Women that are self-conscious about their bodies and sexuality....thread - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

SugahBritches · 09-30-2006, 06:23 AM

Some women are self-conscience about their bodies or maybe even certain parts. I personally like the female body. I'm with the men on this one, it can be very sensual and desirable to look at.

I look at a good many pics of porn or some resque` pics of women. And some can be so sexy if the pic is done in class. Although I don't mind seeing the intimate parts of the female body, I would just rather see the sexiness in how she portrays herself. To me, that is what stimulates or is desirable.

I've shown some resque` pics of myself to some folks, however, I've not done the down and dirty stuff. I find myself alittle more reserved. I don't think it's because I'm self-conscience so much as wanting some areas to belong only to me and the boss.

I know some women that still can't undress infront of their spouses. I might of been this way the few months of marriage, but come on.......over 26 yrs? That I don't understand. It's really confusing to me.

However, I do know some women have no problem showing anything or saying anything. That is pretty free spirited. Not that anything is wrong with that. I count myself as free spirited.... but with some limitations.

So, ladies..........how do you feel about your bodies or sexuality in general?

And gents, what do you feel about women that are self-conscience to those that are uninhibited?

Is there a boundary that can't be crossed or just the nature of some people and how they perceive it?

ngdawg · 09-30-2006, 07:26 AM

I'm pretty self-conscious about certain things, ie; my misshapen stomach, my neck, but on the whole, I know I look damned good for my age, albeit I do work on it a bit and I do plan on having some 'updating' in the near future.
I have done 'body as art' photography for a few years and only earlier this year stopped (although thinking of starting up again). It's a fantastic boost to the ego when photos come out good.

I have some self-imposed rules for my own work, most notably no crotch shots. I think they cheapen the work; while most of my work shows complete nudity, more often than not, it shows nothing more than breasts(and mostly covered by a hand, etc.). It's how the work is done that proves more provocative, not the actual showing of parts.
I've never had a problem undressing/dressing in front of the spouse when times were good except when I was overweight.
Whatever self-image negatives I have I feel stem from the unreal women that are in porn, erotica, etc. They're all the same age, heavily airbrushed, made up(there's even a vid on the net showing a woman getting her crotch 'touched-up' by a make-up artist) and full of silicone/saline. They get their asses bleached, spend inordinate amounts of time in gyms and we're supposed to 'compete' with that?
As for inhibitions, I don't think I have any when it comes down to the getting down.

Although I don't think I'd do it in a roomful of people, that's probably the closest to inhibition as I'd get.

Willravel · 09-30-2006, 07:30 AM

A lot of men are the same way. It's a part of a life long discovery exploring the sensual aspects of your humanity.

SugahBritches · 09-30-2006, 07:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ngdawg

Whatever self-image negatives I have I feel stem from the unreal women that are in porn, erotica, etc. They're all the same age, heavily airbrushed, made up(there's even a vid on the net showing a woman getting her crotch 'touched-up' by a make-up artist) and full of silicone/saline. They get their asses bleached, spend inordinate amounts of time in gyms and we're supposed to 'compete' with that?

I'm not even going to start trying to compete with that! LOL! And silicone for the coochie? OMG.............for crying out loud. Are you serious???? Not heard of that, but I'm not surprised. I wonder what is the lasting results for that will be in the future?? EGADS!!!

I have seen some porn sites where the average day Jane shows her stuff in creative ways and it is more interesting to view, IMO.

But, as far as the art view, I'm with you NG. Provocative, sensual, and desirable can be drawn without the intimate graphic details.

ngdawg · 09-30-2006, 07:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willravel

A lot of men are the same way. It's a part of a life long discovery exploring the sensual aspects of your humanity.

But do you hold yourself up in comparison against the characters shown in porn media or media in general? The men I know kind of do-they feel they're not in shape enough or not 'big' enough or not young enough, yet when I lament the passing of my former younger physical self, they tell me to 'knock it off'.

Willravel · 09-30-2006, 08:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ngdawg

But do you hold yourself up in comparison against the characters shown in porn media or media in general? The men I know kind of do-they feel they're not in shape enough or not 'big' enough or not young enough, yet when I lament the passing of my former younger physical self, they tell me to 'knock it off'.

I did at one time. When I recognize a male shape that is superior to mine, I will occasionally think that I should work harder. As for the men that tell you to know it off? Don't let them fool you, everyone laments. I'm not sure how the volume of lament between the sexes compares - which is what I took to be the basis of this thread - but there is lament on either side of the Y chromosome. When they tell you to knock it off, it might be becuase they are trying to bury their own feelings on the subject.

shesus · 09-30-2006, 08:07 AM

When I was younger I was not really happy with my body. But I've learned to accept it after time. I think that people are hard on themselves and want to be perfect...that doesn't exist. There is always going to be something.

As for undressing in front of people...yea don't really have that problem. My husband is probably sick of seeing me naked.

Anyway, I think media plays a huge role in how people perceive themselves. It is unfair to compare yourself to airbrushed, altered through plastic surgery women. I don't do it anymore.

Sultana · 09-30-2006, 08:30 AM

I'm happier with my body now than I ever was when I was younger. I think I look better now, plus I am less likely to succumb to the "Comparision Sickness".

