hrm, young.. Arron Karo an older one.. Robin Williams.. someone middle of the road.. Brian Regan or Dane Cook.

who knows your troubles?

the cats


who knows your secrets?

Nobody does. All of my real secret secrets are known only to me.

What sport do you like to play? And it the answer is no sports, why don't you play a sport?

is arguing a sport? then that would be my sport of choice :) otherwise none because i am completely a klutz wiht no grace or agility whatsoever...


what are you doing this afternoon?

I'm moving furniture around after my ex-wife moved out. Just trying out new positions for the couch and some bookshelves. The cats are freaked, they don't like change, they keep climbing over everything and mewing.


got any plans for the weekend?

We did have plans for this weekend. Two sets of them and they both got foiled so I'm staying in now. First we were supposed to go to LA to visit Sultana. However, jj bought a ticket for his daughter to see us this weekend. So no LA. :( Then the flight that was to bring the daughter here got cancelled. So, I'm sitting around thinking about starting a painting and watching jj play Mortal Kombat and that will probably be my 3-day weekend.

What magical power would you like to have and why?

now that's a toughie. I was going to say "the ability to fly" cause that would be neat and a cool way to get around, but then "the ability to breathe water" could be pretty handy too. And lets not discount "instant teleportation" either. I think the magical ability I would like to have would be the ability to do magic!


Which Harry Potter character are you and why?

Arthur Weasley, because he's an accomplished wizard who gets great joy from his hobby - all things muggle. I'd prefer to be Snape, but I'm not that duplicitous.

Which brings up the question, are you good or evil?

I'm good.


do you see the glass half full or half empty?

i try to see it as half full -- but the again -- someone or something will come along and jar me back to reality and remind me that it is indeed half empty...

how's the weather by you today?

Fricken cold! Sunny though...

Do you like to sing?

I do, but only for my supper.....


Would you rather see the movie, or read the book?

book all the way baby........


morning person or an evening person?

i'm grouchy all day long... neither... but if i had to choose - morning... after copious amounts of coffee...

Do you believe in Santa Claus? Why or why not...

yes. Because my mother still does.

Do you celebrate secular or religious versions of holidays?

Well, since I'm not religious, I celebrate them in a secular fashion, if I celebrate them at all.

Would you ever consider plastic surgery?

nope...as much as i hate what i look like... I dislike pain and spending money on myself even more... besides - i'd still be the same person...

What's your best feature...

My friends all say my hair, but I love my eyes.

What's your best personality characteristic?

My whimsical sense of humour


do you like to spend money on yourself or on others?

I like to spend money on others...friends, family, strangers....I just like doing for others. Yes, I have been taken advantage of...


What are you looking forward to in the immediate future?

German Shepard. but currently a have a balck sausage dog called piper.


what makes you sad?

When I run out of orange juice when I'm still thirsty.


When and what's the best you've felt about yourself?

When I got married. Nothing comes close.

When was the last time you changed jobs?

When I quit my part time job to join the Marines.


Have you ever worked at McDonalds?

Never worked at McDonalds.

What's your favorite memory from last week?

Taking my wife to dinner, on her birthday. Which also, just happens to be Valentine's Day.

What, if anything, do you collect?

Dolls... mainly Madame Alexander dolls.. .I'm about as ungirly as a person can get... but the dolls give me a smile... i also collect cookbooks... dustbunnes... and a few more dragons than i should...


How can I get out of going to a customer site on Long Island next week?

Tell your employer you have a phobia related to the customer's name. Because of your illness, ADA requires they make reasonable accomodations. So, they must send someone else...

Did you see the sunrise?

Mal:

Run away to Saskatchewan.

All you have to do is say the word and people kind of quiet down. They will think you are in the CIA or something, and off to a foreign land near Uzbeckistan.

Sir Lance: Yes, I did see the sun rise. It was amazing today. You must understand that being located at the 52nd latitude means that our sunrises at 0812 local. If you are sleeping in past that, you should feel some shame.

What is your favorite TFP thread?

I'm going to be vain and boost the first thread I started, because it never got much of a response, but I really like it:

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...ght=henry+earl

Have you ever walked through the scary part of town at night?

I live in the scary part of town. Since I've lived here, there's been a shooting and a stabbing. The part of twon that does scare me is this one stretch of road in the nice part of town. It's full of trees that block out the sky, no street lights, and 50mph traffic with no sidewalk. So I walked home.

