Lights On/Lights Off - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

ASU2003 · 03-13-2006, 10:44 PM

When you are in the bedroom [making love, fucking, being intimate, humping

,...], do you usually have the lights on, off or dimly lit? Do you or do you not have a preference?

SecretMethod70 · 03-13-2006, 10:46 PM

Well what about YOU? If you want to start a discussion on something, it helps to set a good example to start out

ASU2003 · 03-13-2006, 10:55 PM

I don't have much to add, I'm afraid. I wish I did.

In the future, I think I would need to see what I am doing. But, maybe the standard way is under the covers in the dark. I don't know, that is kind of why I asked this question.

tecoyah · 03-13-2006, 11:04 PM

Visual stimulation is something I very much enjoy.....but the mood is key.

SecretMethod70 · 03-13-2006, 11:09 PM

Well, I definitely prefer the lights on. Mood is all in the mind and I find whether or not it feels "romantic" or "naughty" does not need to be related to the level or type of lighting. Another contributing factor is that, well, if you're having sex with someone it seems pretty silly to me to worry about your body being clearly visible (that is the explanation I have heard many people give for liking dim or no light).

analog · 03-13-2006, 11:18 PM

i like candle lighting for the first encounters, because it helps enhance the romantic mood of it all for me... not that it's necessary, but it's what i like. After that, it just depends on whether the lights are on or not when we suddenly happen to start. lol

absorbentishe · 03-13-2006, 11:26 PM

Depends on the time, but I perfer candles! Just seems to be more romantic.

Buk · 03-13-2006, 11:33 PM

I prefer the lights on.

The wife prefers the lights off.

We fuck with the lights off... of course.

onodrim · 03-13-2006, 11:34 PM

There are always exceptions, but generally I like the light on. I like to be able to see the person I'm with. Total darkness can be fun if it's a random middle of the night unexpected romp,

but it can also be a hinderance if no one knows what's going on! Dim light might be nice for a slow romantic mood. But generally speaking, keep the lights on for me.

SecretMethod70 · 03-13-2006, 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onodrim

There are always exceptions, but generally I like the light on. I like to be able to see the person I'm with. Total darkness can be fun if it's a random middle of the night unexpected romp,

but it can also be a hinderance if no one knows what's going on! Dim light might be nice for a slow romantic mood. But generally speaking, keep the lights on for me.

And that's why she's the one for me

Perhaps I'm wrong, but it seems less likely that females like the lights on during sex than males. I think part of this is the reason I stated earlier...many (perhaps even most) females that I've heard express an interest in the lights being off during sex have explained their reasons as having to do with not wanting to be fully seen when naked. It's true, the dimmer light can hide imperfections in a body...that's why you can't usually find a strip club with good lighting. Still, for me, part of the great experience with sexual encounters is that feeling of being totally open with the person you're with. I suppose if I were less particular about who I might choose to have a sexual encounter with, I might feel differently.

Sweetpea · 03-14-2006, 12:36 AM

Lights on

not bright.. but a lamp on the the corner is always good. that way.. you get to enjoy every sight there is to behold

sweetpea

healer · 03-14-2006, 02:15 AM

Totally depends on what kind of mood we're in. Total darkness can be very intimate. Not being able to see makes you much more aware of your other senses, which leads to added pleasure. You feel the lightest touch on your skin, hear every shortened breath etc.

That said, I think I prefer the lights on. I like to see her facial expressions- especially the way she looks at me.

And if I want to enhance the pleasure? I just close my eyes

savvypup · 03-14-2006, 04:49 AM

I prefer lights on. I really enjoy watching the other person's expressions and the way their body moves (pending which way I'm facing of course!

)

Lights off when you're having a fun romp ie ties and stuff is nice because you don't know where you'll be touched, kissed or licked - that's extremely exciting too. It really depends on the type of mood you're both in, but generally - lights on!!!!

The_Jazz · 03-14-2006, 05:29 AM

It doesn't really matter to me since I'm usually navigating by touch alone, but lights on is more fun.

Charlatan · 03-14-2006, 05:56 AM

I'm just happy to get some... but if I had a choice it would be candle light. Everything looks better in candle light.

ratbastid · 03-14-2006, 06:02 AM

I like enough light to see by, but nothing glaring.

I'm not a big fan of overhead lighting, for any purpose. It's kind of like the house lights in the theater--useful for finding your seat and for sweeping up afterward, but you want them turned off for the show.