I think a lot of that also comes from doing burlesque, and seeing all types of women in all stages of preparation for the stage. I see them backstage, nude or damn close in full fluorescent light (very cruel), and I can see all the bulges, wrinkles, pimples, bad posture,

bad hair-covered wig hairpieces...and many of then giving great tips on how to hide all that stuff. Then they go on the stage and look magnificent. Because they know How To Work everything to their advantage for those few minutes--makeup, lighting, costuming (yes, there are right and wrong ways to chose and wear pasties!), distance from the audience (thank god), and of course, personality/character projection.

I am not into cooch display for print (it's not even a possibility for stage). I don't like the gynecologist's-eye-view that so many males seem to enjoy so much. But then, I'm not a guy.

tenchi069 · 09-30-2006, 08:35 AM

I am 28 and have learned to accept myself for who I am. The things I want/can change about my physical appearance ( fat/lean muscle ) I work on to change to my personal desire. Not for anyone else, just for me. The things I cannot change, within reason and safety, such as my height, features that would require surgery, etc, I accept as it is me. Were it not for those things that make me unique I would be someone else, and having spent 28+ years with me, I've kinda grown a fondness and don't want to be anyone else.

surferlove007 · 09-30-2006, 08:56 AM

Society places such an emphasis on looking a certain way it is almost impossible for women not to fall into this brain-washing technique placed on us. I used to be self-concious about my looks but in time I've adjusted, I'm 18 so I'm probably hitting my prime looks right now, maybe into mid to late twenties then it'll change, but I'm fine with it. As long as I can maintain myself to keep my image healthy I'll be fine. Hopefully other women can just learn if they maintain a happy place for their body there should be nothing to worry about.

ngdawg · 09-30-2006, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ghoastgirl1

Society places such an emphasis on looking a certain way it is almost impossible for women not to fall into this brain-washing technique placed on us. I used to be self-concious about my looks but in time I've adjusted, I'm 18 so I'm probably hitting my prime looks right now, maybe into mid to late twenties then it'll change, but I'm fine with it. As long as I can maintain myself to keep my image healthy I'll be fine. Hopefully other women can just learn if they maintain a happy place for their body there should be nothing to worry about.

Trust me, at 18, you are far from hitting your 'prime' in looks.(that actually gave me a giggle to read) As you get older, you will get more confidence (hopefully), the 'babyfat' will be replaced by real cheekbones and you learn more about what to accentuate, both physically and mentally. You'll learn more about what to give, how to please and how to communicate with your (future) lovers and what you don't want or do want in one. All this actually shows in your outward appearance daily.
Physical appearance is ever-changing; you don't jump from 18 to 27 in some radical change. It's subtle and life affects that greatly. But you're on the right track if you're taking care of yourself now and continue to.

surferlove007 · 09-30-2006, 09:39 AM

Aw thanks, thats really helpful, before when I was younger I mentally panicked about getting older and somehow thought when I turned 30 it was all downhill from there, but luckily it won't be that way. My mom always told me, honey you're the youngest you'll look now, enjoy it. So mentally scrambled the brain.

Siege · 09-30-2006, 09:59 AM

I can agree with Will and say that males worry about this too.

I'm in better shape than most people, and the past year was the first in which I was not underweight. But deep down, all I can see is what I still want to do to my body. That might actually be a problem

Maybe I have a mild case of bigorexia?

ngdawg · 09-30-2006, 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ghoastgirl1

Aw thanks, thats really helpful, before when I was younger I mentally panicked about getting older and somehow thought when I turned 30 it was all downhill from there, but luckily it won't be that way. My mom always told me, honey you're the youngest you'll look now, enjoy it. So mentally scrambled the brain.

Well....the woman in my avatar is 51....
My mom said it'd only get better...my mom wins

SugahBritches · 09-30-2006, 10:53 AM

I've learned to focus on my assets and kinda camoflage that which I don't want to show. They say after your 50's you go downhill. Well, I find that with most women, they look prettier. But, you are right in thinking that somethings are just not going to change............like gravity and crows feet!

I laugh when I hear that phrase, "Older women are like expensive wine, they age to perfection." HA! Must be our personality!

Jinn · 09-30-2006, 01:16 PM

"Women that are self-conscience about their bodies and sexuality...thread" could have been shortened to "Women."

I've yet to find a woman (or any person, I guess) who couldn't find something about their physical body to complain about.

SugahBritches · 09-30-2006, 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JinnKai

"Women that are self-conscience about their bodies and sexuality...thread" could have been shortened to "Women."

But, that would be so many topics that even I couldn't keep up with.

However, I am so glad that those two sentences made it's mark in this thread. Anymore elaboration and I couldn't follow you.........teacher.

Toaster126 · 09-30-2006, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SugahBritches

But, that would be so many topics that even I couldn't keep up with.

However, I am so glad that those two sentences made it's mark in this thread. Anymore elaboration and I couldn't follow you.........teacher.

That's not helpful...

As far as the whole women self-confidence with body image thing, I learned early on in my life that women were usually much more concerned with all that stuff, so I didn't have to be. I mean, hell, if they are so concerned about what they are working with, all my imperfections are invisible.

SugahBritches · 09-30-2006, 04:04 PM

What you don't understand Toaster is that from waaaay back before you and I were even thought of, there was a standard on how either women were to perform or act. Not saying that it was all "men" that had this concept for I think there were many women that contributed to the "standard".

