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Old 06-24-2007, 02:26 PM   #1 (permalink)
Dumb all over...a little ugly on the side
 
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Location: In the room where the giant fire puffer works, and the torture never stops.
the great insult thread

post a great insult you heard/said.

OR

make up a great insult and post it.


mine:

heard in 9th or 10 grade in the computer room at school...said one chick to another: "You fat cuntpicker!"

just made this up: you (or this/that/he/she/whatever) suck(s) 9 kinds of ass.
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Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz

I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...

Last edited by Sion; 06-24-2007 at 02:29 PM..
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Old 06-24-2007, 02:50 PM   #2 (permalink)
Coy, sultry and... naughty!
 
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Location: Across the way
This thread is so shitty that it stinks worse than a soiled baby nappy left in the summer sunshine just outside your window in front of the fan you attempt to use for ventilation.

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Old 06-24-2007, 05:08 PM   #3 (permalink)
I'll ask when I'm ready....
 
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Location: Firmly in the middle....
Man, your brain must rattle around like a BB in a boxcar.....

Or, a variation of my signature,
You're just like a Slinky. Not good for much, but still fun to throw down a flight of stairs.
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DAMMIT! -Jack Bauer-
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Old 06-24-2007, 10:44 PM   #4 (permalink)
Upright
 
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Location: south florida
Some of my favorite articulate insults...

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
Winston Churchill

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others"
Samuel Jackson

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
Groucho Marx

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
Stephen Bishop

"He had delusions of adequacy."
Walter Kerr

From myself: Had a new kid working with me for about a week telling me all about the idiotic things he does while drunk and how he doesn't like to think and just do. So I told him he was the "Rebel without a thought". He had no idea what I talking about but the boss found it amusing.
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Old 06-25-2007, 05:16 AM   #5 (permalink)
The Griffin
 
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you're an example of why some animals eat their young

you're a poster child for planned parenthood

you're the reason they invented condoms

your mom shouldn't have swallowed

beauty may be only skin-deep, but in your case, ugliness goes right to the bone

dog shit is easier to pick up than you are
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Old 06-25-2007, 05:40 AM   #6 (permalink)
Mistress of Mayhem
 
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Location: Canton, Ohio
Id rather tie a pork chop around my neck and go play with a starving rabid pit bull.

Id rather sew my twat shut, gouge out my eye balls and slit my throat.

Id rather have sex with a telephone pole wrapped in barbed wire.

Of all the days for your mom NOT to have a headache.

The best part of you ran down your moms leg.

My personal favorite....

Youre nothing more than a simpletonistic fuckwit stagnant cum puddle whose mother should have had a migraine or otherwise found some way of preventing your scum bubble cum puss existance from being inflicted upon the human gene pool.

Imagine how angry I had to be for that to come tumbling out of my mouth like a freight train going down a mountain without brakes.
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.
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Old 06-25-2007, 11:46 AM   #7 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: Chicago
Just think. Out of millions of sperm, that was the quickest.

Edit: I saw the Churchill quote up above and had to add this one

Lady Astor "Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!"
Winston Churchill: "Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober."

Last edited by Pesto; 06-25-2007 at 11:49 AM..
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Old 06-25-2007, 12:07 PM   #8 (permalink)
That's what she said
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Push-Pull
Man, your brain must rattle around like a BB in a boxcar.....

Or, a variation of my signature,
You're just like a Slinky. Not good for much, but still fun to throw down a flight of stairs.
Haha!

Actually... all of these are great. It's sad that I probably won't remember them at the appropriate time.
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Old 06-26-2007, 11:14 AM   #9 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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"so's yer ol' man!!!"
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- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
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Old 06-30-2007, 06:28 AM   #10 (permalink)
Tilted
 
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Location: Ohio
These ones come to mind..... I've actually heard the first two given out..

"You should've been nothing more than a regurgitated cum bubble"

" Basically, you're just the mutilated afterbirth of a lesbian gutter slut"

"I'd like to see things from your point of view but i can't seem to get my head that far up my ass"


And i found these ones..... and also found them pretty hilarious...

