German Shepard. but currently a have a balck sausage dog called piper.


what makes you sad?

When I run out of orange juice when I'm still thirsty.


When and what's the best you've felt about yourself?

When I got married. Nothing comes close.

When was the last time you changed jobs?

When I quit my part time job to join the Marines.


Have you ever worked at McDonalds?

Never worked at McDonalds.

What's your favorite memory from last week?

Taking my wife to dinner, on her birthday. Which also, just happens to be Valentine's Day.

What, if anything, do you collect?

Dolls... mainly Madame Alexander dolls.. .I'm about as ungirly as a person can get... but the dolls give me a smile... i also collect cookbooks... dustbunnes... and a few more dragons than i should...


How can I get out of going to a customer site on Long Island next week?

Tell your employer you have a phobia related to the customer's name. Because of your illness, ADA requires they make reasonable accomodations. So, they must send someone else...

Did you see the sunrise?

Mal:

Run away to Saskatchewan.

All you have to do is say the word and people kind of quiet down. They will think you are in the CIA or something, and off to a foreign land near Uzbeckistan.

Sir Lance: Yes, I did see the sun rise. It was amazing today. You must understand that being located at the 52nd latitude means that our sunrises at 0812 local. If you are sleeping in past that, you should feel some shame.

What is your favorite TFP thread?

I'm going to be vain and boost the first thread I started, because it never got much of a response, but I really like it:

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...ght=henry+earl

Have you ever walked through the scary part of town at night?

I live in the scary part of town. Since I've lived here, there's been a shooting and a stabbing. The part of twon that does scare me is this one stretch of road in the nice part of town. It's full of trees that block out the sky, no street lights, and 50mph traffic with no sidewalk. So I walked home.

If you could organize a flash mob, what would you have them do?

my flash mob would stand in the middle of the street, and do the hokey pokey... why? because it's my mob, and they'll hokey if i want 'em to...

Do you keep receipts for purchases? why or why not...

I keep reciepts for anything tax deductible, mark the appropriate information on the back and keep a running tally by category in my tax file. Taxes are a breeze...

Have you ever had, or participated in, an extramarital affair? What were the consequences?

This is not the answer anybody would be interested to hear, but no. There was a woman I met just AFTER the nick of time (when she was about to be married), totally my kind of girl - slightly hippy musicologist type of geek girl. I worked for her for about three months and then we went to a lot of the same conferences through the years. I would always catch her staring at me, when I of course was staring at her.

A friend of mine met her once when I wasn't there. Apparently they talked. When he saw me next, he said without any mention of her from me, "you two should stay away from each other. You'd get into trouble."

This has been going on for 15 years. We haven't even lived near each other for the past 10. The last time I saw her, she was pregnant and *still* catching glances at me. When I of course was catching glances at her. Just a month before I left to move up here, we hired one of her former co-workers. She told me *X* kept asking about me. We're no we're no longer in the same industry and I have no reason to visit her town anymore. So I guess that non-fling is over. I was never tempted. In fact, I liked hanging out with her because I got the benefits of her coolness with the safety of knowing that realistically, uh-uh. Even if I was stupid enough to be fool around, I knew that she was smart enough not to.

But no.

Why, have you?

A long time ago, I seduced a married woman. I have regretted it ever since.

What are your regrets?

I regret ignoring that freshman girl when I was a senior in high school. I regret letting myself down during my freshman year of college. I regret going to this college. Not much other than that, despite all the trouble I got into when I was younger.


Have you ever played spin the bottle? If so, tell us about it.

The cool kids during middle school didn't let me play while a game was going on in the backroom of our class. So I ratted them out.

As a kid, did you have an allowance or did you have to do chores for you money?

Both. I got a small allowance and could earn a little extra by doing extra chores that I normally wasn't assigned.

Do you like Easter peeps?

mmm Peeps-- especially toasted or broiled on graham crackers -- once you get past the screaming - they are oh so melty tasty goodness.... but in original yellow- pink and purple are just wrong...

What's your favorite treat in your easter basket

those cadbury cream eggs


do you have a chocolate fetish?

I love chocolate in pretty much every single form, and eating it off of someone or having it eaten off yourself is about twice as good, so if that counts as a fetish, then I most certainly do! :D

What is your favorite curse word?

I have to say fuck is my favorite. I like using fuck in new and creative ways also, like fuckery, fuckface, fucktastic, fuckdick, fucktruck, fuckstick, etc.


Do you get offended when people curse at you?

only when they say "fuckery, fuckface, fucktastic, fuckdick, fucktruck or fuckstick"



what do you do when you get the hiccups?

laugh... because the hiccups make me giggle.. i've never found a method that makes them go away - but laughing makes me forget i have them...

What's your favorite snack food...

Oh man thats tuff :(. I guess I'd have to say.....damn....I have no idea..OOOH!! Strawberry Newtons! There we go.

Umm okay have you ever let out a silent fart and let someone else take the blame for it? You know what I'm talkin about..c'mon now.

Asta!!

Sure.

Now have you ever let out a silent fart, and actively blamed someone else for it? Not just looking around innocently, but pointing a finger at someone?

Yep. I was in kindergarten. It was devious, and completely successful. Nowadays I don't ever fart in public so it doesn't come up. :)

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I wouldn't mind looking like Tom Cruise


ever considered surgically altering some part of your body?

tom cruise is short - plus you're way better looking that he is...(shudda went with his wallet instead...

Nope - pain is bad.. though having smaller feet would be nice...

Look around you - -describe something that is the color green...

My walls. *barf*

What was your favorite game growing up?

Board Game: Life
Video Game: Commando (on Commodore 64)
Activity Game: Duck, Duck Goose.

Have you ever invented a new word that you use regularily? (Besides swears)

I use the word "prolly" all the time. It started in IMs and chat programs, but migrated to real life. The infection has spread to several friends. :)

What do you seek in a romantic partner?

A pulse!

What is the meanest put down you've ever used on somebody?

Oh man thats a tuff one. I've used soooooo many I'm such a smart ass. Usually to girls too...when they treat my like shit. I guess I'll go with my brother in law I think he was arguing with my sister and he said something like "Shut the freakin door you're letting all the mesquitoes in!" and I said something along the lines of "Why don't you shut yer freakin mouth cause you're letting all the shit in" or something stupid like that. Eh I'm drawing a blank.

One song as your entrance theme into a room what would it be?

Asta!!

Seether - Out of my Way


What's the meanest thing anyone has ever said to you?

"You will make a lousy father."

When was the last time you were genuinely frightened?

Rabid dogs were involved.

What do you usually day dream about?

I had a very vivid and realistic nightmare a couple months ago that scared the shit out of me. I woke up in a panic, sweating and full of adrenaline. It wasn't a pleasant experience. I wasn't scared for long, but I *was* genuinely frightened for a minute or so.

D'oh, too slow...I daydream about all sorts of things, but usually only at work. Anything to keep my mind occupied. Today I was thinking about what I'd do if I had won that big lottery a couple of days ago :thumbsup:

What is the longest stretch of time that you have been awake?

Short of finals week in college, where i don't think i slept at all... probably the last time i flew to australia... I was up an entire day before -- 19 hour flight -- got off the plane, went to the hotel, showered, sat thru a full day of meetings and other stuff.. got back to my hotel... and couldn't sleep i was so overtired....

What's your favorite joke...

Once a upon a time, there was this young lady named Mal...oh wait, you don't want to hear this one ;)

What was the best getaway time you've spent with your friends?