the great insult thread
 

post a great insult you heard/said.

OR

make up a great insult and post it.


mine:

heard in 9th or 10 grade in the computer room at school...said one chick to another: "You fat cuntpicker!"

just made this up: you (or this/that/he/she/whatever) suck(s) 9 kinds of ass.

This thread is so shitty that it stinks worse than a soiled baby nappy left in the summer sunshine just outside your window in front of the fan you attempt to use for ventilation.

:D

Man, your brain must rattle around like a BB in a boxcar.....

Or, a variation of my signature,
You're just like a Slinky. Not good for much, but still fun to throw down a flight of stairs.

Some of my favorite articulate insults...

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
Winston Churchill

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others"
Samuel Jackson

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
Groucho Marx

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
Stephen Bishop

"He had delusions of adequacy."
Walter Kerr

From myself: Had a new kid working with me for about a week telling me all about the idiotic things he does while drunk and how he doesn't like to think and just do. So I told him he was the "Rebel without a thought". He had no idea what I talking about but the boss found it amusing.

you're an example of why some animals eat their young

you're a poster child for planned parenthood

you're the reason they invented condoms

your mom shouldn't have swallowed

beauty may be only skin-deep, but in your case, ugliness goes right to the bone

dog shit is easier to pick up than you are

Id rather tie a pork chop around my neck and go play with a starving rabid pit bull.

Id rather sew my twat shut, gouge out my eye balls and slit my throat.

Id rather have sex with a telephone pole wrapped in barbed wire.

Of all the days for your mom NOT to have a headache.

The best part of you ran down your moms leg.

My personal favorite....

Youre nothing more than a simpletonistic fuckwit stagnant cum puddle whose mother should have had a migraine or otherwise found some way of preventing your scum bubble cum puss existance from being inflicted upon the human gene pool.

Imagine how angry I had to be for that to come tumbling out of my mouth like a freight train going down a mountain without brakes.

Just think. Out of millions of sperm, that was the quickest.

Edit: I saw the Churchill quote up above and had to add this one

Lady Astor "Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!"
Winston Churchill: "Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober."

Haha! :thumbsup:

Actually... all of these are great. It's sad that I probably won't remember them at the appropriate time.

"so's yer ol' man!!!"

These ones come to mind..... I've actually heard the first two given out..

"You should've been nothing more than a regurgitated cum bubble"

" Basically, you're just the mutilated afterbirth of a lesbian gutter slut"

"I'd like to see things from your point of view but i can't seem to get my head that far up my ass"


And i found these ones..... and also found them pretty hilarious...

"Are your parents siblings??"

"I don't know what makes you so dumb...but it really works."

.....................................

ItWasMe's two daughters fighting recently:

"You stupid son of a moron stick"

"You two headed moldy rabbit sucker"

"Bitch"

.....................................

On my daughter's shrit:

"I'm not mean. You're just a sissy."

so, she called you a moron stick?

I'm going to have to ask her that. :D

"over a million sperm cells, and you're the one that survived..."

(sorry, pesto...i must have skipped right over yours...)

"Teeeenagers!"...as said by my 7 year old, meant to be an insult.

I love it!

This one works in the Denver area: "Thanks, but I ride the RTD bus, not the STD bus".

How's your wife and my kids?

Subtle.

"When your IQ hits 50, sell. You will profit."

Overheard in my fraternity house after way too much beer, "That dumb cunt is a cum chugging fuck pig." Gotta love the assonance.

Groucho Marx, "Begone, and never darken my towels again!"

"your existence is the equivalent of a celestial wetfart"

"you're the posterchild for abortions"

"every time you open your mouth, I wonder why your dad couldn't have had the decency to cum on your mother's face"

if you were a pokemon, you'd be suckachu

if you were a transformer, you'd be a retardocon

http://jadedvideo.com/yz_result.asp?PRODUCT_ID=201036

http://jadedvideo.com/yz_result.asp?PRODUCT_ID=241483

you don't look as pregnant as you did two weeks ago...

Y'all are just humans.

"You smell like an anchovie's cunt."

george carlin

I heard you were so tight you squeak.

I'm not even sure this is an insult, but it got a powerfully negative reaction out of the person I said it to the other day...

he/she is a tight ass?

The greatest insult a man can give a woman: Call her fat.

The greatest insult a woman can give a man: Tell him he has a small penis.

there's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure...

mmm one i thought was at least mildly insulting, but the person who was asking me to be on his inet radio show told me "Thats EXACTALLY why I want you on the show!"

'I'd rather be locked in a room with my Ex husband, 5000 angry killer bees and a blowing air raid siren while doing my taxes longform and having my teeth cleaned with a running chainsaw"

Be that as it may, you STILL have to take a shower today.

Now, where did I put the garden hose?

The god that created you must have been insane.

You're ugly, and your mother dresses you funny.

So...what do you know?

i just learned of your illness...i hope it's nothing trivial...

I might have felt something just then. No, before that!

Aw, hell, crawl off!

I'll be back...

thank you for sending me a copy of your book; i'll waste no time reading it...

I probably heard it somewhere before but I used this one to end a high school argument with a very self-conscious girl:

"You think I'm an asshole? Look at what God did to your face"

Donated his brain to science before he was done using it


You set low personal standards and then consistently fail to achieve them.

you have van gogh's ear for music...