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Seems to me like you just need a change... Something to break the monotany. What do you like doing? What stimulates you mentally? Figure that out and then go out there and do it. If you can't figure out a situation in which you can actually do something you enjoy sometimes, then you probably need to think about shifting around your life a little.
Reading up on some of the Dalai Lama's teachings tought me that happiness is one of the most important things in life. If there is never happiness, and you are always miserable, then you are pretty much bound to go crazy in one way or another. And the worse off you are psyologically, the less able you are to manipulate your environment to your liking (in this situation "manipulation" carries no material connotation - it can be purely mental), so the less likely you are to be able to regain happiness.
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C4 to your door, no beef no more...
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