Split my pants at a business meeting. Fortunately, the resort was able to lend me a pair.

How old were you the first time you fell in love?

Paula Partner, Grade 5. She's a lesbian now.

Nick and Jessica. Were you as disappointed as I was that they broke up?

Who? And who? Oh...are those your folks? Yeah, it's rough when parents split.

If you had a magic wand, what is the one physical characteristic that you would instantly change about yourself? What non-physical characteristic would you change?

I would make my body incredibly fit (so fit I wouldn't have to maintain it) then I would change my incredible ability for procrastination into an incredible ability to succeed with little effort.

How did your parents make you who you are (and not in the physical way).

interesting question... i don't think it was intentional but they made me overly critical of myself and very demanding of myself


When you get sick -- what makes you feel better?

Chicken noodle soup, lots of warm blankets, a quiet house and old movies.

Describe the circumstances around your first major crush.

His name was Ray, I was in 5th grade, I think. He was a great guy, his dad sold jewelry. He gave me a pair of earrings, and when my mom saw them, she made me give them back and stop *seeing* him (what the point of that was I don't know, it's not like we dated or saw each other outside school anyways). I told her I'd have to keep my eyes closed in class to avoid seeing him, and I got in trouble (again) for being a smart-mouth.

Some things never change, it seems.

Favorite type of PJ's for gals? (This is admittedly a self-serving question, I'm going to a pajama party, reg. party but everyone's wearing pjs, and I gotta figure out what to wear. Don't want to wear my reg. pjs, and don't want to wear lingerie to the party.)

If I'm wearing pajamas - I like flannel bottoms... and a big comfy soft washed 1000 times tshirt... with socks..

What's your favorite flower?

cauli...

have you ever been to bend, oregon?

No, is that a real place. Sounds interesting...I haven't been any farther west than chicago sadly :(


If you could be someone famous, what would you want to be famous for?

For the rest of my life? Jodie Foster -- she's pretty, she's intelligent, she's rich, and I'm sure she'd have no problem landing a male.. :)
For the day- Warren Buffett - just so I can set up some investments and figure out how tomake a lot of money quickly.
Or Bill Gates and just get Maleficent a cashier's check for a billion dollars

What's the best practical joke you ever played?

Faxed a credit denial from a major computer manufacturer to my boss while he was on vacation in mexico. For a system we were to implement in two weeks. Had a hell of a time crafting look-alike letterhead!

What is your favorite memory involving a family member?

My wedding :p

At least she became a family member during, and many others were there.

What's something you really hope to accomplish in the next few months?

Becoming strong again, to fix all my aches and issues! So I'm going to the gym now and trying to eat a little better.

What's your first memory?

Mrs. O'Rights elbowing me in the ribs, yelling at me to quit snoring.

Oh...you mean ever. Well, I remember peeing on my father, while he was changing, or rather trying to change my diaper.


Your house catches on fire. You have 2 minutes, to get your most prized possesion(s), and get the hell out. What do you grab? No time to stop to think about it. You've got to get moving. NOW! What is it? What did you grab?

Good question! Assuming you mean material posessions, my camera, my wallet and my clothes... lol. My hockey equipment is in the shed, so I'll assume that doesn't count.

Who is the one person of the same sex as you that you'd consider having sex with?

flyman, 'cause it's all about the ass, baybee! :thumbsup:


What skeleton do you hide in your closet?

There are no longer any skeletons because the bodies are all buried. :hmm:

Where is your favorite haunt, joint, shuga shack etc.?

I was naked at birth!! They all saw!

What object do you cherish the most?

The object that I cherish the most. As materialistic as I seem to be, there is really not an object that I cherish. However, if my place was on fire and I could grab only one thing...I would grab my pictures because you can't recreate images captured in the past.

What is your favorite television show ever?

Star Trek. The original. As hammy and schloky as it could be, it was fun and visionary.

If you were on a desert island and you had to pick only one person you would be stranded with, who would it be?

Mother Theresa. I'd make her build the signal fires and carry the firewood.



How many Commandments have you broken?

2 or 3. How many are there again?



