Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > The Academy > Tilted Philosophy


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 01-08-2007, 09:42 PM   #1 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: The Wick
libertarian parenting a good thing?

ok, so i was sitting here in my boxers, eating a can of peanut butter and letting my dog lick my hands off for me when i realized that the best kind of parenting is libertarian parenting. if we just let our children govern themselves with no help from anyone from the time they are conceived to the day they die, then they will become much greater than you, me, or lorena bobbit..combined. thats pretty damn great if you ask me. we wouldnt have to worry about exerting ourselves to shelter, feed, clothe and bathe our children; they could just do it themselves. if our children learned how to support themselves, they would gain wisdom beyond our wildest dreams. what say ye?
kaptain_kwanza is offline  
Old 01-08-2007, 10:01 PM   #2 (permalink)
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
 
Willravel's Avatar
 
You cannot allow a 3 year old to govern themselves because when they are 30 they will not govern themselves. They will be governed by other men and by society. Parenting is about preperation. If your child is ready for the world when they leave, and they are ready to be a positive force in that world, you are a success. If you allow your child to govern him or herself, they will only work within the barriers where they are punished by life (not looking both ways before crossing the street, for example, would be a very difficult lesson). Yes, eventually, your child should be self sufficient...but they don't come that way and allowing them to raise themselves makes you neglectful. Children of neglectful parents can often have moderate to serious anti-social behavior.

Do what you can to prepare them for the world.
Willravel is offline  
Old 01-08-2007, 10:02 PM   #3 (permalink)
Insane
 
kurtisj's Avatar
 
Location: The Wick
Conservative being facetious?
__________________
Marvin the Mountie Always Gets His Kurtisj.
kurtisj is offline  
Old 01-09-2007, 04:42 AM   #4 (permalink)
Submit to me, you know you want to
 
ShaniFaye's Avatar
 
Location: Lilburn, Ga
I prefer letting wolves raise them
__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!
ShaniFaye is offline  
Old 01-09-2007, 04:48 AM   #5 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: rural Indiana
I'm sorry...all I can think about is when to kill myself.....
__________________
Happy atheist
Lizra is offline  
Old 01-09-2007, 05:45 AM   #6 (permalink)
Darth Papa
 
ratbastid's Avatar
 
Location: Yonder
Props for the Lorena Bobbit reference, though! Suddenly I feel like it's 1993 again.
ratbastid is offline  
Old 01-09-2007, 06:03 AM   #7 (permalink)
will always be an Alyson Hanniganite
 
Bill O'Rights's Avatar
 
Location: In the dust of the archives
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShaniFaye
I prefer letting wolves raise them
Helllll, yeah! I was raised by wolves, and look at me.
Thing with wolves is that you always know where you stand with 'em. If you're a dink, or a pain in the ass, the Alpha wolf puts the smackdown on you right now. No appeals, no whining, no false sense of value.
__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.
Bill O'Rights is offline  
Old 01-13-2007, 06:12 PM   #8 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Demeter's Avatar
 
The freedom you give your children to govern themselves increases as their experience, responsibility and maturity increases. It's like weight training. Their independence grows with a steady routine and hard work.

I have no idea how that pertains to the original post, but I felt smart writing it.
__________________

I am not bound to please thee with my answers.

William Shakespeare
Demeter is offline  
Old 01-18-2007, 06:16 PM   #9 (permalink)
Coy, sultry and... naughty!
 
Sharon's Avatar
 
Location: Across the way
Yup, I'm in favour of librarian parenting - do everything by the book, I say!
Sharon is offline  
Old 01-18-2007, 11:33 PM   #10 (permalink)
pow!
 
clavus's Avatar
 
Location: NorCal
Left to his own devices, one of my kids turned a simple dehydrated pea into an Emergency Room visit. And that was my sensible son.

Without my facist intervention, my Barbarian Child wouldn't have lasted past two.

Actual words that have come out of my mouth - -
* No. Stop making it rain forks.
* Stop trying to put your tongue into the electrical outlet.
* I'm sorry if it makes you sad, but the Xacto knife is not for you.
* Do not play in the street.
__________________
Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.
clavus is offline  
Old 01-19-2007, 11:55 AM   #11 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Carno's Avatar
 
You are a facist! I used to play in the street all the time.
Carno is offline  
Old 01-19-2007, 12:05 PM   #12 (permalink)
Coy, sultry and... naughty!
 
Sharon's Avatar
 
Location: Across the way
The question is - in what kind of neighbourhood is the street in question?
Sharon is offline  
Old 01-19-2007, 01:40 PM   #13 (permalink)
will always be an Alyson Hanniganite
 
Bill O'Rights's Avatar
 
Location: In the dust of the archives
Quote:
Originally Posted by clavus
Left to his own devices, one of my kids turned a simple dehydrated pea into an Emergency Room visit. And that was my sensible son.

Without my facist intervention, my Barbarian Child wouldn't have lasted past two.

Actual words that have come out of my mouth - -
* No. Stop making it rain forks.
* Stop trying to put your tongue into the electrical outlet.
* I'm sorry if it makes you sad, but the Xacto knife is not for you.
* Do not play in the street.
Isn't genetics wonderful?