If you could organize a flash mob, what would you have them do?

my flash mob would stand in the middle of the street, and do the hokey pokey... why? because it's my mob, and they'll hokey if i want 'em to...

Do you keep receipts for purchases? why or why not...

I keep reciepts for anything tax deductible, mark the appropriate information on the back and keep a running tally by category in my tax file. Taxes are a breeze...

Have you ever had, or participated in, an extramarital affair? What were the consequences?

This is not the answer anybody would be interested to hear, but no. There was a woman I met just AFTER the nick of time (when she was about to be married), totally my kind of girl - slightly hippy musicologist type of geek girl. I worked for her for about three months and then we went to a lot of the same conferences through the years. I would always catch her staring at me, when I of course was staring at her.

A friend of mine met her once when I wasn't there. Apparently they talked. When he saw me next, he said without any mention of her from me, "you two should stay away from each other. You'd get into trouble."

This has been going on for 15 years. We haven't even lived near each other for the past 10. The last time I saw her, she was pregnant and *still* catching glances at me. When I of course was catching glances at her. Just a month before I left to move up here, we hired one of her former co-workers. She told me *X* kept asking about me. We're no we're no longer in the same industry and I have no reason to visit her town anymore. So I guess that non-fling is over. I was never tempted. In fact, I liked hanging out with her because I got the benefits of her coolness with the safety of knowing that realistically, uh-uh. Even if I was stupid enough to be fool around, I knew that she was smart enough not to.

But no.

Why, have you?

A long time ago, I seduced a married woman. I have regretted it ever since.

What are your regrets?

I regret ignoring that freshman girl when I was a senior in high school. I regret letting myself down during my freshman year of college. I regret going to this college. Not much other than that, despite all the trouble I got into when I was younger.


Have you ever played spin the bottle? If so, tell us about it.

The cool kids during middle school didn't let me play while a game was going on in the backroom of our class. So I ratted them out.

As a kid, did you have an allowance or did you have to do chores for you money?

Both. I got a small allowance and could earn a little extra by doing extra chores that I normally wasn't assigned.

Do you like Easter peeps?

mmm Peeps-- especially toasted or broiled on graham crackers -- once you get past the screaming - they are oh so melty tasty goodness.... but in original yellow- pink and purple are just wrong...

What's your favorite treat in your easter basket

those cadbury cream eggs


do you have a chocolate fetish?

I love chocolate in pretty much every single form, and eating it off of someone or having it eaten off yourself is about twice as good, so if that counts as a fetish, then I most certainly do! :D

What is your favorite curse word?

I have to say fuck is my favorite. I like using fuck in new and creative ways also, like fuckery, fuckface, fucktastic, fuckdick, fucktruck, fuckstick, etc.


Do you get offended when people curse at you?

only when they say "fuckery, fuckface, fucktastic, fuckdick, fucktruck or fuckstick"



what do you do when you get the hiccups?

laugh... because the hiccups make me giggle.. i've never found a method that makes them go away - but laughing makes me forget i have them...

What's your favorite snack food...

Oh man thats tuff :(. I guess I'd have to say.....damn....I have no idea..OOOH!! Strawberry Newtons! There we go.

Umm okay have you ever let out a silent fart and let someone else take the blame for it? You know what I'm talkin about..c'mon now.

Asta!!

Sure.

Now have you ever let out a silent fart, and actively blamed someone else for it? Not just looking around innocently, but pointing a finger at someone?

Yep. I was in kindergarten. It was devious, and completely successful. Nowadays I don't ever fart in public so it doesn't come up. :)

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I wouldn't mind looking like Tom Cruise


ever considered surgically altering some part of your body?

tom cruise is short - plus you're way better looking that he is...(shudda went with his wallet instead...

Nope - pain is bad.. though having smaller feet would be nice...

Look around you - -describe something that is the color green...

My walls. *barf*

What was your favorite game growing up?

Board Game: Life
Video Game: Commando (on Commodore 64)
Activity Game: Duck, Duck Goose.

Have you ever invented a new word that you use regularily? (Besides swears)

I use the word "prolly" all the time. It started in IMs and chat programs, but migrated to real life. The infection has spread to several friends. :)

What do you seek in a romantic partner?

A pulse!

What is the meanest put down you've ever used on somebody?