Question:
If you could choose to be unhappy and rich or poor and happy, which would it be? I'm not talking about suicidely unhappy here, just discontented.

Poor and happy. I can't see any situation where money triumphs happiness, although poverty is often the cause of gret unhappiness.

Do ypu have to work today, and are you digruntled if so? :|

I do have to work today but I am in Canada, so I am relatively gruntled. :)


Have you ever been to Antarctica? If not, if I were to offer you a trip there would you go?

Hell yeah I'd go! Do I HAVE to take the wify LOL.

Any job in the world is yours all you have to do is name it. What is that job?

Professional Nipple Tweaker. ;)

http://www.boreme.com/boreme/media-p...pple_tweak.jpg

Name the one thing in your life, that you have done that you are the most ashamed of.

I stole an etch-a-sketch when I was 5. It was left on the grass outside my house, I knew who it belonged to, but I took it.

If you were able to go to any country in the world (outside of the one you live in), which would it be, and why?

Australia.. though which part I'm not sure - Sydney is awfully expensive...

Oz has everything - beautiful country - 4 seasons (though christmas in the middle of summer would take some getting used to) nice people, I speak the language...

or canuckistan - because if TFP is any indicator - the boys up yonder north are just soooo adorable... :)

What personal effect is on your desk right now?

A brain...
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1.../deskbrain.jpg

How do you feel about how our relationship is progressing?

sidebar: did you take your brain out to give it some air? :D

For GH:

I feel like I hardly know you, because we don't talk as openly and as honestly as we used to... I feel that things started to go downhill when I suggested we introduce a third member into our cybersex chats; a suggestion you clearly weren't ready for or interested in...



How do you feel about your own body hair?

You never take out the trash, you bastard. And you keep the fire extiguisher and the Schweppes next to the brain. How many times have I told you to keep it next to the lungs?

Edit: late again, Me and my body hair are cool. There's not much.

How many places have you lived?

about 20... could i name them all - probably not...

are you smarter or less smart than the average person - defend your answer

I'd say that I am slightly above average... I know this because my Mom told me.


If you had a choice between having either a great sense of humour or really nice hair, which would you choose and why?

I would take the great sense of humor, make a mint doing standup, having my own TV show, and doing movies and concert tours. Hair can not buy you a mansion.

For the married males among us:

A hot, 22 year old blonde (not your wife) with an amazing body hits on you. She makes it VERY clear that she will do anything you want to do sexually, she does not care that you are married, and she only wants sex. Do you take her up on it?

No way. It's obviously a set up and the cameras are standing by, ready to burst into the room. I'm not falling for that one. She's probably insane too.

Truth or Dare?

I give up. I can't keep up.

Truth.


Now what?

Everyone is too fast... I give up.

And oddly, it fits.

No, I thought that was a SHE not a WHERE

Where is she?

I can't tell you, because I'm not a blond, neither am I 22. And I am not hitting on you, either.
Sorry.

What is the best way to help a friend going through a rough patch of depression?

be a good listener.


Do you know how to change a tire?

Yes I do... Never had to change one but I could do it if I had to.


Have you ever fondled the genitalia of someone else of the same sex?

the same sex as who? Me? No thanks... the other sex - many many many times... even got thanked for it...

When is the last time you cleaned your bathroom

Sunday.

Do you feel the need to take your hat off indoors?

Yes. Though I rearely wear a hat, if I come inside I usually take it off.

What is the longest you have gone, in recent years, without bathing?

3 days. I was sick, and a shower never felt so good.

Name one thing, in your car, that if you had to give an unexpected ride to...say a co-worker, you'd be embarrased about.

empty garbage bag. (sometimes the windshield leaks if the car is at the wrong angle)


do you wear deoderant?

I could tell you, but then i'd have to kill you... Oh wait - no that'd be silly....

Yes i do wear deoderent - can't have me being stinky... I'm already crabby...

If I were interviewing you for a job to be my cabana boy/girl, and you were asked the question.. Why should i hire you? What would you answer... by the way - the job pays extremely well...

