little_tippler

I have been considering making this thread for a while but it took me long enough to write this out.

Some of you will recall a previous “what is sex” thread that left me quite disappointed. I really thought that the thread topic looked interesting, because I thought it would be a discussion on what is sex to each one of us. But it wasn't.

So I decided to make a new thread about exactly that.

It may seem like a topic we’ve discussed at length before, but I don’t think we have…not quite like this.

What I’m curious to hear about is:

1) What is sex to you?

2) What does sex feel like for you?

Here’s my contribution, to get the ball rolling.

Sex to me is something essential to any human life. I have thought in a sexual manner (more or less innocently, but always instinctively) since I was about 7. At least that’s as far back as I can remember feeling turned on by anything sex related, even if it was in a naïve way. I have always found the idea of sex fascinating, but also realized early on it wasn’t something you talked about publicly, at least that’s what it seemed like because people would giggle or pretend it hadn’t happened if it was mentioned.

Like most people, I hoped that orgasm was going to be this amazing thing I hadn’t yet experienced. I was wrong. It was this very pleasant thing I’d been doing to myself for years. I was quite taken aback when I realized that’s what it was. It didn’t make me enjoy it less though. But suddenly it seemed trivial. Since I’d never had sex at that point, I started hoping that it would be even better than lonely orgasms. In some ways, it turned out to be. In other ways, not so much.

The closeness of another body with sex is amazing. It’s also incredibly sexy to watch another person’s body moving with yours, and all the little details you can be mesmerized by. The sounds, the smells, the way your body feels like it’s on fire. The feeling of someone penetrating your body where it wants to be penetrated is pretty unique. Like it’s supposed to be that way, an awesome fit. (I suppose this goes for guys, only the other way around!)

For me sex feels hot and wet, and I feel the animal in me come out. I also will feel an intense connection with the other person, during the sex. I’m not sure if it’s emotional or not but it feels like it when I’m into the person in other ways beside just sex. Coming close to orgasm in the presence of another is a very powerful sensation to me. Actually having an orgasm with another feels like thousands of tiny little explosions of pleasure leading up to one big one going through all my senses like a tingling, burning feeling and I want to squeal in ecstasy. That’s about as close as I’m able to get to describing it. It's slightly different than giving one to yourself, only slightly to me anyway.

Sex seems essential to any healthy, lasting relationship between two people who are romantically involved. To me it’s an urge…it’s got to be the best feeling/sensation (combination) in the world and who doesn’t want to have that as often as possible?

Don't be shy...share your thoughts on this. I'm wondering how different it is for each one of us?

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

dlish

ill have what she's having

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

Makedde

I haven't had sex yet, but I'll answer the first question: Sex to me, is something special, and sacred, to be shared only between two people who love each other, and who have a solid commitment.

I intend to wait for the right person to come along before I even consider giving myself away.

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Sun flames and moons glow, timeless the tides will flow, what will I face, what will be mine, fortune and fate the other side...

Charlatan

I will get back to you on this...

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Hyacinthe

My views on sex change alot, almost daily infact. Sometimes sex seems like the most intimate thing you can share with another person, letting them see you when you have lost all control. At other times, specially after a long night at work it doesn't feel like it's anything much more then the plain reproduction of the species thing.

My parents are extremely conservative when it comes to sex, it was never talked about in our house. Even when my siblings and I hit puberty our parents never sat us down and explained things - instead we got given a book "Where did I come from"



Despite this my sister and I are extremely open about sex, before she got her current Bf she used to ask me to buy her lube and sex toys infact (way too much info about my sister sex life) since I get an industry discount.

Do you know what the human body goes through when you have sex? Pupils dilate, arteries constrict, core temperature rises, heart races, blood pressure skyrockets, respiration becomes rapid and shallow, the brain fires bursts of electrical impulses from nowhere to nowhere and secretions spit out of every gland, and the muscles tense and spasm like you’re lifting three times your body weight. It’s violent, it’s ugly, and it’s messy, and if God hadn’t made it unbelievably fun the human race would have died out eons ago.

These day I still think sex is something special, something that you shouldn't share with just anyone (maybe because of my one terrible one night stand). I'm not however going to wait around for that mystical, magical 'one' (no offence to those who are) I'm not going to put any aspect of my life on hold, whether that's in regards to my career, my emotions or my sex life. As long as I feel some kind of connection or attraction for the person as far as I am concerned they are a viable sex partner.
Don't get me wrong. I still think true love's out there it's just very far away. Possibly in another galaxy. We may need to develop faster than light travel before we can make contact. For me sex is necessary, even if the only person I'm having it with is myself

As for what it feels like to me, I could go on for hours. It's a tie between whether an orgasm feels better or that first thrust, that first real entry, it feel like my entire body opens up and from that point onwards tingles run up and down my body from the top of my head to the soles of my feet. It's as though I can feel every teensy hair on my body standing on end and everytime my partner brushes against me I can feel it 50 times over. Orgasm itself, my back spasms, I find myself biting down on my lip (or whatever is available), my entire pelvic region feel like, I dunno if there are words. It feels like sherbet mixed with carbonated beverage where it fizzes over the top and goes everywhere in one sticky, bubbling mass. It makes me feel as though my body just can't contain all of that emotion and pleasure. As though at any moment I am going to shatter into a trillion shards. It's like biting into your favourite fruit and intensifying that sensation til you can barely stand it.