Oh man thats a tuff one. I've used soooooo many I'm such a smart ass. Usually to girls too...when they treat my like shit. I guess I'll go with my brother in law I think he was arguing with my sister and he said something like "Shut the freakin door you're letting all the mesquitoes in!" and I said something along the lines of "Why don't you shut yer freakin mouth cause you're letting all the shit in" or something stupid like that. Eh I'm drawing a blank.

One song as your entrance theme into a room what would it be?

Asta!!

Seether - Out of my Way


What's the meanest thing anyone has ever said to you?

"You will make a lousy father."

When was the last time you were genuinely frightened?

Rabid dogs were involved.

What do you usually day dream about?

I had a very vivid and realistic nightmare a couple months ago that scared the shit out of me. I woke up in a panic, sweating and full of adrenaline. It wasn't a pleasant experience. I wasn't scared for long, but I *was* genuinely frightened for a minute or so.

D'oh, too slow...I daydream about all sorts of things, but usually only at work. Anything to keep my mind occupied. Today I was thinking about what I'd do if I had won that big lottery a couple of days ago :thumbsup:

What is the longest stretch of time that you have been awake?

Short of finals week in college, where i don't think i slept at all... probably the last time i flew to australia... I was up an entire day before -- 19 hour flight -- got off the plane, went to the hotel, showered, sat thru a full day of meetings and other stuff.. got back to my hotel... and couldn't sleep i was so overtired....

What's your favorite joke...

Once a upon a time, there was this young lady named Mal...oh wait, you don't want to hear this one ;)

What was the best getaway time you've spent with your friends?

I used to go to the beach for a week every summer with college friends. Lotsa beer, ogling women, cheap sensations with loose girls...

What magazine do you really look forward to getting in your mailbox?

Toronto Life: It's sort of like Vanity Fair, but for Toronto. Lately it's been focussing too heavily on shopping and "lifestyle" articles, so it's lost some of its lustre for me. It's the only magazine I subscribe to. I'd also like to get Harper's and Light and Sound America (a trade mag)

What's the first meal you'd request after a long exile on a desert isle eating only fish and vegetation?

Open faced grilled cheese, tomato, and bacon sammich on rye bread with dijon mustard, a side order of parmesean fries and a huge glass of iced tea (unsweetened)

What is being in love like?

It is the feeling of being completely accepted as I am. It is completely accepting - and being happy/content about it - of the other person. It is beyond infatuation - more full, less rushed - but still finding yourself smiling just talking to that person. It is awareness that the other person isn't perfect, but doesn't need to be.

It is giving and taking in equal measure, and being who I am, and still more than enough.

Do you like yourself most mornings?

Not unconditionally, no. You know how there are really good people who seem to only focus on their shortcomings? I'm like that except for the "good" part.

I find trying to adopt a Taoist attitude helps occasionally.

What was third grade like for you?

Third grade is when I first considered suicide.

What the wisest thing you have ever said?

Fuck politicians.


Do you have a best friend? How long have you known them?

yes, my wife, and i've known "them" for over 40 years...


do you own a world atlas?

No, but I own a road atlas that I got for Christmas. It is in my backseat.

How do you take your eggs?

Sunny side up.

We all have some regrets in our lives. What is your one single major regret? How would your life be different, had you turned left instead of right?

Hating school since 1st grade. I could have been, like, a brain surgeon, or a rocket scientist. And that would have indirectly caused my mother and me to move to Mexico at about the same time.

Do you like to cook? If so, what's your favorite recipie?

I like to cook. I worked as a assistant chef at an Italian restaurant in college. I think my favorite is whole chicken, coated in basil and sesame seeds, withcitrus fruit on the inside.

Are you following the olympics at all?

Are you kidding? Hell, yes! The tv is on 24-7, my homepage is changed to the CBC's Olympic site, and my MSN Messenger handle is changing everyday to reflect the AWESOME and OUTSTANDING and MOST EXCELLENT way that our women's team is KICKING ASS all over Turin. which is kind of funny, cause I'm not a sports guy at all, but when the Olympics are on, I turn into a fanatic

don't you just love Peanut Butter?

mmm peanutbutter... creamy or chunky - depending on my mood - makes banananananas palatable, makes celery taste good, the natural stuff with the inch of oil on the top, or the uber processed ultra creamy Skippy with all the bad stuff in it -- doesn't matter -it's all good... Looove peanut butter....

How easily do you trust people?

