SilverScooter

well, according to any nude modeling class i or any pervert friend of mine has ever taken, its virtually a prerequisite for the model to be fat and/or old. not to say that your girlfriend is fat and/or old, but art schools typically subscribe to this belief and their classes thus carry the stigma that its students will draw fat, old people.

"what the crap are you getting at?" you say.

hopefully art students aren't as perverted as say, my friends, and hopefully the really perverted ones are really turned off to the class because of said stigma as were, say, my friends.

bottom line, i would personally feel uncomfortable if my girlfriend wanted to be a nude model, but knowing that the class isn't as full of perverts as you'd think would make me feel a little better about it. after all, you need to be a dedicated artist to get by in a nude drawing class, not just a pervert. most artists focus more on lines and curves and realism than the actual situation at hand.

look at your girlfriend as a bowl of fruit; they get to draw it, but you get to eat it.

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and that's the end of that chapter...

Wingless

Wow, thanks everybody for your support. Great to know that there's enough people here that can handle a mature conversation. Anywho:

Well she's been telling me that she's been thinking about doing it for awhile - it was just yesterday, however, that there actually was an opening in the art department to do so. The whole time I have been against the idea, and I've communicated that back to her. Unfortunately up until yesterday it seemed more like she was joking about it to piss me off, so when she told me yesterday about the opening, i gave the same half-pissed-off, half-joking response. (We were talking online at the time - I'm still living at home while she's at college.) So I just did the immature thing and stopped talking to her for the night.

Label me a hypocrite as well.

I fucked your girlfriend. And your mom. And your sister. At the same time. Without protection. And lots of lube.

Ironic (?) thing is that she's in a life drawing class... drawing fat, old, naked people for the most part... I know it's for art, I know her class is in it for art and not to pick her up, but still dammit, can't change my mind right now - I don't want her to do it.

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Tommy
Nibs is a funny word.
So here I am, above palm trees, so straight and tall...
You are, smaller getting smaller, but I still see... you.
Jimmy Eat World - Goodbye Sky Harbor

Captain Nemo

Dude, your attitude is working against you. My wife told me that a co-worker of hers was going to pose nude (tastefully) for a professional photographer, and I asked her if she had ever considered it. When she said that she had I encouraged her. You wouldn't believe what a shot to the self-esteem that was for her. An admission by me that I feel that her body is attractive enough to pose nude did wonders for how she views herself. It was also a re-affirmation of my commitment to her that I would hold that level of trust in her.

And it did not hurt the sex life one damn little bit ;P

Captain Nemo

Oh, and by the way, do you ever look at porn or been to a strip bar?

I am assuming you have and I am having a hell of a hard time equating that to your girlfriend posing for an art class. And by the way, I was a complete dog in college, but I never really saw taking an art class as a way to satisfy my voyeuristic desires. Well, probably one reason is I suck at drawing. I would have to believe that the people taking an art class are taking it because they have artistic abilities and not to drool at your girlfriend. There are much easier ways to see real naked women.

And I don't think she'll turn into Bambi the pole dancer either, but thats just my two cents.

Sargeman

True, and I never said they were one and the same, however it is still her body. Why wouldn't she be allowed to have sex with whoever she wants.

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frogza

As an artist myself I can tell you there is nothing sexual about figure drawing classes. After about 5 minutes the model's muscles are aching which makes him/her start to move, the artist are getting frustrated because the model is moving or because they can't quite get their drawing right. The artist aren't there to gawk but to learn.
As for perverts in the class, every art program I've looked into has figure drawing as an advanced level course. Which means that there is a list of prerequisites to get through before figure drawing. That process weeds out all but the most serious artists, any perverts who want to take the class to see naked people would likely give up and just go online to get their kicks.
Also artist will spend barely anytime at all looking at the model's sexual organs because they are very easy to draw, no real complexity. Most of the time is spent staring intently at their hands, feet, face etc. because those are the body parts that are most difficult to draw.

In the end I think you need to be an artist, or know an artist very well, to understand it. Sometimes in classes our model will be a no-show. It usually only takes about 5 minutes until one of us is naked and posing. I would have no problem with my wife posing for an art class, because I understand the whole process quite well.

adam

I don't think it would bother me. So they see her nude, so what? I think you are assigning too much significance to seeing someone nude.

In any case, it isn't your right/privilege to control; it's hers. So it's up to her to decide.

pinkie

My sentiments exactly…

mtsgsd

Ain't no more to be said after that. But it's tempting.

Mephisto2

I love this "I would not let my gf pose for others" kind of stuff.

Who on Earth do you think you are?!!

You would not let her?!! Your permission would not be forthcoming?!

My God... Women have not been considered chattels for quite some time.


It's entirely up to an individual if they want to pose for art, and make some good money at the same time (though I think $12/hr pretty much stinks).

You don't own your girlfriend. If she's willing to go through the initial (and presumed) embarrassment, then who are you to step in and say "I'm the only one allowed to see you nude"?