Show this post to your dad...see if he signs off on it. Bet he does.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Carno
You are a facist! I used to play in the street all the time.
Well...yeah...but, does it count when your parents make you play in the street?
__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.
Bill O'Rights is offline  
Old 01-19-2007, 02:36 PM   #14 (permalink)
Upright
 
Strange things I have said while 'parenting'

"Put on your sweater, I'm cold."
"Go to your room NOW..and don't EVER come out...EVER"
"What possessed you to put a rock up your nose? Okay which side? Now, as I cover the other nostril, you blow really hard."
AbigailAlfano is offline  
Old 01-19-2007, 04:57 PM   #15 (permalink)
immoral minority
 
ASU2003's Avatar
 
Location: Back in Ohio
I would rather have a kid that knew the meaning of work and responsibility than one who just begged the parents for handouts and presents all the time. And living under a dictatorship is probably worse than letting the kid do what they want as long as they don't hurt themselves or anyone else. Growing up in strict conservative homes turns kids into wild people when they get their freedom, or there is enough shame and fear in them that they can't enjoy life.

The best mix would be a mixure of all of them, where the kid gets a voice (like congress), but the parents can veto it (President). The parents are a protector, judge & advisor, but allow your kids to learn and live their own life.
ASU2003 is offline  
Old 01-20-2007, 11:12 PM   #16 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: UK
Quote:
The parents are a protector, judge & advisor, but allow your kids to learn and live their own life.
This sounds really good, and actually, this is what I believed I pretty much did, and I thought it was working really, really well: no problems in school, in terms of behavior, grades, etc.- both of my kids always seemed pretty compliant and cooperative.

But in the past year, I've found that what I thought was going on was not what was going on at all- who I thought my kids (especially my son) were, was not who they were at all. He was putting up a really good front that had me fooled but good.

I can't tell you how much this has hurt me. I look at him as dishonest and somewhat of a stranger- but at the same time I have to ask myself why he felt like he had to lie to me about who he was/is.

I don't think I was ever scary/authoritarian mom. I always thought I made it clear that I'd be accepting and helpful to him whoever or whatever he was.

I'm kind of grieving now for the relationship I thought we had, but really, obviously didn't.

Having said that- I don't know what I could have done any differently. Anyone have any advice as to how to get through patches like this where you just feel that you no longer know (or even ever really knew) your own child? I'm finding it difficult and actually really heart-breaking. (If this belongs in another thread-please feel free to move it- I didn't realize I was going to go off on such a tangent when I started).

In terms of the topic, I think libertarian parenting would work with a really self-directed child, but honestly I think those are the exception rather than the rule.
josie is offline  
Old 01-22-2007, 10:08 AM   #17 (permalink)
pow!
 
clavus's Avatar
 
Location: NorCal
Josie - I have no advice from basd on experience. But I suggest that you look at starting a new relationship with this new person whom you have met, and try to forget the old person who never was.

Maybe your kid has aspects of both personalities.

My mom was very good at reconciling the extreme sides of my personality and viewing me as single person who wore different faces. As a result, I showed her more and more of the "me" that existed outside of the house.

Maybe if you wer more specific as to the nature of the deception, we could offer you better advice.
__________________
Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.
clavus is offline  
Old 01-22-2007, 02:11 PM   #18 (permalink)
Coy, sultry and... naughty!
 
Sharon's Avatar
 
Location: Across the way
josie - sometimes children feel that their parents want them to be someone that they are not, and therefore adjust their behaviour around the parent... not to be deceptive, but to avoid being a DISAPPOINTMENT.

That was me. My parents still don't know the whole truth.
Sharon is offline  
Old 01-22-2007, 11:15 PM   #19 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: UK
You know- I'm glad to get a perspective from people who aren't parents and can give me some insight into maybe what his thought processes are.

I guess I find the whole dishonesty thing the hardest part of it to accept. I wanted to avoid disappointing my parents too- probably too much- so I actually lived my life in a way that I could avoid disappointing them. Although it worked out for me too- we were pretty much on the same page about most things- they wanted me to do what I could to be happy, and I agreed with them. I was never particularly self-destructive.

I mean, I wasn't perfect- I smoked pot and drank and stuff, but for the most part, I remained true to the person they raised me to be. I really could always say that I was pretty much who they thought I was. I would have felt like a real two-faced brown-noser otherwise.

I guess I'm disappointed that I look at my son now and I feel that he doesn't have the courage or strength to be honest about who he is. I could take the acting out shit- if I felt he had the courage to look me in the eye and be honest about it. It's the lying and deception I can't take- it feels like a betrayal by someone I love more than anyone else in the world, and who I never thought I'd be betrayed by.

Clavus said:
Quote:
But I suggest that you look at starting a new relationship with this new person whom you have met, and try to forget the old person who never was.
You know this sounds good, except the old person seemed happy most of the time- and the new person seems depressed- that's what worries and hurts me the most. And when I ask him how I can help him, he says there's nothing wrong.

Quote:
Maybe if you wer more specific as to the nature of the deception, we could offer you better advice.
He was an excellent student who essentially quit school. He went from having a 3.86 average to failing every single final in the space of a year. He was a talented athlete who has quit both sports he has played and excelled at since the age of five. He was a funny, energetic kid who is morose and tired all the time. He was sensitive and considerate and he's become withdrawn and selfish. He's just a different person.
I've thought drugs, of course, but he's eighteen and won't submit to a drug test. He swears he doesn't use- and honestly- we don't see any physical signs of it (and we know what to look for- I'm a highschool teacher and my husband is in medicine).
Clavus said:
Quote:
My mom was very good at reconciling the extreme sides of my personality and viewing me as single person who wore different faces. As a result, I showed her more and more of the "me" that existed outside of the house.
I know this is the key. I know I need to be less emotional and more accepting and believing of exactly what you say about being a single person who wears different faces. That's exactly what I want people to believe and accept about me too.
I just don't know how to get around the sadness and the worry to get to the point where I can do that.

I really appreciate your responses. It's helpful to hear from you guys, and I think, as I said, you both have insights that I'm not objective enough to come up with on my own.

Thanks for taking the time.
josie is offline  
 

Tags
good, libertarian, parenting, thing

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 04:24 PM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360