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Old 09-11-2004, 02:24 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Sex Etiquette

Last night i was with a girl and when i went down on her she.....well she farted.. i found this a little bit of a turn of, i feel like i have lost trust in all women, who knows how long it will be before i can go down again..
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Old 09-11-2004, 04:44 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by josh999
Last night i was with a girl and when i went down on her she.....well she farted.. i found this a little bit of a turn of, i feel like i have lost trust in all women, who knows how long it will be before i can go down again..
Ummm... Grow up? Seriously, thats about the most childish thing Ive heard in a while... Just because she's female doesn't mean she isnt allowed to have biological functions
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Old 09-11-2004, 05:12 AM   #3 (permalink)
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seriously. this happened a few times, my girl was pretty embarassed but i just smiled and kept going, pretended i hadn't even noticed. i didn't want to make her self-concious. anything you can do to make her more comfortable in bed, and thus more sexually comfortable and open ... well that can only be a good thing.
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Old 09-11-2004, 05:16 AM   #4 (permalink)
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That does sound pretty ridiculous.
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Old 09-11-2004, 05:22 AM   #5 (permalink)
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My wife's done that to me a couple times. We just laughed it off and I kept going. It's natural. I've done it to her once too. All part of human biology my man. Get over it.
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Old 09-11-2004, 05:33 AM   #6 (permalink)
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She couldn't help it. Think about it - if she could help it, lord knows she wouldn't have done it, right? She didn't have a choice, it just happened and I'd bet my last dollar that she feels worse about it than you do.

As for that making you lose your "trust" in women, I think that's pretty strange mate. First of all, how much trust do you put into going down on a one-night stand in the first place? This thread makes my head hurt...
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Old 09-11-2004, 08:00 AM   #7 (permalink)
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You lost all trust in women? Oh grow up.

You know what you should do? become a monk. That way you'll never have to be able to "trust" a woman again. And some poor girl won't have to put up with your bullshit.

Sorry, but honestly..
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Old 09-11-2004, 08:02 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Seriously, that's a weird thing to say over a "fart"

It's just gas you know
pfffft....... and then get on with it =D
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Old 09-11-2004, 08:41 AM   #9 (permalink)
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You know, you could actually take it as a sign that you were doing everything right and that it was your fault that she farted. It could have been that you were making her nice and relaxed and thats why it happened. So feel good about it!!

I dunno.... some people.... they dont know when they've got it good
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Old 09-11-2004, 08:50 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Uhm, as a female myself, if that ever happened to me (thank the gods it hasn't as yet) I sure would feel rather embarrased even though it is a natural thing, but like one or two others said, I am sure it wasn't intentional - so don't be so hard on her, geez, it could happen to anyone! About the losing trust thing... that's just plain silly dude. Come'on... Sounds like it was a one night stand cos in my opinion, if u r with someone u love, that kinda thing really shouldn't matter... after all, it's all about enjoying each other completely..
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Old 09-11-2004, 08:59 AM   #11 (permalink)
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That is all...
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Old 09-11-2004, 09:29 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Let me get this straight..
You were between the legs of a naked woman and she accidently farted, so you are not going to trust women.
LIGHTEN UP! Stranger things have happened.
Could have actually been worse.
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Old 09-11-2004, 10:10 AM   #13 (permalink)
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My GF and I are sitting here drinking coffee and she just farted. I still trust her though.
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Old 09-11-2004, 10:14 AM   #14 (permalink)
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I fart around my girlfriend all the time and she farts around me, it's no big deal, at least she didn't accidentally crap on you, then I could understand you losing "trust" in her, but not all women, and not over a stupid little fart. Don't act like you've never let out a loud one.
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Old 09-11-2004, 10:24 AM   #15 (permalink)
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No Mallrats jokes yet?
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Old 09-11-2004, 10:39 AM   #16 (permalink)
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What if the situation were reversed, and she was giving you head, and you farted, like that'd never happened to anyone I'm sure, would you expect her to be traumatized and never ever give you head again.

Avoid beans and gaseous vegetables in the future before hand...
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Old 09-11-2004, 06:27 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Hahahahahahahaha. I wish you could laugh it off. It's happened to the best of us. Definitely a turn off, but hopefully you can get over it.
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Old 09-11-2004, 07:14 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Like other's have said-grow up! No one has complete control of their nether regions. O'kay, maybe we suddenly get the urge to pee when we're outside or in the basement or elsewhere. We clamp our legs shut and do the speed-walk-waddle thing (at least for females) as fast as we can to the toilet.