Meditrina · 03-14-2006, 06:14 AM

We mostly have the lights out. But now that I am buying new lingerie, I have been leaving them on , but not too bright, more often. Candles have a wonderful effect.

snowy · 03-14-2006, 06:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sweetpea

Lights on

not bright.. but a lamp on the the corner is always good. that way.. you get to enjoy every sight there is to behold

sweetpea

Lamp, TV, computer screen, candles, whatever...as long as it's low and I can still see what's going on.

Sometimes the dark is nice, though...there's something to be said for being able to see very little. I just really don't like doing it under harsh light, and that's what we currently have overhead in our bedroom. It makes it feel more like a surgical procedure than a romantic interlude. Damn fluorescents.

TNJ4555 · 03-14-2006, 07:39 AM

My wife won't let me make love with the lights on....
She keeps closing the car door!

Reminds me of the first time I had sex...
Man, I was scared
I was all alone!

Which also reminds me of the time I met a genie...
He gave me one wish
I said I wanted my dick long enough to touch the floor
He made both my legs disappear!

(thanx Rodney RIP)

CandleInTheDark · 03-14-2006, 11:33 AM

My girlfriend prefers lights off and covers over.

She rarely gets her way

Willravel · 03-14-2006, 12:41 PM

I snagged the most beautiful women I've ever met, and managed to marry her. Having the lights on is my reward.

Coppertop · 03-14-2006, 12:43 PM

I like the lights on, my girl likes candles or no lights. But I could really care less as long as I am getting some.

Gilda · 03-14-2006, 04:45 PM

Lights on most of the time, but dimmed a little. Grace is spactacular nude, and she wants to see my lingerie, given how much money I spend on it. Add to that mood lighting, such as the aquarium light, a dvd of a fire burning on the tv (it sounds stupid, but it works), or a waterfall, or a pasture, and it's quite a good atmosphere for romance.

Gilda

Grasshopper Green · 03-14-2006, 05:08 PM

Oops, I voted wrong. I voted preference, not actuality.

I prefer lights off. Not because I'm afraid of being seen naked (I've been with hubby 10 years, I think he has a pretty good idea what I look like), but because I enjoy using my other senses more during sex. However, he works nights, and I work early in the morning, so midafternoon in all it's brightly light glory is what usually works for us.

ktspktsp · 03-14-2006, 06:01 PM

Lights on. I like seeing my Abaya

during sex

That said, dimmed lights / candlelight / darkness / eye masks all have their use sometimes

Sage · 03-14-2006, 06:29 PM

ohhh man... I don't know if Martel and I have EVER had sex with the lights off...

maybe once or twice, but that was special

I don't know if I *can* have sex with the lights off... I like to look too much!

shesus · 03-14-2006, 06:41 PM

I don't really pay attention to lighting actually. I voted my preference which is candlight, but that doesn't happen too often...too much prep

Anyway, it depends on the location and timing. I'm not going to stop and say "turn them off" or "turn them on"...that would kinda ruin the mood I think. But my guess is that the lights are usually off because our lights are usually off...we have city light coming in.

Doesn't matter to me much because I usually have my eyes closed enjoying other senses, I'm not much of a visual person I suppose.

little_tippler · 03-15-2006, 05:19 AM

Well it depends. If I could always have it my way, I'm a romantic at heart and dimly lit or candles would be my first choice. Lights on can be a huge turn-on, as can no-lights. However, no lights would be my last choice because I like to look and be looked at.

percy · 03-15-2006, 05:29 AM

On or off doesn't matter to me. It's nice seeing the person but not seeing them also adds to the fantasy of it being someone else. And candles,...blah. I'm anti-romantic. How's that for being a chick. Forget the candles and bring a six pack to bed. Or two six packs,..carrying one and wearing one. Mmmmm

braisler · 03-15-2006, 06:37 AM

In practice, the lights are sometimes off and sometimes on. In preference, we are moving towards having the lights on for several reasons. We are both visual people and enjoy watching what is going on. We also are trying to build better non-verbal communication during intimacy, which is pretty challenging when you can't see a thing. Also, you can't gaze lovingly/longingly/hungrily into your lover's eyes with the lights off.

ariekitten · 03-16-2006, 09:43 PM

i like the lights on or dimly lit. if i'm going to have sex, it's usually going to be with someone i find sexually attractive, and doggone it, i want to be able to see their sexy self! :P
seriously though, i find the male body super sexy, and i like looking at it. plus i like seeing the look on the other person's face during all of it. i am a little self-conscious about my body, but i've learned with practice to get over that enough because i enjoy it much more with visual stimulus.

JStrider · 03-18-2006, 07:37 PM

depends on the particular session...

I generally prefer some kind of lighting... whether its bright lights or dimmer lighting from candles or whatever.

doncalypso · 03-19-2006, 01:47 PM

Lights on... I like to see what I'm doing when I'm having sex.

