Travelling to Central America.. Opened my eyes, made me learn a lot about myself, met a bunch of awesome people and surfed some amazing waves.


Have you ever seen a dead body?

Yes, when I living in Portugal, the ship that I was on was tied up in the bend of the river about 1 mile below the big double decker bridge.
http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c3...-de_dom258.jpg
The way the river currents worked with the tides, everything eventually ended up in our corner of the river, including anyone who committed suicide by jumping off the top of the bridge. One morning, while painting the waterline, some unfortunate soul bobbed to the surface right beside me. They figured he'd been in the water about 2 weeks, enough time to bloat, and for his skin to start to rot. I had to reach around his torso to tie a line so he wouldn't float away while we fetched the police. After that, everytime someone committed suicide or was reported missing in someway, some police divers would show up to look around under the ship!

Post error, sorry.

Umm, ok. Someone forgot to leave a question. I'll just go with what Carno left...

I saw a dead body once. A friend of mine was in a casket. He died in his sleep at 23.

Would yo like to run your own business? If so, what kind would it be?

While I hate the concept behind bed and breakfasts... way too joiney and forced socialization... I want to own a bed and breakfast - or small inn - in the mountains of vermont or new hampshire... (though lately, I'm rethinking the cold and considering a warmer (and cheaper) climate... my bed and breakfast would be an establishment for antisocial people... :) Great service while otherwise being ignored - no one would ask you how your are doing - unless you wanted to be asked... I actually have started on a business plan for this...


The NY lottery is at about 250 million dollars -- if you won - what would you do with that kindof money?

1. Build a beautiful house that will spaciously fit all 6 of the children I want.
2. Buy the Vette my wife always wanted but might never get.
3. Buy a home for my mother/mother in law.
4. Buy a Hummer.
5. Buy a Painfully fast car.
6. Put a large amount in some fund that I can live off the interest for the rest of my live.

Yeah that's a good start. I'd eventually put money aside for the kids college and help out my family to have nice stuff also. I'd most definitely never become one of those people you see on TV with the houses all over the world and homes so big you don't actually see most of the rooms you have on a regular basis. Oh and I'd probably own a lot of cars.

What would you do if you won the NY Lottery?

Buy a house in Nantucket. Donate to worthy causes.


Is "i've Got A Golden Ticket" earworming you since the commercial came out for Dave Chapelle's new movie?

You know, I hadn't even heard that he has a movie coming out. I must be getting old.

At what age did you start noticing pop culture passing you by?

About four years ago. There was a band on MTV that was screaming shit, and a whole bunch of kids that needed haircuts jumping around like a bunch of crazed zombies.

I knew that it was fucked up. Then I heard the same song on the radio a couple of weeks later, and the song kept getting played, over and over. I shook my head and wondered why kids didn't just stick to Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin.


What are your lunch plans? Did you bring your lunch? What did you bring?
Are you going out for lunch? Where?

I'm going home to make a tuna fish sammich. Then right back. I have so much work to do it's ridiculous. I can't wait until I'm done here.


Did you ever have to make up your mind, pick up on one and leave the other behind?

It's not often easy and not often kind.

Did you ever have to make up your mind?

Yeah, I was just thirteen.


Do you believe in magic?

Not in the slightest.


Do you believe in love?

I'm jaded. It comes and goes. Yet, somehow, I still believe in love... even if it's just a little bit.

Do you believe in God?

Sure, but it's a quiet faith, I don't stick it in anyone's face.


can you paint pictures?

With sound.


What gaudy or tasteless fad have you secretly participated in?

I confess I had a Cabbage Patch Kid back in the 80's (Grade 4 I think). His original name was Amos, but I actually sent in to have his name changed to David. They sent me an new official birth certificate. In my defence, I like to point out that even the cool kids had them. I even went to a party where everyone brought theirs along.

What musician or band would you like to have over for dinner?

Oh that's easy! Billy Corgan. I ADORED the Smashing Pumpkins, still think they're great, think Billy is a musical genius, AND on top of all that he's one of the big members in the Integral Arts circle, a movement that I have recently gotten into.... Plus, I had the biggest crush on him when I was younger (which Martel makes endless fun of!).

Quick! Your phone is ringing! Who do you want it to be on the other end?

Sir Paul...


Have you ever been in a building that caught on fire?

Yep, it was my high school. Some dumb fuck decided it was smart enough to light up the bathroom that was right next to my classroom.

Whats your favorite tv show and why?

Sopranos, it's an intricate tale weaving a myriad of story lines into one show. Plus, Tony will put a hit on me if I don't watch.

What's your favorite TV show and why?

Mythbusters, currently, because I like watching them blow shit up. I think it is a great job.

I also like the Thirsty Traveller, because he gets to drink all over the world.

I believe if you added paintball fights and strippers, I would die, having experienced heaven.

If you could make a TV show, what would it be? Why?

You know those "lifestyle" shows where someone tries out a a bunch of different restaurants, or stays at different hotels, or experiences various local adventures? Well my show would be kind of like that. I'd travel the world and offer critique and comentary on the worlds finest blowjobs.

