are you from Tennessee because you're the only Ten I see"...yeah. Its right up there with "whats your sign" but living smack dab in the middle of Tennessee I hear it a lot more then any person ever should. I mean why would anybody even try that one?

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Daniel_

I had a friend at university who carried out a cost/benefit analysis, and worked out that fast and moderately effective was more reliable than slow and very effective.

He just went up to any likely looking women and said "Hi, my name is, XXXX, you're lovely, want to come home with me?". The tactic had the advantage that he could cover the room very quickly.

I never saw him go home alone.

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╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

cdwonderful

"Shall we step outside for a moment? I would hate to tell our children I met their mother in a bar......."


Cheesy? yea.

But he ended up getting married to her.

Divorced two years later ( no kids )

go figure

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Never try to teach a pig to whistle
it wastes your time,
and annoys the pig.....

Pearl Trade

I was sitting outside with a friend one day watching the beautiful babies pass by, and we were making dumb comments to each girl. It was usually a quick "what's up" or "how's it going" without a reply back and they always walked faster after going by us.

So I said "hey baby" to a stunner, and she walked over to the table I was at and started talking with me and my bud. Got a two year girlfriend out of the deal, just by saing "hey baby".

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Our revenge will be the laughter of our children.
Give me convenience or give me death!

TNJ4555

The line that works for me: "I have a gun"

cdwonderful

which would lead to the second line that would work for you

" I seemed to have dropped my soap in this prison shower............"

__________________
Never try to teach a pig to whistle
it wastes your time,
and annoys the pig.....

guy44

Heh, I don't think that there is any line a woman could try that would fail.

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"You have reached Ritual Sacrifice. For goats press one, or say 'goats.'"

Giant Hamburger

Try this one out:

The male blood fluke can spend its entire life in a constant state of coitus, firmly lodged in a groove along the front of the canoe-shaped female.

I am not using it anymore.

FoolThemAll

Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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I wonder if we're stuck in Rome.

Wes Mantooth

"tickle your ass with a feather?"

"EXUSE ME!!!!" *hand cocks back for a slap*

"I said particularly nice weather."

Hey you'll know right up front what your dealing with.

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CinnamonGirl

"I think I'm in love with your phone" worked fantastically for me, but may not be approprite for all situations

ZombieSquirrel and I used to have a list that was pages long, filled with bad pick up lines. We never used any of them seriously, but they were still fun. "Nice shoes, wanna fuck?" is still my favorite...quick & to the point, and you get a compliment in there as well

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"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

Esco

I've never used a pick up line. I'm much more direct and go straight up to the person.

I think I would love to try some of those out just to see what kind of reaction I get.

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The user formerly known as BlingBling

Amaras

Honestly, even thinking of a something to say to start a conversation
with a woman I'm attracted to, and calling it a pickup line, bugs me.
Now I'll go grumble in a corner....

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Propaganda is to a democracy what the bludgeon is to a totalitarian state.
-Noam Chomsky
Love is a verb, not a noun.
-My Mom
The function of genius is to furnish cretins with ideas twenty years later.
-Louis Aragon, "La Porte-plume," Traite du style, 1928

Hektore

I had an old college acquaintance who, during parties' "bump and grind" sessions would often get lucky with "It'd be a shame to waste a perfectly good boner"

At college I had had stunningly good luck with 'Can I see your tits?'.

Really.

I know.

I can't believe it either.

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The advantage law is the best law in rugby, because it lets you ignore all the others for the good of the game.

Plan9

Man, I didn't know it was this easy to get laid. I always used to focus on being respectful and funny, asking them questions about themselves.

Little did I know that I should have been like, "Your crotch, my mouth. My crotch, your mouth. Let's do this thing." Oh, all the sex I've missed.

...

Okay, I'm kidding. Get a few beers in me and I'll be pulling on some girl's navel ring going,

"You're a cute doll. Aren't you supposed to say five different phrases?"

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

MSD

I came up with what friends unanimously voted the worst pickup line in recorded history. Feel free to try it out, I will not be doing so.

"Do you work for NASA? Because I'd love to tell you about my proposal for a manned mission to Uranus."


Normally I just walk in with a camera and they walk up to me.

monkeysugar

"Hi I'm xxxx, nice to meet you" followed by further conversation always worked pretty well for me. I had an acquaintance in college that would print out and memorize pages upon pages of pickup lines. Never got a second glance. Maybe it has something to with a little bit of confidence and not throwing out a "ooh creepy!" vibe.

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I've got the love of my life and a job that I enjoy most of the time. Life is good.

Xerxys

I believe it. In high school I got away with:

Me: "could you hold your sweater back abit?"
Girl: "Why?" but does it anyway.
Me: "I'm trying to gauge what bra size you are."

Took to me to third base, at least.

Lindy

As a female, I've been on the receiving end of some truly dreadfully inept, stupid, and usually drunken pickup lines. So I'll just mention a few that were at least verging on successful. For a pick up line to work with me, you have to at least seem to be interesting. Good looking doesn't help. Good looking guys are three for a quarter. One of the best lines was (believe it or not)
"Hi, I was thinking that I ought to know you from somewhere." Later he admitted that he knew he didn't know me --but thought he ought to. That one worked like a charm!
Another was "Since we're both here, we must have some areas of commonality." That guy hit a home run at the Negro League Baseball Museum in Kansas City.
At one party a man that I'd met earlier sat down at our table but didn't sazy anything. So I said "Penny for your thoughts." and pushed a penny across the table. He came back with "Well, since you asked, I was just wondering what it would feel like to slide my cock between your tits." If he hadn't been quite so sloppy drunk, he might have found out. We've since become close enough casual friends that it's become a sort of "inside joke" between us. We'll cross paths at some function, and he'll say "Still wondering..." and I'll reply with something like "Sometimes life is just full of mysteries." But he is a funny and interesting guy. His mysteries would have been solved by now if I didn't have a serious boyfriend.

Lindy

Plan9

This site is a landfill of pickup lines:

Check it out.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

I_bleed_love

Can't say I could ever pull off a pick-up line and most men cannot either lol. But, if a girl is really into a guy he could use the corniest line or pick-up and it would work like a charm.

tasineah

when scouting women, I would walk up to a woman I was interested in and point to my friend I'd arrived with and say..."see that woman over there?" and she would nod and I would continue and say " she asked me if I thought you were a lesbian" I would look at her with a look on my face of somewhat suprise and then say with a compassionate plea after they would say " well what did you say?" " I said,' god I hope so'"

worked many a time...

cdwonderful

funny, that the same line I used........

__________________
Never try to teach a pig to whistle
it wastes your time,
and annoys the pig.....

Cavi Mike

My friend lost his virginity with this line:

Him: Wanna get a pizza and fuck?
Her: Ew NO!
Him: You don't like pizza???

I've never had the guts to try it.

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pearls ain't free

tasineah

drawing up close to CD and placing my cheek oh so close to his....

and it worked now didnt it....

Ice|Burn

The only thing that would make hearing this worth it is if everyone in the bar did a double face palm. The music stops, a glass breaks somewhere, and a muted gasp is heard. Only then would it be funny.

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"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." -Stephen F. Roberts

IF PWNED > OWNED and PWNED=PWNAGE and OWN<PWN but PWN<PWNED and OWNAGE>OWN then what does OWNAGE+PWN equal?

Plan9

Hah, righteous.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."