Tamerlain · 03-19-2006, 03:08 PM

I voted lights on. The only time we don't have some kind of light source is if one of us wakes up in the middle of the night with an itch that needs to be scratched.

-Tamerlain

blade02 · 03-23-2006, 01:05 PM

I think the best thing ever is waking up next to a hot girl and having morning sex. So I had to vote for lights on. Though its mostly the warm sunlight coming through the blinds that I like the best.

ncgti · 03-24-2006, 11:55 AM

us guys are visual -lights on!!

raeanna74 · 03-24-2006, 12:02 PM

I don't usually try for all the lights on, glaring brightness but the brighter light or daytime does not inhibit me at all. I think the better mood is gained when I have only one small lamp on or even lots of candles. I enjoy being able to see my partners face and the expressions and feelings on it. Being able to see what I'm doing and touching just makes me more capable I think. Though I've done it in pitch black or nearly so and that can be just as fun, trying to FEEL my way around.

Jim Kata · 03-24-2006, 12:12 PM

I can go either way....lights on because I love watching myself go in and out of her.
Lights off is good too, because the TV is usually on so I can still see everything but not as good as with the lights on.

Now that I think about it...I can't remember ever having sex in complete darkness. There has always been some sort of light that helped to see everything clearly.

I'll make sure to change that next month when we start living together.

Apache · 03-24-2006, 08:03 PM

I don't really care either way! Depends on the mood I guess. I would say most of the time it happens at night in the bed for us so the lights are usually off, but on the rare occasion we get to have morning sex (1 year old son usually wakes us up!) then it's always pretty bright. When I plan special nights I usually have candles and when we end up going at it on the sofa or living room floor then the lights and/or the tv is usually on.
So it doesn't matter to me, I'm more into what I'm doing than to really care about if the lights are on or off!

fat-tony · 03-25-2006, 09:16 AM

I've always been a fan of lights on, but it seems that girls can be quite self-conscious and not want that... Either way works for me

View Poll Results: Brightness
Lights On	52	33.33%
Lights Off	17	10.90%
Dimly Lit/Candles	70	44.87%
I don't know, I've never had sex	14	8.97%
I just wanted to see the answers	3	1.92%
Voters: 156. You may not vote on this poll

03-13-2006, 10:44 PM	#1 (permalink)
ASU2003 immoral minority Location: Back in Ohio	Lights On/Lights Off When you are in the bedroom [making love, fucking, being intimate, humping ,...], do you usually have the lights on, off or dimly lit? Do you or do you not have a preference?

03-13-2006, 10:46 PM	#2 (permalink)
SecretMethod70 Human Administrator Location: Chicago	Well what about YOU? If you want to start a discussion on something, it helps to set a good example to start out __________________ Le temps détruit tout "Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

03-13-2006, 11:04 PM	#4 (permalink)
tecoyah Illusionary	Visual stimulation is something I very much enjoy.....but the mood is key. __________________ Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

03-13-2006, 11:09 PM	#5 (permalink)
SecretMethod70 Human Administrator Location: Chicago	Well, I definitely prefer the lights on. Mood is all in the mind and I find whether or not it feels "romantic" or "naughty" does not need to be related to the level or type of lighting. Another contributing factor is that, well, if you're having sex with someone it seems pretty silly to me to worry about your body being clearly visible (that is the explanation I have heard many people give for liking dim or no light). __________________ Le temps détruit tout "Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

03-13-2006, 10:55 PM	#3 (permalink)
ASU2003 immoral minority Location: Back in Ohio	I don't have much to add, I'm afraid. I wish I did. In the future, I think I would need to see what I am doing. But, maybe the standard way is under the covers in the dark. I don't know, that is kind of why I asked this question.

03-13-2006, 11:18 PM	#6 (permalink)
analog Banned	i like candle lighting for the first encounters, because it helps enhance the romantic mood of it all for me... not that it's necessary, but it's what i like. After that, it just depends on whether the lights are on or not when we suddenly happen to start. lol

03-13-2006, 11:26 PM	#7 (permalink)
absorbentishe Boy am I horny today Location: T O L E D O, Toledo!!	Depends on the time, but I perfer candles! Just seems to be more romantic.

03-13-2006, 11:33 PM	#8 (permalink)
Buk Addict Location: Seattle, WA	I prefer the lights on. The wife prefers the lights off. We fuck with the lights off... of course.

