aa1037

I'm a junior in college and I've been seeing this girl unofficially for about 5 months now. We've just recently decided to make it "official" - whatever that means. We both didn't care, as it didn't really change anything between us, just kinda gave it a title.

But I digress.

We haven't done anything really intense yet, just lots of long makeout sessions, and she doesn't mind me touching or kissing her chest.

Anyways, the other night, she came to sleep over, and we were havin a long makeout sesh. She got on top of me, kinda cowgirl style, and we made out like this for a real long time.

Perhaps you can see where this is going? As we were making out, she was grinding on me pretty hard for a really long time, basically dry humping me (and my penis) for a while.

After a while of that, I felt myself letting go (oh no!) and rolled her off to the side. I did blow, but i happened to be in boxer shorts and athletic shorts, so even if we were above the covers, she wouldn't have seen em.

We kinda laid there for a bit, then I excused myself to go to the bathroom. I couldn't just go grab another pair of boxers without telling her what happened, so I went in the bathroom, slipped outta the boxers, cleaned myself up, chucked the boxers (they were old anyways), and freeballed in my athletic shorts to go to sleep.

I don't think she noticed anything odd, but should I have told her? It's hard for me to discern where she wants to be sexually right now, as sometimes if my hands wander in to uncharted territory, she kinda pushes me back a bit. I just felt uncomfortable telling her what had happened.

Think I did a reasonably smart thing? Any suggestions?

Forgive the long plaintext post!

World's King

Okay, if you're close enough with this girl to have her grind on you in bed before you two fall asleep... you could have told her. She obviously knew you were hard. And everyone knows what happens to a hard penis when you stimulate it enough. It spits.

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JStrider

i'd be surprised if she hadnt figured out what happend....

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Uncle Pony

She's on another message board now posting a thread that goes something like, "My boyfriend just can't take a hint! What more do I have to do to let him know I want laid?"

aa1037

Ya I'd be surprised if she didn't know what happened too. Kinda like the escape mechanism in the man I guess tho, heh. In a situation like that, I'm not necessarily articulating the best way to say it haha

aa1037

See, the odd thing is, amidst all that, if I venture down below the belt, I feel like she is rejecting that (seems like she is pushin my hands away), so it's been a difficult read. I think I should just talk to her, eh?

tecoyah

Yes....you should. Communication has an amazing effect, might even get you (and her) laid.

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ratbastid

Girls like guys who talk to them about what they want and don't want. She'd rather not have to push you away, she'd rather you understand where she's at from the beginning, but of course she's shy to bring it up.

I doubt the mess in your pants will be a big issue for her, unless she's totally clueless about male anatomy. She'll probably think it was cute that you got concerned about it.

5757

Thats great!


So, this happened to me and my guy. He totally thought that I didn't know that it had happened. So, you should talk to her about it. Try an take it to the "next" step... instead of having her grind on your dick until you get off... have her put her hand in your shorts. I think she would do it. Shes humping you until you get off... she would do it. If you talk to her about what happened and she still doesnt want to take it to the next level...then Im sorry about that man! What a fuckin tease!

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aa1037

Yea I guess I should talk to her about it - she isn't stupid! It's likely that she realized it happened but is too shy to bring it up, so I'll have to bring it up in passing.

Now, to figure out the most appropriate way to bring it up

Redlemon

Next time you two get into bed together, reach into your bag and pull out an extra pair of boxers, and put them on the nightstand "for later, just in case".

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aa1037

haha that would be so funny...i might just try that

Redlemon

There's nothing like self-depreciating humor to break the ice on a delicate/embarassing issue like this. Just be sure to follow it up with real communication.

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Martian

Hmm, let's see. You two are getting some serious grinding/grooving action when you suddenly push her off you and wander off to the bathroom. Yeah man, she knows.

With practice you'll learn to control these things better and you'll also learn to tell when it's going to happen far enough in advance to prevent it if necessary.
Chalk it up to eperience, have a good laugh and ideally share the laugh with her.