I have been trained in the ways of pleasure. I can make a woman orgasm with over 500 different methods. And when I'm not doing that I can mix a really good drink.

(how well does it pay?)


Which do you think is more important, physical strength or mental strength? Why?

enough... :)

mental strength is more important -
you can't always fit a square peg into a round hole and brute forcing it in, doesnt' necesarily make it fit. Mental stregth will analyze the situation and come up with a plan to make it fit and make everyone happy... Physical strength - i'm not sure anyone is gonna be happy.

though ain't nuttin' sexier than a strong pair of shoulders... :)


Do you play the lottery - ever win anything?

Yes. It just started here and so far I've won $3. Two of 'em last night...

Do you go to the theater to see movies or wait for them to come out on DVD?

edit: after I read it, it sounded like I was asking if you go to theaters for something other than movies. :crazy:

Both, I go to see movies at the cinema, and then if I liked them I'll get them on DVD.


Ever been in a porn theatre?

Yes. A friend used to rent the Metro Theatre on Bloor to screen great Asian films. The Metro is an old school porn cinema. The best was when Samuel L. Jackson came to a screening... my friend had to oppologize for the funky odour. Jackson said it was cool.


If you could eat any one meal right now.... what would it be?

Mmmm, I would eat a bowl of beef consomme followed up with an eclair.
(trying to keep it light)


Have you ever gone to someone's house and left something personal behind when you left?

Sure, poop!


When you walk a dog, do you feel embarassed to meet a pretty woman, with a bag of dog poop in your hand?


(Charlatan, I meant actually to see a porn flick...)

I don't get embarassed by carrying my dog's poop in a bag... unless I wasn't walking my dog.

(OK... it wasn't to see a porn film but it was still an actively used porn cinema... I think it still is).

Have you ever ridden a horse at a full gallop?

No. Unless by horse you mean wife, and by full gallop you mean like a bull rider :)



What type of Jam/jelly do you prefer when you have toast?

no, farm animals scare me.


Do you prefer to wash dishes or dry dishes?

I'd rather dry.

Ever own a non-traditional pet? (not: dog/cat; hamster cage-rodent or aquarium dwelling fish/lizard)

How did you get it? How long did it live? What was it's name?

I had a chincilla named shades...

beautifully soft critter (it had been suggested more than once that i breed it and make myself a coat) I adopted it when a friend's new wife couldn't stand it.... I had it for about 4 years... it died from a problem that affects chins (no, i didn't make that coat0 it's teeth never stop growing and the chin will stop 'grinding them down' on toys it has in it's cage - the teeth even tually grow into it's lower lip and it will starve to death... shades didn't starve to death.. but he did die...


ever play tetherball? What are the rules?

keep the ball moving.



What flavour of ice cream do you like?

Ben and Jerry's - Chocolate chocolate fudge, or chunky monkey (love that bannana flavor)

Have you ever fantasized about someone you thought you could approach, but didnt? and if so why didnt you.

Everyday for every girl in high school, I was afraid, paranoid, anxious, never stood a chance.

Do you believe in God? When did you know for sure?

No. A few years ago. Confirmed it not too long ago.

Toilet paper: over or under?

Over...under is just wrong. Over makes it easier to find the end.

Movies: Widescreen or formatted

Widescreen.


Sex, on top or bottom?

both please...

Paper or plastic

Top.....well....side, and inverted sometimes.

Black...or cream and sugar?

damn....she beat me

Boxes....lots of cardboard boxes...(I eat alot)


Black...or cream and sugar?

Paper, and 2 creams.



conventional or radical?

Both, depending on the issue.

Conservative or liberal?

Both. Depends on the issue. :D

Left hand or right hand? :suave:

right hand :D

Would you help an internet buddie move a dead body? (please?)

Yes, but he'd have to help me move mine.

Did you ever get to play "Spin The Bottle"? How'd it go?

Haven't played since high school - fun times


When was the last time you sent a personal letter or card -- other than christmas card - thru the mail... When's the last time you received something.. (PS I looove sending cards, can i send you one?)