It's not that this thread is pointing out a concept that is right or wrong but only that it "is". I will say this, this thread was not intended to offend either party (male or female) but I can see that sometimes one can perceive it that way.

I can elaborate more, if you wish. But, as some know.......I can get bogged down in too much detail. And I surely don't want to bore anyone.

spectre · 09-30-2006, 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ngdawg

But do you hold yourself up in comparison against the characters shown in porn media or media in general? The men I know kind of do-they feel they're not in shape enough or not 'big' enough or not young enough, yet when I lament the passing of my former younger physical self, they tell me to 'knock it off'.

I don't have a problem with any of those, but what always gets me is I have a lot of scarring on my back and good amount on my chest. I have very few that are visible if you were to just see me on the street, but once the shirt comes off, I get really selfconscious. When I'm seeing someone, I go very far out of my way to let them know the extent of it, because it's a lot to have to handle, even if you're prepared for it. Once I get that initial reaction out of the way, then I'm completely comfortable.

Sugarmouse · 10-01-2006, 02:43 PM

I am self conscious about my belly....I am not in the best shape right now!...but every man I have been out with has thought i am beautiful..and i have my good points....no one is perfect and I do not let my imperfections affect my sexuality

Jinn · 10-01-2006, 04:31 PM

Quote:

However, I am so glad that those two sentences made it's mark in this thread. Anymore elaboration and I couldn't follow you.........teacher.

The point was that everyone has a source of self-loathing; being female shouldn't be an excuse for being self-conscious more than any other excuse.

From Pyschology Today:

Quote:

A negative body image develops over the course of your life, so changing it can take time and effort. Suggestions for improving your body image include:

* Reflect on your experiences and try to unravel the development of your body image from childhood.
* Talk about feelings and experiences with other women who have similar concerns.
* Make a pact with yourself to treat your body with respect, which includes giving it enough food and rest.
* Give yourself a break from women’s magazines and the mass media for a while.
* Try some form of physical activity purely for the fun of it, not as a means of weight loss.
* Stop weighing yourself.
* Change your goal from weight loss to improving your health.
* Get informed by reading up on body image issues.

Gilda · 10-01-2006, 05:03 PM

Of course I'm self-conscious about how I look. I spend 15 hours a week standing in front of groups of young adults talking to them. The half that actually pay attention sometimes look at me.

I'm not the least bit reluctant to be nude in front of my wife, but we do both find lingerie, on me at least, to be much more interesting and sexy than simple nudity most of the time.

Otherwise, yeah, I'm aware that I'm too thin, flat-chested, no hips to speak of, a figure that better resembles a pre-pubescent boy than a 30 year old woman, an oddly shaped face with practically no chin and a nose that's too thin and pointy. Since my accident I've been wearing long sleeves to avoid drawing attention to my badly scarred left arm and hand. My wife and sister say that it isn't noticable if you aren't looking for it, but that's not really relevant. I see it, I notice it, and that makes me self-conscious and uncomfortable, especially when anybody else notices.

Gilda

SugahBritches · 10-02-2006, 12:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JinnKai

The point was that everyone has a source of self-loathing; being female shouldn't be an excuse for being self-conscious more than any other excuse.

I agree. Although I've not really experienced self-loathing, I can understand it. But, self-conscious (OMG.......I just realized I've spelt that wrong all this time! Jeeze!

) ...........oh man, where was I? I've lost my whole train of thought! Egads.

Okay, Let me start again....I think being self-conscious does not only lie on the outer appearances but can be something that is within us too. Of course coping with the inner mind might be more complex.

I like that link, btw. Thanks for posting it.

GILDA:

I think I got the jest of some of your post. And I won't even try and attempt to figure out the other. I'm afraid I was somewhat confused by some of your words. But, it's probably me! I can't sleep and that is why I am up at this ungodly hour.

Jinn · 10-02-2006, 07:34 AM

When you break it down semantically, I don't think we're really talking about being "self-conscious." I'm self-conscious, but I'm not constantly berating myself for being fat, ugly, unintelligent, etc. That's negative self-talk. To me, being self-conscious is simply knowing your realistic limits, physically and mentally, and working around them.

Negative self-talk is really the problem here. Its when you continue to re-affirm your negative beliefs about yourself by repetition. As humans, we learn things very well be repetition. We learn rules, cultural norms, and obey laws because of repetition. We've had them drilled into us enough times and/or had the punishments inflicted enough times that we remember not to do it in the future. If you've ever tried to teach someone, you soon realize that the most universally applicable method is simply to repeat the lesson (albeit in different forms) until the concept is learned. In the same way, negative self-talk lets us repeat over-and-over the negative things about ourselves until we believe them.

If I told myself 50 times a day that I was ugly, I'd not only start to believe it, but I'd start to act it. It's sad, really.

When I worked at a sales company, one day of training was focused on "being a good salesman." A well-dressed and presumably effective salesman came in and told us his routine - every morning he would look in the morning and tell himself how great he was. "I AM a great salesman. And damn, I look good too." He said it took him about 5 minutes in the morning, but it made a world of difference. When he didn't do it, he'd have a horrible day at work. When he did do it, a minor setback like a customer who got angry with him wouldn't cause any major disturbance. He knew he was still a good salesman.

