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Old 07-29-2004, 11:29 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Girls, What bothers you the most about guys?

Sorry if this is a repost, I didnt know what to search for. Im interested in knowing what each of you girls finds to be the most annoying about guys in general.... things we can avoid doing.
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Old 07-29-2004, 11:30 AM   #2 (permalink)
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lying. If you say you're going to do something, DO IT. If you say you won't do something again, DON'T. Remember promises. Don't hide things just cuz you think you'll be in trouble, just tell us. I promise it'll be easier to deal with that way than having your girl find out. Do nice things for us. The simple things usually mean the most. Do something sweet for her to find when she gets home from work. Instead of watching her do dishes, have her sit down and relax while you do them sometimes. Pick up after yourself. We are not your maids. We do not intend to BE your maids. And we like to live in clean environments. Do not keep us from our friends, whether they be guys or girls. Trust begets trust. We are not your mother. Do not expect us to act like her. Do not talk down to us, do not joke about us being fat. Try to use tact when/if you have a touchy subject to bring up. Don't accuse. Don't assume. COMMUNICATE.

I know this is pretty general and not all guys are like this, but you
asked a very general question. This will go for guys and girls, IMHO
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Old 07-29-2004, 12:21 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Girls, What bothers you the most about guys?

Quote:
Originally posted by xim
[whats] annoying about guys in general.... things we can avoid doing.
I wouldn't avoid doing anything. Their are to many rules in this world already.
 
Old 07-30-2004, 06:06 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I see this more in a certain age group of men rather than all men.. however, that because I am female, I can't possibly know more about something than they do.
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Old 07-30-2004, 07:20 AM   #5 (permalink)
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A good female friend of mine told me one to add.. she's not on this forum... She said she hates it when guys rub their cock on her when their horny..

personally, I've never done this.
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Old 07-30-2004, 07:23 AM   #6 (permalink)
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-Making false promises- like saying he'll take me somewhere nice for dinner to make up for something...and then he never does until I harass him.
-Ignoring me when I'm really depressed.
-Picking at my pimples!!
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Old 07-30-2004, 10:14 AM   #7 (permalink)
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This it? O_o
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Old 07-30-2004, 11:10 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I hope the fact that I have more "bothers" than the rest of the ladies do is cuz of my age... otherwise.. jeeesh, I ama bitter old shrew...

a backwards baseball cap, t-shirt and scruffy, saggy in the butt jeans, while an absolutely adorable look on Saturday afternoon, Dinner out, requires a little more thought in to wardrobe choices.

If I offer a suggestion about anything, it's not because I'm dissatisfied with you and am trying to change you.

When you answer a question repeating my question back to me, that's generally a dead giveaway that a lie is coming, don't give me attitude when I raise an eyebrow.

I'm not a fashionista, but yes, I do need 4 different coats, they each serve different purpose.

I'm not a real girlie girl, but eyebrows are m y thing, if I want to spend 8 dollars every 6 weeks to have my eyebrows waxed, that's my business. If I want to have my gray hair taken care of every 8 weeks, that's my business.
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Old 07-30-2004, 11:43 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Maleficent has a good point about the going out to dinner thing. I'm a guy and I am constantly amazed, dissapointed, and disgusted by my gender in regards to this. When I take my fiance' out to a decent restaurant and see other couples the girls are nicely dressed but often the guys have a ball cap on backwards (I'll never understand the backwards cap thing, it looks silly) a t-shirt and maybe even shorts and ratty shoes. For the love of God, you're paying for a nice meal, you're with the one you love, (or at least the one you want the good lovin' from) and you look like you should be digging a ditch. Shame. If you must dress like a slob at least take the hat off inside, thats just common courtesy.
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Old 07-30-2004, 11:54 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Looking vs Leering
There's a difference.
I'm secure. Well most of the time anyhow.
Look all you want to. Glance away at all the sweet young things, I don't care, really. Heck, I'll even point them out (I probably have better taste than you anyhow) But tongue hanging out leering, is not acceptable and you will get a smack upside the head. She's a person, with feelings, and not a piece of meat dammit.
OK, I feel better.
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Old 07-30-2004, 02:06 PM   #11 (permalink)
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OMFG I just wrote this REALLY LONG thing and somehow it got deleted. I am so pissed right now....argh....
Maybe I'll rewrite it later.
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Old 07-30-2004, 02:44 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Bah, I can't remember half of what I typed before but I'm typing up as much of it as I can remember

Some of this stuff will be shockingly obvious. But...most of these things are not rare, so I thought I might as well let you guys know how very, very annoying they are.

1. Don't stare at a girl like a piece of meat -- As Maleficient said, there's a huge difference between appreciative glances and staring at a girl like you're a dog with a piece of raw meat danging in front of you. I have to admit, it's nice and flattering to have a guy glance at you a few times and maybe even smile....but it's disgusting when a guy is practically drooling as he looks at you. There's a huge difference. Learn it.

2. Don't stare at a girl when you already have a girl around your arm -- I really hate when guys do this. So much. It's disgusting. Do you think girls are flattered to see someone who can't even respect the girl he's with checking them out? I find it to be a huge turnoff. Oh yeah...and this should go without saying, but don't try to talk to the girl you're checking out when your girlfriend is trailing behind you. We can see your girlfriend. Just because you want her to be invisible, doesn't mean she is.

3. Don't comment on her body -- If you're staring at a girl like a piece of meat, she probably already knows that to you, she's got nice a nice ass/tits/boobs/whatever. You don't need to tell her. It's tacky and it will only add to your nastiness factor....oh yeah, and this goes for turning to your guy friend(s) as she passes by and saying "look at the ass on that girl!"

