My quick answer? Sex was either a recreational release or the deepest expression of love. For me, anyway.
I've been through so many different types of relationships in my life. When I was younger, sex was a way of achieving notches to get back at the guys who took advantage of my young, trusting heart when I was younger (go figure, right?
). It was pure recreation and a little bit of revenge. Then I went through an experimental phase, realizing there supposed to be a reward for myself somewhere. Once I felt I'd experienced it all, I began to feel the emptiness of those relationships. That's when I met a guy who respected me and married him because I'd mistaken that for love.
With my second husband, I discovered that the deep connection he and I had allowed for so much more intimacy. He knew how to please me and I was eager to please him. With him, I learned to let myself go completely and never held back. Sex had become something crucial to the maintenance of our relationship.
With the relationship I've been in (more or less) the past few years, it's a beautiful combination of passion and friendship. Sex is now the best possible expression of love. I would never engage in gratuitous or recreational sex again. There's just no comparison, for me.
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2) What does sex feel like for you?
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It's always new and exciting. Sometimes it's like riding waves, oftentimes each new wave layered upon the previous. It's the purest form of ecstasy in a bed. It can be animalistic and from the core, or sometimes it's a tender sweet trickle that just won't quit, sort of like melting chocolate.
It's always an ongoing state of arousal that magnifies every touch, every sensation and every look. It's the highest high that can keep us floating for days. Despite this, it's worse than heroin because it's so tough to wait for the next fix.