That doesn't reall describe what it's like at all but it's as close as I can get.

__________________
"I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken... and the one that could brighten up your day even if she couldnt brighten her own"

"Her emotions were clear waters. You could see the scarring and pockmarks at the bottom of the pool, but it was just a part of her landscape – the consequences of others’ actions in which she claimed no part."

gamefreak1398

i remember this quote from House lol
when i first heard it, i had to rewatch it

Halx

Sex is a lot of different things to me, depending on the situation. I could never classify it as one thing in particular because I am looking to accomplish different things with it at different times. In one instance it can be a passionate embrace with someone I love. In other instances it could be a release of aggression or an exploration of pleasure. At times it can simply be a personal challenge or even a workout. I try not to idealize sex, I just focus on what I enjoy. The sights and sounds are what thrill me the most. In the more intimate encounters, I enjoy those breathy moans from my partner that tell me she's totally.. feeling me. In the more energetic and aggressive bouts, I like Spoiler: looking down to see my big dick absolutely demolishing that little pussy.

One point of contention I've always had with many others is that I can separate love and sex completely. I can have sex with someone I don't love because, as stated above, what I get out of it isn't emotional. That isn't to say that I can't have emotional sex, or that sex can't help strengthen a relationship. A lot of people see sex as the last step in bonding with a person - completely vet their potential as an emotional partner and THEN have sex to seal the deal. Well, I see it as the first step in bonding with a person. Maybe its just my history of having so many female friends who are JUST friends because I never made a move, now it makes no sense to me to have a relationship without knowing if your two bodies fit together well. And with a guy my size, its important to know that I wont be knee deep in love with someone BEFORE we find out that she just cant handle me.

Its not all logistics though. I recognize that sex can be more intense when you have feelings for the person. I just don't see the need to have it so intense all the time. I like variety and frivolity. I disagree with holding sex on some high fuckin' pedestal. To me, its absolutely delusional to reserve it for only the closest to heart. I AM an animal and I have my animal needs.

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MrFriendly

What does sex mean to me?

Hard to answer, I don't really get enough of it to be entirely sure. In the grand scheme, the act itself isn't terribly important to me. I'm a neurotic bastard, and really does take a certain kinda gall to get me, and it takes a fair bit for me to really open up and get involved with someone. But I don't like having sex with people just for the hell of it. Just my style really.

As for sex itself, I love being so close and intimate with someone else. The smells, sounds, the senses tingling, the anticipation. I just love making women orgasm.

I don't really know if I can articulate just when sex feels like for me. All I can say the longer a woman can make that feeling last, the better. So I like to be teased, I like it slow and deep. But more than that, I just like exploring another persons body, and I love having them explore mine.

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You are not a slave

little_tippler

Excellent description Hyacinthe! I like the sherbet and fizz. I can relate to that. But yes, we can never quite describe it exactly, but it's cool to know that it's probably similar for most of us. I'm wondering does anyone feel something entirely different? What do men feel? I have no idea! Tell me?

I'm thinking, either no-one thinks this is worth talking about, or no-one wants to share! I mean, 148 views and 7 replies? I thought this could be quite an interesting topic, because it asks for detail. I hope we're not through yet

Thanks to those who felt able to put their thoughts to the screen. Keep it coming everyone!

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

MrFriendly

I think one thing I can honestly say is, I'm get the feeling that women get something way more superior sensory wise from sex than blokes do.

__________________
You are not a slave

World's King

The act of sex? Dick in pussy. Back and forth. $200





Hide the body.

__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown

dlish

i think the guys find it harder to talk about it than women. hence the lack of responses in a male dominated forum.

i dont have a problem discussing it. but i choose not to discuss it on a public forum. for me, some things aren't meant for the entire world, but kudos for those that can! for this reason, my participation in this section of the forum remains as advice based on my experiences.

is this the case with the other males here? why do people choose to stay quiet?

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

World's King

I stay quiet (or make a joke instead) because I find it hard to describe what I think sex is without sounding like a complete pervert. And yes, I actually care what you all think of me.


Sex is just sex. We all know what is supposed to happen. It may not happen in the same order for everyone. But it's all gonna happen.

