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In practice, the lights are sometimes off and sometimes on. In preference, we are moving towards having the lights on for several reasons. We are both visual people and enjoy watching what is going on. We also are trying to build better non-verbal communication during intimacy, which is pretty challenging when you can't see a thing. Also, you can't gaze lovingly/longingly/hungrily into your lover's eyes with the lights off.
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You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.
- Albert Einstein
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