Although the job was wretched, I at least owe some of my positive outlook to training like that. People are only as happy as the decide to be. If I decide I'm going to have a bad day and that I'm fat - I will be.

All that said, I'll close with some random advice on a Google search for preventing negative self talk:

Quote:

1. Personalize your affirmations with with words like "I," "me," and "my." You can't always control circumstances or other people, so make your affirmations about what you can control---yourself. Make your affirmations state your own goals, wants, and values---not someone else's.
2. Some authors say affirmations are best stated in the present tense, because, if affirmations are in future tense ("I will...") your subconscious mind feels no urgency to act NOW. If you feel hypocritical stating affirmations in the present tense (as in "I am slender and healthy") then state your affirmations as a process (as in "Each day I am become more slender and healthier.")
3. Make your affirmations believable and realistic so that you can say them with sincerity. Begin with small, easily achievable goals, and work your way up to bigger accomplishments. "My self control is perfect." is probably more believable as "I have self-control most of the time."
4. State affirmations in the positive. To say "I don't eat fatty foods," only focuses your attention on the behavior you want to avoid. Instead say "I eat nutritious foods."
5. Make affirmations short and easy to remember. Catchy slogans stay with us longer than essays.
6. Repeat your positive affirmations often and positive thinking will become routine.

In addition, I think anyone who admitted being self-conscious in this thread would benefit from my virtual version of the mirror example above. Post here: http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=109153.

Vindicated0411 · 10-03-2006, 10:03 PM

I am 20 right now and in a relationship of 2 years. I am about 5'5 and 120-ish pounds. I am unhappy with my body. I will undress in front of my boyfriend but I have a tendacy to hide if I can help it, i.e. hold my shirt in front of me if I am putting on another shirt, or turning around when I take off my shirt. I am just discontent with my body shape and what I consider "pudgy." I am told by everyone I look fine and am in great shape. Likewise it all boils down to self perception. I look in the mirror and see fat not curves. My boyfriend is a sweetheart, he says he loves my body. He also tells me he prefers "a little meat on his woman" and that it gives me curves which he finds sexy. My tendacy to hide has ran into some problems like when we have sex I prefer no light or little light. Sometimes he prefers light so "he can see me." I usually end up winning just because he knows I am uncomfortable and he doesn't want to upset me. Sometimes it has caused quite a damper because he wants to see me. I even hate the beach because I hate "swim suits." I have had eating disorders in the past so I am paranoid of my weight. Currently I have overcome the eating disorders but my self esteem is still very negative about my body image.

Toaster126 · 10-03-2006, 10:37 PM

Yeah, "self-conscience" is another one of those psychology words that has been perverted from it's actual meaning. Usually when people are talking about being self-conscience, they are talking about being excessively self-conscience.

Mantus · 10-04-2006, 01:11 AM

To answer all questions...

I feel sexy as fuck. I am aware that by some standards I can put on more muscle, that I am a bit short, that my dick isn't all that big but all those things just don't effect the intensity at which I express my sexuality.

I really enjoy sexually confident women. Girls who's body image problems effect their ability to fulfill sexual desires are really too much of a hastle for me...I've tried to deal with it but finally realized that it's THEIR issue and not my cross to bear.

As far as exebitionism - whatever allows a woman to unleash her sexual potential is a good thing. Whether it's photos, whips or gangbangs, it's all good. Doesn't mean I'll be into everything but I don't judge girls on it and if our dessires don't click I'll introduce her to the right people.

cadre · 10-06-2006, 04:49 PM

I am still young but I think I have a great self image. I feel sexy most of the time and my attitude tends to reflect that apparently. I think the fact that I am in a great relationship now really helps that too. It seems like in the just the past couple years my figure has filled out and I now love the shape of my body.
Being that I am a photographer and I like nude shots I have given the concept a shot. I like both the male and female bodies but I prefer the tasteful displays to anything else. Granted there is something to be said for the bear all photos and some are very apealing, but I find myself appreciating the unseen more. The concept of hiding things is an important aspect of photography, I was always taught that what you can't see is more important to the viewer than the obvious.
I believe that I am a very open person both in the manner of what I will discuss in public and what I will do in public. I may be wrong there but I do try to be uninhibited as much as possible.

Ustwo · 10-06-2006, 09:01 PM

The title of this thread implies there are women out there who are not self conscience about thier bodies. Maybe they exist, but not that I've known.

qtpye4u84 · 10-06-2006, 09:31 PM

I was the lil girl that would ride my Big wheel around the block naked when I was younger.
In a snap I would be naked.
Now.....I am ok with being naked in front of people but I have a lil bit of a gut and that makes me a lil shy. I place my hands in that area when I'm in a swim suit. I love being naked though, I sun tan naked on my deck. I would be a stripper if I had
1) No morals 2)No gut
I have the boobs and the body.
I would love to join a Nudists colony thought of it since I was 12.

Daniel_ · 10-07-2006, 01:01 AM

I realise I'm not a woman, but even so...

I am overweight - not monstrously obese, but still far from slender.

I used to be really worried about what people thought of me - not actually enough to get off my fat arse and go for a run or back to the gym, but still; you know.

And then I realised that was the most self obsessed and selfish attitude imaginable.

Nobody gives a shit about whether I look fat.

For me to believe that everyone out there has nothing better to do than be worried that I've put on (or lest) a few pounds is the very worst and most self destructive type of navel gazing.