__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown

little_tippler

Meh. I suddenly feel like I would have been better off keeping quiet...is it really so terrible to talk about this openly? I find the topic quite interesting, but if so few feel it's worth talking about...

WK, you make sex sound like going to the grocery store to buy some milk...

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

snowy

Sex is amazing.

There are times when my toes curl just from him sliding in to me. That sudden feeling of fullness can throw me over the edge without any effort. For me, an orgasm is like a wave...it builds and builds until I'm sliding over the edge, riding it. At other times it's like a dam bursting, a sudden torrent of sensation.

I don't need love to have sex, but it certainly helps. Comfort with the other person, knowledge of what works and what doesn't work--all this helps to make sex better.

I could go for some right now.

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Jozrael

As a note, LT, just because I (and others, evidently) don't feel comfortable discussing it doesn't mean we don't appreciate you sharing. TFP is a community, and if there's a thread that you don't like, you don't visit it. So those in this thread are those who would enjoy you sharing this with us. Thanks for that.

ratbastid

No, no, tippler, this is a great topic. It's just not natural for people to be that honest, even somewhere as pseudo-anonymous as here.

Couple hours ago, StellaLuna and I woke up from a nap together. We were lying there naked in the spots of sunlight bleeding through the holes in the blinds. We've been sort of teasing each other for the last few days, but other obligations and a cold we've all been sharing has cramped our time and our mood, and we've been missing each other badly. And now we finally had each other all to ourselves for a while, and could take the opportunity.

So while she's rocking gently on top of me, a moment comes when I look up and see her face and I'm suddenly struck by who this woman IS. I suddenly see this amazing, beautiful, brilliant woman with whom for the last nearly-two years I've had the amazing good fortune to share my home and my bed and my wife. And what really strikes me is just how unlikely it seemed, two-plus years ago, that here, at 3:00pm on a sunny Sunday afternoon in October, that I would be here, in my bed, deep inside her. I had to stop and laugh at how improbable this all was. And then next thing I knew I was having an orgasm.

That's one thing sex is for me--an opportunity to reconnect deeply with my partner(s). That's not all it is (and it's not always that) but that's what it was today.

It's not normal for people to talk this honestly, is why this thread hasn't exploded. But it's exciting to read--hence the high read/post ratio. But it's worthwhile, even when it seems like it's not. WK's last post was as honest and vulnerable as I think I've ever seen him be--including his "hot tea" thread, which you'd think would be totally open, but didn't lay down his facade like that last post on this thread did. And I'm singling out WK, but it's all of us; this OP asks us to set down the facade of civility and admit to each other that there's a sexual animal over here where I am, invites us to let that out for others to see. We're afraid of what people will think, or embarrassed to be caught being emotional or something. I think of that as being harder for men than women, though that may not be actually the case.

Ironically, when we're invited into another person's reality like that, all that happens is that we love them a little more for it. Case in point, tippler, I have to confess, I've had a tiny crush on you for a quite while, and after that OP its a little bit less tiny.

World's King

Well Mrs. Tippler... I am a chef. Food excites me.





And like I said. To get into it... Sex is one thing I don't have the words for. I can explain what sex was like with different partners. Or what I imagine it would be like with females I "wet-dream" about. But to explain what sex actually is to me...




I fuck because I'm addicted to female flesh. The smell, the taste, the feel... To have my arms wrapped around a female of such beauty and passion... To feel her heart beat in every thrust... passing out from pleasure, pain... covered in sweat and other fluids...



Well, Mrs Tippler...

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

dlish

LT - no, dont stop posting things like this by all means. my comments werent intended to discourage anyone from posting, rather i was trying to find a reason why it wasnt taking off.

bastid hit it on the head really. but id like to add that it does take a lot of effort to post these sort of posts, and i appreciate peoples honesty here.

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

Anormalguy

It's getting late, I'll post a better response tomorrow (this thread topic deserves a thorough response).

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In a society where the individual is not free to pursue the truth...there is neither progress, stability nor security.--Edward R. Murrow

nomcat

I would love to respond, but I don't think I would do it justice by putting it into words...

ColonelSpecial

I have been rolling these questions in my head the last couple of days.

When I am not having sex, I think of it in more cerebral terms: it is the coupling of two people, possibly stemming from feelings of love or lust. Two people combine their genetalia until one or both achieve orgasm. When I am having sex or physical intimacy surrounding sex (foreplay, cuddling afterwards, etc), then it is completely emotional. My mind shuts off and it is just taking the feelings from my body that are coming from someone else and enjoying it. It feels like a train that is going up a hill and you are looking at the view around you and it is beautiful and then you reach the top and you get the coolest ride down.

Before I started having sex, I figured it would be very serious and intense. I have found the opposite to be true. I laugh so much during sex and it makes it so much fun. Even if something goes opposite of plans or something awkward happens, my partner and I laugh and it makes it so much better.