In terms of this girl, from the sounds of it she really wants to get laid, but if she's sending you mixed signals then you'll just have to ask her what she wants.

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Cimarron29414

Good comments all around. Sounds to me like she is getting used to the idea. Any "love-making" is GOOD love-making. Be open in your communication and don't attempt to force the next step on her. Enjoy this time of exploration. Once you break the seal, so to speak, you won't ever go back to this sort of fun. You will miss it, on some levels, once it's gone.

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aa1037

Yea I agree, excellent comments all around. This is why I love TFP Awesome input that I will take into high consideration!

ruggerp11

you can say it in passing too. "you know you got me pretty excited the other day"

her - "o yea"

you (with a sheepish grin) - "I had to go change my boxers"

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fightnight

I'm with everyone here, i'd mention it. YOu probably missed a good chance for things to move to the next step. Let us know how the conversation goes!!!

*Nikki*

I would definately let her know just how excited she gets you. This is a GOOD thing!

aa1037

So I talked to her the other day. It kinda went like this:

(kinda in passing in convo)
me: sooo i bet you know what happened the other night huh?
her: yea (smile), no worries

haha and that's it, we really didn't talk about it much more, but it was nice to get it out there

Nimetic

If you ask me, it sounds like she wants some words about what she means to you, etc. I make no pretensions as to really understanding women, but it seems you've hit her horny button without hitting her love button. She want's to have all the pieces of the jigsaw then she'll let go. I reckon she thinks it'd be nicer to get this all sorted first - then to make love. And she may have a point.

Mind you I'm hypocritical bastard. But that's how I'm reading it from here. Especially if you both just sorta drifted into being girl/boyfriend like you describe... She needs to have some romance before you have that special moment don't you think? Maybe a dinner out. Time on the beach. You know... Us guys, we just want sex - women are better planners. She probably wants this to be a special memory. Well maybe.

air45

the girl is very happy to make your member explode with sex juice! this let her know you are good to go with her sex! she like to feel your hot goo, i promise from me to you! give a good try and you will know!

aa1037

haha excellent

abaya

Yeah, I'd have to agree with Nimetic. I mean, MAYBE... since I know that some women are all about the sex, too. But for most of us females, we can't really let go and get into the physical without having a whole lotta verbal/emotional lovin' before hand. Little things, non-sexual touching, small affirmations throughout the day... those are what really turn us on, when it comes time for the nooky.

Good luck, and have fun! I remember the first time a guy got a hard-on while making out with me... I thought it was cute that he was so shy about it (once I figured out what it was!!) Talking/joking about it definitely creates some bonding opportunities.

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Cynthetiq

gee that's good communication...

while this case may be okay, in the future, be frank and direct... communication is about practicing it and expressing it as best as possible. Those types of convos eventually lead to communication breakdowns and misunderstandings.

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hrandani

Does anyone else spontaneously giggle when they read air45's posts?

aa1037

yea i see what you mean there, but i felt it was appropriate in this situation, and we are pretty much on the same page all the time anyways, but i will take your advice and be more frank as we get more comfortable

qweds

ya that kid cracks me up

but right about your situation. a nice little dinner or picnic would probably hit the spot. i had a similar situation in college though she was either clueless or cruel. but i digress. as long as she knows she got you off and that doesnt put her off i'm sure she's looking for something more. and this is where you come in, presumably you know this girl better than any of us. so think up something real romantic like and spring it on her. it may not work the first time but you should be able to see if you're on the scent...

then go to town, but never forget to give more than you get

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HoneyPot

Communication is the key. Girls love a talker. We are emotional and need that reassurance everything is going to be okay. Some girls don't, but I would think most do. Just talk to her. Its that easy. The more emotional you are with your words, the more turned on she'll get! Good Luck!

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Uncle Pony

Hell yes. I think he's the funniest person on this site.

aa1037

yea we are pretty good with the talkin so far - except for talkin about sexual topics i guess. i'll be workin on it have a nice romantic time with her

Redlemon

No. His humor is like Saturday Night Live. The first couple of times they have a character, you scratch your head. The next couple of times, it is kind of funny. The next 587 times... well, the joke gets old.