I stopped giving a rat's arse about whether anyone cared if I am fat, and started caring (for myself) about things like wearig clothes that fit well, and having a decent haircut and a shave, and getting some decent aftershave.

I realised that you get more compliments for being wel turned out than you ever do for being slender.

All in all, I guess what I'm saying is - don't worry about your body, polish your shoes and iron your shirt.

This has been a public service announcement brought to you by "Fat and Tidy" productions.

Toaster126 · 10-07-2006, 01:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by qtpye4u84

I would be a stripper if I had
1) No morals

Being a stripper has nothing to do with whether you have morals or not. Are you trying to say you would if yours were different?

Deltona Couple · 10-07-2006, 05:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shesus

When I was younger I was not really happy with my body. But I've learned to accept it after time. I think that people are hard on themselves and want to be perfect...that doesn't exist. There is always going to be something.

As for undressing in front of people...yea don't really have that problem. My husband is probably sick of seeing me naked.

Anyway, I think media plays a huge role in how people perceive themselves. It is unfair to compare yourself to airbrushed, altered through plastic surgery women. I don't do it anymore.

Shesus, Personally I think you are gorgeous!.....

I swear that if I were single, and so was Sugah, I'd be askin you out on a date! I love your threads and posts. You make me think, and I like that in a person!

As far as the subject at hand, I actually have met some women that were "curvy" or "pudgy" or "slightly overweight" or whatever term you want to give it, that are quite comfortable with their bodies, and the way they look. But I do agree with the majority that MOST women are very conscious about their appearance, if not self-conscious. In my opinion it is a matter of ones up-bringing, and the people they surround themselves with, as well as the majority being the media. Face it, commercials pressure everyone, men and women alike to look like Ken and Barbie. You don't exactly see very many overweight models walking down the runway in Versace! lol.
Personally, I like all kinds of body styles. I see the beauty in the runway model, the porn star, AND the attractive "curvy" woman in the produce section of the grocery store. It makes no difference to me. I will admit that in the past several years, when it comes to "porn" I have been leaning much more toward the candid types. The snapshot of the girl on the beach, paparazzi type I guess you might call it. Untouched beauty, save for the hand of God.
Now saying that, if any of the ladies on this board would like an honest opinion from me, please PM me with an attached group of photographs for my personal use and evaluation of your beauty....
Shesus? Sugah? anyone else care to get an honest evaluation???

SugahBritches · 10-08-2006, 05:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deltona Couple

Now saying that, if any of the ladies on this board would like an honest opinion from me, please PM me with an attached group of photographs for my personal use and evaluation of your beauty....
Shesus? Sugah? anyone else care to get an honest evaluation???

LMAO! Hehehehe.............Sure, why the hell not!

It ain't like I'm too self-conscious not to show one.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ustwo

The title of this thread implies there are women out there who are not self conscience about thier bodies. Maybe they exist, but not that I've known.

UsTwo, you really need to get out more buddy.

The girls that I am around everyday, have a tendency to show more than needed. They seem to push the dress code to the edge. 'Course these are beautiful HS girls with a lot of self confidence.

There are many confident women out there. I personally see them everyday and in all sizes, shapes and ages. Most conscience women wear clothes that emphazise their assests and play down, if you will, what might not be considered their best qualities. Which in return, gives them the confidence that they need.

I think men and women are a little picky about certain parts of their bodies or how they want to appear to others. Or atleast portray the way they want to look like. But, as UsTwo just said, that is what I seem to know with what folks I am around or see in my everyday life. But, I'm one of those people that can feel comfortable with many walks of life out there and not feel threatened or alarmed just because they dress different from me. Which reminds me of a story................

One day the boss and I went to a car show and I started talking to some bikers that were there. The boss had noticed that I wasn't with him or even right behind him. He looked and saw a bit of my red top and came closer and was becoming alarmed when he saw the chains, crossbars, black jackets, long haired mean looking men. Until he came into the half circle behind me and noticed that they were all talking and grinning with me. I turned and said, "Hey dear." I turned back and thanked the bikers for answering my questions and said good bye.

The boss looked at me with wide eyes and said, "You are crazy dear. You will just walk up to anyone and talk." I grinned and he started smiling but he says I scare him.

I did tell him that once you hang out with rednecks your whole life, what can really be scarier?????? Heh.

Ustwo · 10-08-2006, 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SugahBritches

UsTwo, you really need to get out more buddy.

The girls that I am around everyday, have a tendency to show more than needed. They seem to push the dress code to the edge. 'Course these are beautiful HS girls with a lot of self confidence.

A lot of good looking women who flaunt it still have body issues. Don't confuse confidence with contentment.

Quote:

There are many confident women out there. I personally see them everyday and in all sizes, shapes and ages. Most conscience women wear clothes that emphazise their assests and play down, if you will, what might not be considered their best qualities. Which in return, gives them the confidence that they need.
.

Once you get inside their heads, you will find a lot of these 'confident' women still have issues. Just because the issues don't rule their lives and they don't wear only muu muus doesn't mean they are really happy with their looks.

surferlove007 · 10-08-2006, 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ngdawg

Well....the woman in my avatar is 51....
My mom said it'd only get better...my mom wins

Wow, I Wish I had that kind of support from my mom.
Since coming to college I have been completely concerned with gaining weight and the whole freshman 15 sort of deal.
I've never been comfortable being naked infront of people, hardly when I have sex.
When I was younger a guy made fun of how I looked downstairs and from then on I lost complete confidence.