I trust most people pretty quickly, and more than once it has come back to bite me in the butt. I guess I think that most people will do the right thing, and boy howdy, retail work will sure ruin that ideal quickly. I guess I haven't learned my lesson yet though, because I am still pretty trusting of people.

What is your guilty pleasure food?

French fries, why can't I quit you? French fries with ketchup.


Have you ever known anybody who put ketchup on eggs?

Yes, yes I have. Me. Once. I secretly liked it. But I know other people who do it also. One of my friends puts hot sauce of his eggs...


What is the largest animal you have ever killed?

Well, I don't hunt. But I have killed animals with my car..luckily no deer. :)
The largest animal I have killed was a snake about 5-6 feet long..I think I didn't stop the car to find out but it took up the whole lane. It made the worst popping sound imaginable. *shudder*

What is your favorite way to spend a day off work?

Drunk on a beach. Everyone should try it.

What would you do if you found yourself in bed with me the next morning?

I would fondle you passionately. Actually, I would probably freak out and do a gravity defying leap to the other side of my room because there was another man in my bed.


What would you do if you woke up to BigBen standing over you with a creepy Jack Nicholson (ala The Shining) smile on his face?

get in touch with the little man who lives in my mouth and hope he's got a plan.


what would you do if you passed out while drunk on a beach on your day off, and when you came to, BigBen was spooned up behind you?

Assume it was all a dream brought on by too much sun, and fall back asleep.

What would you do if you found a little man in your mouth, and it was BigBen?

I'd be shocked and alarmed. He says he's bigger than me. Or he used to. Now he's just quackers, even though he has a picture of geese. Maybe that means he's honkies.

What would you do if you had a little man in your mouth, who's a honky and wants to go to England and see Big Ben?

I'd buy him a ticket, cause everyone needs to realize a dream.


what would you do if your little man from your mouth got to England and on the way to see BigBen was hit by a double-decker bus cause he looked the wrong way first?

Funeral at sea, Viking style!

Poker: 5 card stud or 7 card hold'um?

5 card stud, although I'd rather play Texas Hold'Em.

If you could trade places with a TFP'er for a day, who would you pick and why?

Jumpin Jesus! What's not to like: he looks like a movie star, lives with Shesus (!!!!), and every so often Onodrim comes over and makes out his SO. sounds like a dream to me...


Do you like toast?

Yes. This morning I had two thick slabs of homemade rye toast and four fresh strawberries.



What’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever eaten?

seaweed. or that time there was a worm in my apple (no i'm not making that up). Ew.

Would you ever go on Fear Factor, and if so, would you win?
(PS, if you would... wtf???) Ahem.

No, I have no use for reality tv (with the exception of TAR), my life is real enough.


Speaking of reality tv, could you survive Survivor?

Edit: Too Slow.

The most disgusting thing I've ever eaten was deep fried Eel in Italy. It was really boney, oily and tasteless. There was also some runny, stinky cheese I had once, but I never knew the name of it.

Re: Fear Factor:No I wouldn't go on. Yet, If I was in better shape, I bet I'd do well on the physical challenges because I'm not afraid of heights and the like. I'd be a disaster at the gross-out tasks though. Also, I'm not an aspiring actor from LA.

Re: Survivor: I'm really out of shape, so no, but I wouldn't get kicked off first. Also, I'm not an aspiring actor from LA.

What's the largest sum of money you've ever found in the street and taken for yourself?

A five dollar bill.



What did you have for breakfast this morning?

This morning I had two thick slabs of homemade rye toast and four fresh strawberries.


Who do you think will be president of the U.S. after the current one?

Pasta and meat sauce.

Have you ever gotten into a car accident?

Just once - somebody rear-ended me.

What's your favorite book?

BattleTech Warrior: Reposte

The book is based on events prior to the start of the fourth successor war. Of course, for those of you who knows of the universe, would know what I'm talking about.

But if its something you guys know...it'll have to be Moby Dick :D

What'd you do on sunday night?

Loathe my job and watch the Sopranos.

What time is your alarm clock set for?

I don't set my alarm :p

Which takes you longer to get ready for: Getting ready for work, or getting ready to go out with your SO (or your date)?

Getting ready for work since I don't have an SO to get ready for :D:D

What do you do for free time on weekends?

In my free time, I love to socialize. Usually there is something going on (i.e. live show, small get together, movie, whatever). That and I like to catch up on my reading.

What is the most incredible experience you've ever had?