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Old 02-01-2005, 10:54 PM   #1 (permalink)
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What gets you through those tough days?

Things have been pretty rough for me these days. I'm underpaid, underappreciated and that whole shabang. I just try to make it through each day and tell myself it can only get better. I wanted to know what you all do to get through those tough times?

My solution is music, and for the past 2 weeks my saving grace has been Ben Harper. I've seriously listened to him pretty much continuously every day. I walk into work and put my headphones on and just try to get through another day. I cannot explain, and probably don't have to as I know there are a bunch of Ben fans here, but his music just speaks to me on a whole different level. It makes me forget all the trival politics at work and realize that there is so much more out there for me. My fear is that this will only hold me out for so long and I am looking for some suggestions, ideas or anything new I can try to get out of this rut.
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Old 02-01-2005, 11:19 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Art always seems to help me when I fall into a rut like you seem to be going through right now. Take a class, learn an instrument, explore new music, do something to get out your frustration and anger.

On a professional level try to evolve out of your current role and situation. You don't have to land another job, but you owe it to yourself to at least explore what's out there for you.

Keep your chin up, because things will get better.
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Old 02-02-2005, 12:00 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Been there man. What got me through days like that is having something to look forward to. I had a real shitty job a couple of years back while I was waiting for something better to come along. Until then, I had to keep my skills up so I kept studying until my time came. Eventually it did and I'm a lot happier now.

So buck up, and if you have something to look forward to then focus on that. Maybe look for another job if the rat race and the politics are getting to you.
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Old 02-02-2005, 06:44 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: Troy, NY
Seems to me like you just need a change... Something to break the monotany. What do you like doing? What stimulates you mentally? Figure that out and then go out there and do it. If you can't figure out a situation in which you can actually do something you enjoy sometimes, then you probably need to think about shifting around your life a little.

Reading up on some of the Dalai Lama's teachings tought me that happiness is one of the most important things in life. If there is never happiness, and you are always miserable, then you are pretty much bound to go crazy in one way or another. And the worse off you are psyologically, the less able you are to manipulate your environment to your liking (in this situation "manipulation" carries no material connotation - it can be purely mental), so the less likely you are to be able to regain happiness.
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Old 02-02-2005, 06:57 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Sometimes when Im down, I try to cheer someone else up, send a little note...make a phone call or two, to take my mind off ME (thats not the ONLY time I do that kind of thing)

Sometimes I lock myself in my room and put on a movie I know is gonna make me have a good cry and I feel tons better.
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Old 02-02-2005, 06:58 AM   #6 (permalink)
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You just have to find your niche. On my worst days at work, my headphones are on my ears and the tables are spinning before the door closes behind me. The key is basically finding something to divert your attention to. You cant just pretend like you wont have to go to work the next morning, but you can put it to the back of your mind for a while and, key word here, relax. I also consume lots of beer, but I dont consider that to be as much constructive as it is delicious.
 
Old 02-02-2005, 07:04 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Depends on what is making the day tough... I have different coping strategies...

When my current job gets me down, I try to remember the good things about my job (the travel, the money, the meals I get to eat when travelling)

When my last job turned horrible I alternated between thinking about my family that I was working to support and fantasies of turning my bosses head into a fine red mist with a shotgun...

But in general I visualize a future that I want to be in... I see myself in a job that I like, I see myself financially secure, etc. Then I make plans to achieve those goals... This works for me...
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Old 02-02-2005, 07:31 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I'm an adrenaline junkie. It's hard to worry about work, wife, kids, etc when you are going 50mph around a 20mph corner on a motorcycle. Scaring the shit out of myself on skis works in the winter.
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Old 02-02-2005, 08:30 AM   #9 (permalink)
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If life gets me down, I find that doing something that yields an improvement to my living conditions helps me out a lot. I'll do a super thorough cleaning of a room in my house, organize my garage, put in some new landscape plants, detail my car, etc.

I find that my mental state can often mirror my physical surroundings, so if the place is trashed and dingy that's how I feel. Conversely, if I can look around and see something good and obvious that I have accomplished it makes me feel better. The main thing is that for me it has to be some kind of physical activity, if I try sitting down to read or watch TV etc, I just end up slipping back into brooding.
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Old 02-02-2005, 08:41 AM   #10 (permalink)
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When I start to loose perspective I like to take a 3-day weekend and go on a nice long solo-hike away from everyone and everything. I take my gear, a book of philosophy, my journal, and a sketchbook.

When there are no distractions and your concerns become very simple and basic--even if it is for only a few days--things have a way of re-orienting themselves.

I always find myself driving back home feeling like I have awaken out of a deep slumber...
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Old 02-02-2005, 09:19 AM   #11 (permalink)
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I run... just getting out there and doing something physical just boosts me so much...
if its more school getting me down i get away from campus for a weekend... go to one of the nearby state parks and just spend a day or 2 wandering around there...
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Old 02-02-2005, 12:18 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Thanks all. Suggestions are helping. I'm really considering a career change these days. My job has gotten stagnate and I am bored of making crappy games based off crappy movies. I've been in crunch mode so that means no hockey lately either, which is huge release for me.(except when those bastard fowards hit me in the mask in warmups...keep the shots down a bit! You're trying to warm me up not win the skills competition!) I've started a new habit today, taking a 20 minute walk during the day, just to get out of the office for a bit and try to get my mind off things. It did put me in better spirits thus far so I figure that is a good step.