03-13-2006, 11:34 PM	#9 (permalink)
onodrim Cosmically Curious Location: Chicago, IL	There are always exceptions, but generally I like the light on. I like to be able to see the person I'm with. Total darkness can be fun if it's a random middle of the night unexpected romp, but it can also be a hinderance if no one knows what's going on! Dim light might be nice for a slow romantic mood. But generally speaking, keep the lights on for me. __________________ "The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there’s little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides" -Carl Sagan

03-14-2006, 12:36 AM	#11 (permalink)
Sweetpea Fade out Location: in love	Lights on not bright.. but a lamp on the the corner is always good. that way.. you get to enjoy every sight there is to behold sweetpea __________________ Having a Pet Will Change Your Life! Looking for a great pet?! Click Here! "I am the Type of Person Who Can Get Away With A lot, Simply Because I Don't Ask Permission for the Privilege of Being Myself"

03-14-2006, 04:49 AM	#13 (permalink)
savvypup Crazy Location: Want to run away? Follow the light	I prefer lights on. I really enjoy watching the other person's expressions and the way their body moves (pending which way I'm facing of course! ) Lights off when you're having a fun romp ie ties and stuff is nice because you don't know where you'll be touched, kissed or licked - that's extremely exciting too. It really depends on the type of mood you're both in, but generally - lights on!!!! __________________ ciao bella!

03-14-2006, 05:29 AM	#14 (permalink)
The_Jazz Asshole Administrator Location: Chicago	It doesn't really matter to me since I'm usually navigating by touch alone, but lights on is more fun. __________________ "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin "There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush "We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

03-14-2006, 05:56 AM	#15 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	I'm just happy to get some... but if I had a choice it would be candle light. Everything looks better in candle light. __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

03-14-2006, 06:02 AM	#16 (permalink)
ratbastid Darth Papa Location: Yonder	I like enough light to see by, but nothing glaring. I'm not a big fan of overhead lighting, for any purpose. It's kind of like the house lights in the theater--useful for finding your seat and for sweeping up afterward, but you want them turned off for the show.

03-14-2006, 06:14 AM	#17 (permalink)
Meditrina Junkie Location: LI,NY	We mostly have the lights out. But now that I am buying new lingerie, I have been leaving them on , but not too bright, more often. Candles have a wonderful effect. __________________ "Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." ~Alex Karras

03-14-2006, 07:39 AM	#19 (permalink)
TNJ4555 Tilted Location: Jersey	My wife won't let me make love with the lights on.... She keeps closing the car door! Reminds me of the first time I had sex... Man, I was scared I was all alone! Which also reminds me of the time I met a genie... He gave me one wish I said I wanted my dick long enough to touch the floor He made both my legs disappear! (thanx Rodney RIP)

03-14-2006, 11:33 AM	#20 (permalink)
CandleInTheDark Addict Location: Where the music's loudest	My girlfriend prefers lights off and covers over. She rarely gets her way __________________ Where there is doubt there is freedom.

03-14-2006, 12:41 PM	#21 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	I snagged the most beautiful women I've ever met, and managed to marry her. Having the lights on is my reward.

03-14-2006, 12:43 PM	#22 (permalink)
Coppertop Getting Medieval on your ass Location: 13th century Europe	I like the lights on, my girl likes candles or no lights. But I could really care less as long as I am getting some.

03-14-2006, 04:45 PM	#23 (permalink)
Gilda 32 flavors and then some Location: Out on a wire.	Lights on most of the time, but dimmed a little. Grace is spactacular nude, and she wants to see my lingerie, given how much money I spend on it. Add to that mood lighting, such as the aquarium light, a dvd of a fire burning on the tv (it sounds stupid, but it works), or a waterfall, or a pasture, and it's quite a good atmosphere for romance. Gilda

03-14-2006, 05:08 PM	#24 (permalink)
Grasshopper Green ...is a comical chap Location: Where morons reign supreme	Oops, I voted wrong. I voted preference, not actuality. I prefer lights off. Not because I'm afraid of being seen naked (I've been with hubby 10 years, I think he has a pretty good idea what I look like), but because I enjoy using my other senses more during sex. However, he works nights, and I work early in the morning, so midafternoon in all it's brightly light glory is what usually works for us. __________________ "They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king" Formerly Medusa

03-14-2006, 06:01 PM	#25 (permalink)
ktspktsp Addict Location: Reykjavik, Iceland	Lights on. I like seeing my Abaya during sex That said, dimmed lights / candlelight / darkness / eye masks all have their use sometimes

03-14-2006, 06:29 PM	#26 (permalink)
Sage hoarding all the big girl panties since 2005 Location: North side	ohhh man... I don't know if Martel and I have EVER had sex with the lights off... maybe once or twice, but that was special I don't know if I can have sex with the lights off... I like to look too much! __________________ Sage knows our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's She answers hard acrostics, has a pretty taste for paradox She quotes in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus In conics she can floor peculiarities parabolous -C'hi