"Are your parents siblings??"

"I don't know what makes you so dumb...but it really works."
__________________
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-Charles M. Schulz

Last edited by tinydancer; 06-30-2007 at 04:15 PM..
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Old 06-30-2007, 08:29 PM   #11 (permalink)
But You'll Never Prove It.
 
ItWasMe's Avatar
 
Location: under your bed
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pesto
Just think. Out of millions of sperm, that was the quickest.
.....................................

ItWasMe's two daughters fighting recently:

"You stupid son of a moron stick"

"You two headed moldy rabbit sucker"

"Bitch"

.....................................

On my daughter's shrit:

"I'm not mean. You're just a sissy."
__________________
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .


"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

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Old 07-02-2007, 09:08 AM   #12 (permalink)
Dumb all over...a little ugly on the side
 
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Location: In the room where the giant fire puffer works, and the torture never stops.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ItWasMe
.....................................

ItWasMe's two daughters fighting recently:

"You stupid son of a moron stick"

so, she called you a moron stick?
__________________
He's the best, of course, of all the worst.
Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz

I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...
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Old 08-08-2007, 09:14 PM   #13 (permalink)
But You'll Never Prove It.
 
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Location: under your bed
I'm going to have to ask her that.
__________________
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .


"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe


Last edited by ItWasMe; 08-08-2007 at 09:16 PM.. Reason: spellllling
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Old 08-09-2007, 02:35 AM   #14 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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Super Moderator
Location: upstate
"over a million sperm cells, and you're the one that survived..."

(sorry, pesto...i must have skipped right over yours...)
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Last edited by uncle phil; 08-15-2007 at 12:23 PM..
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Old 08-09-2007, 06:43 PM   #15 (permalink)
But You'll Never Prove It.
 
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Location: under your bed
"Teeeenagers!"...as said by my 7 year old, meant to be an insult.
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. . . . . . . . . . . . . .


"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

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Old 08-09-2007, 08:07 PM   #16 (permalink)
Banned
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sion
you suck 9 kinds of ass.
I love it!
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Old 08-09-2007, 08:09 PM   #17 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: France
This one works in the Denver area: "Thanks, but I ride the RTD bus, not the STD bus".
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Check it out: The Open Source/Freeware/Gratis Software Thread
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Old 08-10-2007, 04:14 AM   #18 (permalink)
Upright
 
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Location: Glasgow
How's your wife and my kids?

Subtle.
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Old 08-15-2007, 08:12 PM   #19 (permalink)
Minion of the scaléd ones
 
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Location: Northeast Jesusland
"When your IQ hits 50, sell. You will profit."

Overheard in my fraternity house after way too much beer, "That dumb cunt is a cum chugging fuck pig." Gotta love the assonance.

Groucho Marx, "Begone, and never darken my towels again!"
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Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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Old 08-16-2007, 10:00 PM   #20 (permalink)
rat
smiling doesn't hurt anymore :)
 
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Location: College Station, TX
"your existence is the equivalent of a celestial wetfart"

"you're the posterchild for abortions"

"every time you open your mouth, I wonder why your dad couldn't have had the decency to cum on your mother's face"
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Quote:
Originally posted by clavus
To say that I was naked, when I broke in would be a lie. I put on safety glasses.
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Old 08-17-2007, 03:15 AM   #21 (permalink)
part of the problem
 
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Location: hic et ubique
if you were a pokemon, you'd be suckachu

if you were a transformer, you'd be a retardocon
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onward to mayhem!
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Old 08-17-2007, 08:35 AM   #22 (permalink)
Dumb all over...a little ugly on the side
 
Sion's Avatar
 
Location: In the room where the giant fire puffer works, and the torture never stops.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tophat665

Overheard in my fraternity house after way too much beer, "That dumb cunt is a cum chugging fuck pig." Gotta love the assonance.

http://jadedvideo.com/yz_result.asp?PRODUCT_ID=201036

http://jadedvideo.com/yz_result.asp?PRODUCT_ID=241483
__________________
He's the best, of course, of all the worst.
Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz

