Living alone V. Living with someone

[Brooke]

For the longest time I though I was so extroverted that I could baerly stand being a moment without a person. Not necessarily being the center of attention, but being with someone. Alone time actually hurt me.

Then- after a few disasterous relationships, friends and boyfriend - I find myself simply wanting - actually craving to be left alone. I don't really do anything, and I feel very lazy, but it is almost as if the opposite has taken ahold of me.

Anyone got some encouragement for my current state of confusion? Do you have advice - or even a simple explination?

[ixion]

You should talk to your doctor, there could be a medical reason you're not feeling like yourself.

Maybe you do need some alone time, bad relationships can be really tough on a person. I find that exercise really helps me feel better when I'm in a funk.

Good luck

[webfiend]

Work on a balance, that's all. Your instincts are working to protect yourself being from harm by people, just like they were there to protect you from loneliness before. Just monitor yourself and keep from going too far one way or the other. Ixion's got the right idea. Exercise is good (though I hardly ever do more than go for a long walk), and talking to a doctor or counselor is a really good idea if you feel like your behavior and thoughts aren't matching up with how you see yourself.

[shesus]

Originally Posted by Brooke

I find myself simply wanting - actually craving to be left alone.

I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to have time to yourself. It can give you time to learn about yourself and think. I guess it depends on how much time you want to be alone. I am a teacher and spend all day with 26 kids yelling and demanding my attention. I need alone time after my day just to unwind and sort my thoughts. However, if you like to be around people, you may find that you think you want alone time, but once you get it, you don't

Originally Posted by Brooke

I don't really do anything, and I feel very lazy, but it is almost as if the opposite has taken ahold of me.

If this continues, you might need to get it checked out. I used to be very lazy. So lazy that going to get a glass a water or going to the bathroom was too much work. All I did was lay on the couch, watch television, and do nothing. After a couple months of that, I became very suicidal and depressed. I went to therapy and took Celexa for about a year and a half. I now enjoy doing things again and wake up at 8:00 on my days off. I used to sleep until noon.

[tiltedbc]

I've both lived with other people and lived alone, mainly in apartments.

There might be a tramatic event or fear that makes you feel uncomfortable being alone. This might be something you need to face in order to overcome it.

Living alone is a good way to learn how to take care of yourself. Just take the time to find a situation that's both affordable and safe enough so you can enjoy life a bit. After a year or so, get a roommate.

[StormBerlin]

I lived with my ex for almost two years and if i had the chance to go back, I would probably opt to live alone. Now I live alone and it's great but in your situation specifically I would probably see a doctor to make sure you're not depressed. You have a ton of support here, so make sure you take advantage of it. Whenever i'm feeling all lonely and wanting to talk I just browse the forums and feel much better when i'm done. It's hard to feel alone when you have such a close-knit group of people willing to share pretty much anything under the sun.

[Brooke]

*laughs a bit*
I used to be extreamly depressed. Now it comes and goes, but my life dramatically changed over Christmas for the better. I know I will be able to do alright when I am at home. I have my own room and I am away from alot of painful emeories. At school I am always around people and memories.

*shrugs* I dunno people - there is only so much a counselor can do. The rest is up to yerself. Thanks for letting me share is all.

Subthought: I think the fact that I am single will always bother me, I am a companion person, and am searching for some special SO. But yet, at the same time, I know I am not ready for that in many ways. it is the wrong time in my life. Quite possably that self honesty is getting me down.

[noGon]

currently living alone..
Gets abit boring sometime's, but it could be worse :P

[Demeter]

I've been living alone (with my kids) since Sept '04 when my husband passed. Its scary sometimes, and very fulfilling at other times. I must say I like being Queen of the Castle.

[Fiver]

I think living with the right person is important. Sometimes I need alone time, and if that is never given , I can go quite mad!!
Of course , to much alone time will also drive me batty. I need a balance!

[ironmaiden7o7]

There are times when we need to be alone. We heal and mend better while alone. Redecorate the place you are staying in, try to go out more, not necessarily partying, but for a walk around the block, visit old friends, make new friends, write your feelings down, listen to music, take bubble baths! Trust me,they work. Good luck. I hope you get over this feeling soon.

[webfiend]

Originally Posted by ironmaiden7o7

There are times when we need to be alone. We heal and mend better while alone. Redecorate the place you are staying in, try to go out more, not necessarily partying, but for a walk around the block, visit old friends, make new friends, write your feelings down, listen to music, take bubble baths! Trust me,they work. Good luck. I hope you get over this feeling soon.

good point, and well put