03-14-2006, 06:41 PM	#27 (permalink)
shesus Fancy Location: Chicago	I don't really pay attention to lighting actually. I voted my preference which is candlight, but that doesn't happen too often...too much prep Anyway, it depends on the location and timing. I'm not going to stop and say "turn them off" or "turn them on"...that would kinda ruin the mood I think. But my guess is that the lights are usually off because our lights are usually off...we have city light coming in. Doesn't matter to me much because I usually have my eyes closed enjoying other senses, I'm not much of a visual person I suppose. __________________ Whatever did happen to your soul? I heard you sold it Choose Heaven for the weather and Hell for the company

03-15-2006, 05:19 AM	#28 (permalink)
little_tippler Leaning against the -Sun- Super Moderator Location: on the other side	Well it depends. If I could always have it my way, I'm a romantic at heart and dimly lit or candles would be my first choice. Lights on can be a huge turn-on, as can no-lights. However, no lights would be my last choice because I like to look and be looked at. __________________ Whether we write or speak or do but look We are ever unapparent. What we are Cannot be transfused into word or book. Our soul from us is infinitely far. However much we give our thoughts the will To be our soul and gesture it abroad, Our hearts are incommunicable still. In what we show ourselves we are ignored. The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged By any skill of thought or trick of seeming. Unto our very selves we are abridged When we would utter to our thought our being. We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams, And each to each other dreams of others' dreams. Fernando Pessoa, 1918

03-15-2006, 05:29 AM	#29 (permalink)
percy Addict	On or off doesn't matter to me. It's nice seeing the person but not seeing them also adds to the fantasy of it being someone else. And candles,...blah. I'm anti-romantic. How's that for being a chick. Forget the candles and bring a six pack to bed. Or two six packs,..carrying one and wearing one. Mmmmm

03-15-2006, 06:37 AM	#30 (permalink)
braisler Addict Location: Midway, KY	In practice, the lights are sometimes off and sometimes on. In preference, we are moving towards having the lights on for several reasons. We are both visual people and enjoy watching what is going on. We also are trying to build better non-verbal communication during intimacy, which is pretty challenging when you can't see a thing. Also, you can't gaze lovingly/longingly/hungrily into your lover's eyes with the lights off. __________________ --- You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother. - Albert Einstein ---

03-16-2006, 09:43 PM	#31 (permalink)
ariekitten bAck iN aCtiOn! Location: in my imagination	i like the lights on or dimly lit. if i'm going to have sex, it's usually going to be with someone i find sexually attractive, and doggone it, i want to be able to see their sexy self! :P seriously though, i find the male body super sexy, and i like looking at it. plus i like seeing the look on the other person's face during all of it. i am a little self-conscious about my body, but i've learned with practice to get over that enough because i enjoy it much more with visual stimulus. __________________ I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III. Don't hesitate to call. ~Vash, Trigun >'.'< kitty kitty, meow ^..^~

03-18-2006, 07:37 PM	#32 (permalink)
JStrider Poo-tee-weet? Location: The Woodlands, TX	depends on the particular session... I generally prefer some kind of lighting... whether its bright lights or dimmer lighting from candles or whatever. __________________ -=JStrider=- ~Clatto Verata Nicto

03-19-2006, 01:47 PM	#33 (permalink)
doncalypso TFP Mad Scientist Location: Philadelphia, PA	Lights on... I like to see what I'm doing when I'm having sex. __________________ Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

03-19-2006, 03:08 PM	#34 (permalink)
Tamerlain Insane Location: Victoria	I voted lights on. The only time we don't have some kind of light source is if one of us wakes up in the middle of the night with an itch that needs to be scratched. -Tamerlain __________________ I never let school interfere with my education.

03-23-2006, 01:05 PM	#35 (permalink)
blade02 Insane	I think the best thing ever is waking up next to a hot girl and having morning sex. So I had to vote for lights on. Though its mostly the warm sunlight coming through the blinds that I like the best.

03-24-2006, 11:55 AM	#36 (permalink)
ncgti Tilted Location: the great north state	us guys are visual -lights on!!

03-24-2006, 12:02 PM	#37 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	I don't usually try for all the lights on, glaring brightness but the brighter light or daytime does not inhibit me at all. I think the better mood is gained when I have only one small lamp on or even lots of candles. I enjoy being able to see my partners face and the expressions and feelings on it. Being able to see what I'm doing and touching just makes me more capable I think. Though I've done it in pitch black or nearly so and that can be just as fun, trying to FEEL my way around. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.