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levite · 08-25-2010, 12:05 PM

What do you or have you used as a pickup line, if anything? (And not just classic pickup "lines," but any opening line one has used to strike up conversation with a person with the intention of picking them up/getting their number/hooking up with them/etc.) What have you heard others use (successfully or otherwise!)?

I was never much of a pickup line user. Certainly never of the "Hey baby what's your sign?" sort. But I love seeing them in use.

My two most successful pickups ever went as thus:

1. Stunning girl in coffeehouse reading fat book. Looked over her shoulder to check what she was reading on way to get my beverage. It was Shakespeare, and she was on A Midsummer Night's Dream. On my way back, I stopped by her and opened with the line "Ill met by moonlight, proud Titania," and we went through maybe half that dialogue before I didn't remember the lines anymore. She asked me to sit. We ended up dating for six months.

2. Scorching girl at college party. Couldn't think of an opener for the life of me. Didn't have any friends in common to get an intro. In desperation (and feeling fatalistic after a few drinks and tokes), went up to her and said, "I can't think of any clever way to strike up a conversation with you, but you are ridiculously beautiful, and I would like to get to know you." Turned out to be one of the only party hookups in my life.

Lines I have heard, loved, and/or wished to hell I could get away with:

1. From an Aussie, "Hey shiela! Fancy a fuck?" Is there anything Aussies can't get away with saying? Damn if it didn't work, too.

2. At a party in college: "I have a fervent need to serve you, orally." I could never say this to a stranger, but that dude got twelve kinds of laid.

3. At a bar: "Unlike Bono, I believe I have found what I am looking for." This did not work, but I do give it points anyway.

4. Outside a graduate seminar in philosophy: "You appear to me to be the summum bonum." Might have worked. The girl didn't tell him to get lost, but she didn't throw herself at him, either.

5. At a blues club: "Girl, you gotta be a miracle, 'cause your face sure come from Jesus, but your body sure tempting as Hell." Maybe this line only works if you're black, shaven-headed, 6"4, and muscled like an Ashanti warrior.

6. At a party, a girl to a guy: "You seem nice, and I'm kind of horny, and I was hoping you'd want to help me out with that." Worked, of course.

7. At a party: "My name's Eric. That's so you'll know what to scream." Didn't work, but he got a laugh.

8. At a party in college, one girl to another: "You know that story women tell about 'that one time in college' with another girl? I think you should tell that story about me." Worked. And was incredibly hot.

9. Another college party, girl to a guy: "Nice jeans. Can I test the zipper?" Worked, of course.

10. At a movie screening in Hollywood: "You make me feel like my agent when he signs a contract." ("How so?") "I'm seeing stars and I have a hard-on." Epic fail.

08-25-2010, 12:05 PM	#1 (permalink)
levite Minion of Joss Location: The Windy City	Pickup Lines What do you or have you used as a pickup line, if anything? (And not just classic pickup "lines," but any opening line one has used to strike up conversation with a person with the intention of picking them up/getting their number/hooking up with them/etc.) What have you heard others use (successfully or otherwise!)? I was never much of a pickup line user. Certainly never of the "Hey baby what's your sign?" sort. But I love seeing them in use. My two most successful pickups ever went as thus: 1. Stunning girl in coffeehouse reading fat book. Looked over her shoulder to check what she was reading on way to get my beverage. It was Shakespeare, and she was on A Midsummer Night's Dream. On my way back, I stopped by her and opened with the line "Ill met by moonlight, proud Titania," and we went through maybe half that dialogue before I didn't remember the lines anymore. She asked me to sit. We ended up dating for six months. 2. Scorching girl at college party. Couldn't think of an opener for the life of me. Didn't have any friends in common to get an intro. In desperation (and feeling fatalistic after a few drinks and tokes), went up to her and said, "I can't think of any clever way to strike up a conversation with you, but you are ridiculously beautiful, and I would like to get to know you." Turned out to be one of the only party hookups in my life. Lines I have heard, loved, and/or wished to hell I could get away with: 1. From an Aussie, "Hey shiela! Fancy a fuck?" Is there anything Aussies can't get away with saying? Damn if it didn't work, too. 2. At a party in college: "I have a fervent need to serve you, orally." I could never say this to a stranger, but that dude got twelve kinds of laid. 3. At a bar: "Unlike Bono, I believe I have found what I am looking for." This did not work, but I do give it points anyway. 4. Outside a graduate seminar in philosophy: "You appear to me to be the summum bonum." Might have worked. The girl didn't tell him to get lost, but she didn't throw herself at him, either. 5. At a blues club: "Girl, you gotta be a miracle, 'cause your face sure come from Jesus, but your body sure tempting as Hell." Maybe this line only works if you're black, shaven-headed, 6"4, and muscled like an Ashanti warrior. 6. At a party, a girl to a guy: "You seem nice, and I'm kind of horny, and I was hoping you'd want to help me out with that." Worked, of course. 7. At a party: "My name's Eric. That's so you'll know what to scream." Didn't work, but he got a laugh. 8. At a party in college, one girl to another: "You know that story women tell about 'that one time in college' with another girl? I think you should tell that story about me." Worked. And was incredibly hot. 9. Another college party, girl to a guy: "Nice jeans. Can I test the zipper?" Worked, of course. 10. At a movie screening in Hollywood: "You make me feel like my agent when he signs a contract." ("How so?") "I'm seeing stars and I have a hard-on." Epic fail. __________________ Dull sublunary lovers love, Whose soul is sense, cannot admit Absence, because it doth remove That thing which elemented it. (From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)