Whats up with guys doing that, I wish they would understand that such small statements have such fundamental impacts on women and possibly the rest of their sexual development.
Not all women are designed to look like playboy bunnies.

Toaster126 · 10-09-2006, 12:48 AM

[QUOTE=ghoastgirl1]Whats up with guys doing that, I wish they would understand that such small statements have such fundamental impacts on women and possibly the rest of their sexual development.[QUOTE]

Isn't it the women's responsibility to not let small statements fuck up their mental health and self-image? Hint: it is.

Gilda · 10-09-2006, 02:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toaster126

Isn't it the women's responsibility to not let small statements fuck up their mental health and self-image? Hint: it is.

Yes. This doesn't justify their being made in the first place.

Gilda

SugahBritches · 10-09-2006, 04:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gilda

Yes. This doesn't justify their being made in the first place.

Gilda

Well, as long as there are women around with issues (and some can be with a male counterpart---heh.), men will always have something else to talk about. And that's not necessarily a bad thing.

UsTwo, I'm not confusing anything. I'm only making my comments/thoughts like you are. However, I do agree with you that there is usually something women (and men) want to change about themselves and not all of it is bodily related.

09-30-2006, 06:23 AM	#1 (permalink)
SugahBritches Insane	Women that are self-conscious about their bodies and sexuality....thread Some women are self-conscience about their bodies or maybe even certain parts. I personally like the female body. I'm with the men on this one, it can be very sensual and desirable to look at. I look at a good many pics of porn or some resque` pics of women. And some can be so sexy if the pic is done in class. Although I don't mind seeing the intimate parts of the female body, I would just rather see the sexiness in how she portrays herself. To me, that is what stimulates or is desirable. I've shown some resque` pics of myself to some folks, however, I've not done the down and dirty stuff. I find myself alittle more reserved. I don't think it's because I'm self-conscience so much as wanting some areas to belong only to me and the boss. I know some women that still can't undress infront of their spouses. I might of been this way the few months of marriage, but come on.......over 26 yrs? That I don't understand. It's really confusing to me. However, I do know some women have no problem showing anything or saying anything. That is pretty free spirited. Not that anything is wrong with that. I count myself as free spirited.... but with some limitations. So, ladies..........how do you feel about your bodies or sexuality in general? And gents, what do you feel about women that are self-conscience to those that are uninhibited? Is there a boundary that can't be crossed or just the nature of some people and how they perceive it?

09-30-2006, 07:26 AM	#2 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	I'm pretty self-conscious about certain things, ie; my misshapen stomach, my neck, but on the whole, I know I look damned good for my age, albeit I do work on it a bit and I do plan on having some 'updating' in the near future. I have done 'body as art' photography for a few years and only earlier this year stopped (although thinking of starting up again). It's a fantastic boost to the ego when photos come out good. I have some self-imposed rules for my own work, most notably no crotch shots. I think they cheapen the work; while most of my work shows complete nudity, more often than not, it shows nothing more than breasts(and mostly covered by a hand, etc.). It's how the work is done that proves more provocative, not the actual showing of parts. I've never had a problem undressing/dressing in front of the spouse when times were good except when I was overweight. Whatever self-image negatives I have I feel stem from the unreal women that are in porn, erotica, etc. They're all the same age, heavily airbrushed, made up(there's even a vid on the net showing a woman getting her crotch 'touched-up' by a make-up artist) and full of silicone/saline. They get their asses bleached, spend inordinate amounts of time in gyms and we're supposed to 'compete' with that? As for inhibitions, I don't think I have any when it comes down to the getting down. Although I don't think I'd do it in a roomful of people, that's probably the closest to inhibition as I'd get. __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

09-30-2006, 08:07 AM	#7 (permalink)
shesus Fancy Location: Chicago	When I was younger I was not really happy with my body. But I've learned to accept it after time. I think that people are hard on themselves and want to be perfect...that doesn't exist. There is always going to be something. As for undressing in front of people...yea don't really have that problem. My husband is probably sick of seeing me naked. Anyway, I think media plays a huge role in how people perceive themselves. It is unfair to compare yourself to airbrushed, altered through plastic surgery women. I don't do it anymore. __________________ Whatever did happen to your soul? I heard you sold it Choose Heaven for the weather and Hell for the company

09-30-2006, 08:30 AM	#8 (permalink)
Sultana Falling Angel Location: L.A. L.A. land	I'm happier with my body now than I ever was when I was younger. I think I look better now, plus I am less likely to succumb to the "Comparision Sickness". I think a lot of that also comes from doing burlesque, and seeing all types of women in all stages of preparation for the stage. I see them backstage, nude or damn close in full fluorescent light (very cruel), and I can see all the bulges, wrinkles, pimples, bad posture, bad hair-covered wig hairpieces...and many of then giving great tips on how to hide all that stuff. Then they go on the stage and look magnificent. Because they know How To Work everything to their advantage for those few minutes--makeup, lighting, costuming (yes, there are right and wrong ways to chose and wear pasties!), distance from the audience (thank god), and of course, personality/character projection. I am not into cooch display for print (it's not even a possibility for stage). I don't like the gynecologist's-eye-view that so many males seem to enjoy so much. But then, I'm not a guy. __________________ "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." - Matt Groening My goal? To fulfill my potential. Last edited by Sultana; 09-30-2006 at 08:33 AM..

