|
I am 20 right now and in a relationship of 2 years. I am about 5'5 and 120-ish pounds. I am unhappy with my body. I will undress in front of my boyfriend but I have a tendacy to hide if I can help it, i.e. hold my shirt in front of me if I am putting on another shirt, or turning around when I take off my shirt. I am just discontent with my body shape and what I consider "pudgy." I am told by everyone I look fine and am in great shape. Likewise it all boils down to self perception. I look in the mirror and see fat not curves. My boyfriend is a sweetheart, he says he loves my body. He also tells me he prefers "a little meat on his woman" and that it gives me curves which he finds sexy. My tendacy to hide has ran into some problems like when we have sex I prefer no light or little light. Sometimes he prefers light so "he can see me." I usually end up winning just because he knows I am uncomfortable and he doesn't want to upset me. Sometimes it has caused quite a damper because he wants to see me. I even hate the beach because I hate "swim suits." I have had eating disorders in the past so I am paranoid of my weight. Currently I have overcome the eating disorders but my self esteem is still very negative about my body image.
__________________
Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.~ Teddy Roosevelt
|