Most of the time we make it and then do the light-speed, "fumble with the button/zipper/elastic as fast as we can, yank them down, get your butt on the seat before the dam breaks" maneuver.

The same happens with sex, if it's immenent and you're in the middle of something hot-n-heavy, then it's either (if you can, at the expense of some discomfort or pain) hold it in if possible, or if not, then shit/farts/piss/queefs happen. (Shitting on accident vs. intentionally I'm sure has happened, thankfully not to me!). Oh, and don't forget the come from both sexes.

Question- How do you know that it was a fart from the bowels (did it smell?) or air from her vagina? If there was no smell than chances are it was from the latter and in that case than most likely, you're the one who led to it happening in the first place. If you can't accept normal biological funtions, than maybe you're too immature to be having sex or possibly should hit your local library and read up about sex and sexuality.

Losing faith in women because of a biological function that every human being does? Puuleeese. If that's your stance, then you're doomed to never have a long-term relationship with a woman...Unless you meet up with one who is made up of micro-chips, plastic and rubber and is programmed to say " whatever you wish or don't wish master!".

Ali
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Old 09-12-2004, 10:33 AM   #19 (permalink)
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I think it would be a good thing, she is able to do stuff in front of you that she does not do otherwise
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Old 09-12-2004, 11:58 AM   #20 (permalink)
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I might have been mad if she deficated in my face, but a fart? Jeez. I hope you finished, otherwise that's just rude of you! I consider it a privelage to do that to a woman. Let's not waste a privelage.
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Old 09-12-2004, 02:10 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by josh999
Last night i was with a girl and when i went down on her she.....well she farted.. i found this a little bit of a turn of, i feel like i have lost trust in all women, who knows how long it will be before i can go down again..
So, since you hate gaseous farts, do you feel the same regarding pussy farts? Happens to me and flygirl all the time. Frankly, I'm so busy pumping I couldn't care less.

Grow up dude.

Last edited by Flyguy; 09-12-2004 at 02:12 PM..
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Old 09-13-2004, 06:33 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Think about it this way dude, you were doing something to her that felt good, and she lost control for a minute. Give it a rest. Now if she kept doing it thinking you liked it, that's another story.
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Old 09-13-2004, 08:21 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Is that an erotic way of "pulling her finger"??
 
Old 09-13-2004, 09:26 AM   #24 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by josh999
Last night i was with a girl and when i went down on her she.....well she farted.. i found this a little bit of a turn of, i feel like i have lost trust in all women, who knows how long it will be before i can go down again..
well,i have never experienced anything like that to be frank,i know it feels awkward to you and worse to the girl.but i feel you must get over it.
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Old 09-13-2004, 09:30 AM   #25 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RAGEAngel9
No Mallrats jokes yet?
Well, someone has to do it. Might as well be me...
Quote:
Brodie: Tell me, did you ever fart in front of her?
T.S.: No, why do you ask?
Brodie: I never farted in front of Renee. Last week, I let one slip and today she dumps me.
T.S.: Renee's not the shallow type. You're not insinuating...
Brodie: She was going down on me at the time.
T.S.: [Retches]
Brodie: What can I say, I was feeling relaxed, when I feel relaxed I squirt.
T.S.: If all she did was dump you, you got off light.
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Old 09-13-2004, 09:56 AM   #26 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Y2KDREAD
I think it would be a good thing, she is able to do stuff in front of you that she does not do otherwise
Good Lord man it's not like he's sitting across the table from her at lunch where you've both just shared a tray full of deviled eggs!! He's giving her a hummer for crap's sake and she lets lose with a dastardly breakage of wind!

Now...losing faith in all women over it is a little melodramatic. Putting her in the dutch oven after a night full of draft beer and cocktail snausages -- now that seems like justice!
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Old 09-13-2004, 09:59 AM   #27 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Averett
You lost all trust in women? Oh grow up.

You know what you should do? become a monk. That way you'll never have to be able to "trust" a woman again. And some poor girl won't have to put up with your bullshit.