I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...
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Old 08-22-2007, 01:34 PM   #23 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
you don't look as pregnant as you did two weeks ago...
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
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Old 08-23-2007, 03:43 PM   #24 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
Y'all are just humans.
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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT
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Old 08-25-2007, 04:29 PM   #25 (permalink)
Dumb all over...a little ugly on the side
 
Sion's Avatar
 
Location: In the room where the giant fire puffer works, and the torture never stops.
"You smell like an anchovie's cunt."

george carlin
__________________
He's the best, of course, of all the worst.
Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz

I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...
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Old 08-26-2007, 11:22 AM   #26 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
I heard you were so tight you squeak.

I'm not even sure this is an insult, but it got a powerfully negative reaction out of the person I said it to the other day...
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Old 08-26-2007, 01:00 PM   #27 (permalink)
Dumb all over...a little ugly on the side
 
Sion's Avatar
 
Location: In the room where the giant fire puffer works, and the torture never stops.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ourcrazymodern?
I heard you were so tight you squeak.

I'm not even sure this is an insult, but it got a powerfully negative reaction out of the person I said it to the other day...

he/she is a tight ass?
__________________
He's the best, of course, of all the worst.
Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz

I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...
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Old 08-27-2007, 02:42 AM   #28 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Infinite_Loser's Avatar
 
Location: Lake Mary, FL
The greatest insult a man can give a woman: Call her fat.

The greatest insult a woman can give a man: Tell him he has a small penis.
__________________
I believe in equality; Everyone is equally inferior to me.
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Old 08-30-2007, 12:52 PM   #29 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
there's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure...
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
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Old 08-30-2007, 04:14 PM   #30 (permalink)
Banned
 
Location: Chicago's western burbs
mmm one i thought was at least mildly insulting, but the person who was asking me to be on his inet radio show told me "Thats EXACTALLY why I want you on the show!"

'I'd rather be locked in a room with my Ex husband, 5000 angry killer bees and a blowing air raid siren while doing my taxes longform and having my teeth cleaned with a running chainsaw"
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Old 08-30-2007, 04:22 PM   #31 (permalink)
Mistress of Mayhem
 
Lady Sage's Avatar
 
Location: Canton, Ohio
Be that as it may, you STILL have to take a shower today.

Now, where did I put the garden hose?
__________________
If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
Minds are like parachutes, they function best when open
.
It`s Easier to Change a Condom Than a Diaper
Yes, the rumors are true... I actually AM a Witch.
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Old 08-30-2007, 06:24 PM   #32 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
The god that created you must have been insane.
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Old 08-30-2007, 08:20 PM   #33 (permalink)
loving the curves
 
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Location: my Lady's manor
You're ugly, and your mother dresses you funny.
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Old 08-31-2007, 10:53 AM   #34 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
So...what do you know?
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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT
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Old 09-01-2007, 12:31 PM   #35 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
i just learned of your illness...i hope it's nothing trivial...
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 09-04-2007, 01:28 PM   #36 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
I might have felt something just then. No, before that!

Aw, hell, crawl off!

I'll be back...
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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT
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Old 09-04-2007, 03:53 PM   #37 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
thank you for sending me a copy of your book; i'll waste no time reading it...
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 09-04-2007, 04:40 PM   #38 (permalink)
More Than You Expect
 
Manic_Skafe's Avatar
 
Location: Queens
I probably heard it somewhere before but I used this one to end a high school argument with a very self-conscious girl:

"You think I'm an asshole? Look at what God did to your face"
__________________
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Old 09-06-2007, 12:12 AM   #39 (permalink)
Casual... Real Casual
 
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Location: Orstraylia
Donated his brain to science before he was done using it


You set low personal standards and then consistently fail to achieve them.
__________________
"And you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking.
Racing around to come up behind you again. The sun is the same in a relative way but your older, shorter of breath, and one day closer to death" ...pink floyd
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Old 09-06-2007, 03:03 AM   #40 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
you have van gogh's ear for music...
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
 

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