That smacks of absolute and categorical male sexism and chauvinism.

Mr Mephisto

Wingless

I know in the end I can't control what she wants to do, but nevertheless that doesn't change my opinion.

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Tommy
Nibs is a funny word.
So here I am, above palm trees, so straight and tall...
You are, smaller getting smaller, but I still see... you.
Jimmy Eat World - Goodbye Sky Harbor

Scorpio800

IMO If this bothers you, you are very insecure.

maleficent

Ooooh Bad choice of words... the only person you can control is you and your actions.

Why does this bother you? Her doctor sees her nude, if she goes to a spa, they would see her nude, why does an art class, where people in the class are there for a purpose, to draw, not to oogle a woman, bother you?

Why not find an art class that your girlfriend is not posing for, and take a class, and you will see for yourself.

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shortynickel

i would also be totally up for posing nude if it presented itself...tho i would prolly be nervous and maybe embarrassed but it would be one hella of a rush!!

anyway i agree that it's her body, tho you dont owe her, you can express your opinion to her which IMO that is the best thing to do cause if ya cant communicate in a relationship then you or her will end up with hurt feelings...i think it would be a good idea if you would take or at least visit one day of one of those art classes.

Val_1

What's the big deal? Nudity isn't that big of a deal. Plus, it's in a controled environment. If she wants do it, fine. If someone whats to look at a girl, there's easier and cheaper ways of getting your rocks off than taking an art class.

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flstf

Having spent some time in art school and drawing from nude models believe me it is no big deal. The first time in class you get over the novelty of it in a few minutes. After all it is just the human body and there are billions of them on this planet. As an art student you are far more interested in form and line and expression. I know that our culture is weird when it comes to nudity but there is nothing sexual about modeling this way. In my opinion you should try and open your mind and accept her decision.

Uiberto

No matter what your girlfriend is doing or where she is, it is likely and reasonable that someone is fantasizing about her. There are perverts among us. I am one of them. Thank me for having the honesty to bring this epidemic to light.

Beauty does not diminish with use. If I had a limitless supply of delectable cookies, I would not squander them so.

My girlfriend poses nude. It is inconsequential to the well-being of our relationship. I love her. And, indeed, I masturbate to her.

fnaqzna

I can't see a problem either. To me, jealousy is just juvenile.

d*d

reading the postings on this thread it looks like in answer to your question - Am I wrong not to like this? is overwhelmingly yes,
Assuming you admit that this is now your problem not hers I'm interested to know if you will take it on board and try to confront/ overcome these feelings and become arguably a better person. Or are you going to hide in the comfort of your insecurity and impose some sort of nudity embargo? be nice to know how this turns out

joeshoe

I would mind, with similar reasons as the poster. Of course, it would be her decision and I wouldn't stop her, but there's something unsettling about other guys seeing her nude.

SirSeymour

You might have a leg to stand on here if she was your wife. Then, I think, you would have a bit more say in this issue. However, she is your girlfriend. Getting bent out of shape over this is a good way for her to not be your girlfriend for very long. Although frankly, if she is interested in this and you are not, it may point to underlying compatability issues indicating you both might be better off if you were not together.

Personally, I would love it if my wife were interested in doing this but then I take great pride in showing her off when she is willing to let me.

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Fate

I would be fine with it really, if it's for art, I would actually encourage her. The womans body is something beautiful. Drawing a woman in the nude is a great way to learn how to draw abstract. Also I've dated a stripper before, and the usage of a body during a strip show is explicitly for sexual purposes. I had no problems with it.

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alpha

I'd definitely have a problem with my gf posing nude but in the end, I don't see how I could stop her from doing it.

Ramallah

I think I'd be okay with it if my girlfriend wanted to pose nude. There's a difference between art and pornography. If my girlfriend's body is beautiful enough that someone wants to immortalize it, let them immortalize it. What's so significant about people seeing her nude anyway? It's just a human body. We're all the same underneath our clothes.

jon_264

It's her body so it's up to her!
One positive way of looking at it is that other people get to draw it but you get to explore it.

KungFuGuy

i've thought about doing it and i'm a guy
i dont think i'd have a problem with a girlfriend doing it. the one lady i'm seeing now is very attractive and i'd probably enjoy showing her off

edit- of course they were looking for male nudes at the time.

Vyk

My ex-girlfriend used to work for an art department as their nude model. I never had a problem with it. She was there to earn money for school and it paid the bills. None of the people painting/drawing what they saw were getting off on what they saw. Plus, she came home to me so why should I have a problem with it?

As an additional plus, while she had the job she actually bothered to shave her legs every day (which didn't happen normally). Hurray!

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Bauh4us

I think it depends on how strongly you feel on this. How long did it take you to see her naked? If it took a while for you to "earn" such a privilige then you can use that as an arguement. Ultimately it is her choice, but I would imagine that if you are in a committed relationship then your opinion has to count for something .