Sorry, but honestly..
Now that's damn funny....
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Old 09-13-2004, 10:23 AM   #28 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by josh999
Last night i was with a girl and when i went down on her she.....well she farted.. i found this a little bit of a turn of, i feel like i have lost trust in all women, who knows how long it will be before i can go down again..
rofl

Bit of advice man, get over it. It's not the worse (or best, depending on the opinion or fetish) thing that'll ever happen to you while having sex.

-Al
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Old 09-13-2004, 06:35 PM   #29 (permalink)
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WAIT! Did she fart on purpose?

Maybe she was like, "Ha! I farted on you, you little bitch." In which case I could understand the losing of faith thing.
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Old 09-13-2004, 07:20 PM   #30 (permalink)
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This thread was very theraputic in terms of future referencing.
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Old 09-13-2004, 08:21 PM   #31 (permalink)
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dude... that's not a big deal. i even got you beat. i once got a nosebleed while going down on my girlfriend. that was an interesting night...
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Old 09-13-2004, 09:17 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Here's what you do - you go down on her again. The next time you are with her. And you go down on her good, really good. Not because of how you're reacting but because the poor girl is probably petrified from it. Show her you're big enough to get beyond this and get it behind both of you - now! Otherwise this will always be there. She'll feel intimidated and she'll probably sense you feel the way you do, like the way you worded your post. Do it and get beyond it all.
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Old 09-15-2004, 04:30 AM   #33 (permalink)
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Okay, we all fart. I fart, you fart, we all fart. End of discussion.

Frankly, when you get really relaxed, who the hell knows what comes out of you.


I've made a few mistakes in etiquette before - one girl who I was dating was on the pill. Since we had both been tested as clean, we didn't use a condom. After I came, apparently I had cum a lot and it started to "come back out." When she went to wipe, I made a lousy comment and she got SOOOO embarrassed. Won't do that again. (However, she WAS wiping herself right in front of me. It was both funny and a little strange.)
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Old 09-15-2004, 04:57 PM   #34 (permalink)
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*The Surgeon General warns that people faint of heart, pregnant, have a general fear of bodily functions or lose consciousness easily should avert from reading the following:*

I was with a gal last October. She is a longtime friend as well. We ended up getting smashed at a great party then went back to her place. The details that follow entering her front door are sketchy, but I recall her in bed, on her hands and knees and me eating her out from behind. I also remebber waking up and having her looknig straight at me, telling me she started her period last night.

Although a bit embarassed, I was not upset, mad at her or grossed out. I don't want it to happen again, but it was no reason to lose any trust in the whole female species. That is just silly bro.
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Old 09-18-2004, 01:02 AM   #35 (permalink)
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After she farted, did you make it obvious you noticed and 'lost all trust in women?'. Should make things interesting, possibly in your favor. If you bring it up she's going to be highly offended, your better off never mentioning it and making her feel comfortable about such things during random conversation.

also, who's standards are you comparing her to?
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Old 09-18-2004, 01:52 AM   #36 (permalink)
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A fart is nothing. I would lose my fucking mind if a girl took a shit on me though.
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Old 09-20-2004, 08:48 AM   #37 (permalink)
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My ex used to rub on the wrong side of my vagina when he was down on me (no clue why) so he was pressing against my anal region. It was next to impossible not to fart because of the pressure on the inside from his fingers. Thankfully I never did or he likely would have reacted the same way our friend Josh did. Hence he is an ex.

Anyway, my point is, the urge is hard to fight, and the best way to never get laid again is to make your women feel guilty about it.
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Old 09-20-2004, 09:12 AM   #38 (permalink)
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alright, i'd hate to be one to jump on the (rather large) bandwagon, but in all seriousness, please grow up.

if anything you should feel more comfortable, after all it is very humanizing and a way to separate your sex lives from the hopeful idealism that will ultimately cause you to "lose all trust in women."

if all else fails, talk about it, laugh about it and hell, keep doing it. its no reason to be traumatized...

...unless you're 11, in which case you've got cooties.
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Old 09-20-2004, 09:47 AM   #39 (permalink)
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And here I thought that this was going to be a post about writing a thank you note, after a post-coital romp.

Seriously...if that's your only problem, in the sack, then you got it good, my friend. It happens. Move on, and enjoy what ya got while ya got it.
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