09-30-2006, 08:35 AM	#9 (permalink)
tenchi069 Lost Location: One step closer to the padded cell...	I am 28 and have learned to accept myself for who I am. The things I want/can change about my physical appearance ( fat/lean muscle ) I work on to change to my personal desire. Not for anyone else, just for me. The things I cannot change, within reason and safety, such as my height, features that would require surgery, etc, I accept as it is me. Were it not for those things that make me unique I would be someone else, and having spent 28+ years with me, I've kinda grown a fondness and don't want to be anyone else. __________________ ERROR- PLBSAK Problem Lies Between Seat and Keyboard.

09-30-2006, 07:30 AM	#3 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	A lot of men are the same way. It's a part of a life long discovery exploring the sensual aspects of your humanity.

09-30-2006, 08:56 AM	#10 (permalink)
surferlove007 Junkie	Society places such an emphasis on looking a certain way it is almost impossible for women not to fall into this brain-washing technique placed on us. I used to be self-concious about my looks but in time I've adjusted, I'm 18 so I'm probably hitting my prime looks right now, maybe into mid to late twenties then it'll change, but I'm fine with it. As long as I can maintain myself to keep my image healthy I'll be fine. Hopefully other women can just learn if they maintain a happy place for their body there should be nothing to worry about.

09-30-2006, 09:39 AM	#12 (permalink)
surferlove007 Junkie	Aw thanks, thats really helpful, before when I was younger I mentally panicked about getting older and somehow thought when I turned 30 it was all downhill from there, but luckily it won't be that way. My mom always told me, honey you're the youngest you'll look now, enjoy it. So mentally scrambled the brain. Last edited by surferlove007; 09-30-2006 at 09:40 AM.. Reason: needed to add something

09-30-2006, 09:59 AM	#13 (permalink)
Siege is a tiger Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada	I can agree with Will and say that males worry about this too. I'm in better shape than most people, and the past year was the first in which I was not underweight. But deep down, all I can see is what I still want to do to my body. That might actually be a problem Maybe I have a mild case of bigorexia? __________________ "Your name's Geek? Do you know the origin of the term? A geek is someone who bites the heads off chickens at a circus. I would never let you suck my dick with a name like Geek" --Kevin Smith This part just makes my posts easier to find

09-30-2006, 10:53 AM	#15 (permalink)
SugahBritches Insane	I've learned to focus on my assets and kinda camoflage that which I don't want to show. They say after your 50's you go downhill. Well, I find that with most women, they look prettier. But, you are right in thinking that somethings are just not going to change............like gravity and crows feet! I laugh when I hear that phrase, "Older women are like expensive wine, they age to perfection." HA! Must be our personality!

09-30-2006, 01:16 PM	#16 (permalink)
Jinn Lover - Protector - Teacher Location: Seattle, WA	"Women that are self-conscience about their bodies and sexuality...thread" could have been shortened to "Women." I've yet to find a woman (or any person, I guess) who couldn't find something about their physical body to complain about. __________________ "I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

09-30-2006, 04:04 PM	#19 (permalink)
SugahBritches Insane	What you don't understand Toaster is that from waaaay back before you and I were even thought of, there was a standard on how either women were to perform or act. Not saying that it was all "men" that had this concept for I think there were many women that contributed to the "standard". It's not that this thread is pointing out a concept that is right or wrong but only that it "is". I will say this, this thread was not intended to offend either party (male or female) but I can see that sometimes one can perceive it that way. I can elaborate more, if you wish. But, as some know.......I can get bogged down in too much detail. And I surely don't want to bore anyone.

10-01-2006, 02:43 PM	#21 (permalink)
Sugarmouse Insane Location: Preston lancs(i know i know)	I am self conscious about my belly....I am not in the best shape right now!...but every man I have been out with has thought i am beautiful..and i have my good points....no one is perfect and I do not let my imperfections affect my sexuality __________________ Sugarmouse=Festered

10-01-2006, 05:03 PM	#23 (permalink)
Gilda 32 flavors and then some Location: Out on a wire.	Of course I'm self-conscious about how I look. I spend 15 hours a week standing in front of groups of young adults talking to them. The half that actually pay attention sometimes look at me. I'm not the least bit reluctant to be nude in front of my wife, but we do both find lingerie, on me at least, to be much more interesting and sexy than simple nudity most of the time. Otherwise, yeah, I'm aware that I'm too thin, flat-chested, no hips to speak of, a figure that better resembles a pre-pubescent boy than a 30 year old woman, an oddly shaped face with practically no chin and a nose that's too thin and pointy. Since my accident I've been wearing long sleeves to avoid drawing attention to my badly scarred left arm and hand. My wife and sister say that it isn't noticable if you aren't looking for it, but that's not really relevant. I see it, I notice it, and that makes me self-conscious and uncomfortable, especially when anybody else notices. Gilda __________________ I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that. ~Steven Colbert