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aa1037

haha nice Redlemon

Spanxxx

I wanted to put something out here for you aa1037.

I've noticed everyone saying that since she is willing to grind on you, then she is definitely horny and ready for sex.

I think this is probably a rather extreme jump from dry-humping in clothes. Yes, she knows she is turning you on. Yes, she knows you are hard. Yes, she probably enjoys the way you feel against her when she is rubbing on you. However, if you aren't doing much more than kissing around her chest and a heavy kissing make out sessions, then I seriously doubt she (or you) frankly should jump straight toward sex. Besides, once you go all the way toward intercourse, the other stuff starts to feel lacking. Which is sad really, cause the other stuff is so much fun too.

It sounds like she wants to do "something", but she isn't comfortable making the move. If she is pushing you away from her "down there" area, then don't push it. Back off, that's her call. However, if she's letting you explore her chest, etc.. then she's obviously enjoying doing things with you.

Everyone seems to be in aggrement that communication is lacking from the sexual portion of your relationship based on your descriptions. These kinds of conversations can be difficult, and likely embarassing. The key is to find the right time. I've found that right AFTER the make out session, and not before is a good time. Just when you guys are settled down and going to sleep, ask her kindly, "would you like to do something more, or would you like me to do anything special to you?"

These things usually just evolve. First comes kissing, then comes rubbing, then comes kissing and touching more areas, then comes manual sex (hand jobs, fingering, etc), then comes oral sex, then comes sex.

My suggestion is that next time she is rubbing on you and you KNOW that she can obviously feel that you are erect, just ask her directly, "would you like to touch me?" or maybe if words feel to awkward, slide her off of you, and gently take her hand in yours and slide it down (or up if you are wearing loose shorts) to your penis. Then, if she doesn't jerk away or feel offended, remove your hand and encourage her, "go ahead, it's okay".

Let things progress naturally. Never rush her. Express your interests to her, but start by ASKing her what her interests are.

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zkara

I agree with Abaya. Us ladies gotta feel the love before we would let go.. and when there's enough loving.. you might be surprised how far we will go
So get with the lovey doveys.. might sound pukey to bystanders.. but most girls love it...

fyrehair

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raeanna74

I just wanted to add that when a guy wants to finger me I often automatically push him away. It's primarily because I am quite sensitive on my clit and don't really relish a lot of stimulation there, especially if I'm not expecting or in the mood for actual sex.

As other's have said - you GOTTA talk. Go ahead and make it blunt, don't try to be subtle or suave about it cause you'll be uncomfortable no matter what. Just get it out in the open and ask "Are you interested in having sex with me?" "What do you need from me to feel READY to have sex." It's the only way to know things for sure.

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motdakasha

The "no worries" indicates she obviously understands biology. However, you are afraid she doesn't want to go all the way. Based on the fact that she dry-humped you, but sometimes pushes you away if you reach for areas, it sounds like maybe you are going at a pace she's not comfortable with.

Be patient and follow her lead.

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aa1037

Again thanks for the different opinions, especially Spanxxx. Yea, I definitely felt that even though we are dry humping, it doesn't mean she wants to move too quickly. I haven't pushed anything and am going to let her do her thing when she is comfortable. It'll come naturally.

drewpy

hey aa1037 -

everybody has been focusing on your getting off - but - I have'nt heard anybody comment on whether she got off/gets off on the dry humping. Seems like from what you described, she was the one on top doing the grinding. With this thought in mind - like every other good TFP commentary - I say communicate - but realize that her grinding is a good form of communication. Build upon that patiently, as you are. However, I wouldn't try to push the verbal "let's have a discussion about our dry humping over a cup of coffee" approach - rather look to non-verbal signals such as lovingly hugging after a spiriting grinding session, or eye contact that says how much you appreciate the obvious closeness - in addtion to the appeciative and affirming comments you no doubt generally are already making ...

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