Have you ever injured yourself with standard office supplies? Please elaborate.

Oh sure. papercuts... One time I got really pissed off and kicked a chair, an old style office chair. A heavy old style office chair. I learned to never kick heavy wooden things again.

Do you believe the early bird gets the worm?

Depends on what you mean by standard office supplies? I've stabbed myself in the palm once or twice with a pencil (by accident, of course), but my best accident has to be when I was working as a production artist at at newspaper. I was going through old flats looking for old ads, (while holding my x-acto knife in my right hand, like you'd hold a pen), and I slipped and sliced my left thumb knuckle open. I mean right open, like a chunk of skin peeled off and you could see the bone.

What was really funny about this was it, that a week before I had been cutting up a cherry tree in the backyard (you can see where this is going, right?) and the handsaw got stuck on a knot, so I gave it a good shove, and it kicked up and I drove it across the back of my left hand! So I still had the stiches from the saw accident in my left hand, and when I walked into the emergency room with the same hand wrapped up, the looks on the faces of the same doctors and nurses I had seen a week before was priceless!!




What is the biggest surgery you've ever had?

I had a peroneal tendon reconstruction in my left ankle. Had to have it, everytime I walked the tendon would snap around my ankle bone and tear it a little more each time. It was rough and I had to learn how to walk again.

What's your most irrational fear?

The Dark. Especially the creepy tentacled monster things that live under the basement stairs or under the bed waiting to reach out and snag my legs when I'm walking by.


Do you like watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer?

Sure he does. Unfortunately the early bird also meets up with the cat that has been patiently waiting under the bushes all night just on the off chance that the early bird will be early!


Do you like Buffy the Vampire Slayer?

No. I never saw the movie, and the series was terrible. The only thing it had going for it was that a majority of the women in it were cute.

What piece of advice would you most like your (future) child to take to heart?

I'll articulate this better when the time comes but:

As you go through school, don't get wrapped up in the cool/uncool/popular/unpopular/jock/geek phony bullshit drama. Recognize it as fantasy, exploited to sell you clothes, music and movie tickets. Concentrate on being a decent hard working guy, who's easy-going, polite and respectful, and you'll come through just fine. It all falls away after highschool anyways.

Are there any TFP names that you're unsure of the correct pronunciation?
(For example: I pronounce Ustwo as Use-Twoe, and Redlemon as Reddle-mon)

There are a number of usernames whose pronunciation of which I am unsure. One in particular is fresnelly. I pronounce it as frez-nell-ee. I could be wrong.

What message were you trying to get across with your last film? Were you aware of the uproar it was going to cause as you were filming it or did it come as a surprise to you after its release? Also, do you feel any personal responsibility for all the deaths that ensued due to the rioting that occurred after its premiere?

Who told you about my secret career as a filmmaker? :D
Message: people suck - I think I've done a good job with that... I wanted an uproar and it seems I got one... I have no respnsibility for anything.. though I usually get blamed for everything... so ...

Stuffing or Potatoes - and why?

I am extremely fond of them both, but I favor a good gooey stuffing, but not that overly salty boxed junk.


Do you meditate, and how?

Not unless you count my "private" time. I'd like to try it some time.

If you had the choice to have one hand that can kill anything with one touch, but the other that can cure anything with one touch would you and why/why not?

I'm gonna go with the one hand cure all. Because if I went with the other choice, who am I gonna kill? Probably certain people but I got lots of people on the list that I could use the touch of my hand to cure.

If you decide to join the military, which branch would it be and why?

I did and am now a Marine. I wanted the toughest branch to get into.

If you could save all of your familie's lives from a horrible death (the living ones of course) by killing one innocent person would you and why?

Hmmm... tough call... I'm not overly fond of most of my family - and those are just the ones I know.. there are a plethora of cousins that are just bizarro... Probably not...

Do you like your family - not love them because you are supposed to love them - but actually like them... where you willingly want to spend time with them and actually enjoy their company.

No. I really really do not like my stepmother and any of my stepbrother and stepsister, but not to the extent that I hate them. I'm not sure if I want to spend time with my family but I can't anyways since I'm forced not to due to my schedule, eg: They're going on a cruise trip next week and I can't come because of school and work committment.

What is the one thing that your father was absolutely commited to? For example; your dad will always absolutely commit to promises he would make.

Some of them, yes. At one point, none of them, no, but we've all done a lot of growing, while some of us have regressed back into an angry child stage of life.

Say you have the education and experience to get your absolute dream job, be it fireman or accountant, and you're already wealthy and need the job just to pay taxes on your estate, what job would you do?

Divemaster in the Carribbean.

If you had a free vacation to europe, or a free vacation to the carribean, which would you take, and why?

Europe, I went to the carribean once and its so so while European vacation would allow me to explore the rich and vast history of the past.

What is the one thing that your father was absolutely commited to? For example; your dad will always absolutely commit to promises he would make.