10-03-2006, 10:03 PM	#26 (permalink)
Vindicated0411 Upright Location: Raleigh, NC	I am 20 right now and in a relationship of 2 years. I am about 5'5 and 120-ish pounds. I am unhappy with my body. I will undress in front of my boyfriend but I have a tendacy to hide if I can help it, i.e. hold my shirt in front of me if I am putting on another shirt, or turning around when I take off my shirt. I am just discontent with my body shape and what I consider "pudgy." I am told by everyone I look fine and am in great shape. Likewise it all boils down to self perception. I look in the mirror and see fat not curves. My boyfriend is a sweetheart, he says he loves my body. He also tells me he prefers "a little meat on his woman" and that it gives me curves which he finds sexy. My tendacy to hide has ran into some problems like when we have sex I prefer no light or little light. Sometimes he prefers light so "he can see me." I usually end up winning just because he knows I am uncomfortable and he doesn't want to upset me. Sometimes it has caused quite a damper because he wants to see me. I even hate the beach because I hate "swim suits." I have had eating disorders in the past so I am paranoid of my weight. Currently I have overcome the eating disorders but my self esteem is still very negative about my body image. __________________ Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.~ Teddy Roosevelt

10-03-2006, 10:37 PM	#27 (permalink)
Toaster126 Extreme moderation Location: Kansas City, yo.	Yeah, "self-conscience" is another one of those psychology words that has been perverted from it's actual meaning. Usually when people are talking about being self-conscience, they are talking about being excessively self-conscience. __________________ "The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand) "The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

10-04-2006, 01:11 AM	#28 (permalink)
Mantus lascivious	To answer all questions... I feel sexy as fuck. I am aware that by some standards I can put on more muscle, that I am a bit short, that my dick isn't all that big but all those things just don't effect the intensity at which I express my sexuality. I really enjoy sexually confident women. Girls who's body image problems effect their ability to fulfill sexual desires are really too much of a hastle for me...I've tried to deal with it but finally realized that it's THEIR issue and not my cross to bear. As far as exebitionism - whatever allows a woman to unleash her sexual potential is a good thing. Whether it's photos, whips or gangbangs, it's all good. Doesn't mean I'll be into everything but I don't judge girls on it and if our dessires don't click I'll introduce her to the right people.

10-06-2006, 04:49 PM	#29 (permalink)
cadre The Worst Influence Location: Arizona	I am still young but I think I have a great self image. I feel sexy most of the time and my attitude tends to reflect that apparently. I think the fact that I am in a great relationship now really helps that too. It seems like in the just the past couple years my figure has filled out and I now love the shape of my body. Being that I am a photographer and I like nude shots I have given the concept a shot. I like both the male and female bodies but I prefer the tasteful displays to anything else. Granted there is something to be said for the bear all photos and some are very apealing, but I find myself appreciating the unseen more. The concept of hiding things is an important aspect of photography, I was always taught that what you can't see is more important to the viewer than the obvious. I believe that I am a very open person both in the manner of what I will discuss in public and what I will do in public. I may be wrong there but I do try to be uninhibited as much as possible. __________________ My life is one of those 'you had to be there' jokes.

10-06-2006, 09:01 PM	#30 (permalink)
Ustwo Pissing in the cornflakes	The title of this thread implies there are women out there who are not self conscience about thier bodies. Maybe they exist, but not that I've known. __________________ Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

10-06-2006, 09:31 PM	#31 (permalink)
qtpye4u84 Flavor+noodles Location: oregon	I was the lil girl that would ride my Big wheel around the block naked when I was younger. In a snap I would be naked. Now.....I am ok with being naked in front of people but I have a lil bit of a gut and that makes me a lil shy. I place my hands in that area when I'm in a swim suit. I love being naked though, I sun tan naked on my deck. I would be a stripper if I had 1) No morals 2)No gut I have the boobs and the body. I would love to join a Nudists colony thought of it since I was 12. __________________ The QTpie

10-07-2006, 01:01 AM	#32 (permalink)
Daniel_ Evil Priest: The Devil Made Me Do It! Location: Southern England	I realise I'm not a woman, but even so... I am overweight - not monstrously obese, but still far from slender. I used to be really worried about what people thought of me - not actually enough to get off my fat arse and go for a run or back to the gym, but still; you know. And then I realised that was the most self obsessed and selfish attitude imaginable. Nobody gives a shit about whether I look fat. For me to believe that everyone out there has nothing better to do than be worried that I've put on (or lest) a few pounds is the very worst and most self destructive type of navel gazing. I stopped giving a rat's arse about whether anyone cared if I am fat, and started caring (for myself) about things like wearig clothes that fit well, and having a decent haircut and a shave, and getting some decent aftershave. I realised that you get more compliments for being wel turned out than you ever do for being slender. All in all, I guess what I'm saying is - don't worry about your body, polish your shoes and iron your shirt. This has been a public service announcement brought to you by "Fat and Tidy" productions. __________________ ╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗ Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air, And deep beneath the rolling waves, In labyrinths of Coral Caves, The Echo of a distant time Comes willowing across the sand; And everthing is Green and Submarine ╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

10-09-2006, 12:48 AM	#38 (permalink)
Toaster126 Extreme moderation Location: Kansas City, yo.	[QUOTE=ghoastgirl1]Whats up with guys doing that, I wish they would understand that such small statements have such fundamental impacts on women and possibly the rest of their sexual development.[QUOTE] Isn't it the women's responsibility to not let small statements fuck up their mental health and self-image? Hint: it is. __________________ "The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand) "The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)