Craven Morehead

I can attest to this. Worked great for me. Never hungry while losing weight. Each meal must be balanced with the correct amount of protein, carbs, fat (yes, some is needed), etc. I had around 30 lbs melt off in about 3 months. Of course, I added working out but changing the way I ate (NO SNACKING) made the big difference. Coloric intake is the key.

cleondann

it happens in love.. .

Wes Mantooth

All I can really add is this, either you want to be with her or you don't. If she doesn't want to lose weight she isn't going to, if she doesn't want to tackle her depression she isn't going to its that simple. It would seem the ball is in your court at this point. Either you accept her as she is and encourage her to get healthy for her own sake or use it as a clue that the two of you are not ment to be and move on.

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cleondann

yes,, that may be much better idea...

Marlon's Mom

Obviously, this is an old thread and the OP seems to have found the guidance he was looking for, but we've still never heard (or seen) how "obese" this poor woman is. We don't know her side of anything - we know only what her boyfriend has told us.

Take a look at these pictures (crap image quality, sorry):



That's me in 1985. My longtime boyfriend at the time complained that I was too heavy (oddly enough, I weighed 15 lbs. MORE when we met, four years earlier).

Fast forward about five years. I'm still the same shape/size. I meet a man who pursues me vigorously. After about four months of dating, he begins complaining that I'm too heavy, and why don't I go to the gym with him, and I should eat more Lean Cuisine meals and "I'd like to be able to see your ribs" ...

Somewhere in this thread, the OP stated that his girlfriend was heavy when they first began dating (I don't recall seeing anything about her suddenly getting ginormously obese after the fact, although this could be the case), so he apparently didn't think her weight was an issue when they met or he wouldn't have pursued the relationship.

So... exactly who changed?

Everyone has their own idea of what an ideal physique is. If you find bones that jut out to be attractive, do not "settle" for a thin woman and try to get her to emaciate herself for you.

If someone's physique is more important to you than your feelings for the person, you need to recognize that your priorities are messed up and you need to deal with your own issues - don't lay them at someone else's feet.

Bottom line - love me for what and who I am RIGHT NOW, not for that effed-up image of me you fantasize about and wish someday I will become.


Sorry I'm being snarky, but I've been the girlfriend that is "too fat" more than once (see images above).

dlish

marlons mom - ronald reagan pursued you vigorously?

but seriously, i agree with you. if he started dating her when she was obese, that he's got no right to ask her to transform into his latest fantasy.

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An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

Marlon's Mom

Shhhh! No one's supposed to know!

I was on a college internship in DC when that pic was taken, but Ronnie had such a... flat personality (HA!) that it just didn't work out for us.

We'll surely never know, but I hope my story resonates with others - "fat" is in the eye of the beholder, but sometimes the beholder has terribly distorted eyesight.

Plan9

I think that a consensus of male TFP users would declare that you are, in fact, not fat and that they would react to you like the cartoon wolf reacted to the cartoon redhead.

Also: Damn, girl.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Marlon's Mom

Hee hee heeeee!

Thank you!

rome

It seems very notable that one biological fact has been ignored here. Men are basically "hardwired" to be aroused visually. Is it realistic to tell a man that IF he loves his woman, that the size and shape of the body to which he is going to project his passion presenting a diminishing stimulus is something that he can "get over"?

Wes Mantooth

I think that might hold some water in the early stages of a relationship but its ridiculous to think that men can't become attracted to a women for reasons other then her physical appearance. Having a girl with a spectacular body is great and becomes the icing on the cake when you find out there is something substantial beneath...when there isn't it gets old really quickly. The sex becomes routine and boring and you're left with what? Arm candy who doesn't even get you off anymore and thinks a deep conversation revolves around discussing the drama on this weeks American Idol? If men where that susceptible to biological urges nothing but looks would matter and no relationship would survive once the sex gets old, age sets in or somebody more attractive comes along. We men can and do get past our biological urges all the time, it certainly isn't an unheard of or unrealistic concept to continue placing a high value on a relationship once looks start to diminish.

Regardless what other option does a guy have in a situation like this? You can't force somebody to lose weight or change their appearance because you want them too. So what are you left with? You come to the conclusion that she means so much more to you to you then a great pair of tits and accept her "flaws" and all or you break it off and find somebody who does have a great pair of tits. I would bet most people would choose the former rather than the latter more often then not if they are really in love.

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Cernunnos

If you are unable to experience the same level of attraction to your girlfriend, you should first ascertain whether or not that is solely due to the obesity. Could you be reacting negatively to her sexual inhibition, or perhaps a perceived lack of effort on her part to physically improve? If so, maybe you could cease drawing attention to her obesity, express more physical attention, and initiate sex with greater frequency. You might not be as excited in the bedroom at first, but if she senses that you still want her, I would guess that both her mood and willingness to lose weight will naturally improve.

I can back up this statement. The physique depicted in the two photos approaches my ideal and is highly attractive, particularly your facial features and thighs. Of course, nudes are required for a more informed opinion, as the clothing interferes with visual assessment.