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You cannot allow a 3 year old to govern themselves because when they are 30 they will not govern themselves. They will be governed by other men and by society. Parenting is about preperation. If your child is ready for the world when they leave, and they are ready to be a positive force in that world, you are a success. If you allow your child to govern him or herself, they will only work within the barriers where they are punished by life (not looking both ways before crossing the street, for example, would be a very difficult lesson). Yes, eventually, your child should be self sufficient...but they don't come that way and allowing them to raise themselves makes you neglectful. Children of neglectful parents can often have moderate to serious anti-social behavior.
Do what you can to prepare them for the world.
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