Wrote a letter to Mom last week, she's feeling poorly after her knee surgery.
I recieved a letter before christmas from an ex-girlfriend in Sweden, with some old negatives.
You can send me anything you like Mal.


ever done it in the back of a car?

Does the front count? Or are you being literal...



Where is the most interesting place you have received stitches?

The roof of my mouth.

Pop Tarts. Toasted...or straight out of the wrapper?

ugh...toasted.



Every use a dictionary?

I'm waiting for the movie to come out... :)

yup, i have one on my desk, my vocabulary just sucks, so I need all the help I can get - I have a thesaurus too..


How do you feel about frogs?

I've never met a frog I didn't like.

Whats your favorite time of the day?

They're alright. A little snooty, and awfully quick to capitulate...but other than that, and trying to understand them through their accents...they're cool. I like their fries. :D

How many "single" socks do you now have, waiting to find their mate?

Early Evening, just after dinner.
I've got one single sock, pinning for his mate in Ontario.

You are out driving and you see some kid walking their dog. Just as you approach, the dog breaks free and runs in front of the car. You've got a choice between hitting the dog and swerving into a telephone pole. On one hand, you'll traumatize the kid who sees his dog killed in front of him; on the other hand, you'll traumatize yourself. What do you do?

Given the fact I drive a largely plastic car with airbags, I'd choose the pole, then I'd get out and give the kid hell for not keeping a tighter hold on his dog's leash. Then I'd take the dog.

It's all moot, since there are hardly any telephone poles anywhere these days.


When was the last time you were totally in the wrong?

I'm insured, I'll hit the telephone pole... then sue the kid's parents for having an irresponsible child and make millions...

Last time i was totally wrong? Just recently - and I'm still trying to recover from it...

What's one of your regrets in life?

Not having been been more self confident in my teen years.


What's your favourite racist term for white people?

Cracker... The hard consonants make it sound funny.

If you had a third arm, what would you use it for?

Holding a beer in my hand, ALL THE TIME.

How tall are you? Are you happy with your height?

5'9" - nope - there are days i'd like to be really short but most days I'd like to be 5'11" -my height is just so average and ordinary - I want to be tall...

What vitamins do you take?

I don't take any vitamins... well I do when my wife makes me take them. I get my vitamins from the food I eat.


Do you believe you have a soul and if so what is it for?

I believe the idea of a soul comes from the development of our memories and the activity of dreaming. There is no part of us seperate from our body and when I hear "we can't be just bodies, there must be something else" it sounds like an insult.

What's your favorite holiday, if it's Christmas, what's your second favorite?

Groundhog Day... because it's unexpected - in years past, I've actually sent cards to commerate the day - ( I just didn't have time to order them this year)

Speaking of holidays, what do you do to celebrate St Patrick's Day?

I don't do too much. I used to go out to the pub for drinks with friends. Now I am lucky if I even remember to wear green on the day...


What did you do on your last Birthday Day?

On my last birthday, jj and I were going to have fondue at the Melting Pot. The wait was over an hour so we went down the street to a little pub to have some drinks before. We ended up staying there and ordering reubens instead. I got incredibly drunk and talked to some woman at the bar that invited us to her house warming party. We never saw her again... It was a fun night of drinking, music, and pool though. :)

What is your favorite planet and why?

Earth... nah too obvious, Venus, the sister planet, constant violent storms and hazardous conditions, an unpenetrable atmosphere, just like a woman.

Your a professional sports player, what game do you play?

Jai Alai



What would be more useful: wings or a monkey's tail?

Wings definitely, unless you're a penguin, domestic turkey, or chicken. or the band.

What path made all the difference?

There are so many, but a biggie was going to college right after high-school (as much as I could, I graduated HS when I was 15) and putting everything else on hold until I finished college.

I see so many people struggling to juggle working and family and a life and college, and I'm soooo grateful I didn't have to do that. I also didn't have money, people to support me, fun, or anything else like that during that time, but it's long past and it wasn't that bad anyways.

What's your comfort food (not beer or chocolate!)?

spaghetti


If you had to lose one sense would it be sight, smell, taste, touch, or hearing?