Again, Thanks all!!!
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Old 02-02-2005, 12:22 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 00111000
I've started a new habit today, taking a 20 minute walk during the day, just to get out of the office for a bit and try to get my mind off things. It did put me in better spirits thus far so I figure that is a good step.

Again, Thanks all!!!
Gotta say that's much better than fantasizing about killing your boss... sounds like a good routine...
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Old 02-02-2005, 04:22 PM   #14 (permalink)
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I do one of the following:

Nap. Escapist, but pleasant.

Clean. If my life is a mess, at least my surroundings can be orderly.

Meditate. Somehow focusing on my immediate situation puts things in perspective. I have it better than probably 90% of the world, and when I remember that I don't feel so bad about whatever it is that's bothering me.

The first two are temporary fixes.

The meditation is a change in perspective and usually makes things work, especially in situations where I am not in a position to change anything besides my own reactions.

If you are working in a toxic environment and can't see any way to change the toxicity, you might want to look into a change of job. Best of luck!
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Old 02-02-2005, 05:02 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Sleep, eat, or bitch incessantly. That's me, though.

Eh, I guess music gets me through stuff too.
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Old 02-04-2005, 10:42 PM   #16 (permalink)
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I sleep, or smoke pot to avoid the unpleasantness of my life. It works.
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Old 02-05-2005, 02:00 AM   #17 (permalink)
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My two children are the key to me surviving the odd rough patch. They love me unconditionally and rely on me totally (as their primary carer) for surival. If I fall in a heap, they suffer. And I won't let that happen. Shit happens, but life goes on.
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Old 02-05-2005, 02:35 AM   #18 (permalink)
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I read. There's something to be said for immersion in the written word. I can do it anywhere.... At the worst point at my former workplace, I could find a quiet bench or spot at lunch, and while away the hour someplace far, far away. It was hard to come back sometimes, but I always returned refreshed and able to face the second half of my day.
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Old 02-05-2005, 03:32 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Euphoria trance, the abusal of everyone and everything, along with hours upon hours of watching BBC nature documentaries in pijamas.

Theres gota be some kind of serious psycological problem in that, but hey...
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Old 02-07-2005, 06:29 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Location: Near & There
Quote:
Originally Posted by 00111000
I wanted to know what you all do to get through those tough times?
I've been there, but not for a long time. My life is not perfect, but I've become more understanding about circumstance & dealing with it & realizing, it ain't personal, it's just life.

Assuming you are not facing the break-up of a marriage or long-term relationship, a death of a family member or close friend, or the discovery that you have a fatal/disabling medical condition, your best bet is to merely break your routine. Get out of your daily habit and live the moment.

For me, it was spending time on things I liked to do but never seemed to get time to do & also picking up new hobbies that were immersive and got me around new people. You'd be amazed how therapeutic an interest can be to your psyche. Do the unexpected for yourself. It might be as simple as taking an adult continuing education class on a topic you always been interested in. For me that was blacksmithing and today, I can build most anything I fancy. Before the class, I was dangerous with tools, to myself & others.

Good luck, you'll get through; everyone does!

soundmotor

PS: Music was a double-edged sword for me then and I can't say it was helpful when I was listening to too introspective lyricists. Often times, their angst hit a bit too close to home & made me go into self-pity overdrive. I am not saying this is where you are, just that sometimes music can pull you into its depths.
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Old 02-08-2005, 12:33 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Location: NYC
I am sure there are many people who can relate to this thread, it's something that we all deal with some time or the other. I can definitely relate, it's difficult to feel that way, a rough day, week, or month is something that is common, and usually it's difficult to get yourself through, but I usually tell myself that there are better days ahead, and I tend to look forward for them, and that gets me through. Another thing that helps me, is writing, I often write and let out whatever is eating me and that helps a lot. You can always speak to people, it's a known fact that speaking about your problems, whether big or small, can help you a great deal. If you need someone to chat with, I am here, please feel free to message me. *Hugs*
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Old 02-08-2005, 12:32 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by soundmotor
PS: Music was a double-edged sword for me then and I can't say it was helpful when I was listening to too introspective lyricists. Often times, their angst hit a bit too close to home & made me go into self-pity overdrive. I am not saying this is where you are, just that sometimes music can pull you into its depths.
Very good point. I never really looked at it that way.

Things have gotten better over the past week, not great but I'm getting more motivated to do things and it's been getting nicer out so I can do more outside on the weekends. I realized that I needed to get things back that made me happy and one of those things was to start skating again. I've got my plans drawn up for my garage micro ramp and hope to get started on that soon. The only problem is the $$..so now I buy a 2x4 or sheet of plywood evertime I'm at Home Depot. Just like Johnny said I'll get it one peice at at time. It'll cost a helluva lot more than a dime though.
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Old 02-08-2005, 12:38 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ella
Shit happens, but life goes on.
This needs to be my new mantra (not that I had an old one...)
I tend to focus too much on little details that dont really mean anything, and get so worked up over them.... I constantly remind myself to step back, look at the big picture and realize how damn good I've got it. That's why my desk is surrounded by pictures of the people I love. That's how I get through my tough days.
 
 

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