And as far as the statements to the effect of "I would not let my gf pose nude" I don't think the meaning is that the gf has to ask for permission, but rather that the person feels so strongly on the matter that if said gf posed against the wishes of her partner, that she would no longer be that persons gf.

I don't "let" my gf fuck other people, it is not that she has to ask my permission to do so, rather it is if she chooses to we are no longer together .

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anti fishstick

I don't really know of any art models in my school that go to the school. I don't think they offer this job to students, and I'm glad. It would be weird to see my classmates naked, I think. You do get used to seeing naked bodies as art but it wouldn't be the same if you knew the person. I would also feel less comfortable posing in front of people I knew. I'd much rather be unknown if I were to do that at all.

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arch13

I find it exceptionally amusing that so many men project a feeling of ownership over their signifigant others.
To turn the tables, if you got a job being a nude model (this is not a question of if you would!), would you feel that you had the right to chose if you modeled, or if your SO stated they would not let you do this would you feel that they had the right to tell you not to do this?

I am guilty of this at times, but try at all times to look impartitialy at what I am doing to see the falacy of my actions.

You want her to be sexy, but only for you. Many here seem to feel that the body of their SO is only for their eyes or enjoyment.

As for the the intent of this thread, question why you feel so strongly about this issue. Are you projecting feeling of ownership on your loved one?
Perhaps it is best to remember that a relationship is made of two indiviguals who choose to remain together. You have no obligation to stay with her, nor does she have an obligation to you. You have love. You have the right to express your feelings on such a matter as this. She has the right to make a choice of her own without feeling undue pressure from you or fear that you would terminate your relationship with her if she chooses to disagree with your opposition.
A relationship is a commitment of two people to each other, and one anothers interests, but it never means that one partner makes descions for another.

In this case she is not cheating on you, nor breaking any other barrier you two had mutual agreement about.
Instead you are projecting your personal fears about the stability of your relationship and your issues of human sexuality and the body onto her.

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d*d

I wouldn't like it if my SO said I wasn't ALLOWED to do anything, it would make me want to do it more (and I'm sure she feels the same way, both quite stubborn). However if she said she didn't like the idea I would be quite touched in a way that she felt protective over my body.

Clark

I would have no problem with my wife posing for a life drawing class, this is a part of the art students education and not overly sexual.

However, if it makes you uncofterable this is something you need to talk about with her. Every one has there own cofert level and if you are not up front with yours it will only lead to truble latter.

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Derwood

Ah, I remember the days when I thought $12/hour was a lot of money...

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Bauh4us

He is not trying to own her, it bothers him, is that so wrong? The amount that it bothers him is what matters. And if it bothers him to the point where it could threaten their relationship but she does it anyway, who is at fault here? I don't think his feelings on this is something he has active control over. Cut the man some slack.

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noblejr

One of my friends (male) is doing the same thing for $15 an hour. Tell her she should ask for more money.

Daoust

EXACTLY! You all get so hung up on 'how dare he tell her what he thinks'. That's brutal. If a man can't have an opinion about what his SO is doing, and or can't tell her about it, than obviously there can't be much of a relationship here...

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DaDictionaryBoy

My only suggestion for you is to take a life drawing class yourself and see how you feel about drawing a nude woman you don't know personally. In my experience, the initial interest in seeing someone you don't know nude (not the usual state for most people we see during the day) is quickly forgotten in the intensity of trying to replicate them in chalk, pencil, clay, what have you.

During my art minor I took a photography class in which I shot some fairly erotically charged nudes of my then girlfriend as my final project. It was an excellent experience and even though every single person in my class saw her in fairly intimate detail, it was what it was. An art project. It didn't give them any rights on her, she didn't start having sex with any of them. We all went about our business, graduated and that was that.

I fully support everyone who has said that you should have a conversation with your g/f about it. But if she chooses to do it, you can't morally or ethically do more than say that you wish she wouldn't.

DaDictionaryBoy

The point isn't that he can't have an opinion. The point is that he can't "forbid" her from doing it. Every one is entitled to have an opinion, but you can't use emotional blackmail to enforce it.

If she wants to pose and he doesn't, then it's still her choice because it's her body, just as it would be his choice if she objected to him posing. The strength of their relationship will be in whether she chooses not to do it because he objects, or in what he chooses to do should she decided to pose even after he objects.

But all this talk of "allowing" and "forbidding" is just a bit too "Me man, you woman" for me, at least.

slimsam1

When you're in an exclusive relationship, it's your responisbility to take into consideration your partner's wishes when making decisions. While you can not tell each other what to do, you certainly may let each other know your feelings about something.

If you don' t think you are wrong to feel uncomfortable with her modeling nude, then explain why you feel that way. Maybe her response will set you at ease, or maybe she will better understand your perspective and factor your feelings into her decision more.

Eugeni

Don't focus it on her. Deal it as a couple thing and ask her how would she feel about you posing. I think this conversation will lead to the solution of the problem.

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