Quote:
Originally Posted by Wes Mantooth
All I can really add is this, either you want to be with her or you don't. If she doesn't want to lose weight she isn't going to, if she doesn't want to tackle her depression she isn't going to its that simple. It would seem the ball is in your court at this point. Either you accept her as she is and encourage her to get healthy for her own sake or use it as a clue that the two of you are not ment to be and move on.
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Makia
As I see it--and I'm not trying to be insensitive or anything--this is your problem, and not hers. Sure, she should probably try to lose weight for health reasons, as probably a lot of us could stand to, but she should NOT be put in a position where she feels she has to for you to be attracted to her.
|
Obviously, this is an old thread and the OP seems to have found the guidance he was looking for, but we've still never heard (or seen) how "obese" this poor woman is. We don't know
her side of anything - we know only what her boyfriend has told us.
Take a look at these pictures (crap image quality, sorry):
That's me in 1985. My longtime boyfriend at the time complained that I was too heavy (oddly enough, I weighed 15 lbs. MORE when we met, four years earlier).
Fast forward about five years. I'm still the same shape/size. I meet a man who pursues me vigorously. After about four months of dating, he begins complaining that I'm too heavy, and why don't I go to the gym with him, and I should eat more Lean Cuisine meals and
"I'd like to be able to see your ribs" ...
Somewhere in this thread, the OP stated that his girlfriend was heavy when they first began dating (I don't recall seeing anything about her suddenly getting ginormously obese
after the fact, although this could be the case), so he apparently didn't think her weight was an issue when they met or he wouldn't have pursued the relationship.
So... exactly
who changed?
Everyone has their own idea of what an ideal physique is. If you find bones that jut out to be attractive, do not "settle" for a thin woman and try to get her to emaciate herself for you.
If someone's physique is more important to you than your feelings for the person, you need to recognize that your priorities are messed up and you need to deal with your
own issues - don't lay them at someone else's feet.
Bottom line - love me for what and who I am RIGHT NOW, not for that effed-up image of me you fantasize about and wish someday I will become.
Sorry I'm being snarky, but I've been the girlfriend that is "too fat" more than once (see images above).