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"Using the pull out method of contraceptive is like saying I won't use a seat belt, I'll just jump out of the car before it hits that tree."

Sara

Hyacinthe

I know exactly what you mean ratbastid when you have one of those moments when you suddenly realise how very lucky you are to be with whoever you are with (only happens when you really care for the person you're with ofcourse). My SO laughs at me sometimes cause we'll be in the middle and I'll just stop and he'll notice I'm tearing up, he generally panics a bit at that point but it's just cause I start to think how much less my life would be without his role in it, how much I value him and what we have together, how very much I care about him, even now if I let myself feel all that at once it's overwhelming.

LT don't loose hope it's a great thread idea, just the honesty required to answer a question like this is hard, especially for those of us like WK who care what the readers think. On that note WK I thought your response actually summed it up quite nicely.

__________________
"I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken... and the one that could brighten up your day even if she couldnt brighten her own"

"Her emotions were clear waters. You could see the scarring and pockmarks at the bottom of the pool, but it was just a part of her landscape – the consequences of others’ actions in which she claimed no part."

ratbastid

Which is to say: every last solitary one of us.

abaya

It's different each time, even though I've been with the same person for the last 4.5 years, and that is what makes it so much fun. It never gets old... always new feelings and emotions to experience during that act, and always more intimacy to build. Every act of sex brings us closer, again, in the way that ratbastid described above.

Last night, it felt like I had surrendered ownership of my body to another being, who climbed on top of me and used his body to claim me as his own. I loved the feeling of being taken, of losing our bodies within and around each other in pitch darkness, of touching and playing and licking all of those different parts, making noises of desire and satisfaction and more desire. Despite the late hour, we wanted to be naked with each other, flesh upon flesh, and experience that ultimate intimacy after cuddling and being near each other all day. It is raw energy, bounded and focused into the intersection of those two body parts, two living masses colliding into each other over and over again until exhaustion... and then the collapse, the breathing, the burrowing into each other and the feeling of utter release, safety, trust, comfort... all of that is a part of sex, for me.

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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Poppinjay

Woo hoo!

The hair. It gets me every time. The hair on her HEAD you pervs.

There's a scene in Trainspotting where Ewen McGregor ir reaching for a supository he dropped in an incredibly disgusting toilet. Except he didn't drop it, it's all psychotropic. He falls in and the water is incredibly pure, therapuetic, and breathable. Take out the disgusting toilet part, and that's what it's like for me. But only with her. Otherwise it's just, meh. Like eating a donut or something.

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I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

Jozrael

Not gonna lie, Poppinjay, your response entirely baffles me. I've been able to identify with pretty much everyone else in the thread, but I can honestly say that sex to me doesn't feel like diving into an open sewer.

I'm sure that's not what you mean but I just don't get it xD.

Poppinjay

That's why I said leave out the toilet part. I guess I should have just said it's like diving into a pool of warm pure goodness.

I thought about posting the video, but it's hard to get past the first part without it leaving a lasting impression.

__________________
I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

jewels

My quick answer? Sex was either a recreational release or the deepest expression of love. For me, anyway.

I've been through so many different types of relationships in my life. When I was younger, sex was a way of achieving notches to get back at the guys who took advantage of my young, trusting heart when I was younger (go figure, right? ). It was pure recreation and a little bit of revenge. Then I went through an experimental phase, realizing there supposed to be a reward for myself somewhere. Once I felt I'd experienced it all, I began to feel the emptiness of those relationships. That's when I met a guy who respected me and married him because I'd mistaken that for love.

With my second husband, I discovered that the deep connection he and I had allowed for so much more intimacy. He knew how to please me and I was eager to please him. With him, I learned to let myself go completely and never held back. Sex had become something crucial to the maintenance of our relationship.

With the relationship I've been in (more or less) the past few years, it's a beautiful combination of passion and friendship. Sex is now the best possible expression of love. I would never engage in gratuitous or recreational sex again. There's just no comparison, for me.

It's always new and exciting. Sometimes it's like riding waves, oftentimes each new wave layered upon the previous. It's the purest form of ecstasy in a bed. It can be animalistic and from the core, or sometimes it's a tender sweet trickle that just won't quit, sort of like melting chocolate.

It's always an ongoing state of arousal that magnifies every touch, every sensation and every look. It's the highest high that can keep us floating for days. Despite this, it's worse than heroin because it's so tough to wait for the next fix.

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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

curiousbear

I am not able to write it - i keep typing and deleting the text .... whats happened to me?

cadre

+1 My answers are very similar. Sex is a lot of different things depending on the situation. Needless to say, I think it's one of the purest forms of expression whether the expression is that of lust or love.

As far as how sex feels for me..I don't know how to answer that because it depends on the situation. Either way, it's fun and it feels good.

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My life is one of those 'you had to be there' jokes.