4. Don't use bad, cliched and stupid pickup lines - Just don't do it. It's a joke. If you want to talk to a girl, you can just talk to her like you would any other human being. As stated above, commenting on her body parts or drooling over her breasts as you talk to her isn't going to get you anywhere. Saying "How you doin'" will most likely get a roll of the eyes and "Hey baby!", while an okay greeting for your girlfriend, isn't so great for that girl walking down the street. Especially if it's delivered while staring at her breasts (I'm sorry, but yes, I do feel the need to repeat this over and over again). Oh yeah, and while not exactly pickup lines, barking at a girl like a dog is NOT sexy. Neither is smooching in her direction as she walks by.

5. Don't dress like a slob -- This has been stated...but here I'm not even talking about baseball caps (even though they do look stupid backwards) or ripped jeans or a sort of stylized messyness. I'm talking about wearing clothes that don't fit, no name brand white tennis shoes, and things that scream "cheap". No...you don't have to spend $70 on a pair of pants...but you should be willing to spend at least $30. You should know what size you wear. I don't want to see your socks when you're walking around....and I don't want to see your boxers/butt either. That's not to say your pants should be so big that you look like a clown. Just look somewhat presentable and it will do wonders for you.

6. Complementing other girls doesn't mean you have to make yourself seem like a dumbass -- It's okay to complement that girl you're going after, but keep in mind that you're trying to IMPRESS the girl, not make her think she's better than you. As an example, here's a dialogue I had a few weeks ago with a guy:
Guy: "Wow! That's a big book! How long does it take you to read something like that?"
Me: "Oh, I don't know...two weeks?"
Guy: "That's impressive! 'Cause when I go to the bookstore, I just get so intimidated by books like that!"

Do you see what I mean? Not impressive.


7. Don't be uptight and anal - I don't know about other girls but I think it's the hugest turnoff when a guy gets so uptight about everything he owns. For example...if he brings you into his house and has to rearrange the rug every time you step on it...it's just not good. The girl (and most people) won't notice or care if the rug is a little bit ruffled. It's just annoying when they have to worry about every little thing they do when they're at your house.

8. Don't brag -- It makes you seem desperate and insecure - like you're trying way too hard. Don't pick up heavy objects and tell her how much they weigh. Don't tell her how much everything in your apartment is worth. If she likes how your apartment looks or admires your big arms, she'll be impressed. She won't need you to point them out to her.


And this last thing...It's more of a personal thing. Maybe other girls don't mind it that much. But here it goes:
8. I hate it when men who are clearly 20+ years older than me approach me. If they were good looking and confident, I might not mind...but more often than not, they're either these wimpy little pasty guys or they're just nasty and out of shape. And....more often than not, they do one of the things above. I amost find it insulting. A lot of times after one of these encounters, I'll find myself walking away almost angry or wondering why he thought that I was in his league. This is going to sound incredibely bitchy...but if you know you're out of shape/ugly, 40+ years old, and haven't had a long term relationship since college, maybe you should stop hitting on 20 year olds and start trying to get someone in your league.
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Old 07-30-2004, 02:46 PM   #13 (permalink)
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From what I've learned which isn't much I'd have to say that everyone is going to do something annoying to somebody at some point. This being said..when you find that special person..their faults and annoying habits..become beautiful pieces of their soul that attracts you even more
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Old 07-30-2004, 05:34 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by guccilvr
..when you find that special person..their faults and annoying habits..become beautiful pieces of their soul that attracts you even more
Your joking, right???
Those endearing little faults and habits, after about, oh, say, 20 years, turn into big pain in the ass annoyances that completely turn one off!!! If you don't like what he/she's doing now, trust me, you're gonna blow a gasket over it later.
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Old 07-30-2004, 06:00 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Disclaimer; This is not an attack on this poster, it is a response to something I felt needed addressing.




Quote:
Originally posted by Trisk
Bah, I can't remember half of what I typed before but I'm typing up as much of it as I can remember

Some of this stuff will be shockingly obvious. But...most of these things are not rare, so I thought I might as well let you guys know how very, very annoying they are.

2. Don't stare at a girl when you already have a girl around your arm -- I really hate when guys do this. So much. It's disgusting. Do you think girls are flattered to see someone who can't even respect the girl he's with checking them out? I find it to be a huge turnoff. Oh yeah...and this should go without saying, but don't try to talk to the girl you're checking out when your girlfriend is trailing behind you. We can see your girlfriend. Just because you want her to be invisible, doesn't mean she is.


Look but dont' touch is the rule in most relationships...you already admit it's flaterring to be looked at if it's within your acceptable limits. Guys like to look at girls, even if they love their gfs.


I agree with 3,4 and to a certain degree 5. You should look presentable but I think your rules are a bit stringent, but I'll get to that





6. Complementing other girls doesn't mean you have to make yourself seem like a dumbass -- It's okay to complement that girl you're going after, but keep in mind that you're trying to IMPRESS the girl, not make her think she's better than you. As an example, here's a dialogue I had a few weeks ago with a guy:
Guy: "Wow! That's a big book! How long does it take you to read something like that?"
Me: "Oh, I don't know...two weeks?"
Guy: "That's impressive! 'Cause when I go to the bookstore, I just get so intimidated by books like that!"

Do you see what I mean? Not impressive.





Guess what? Many guys don't have the courage to be confident around a girl they find attractive. In fact, it might have taken all the courage in their low balance confidence account to even come up to you and strike up conversation. He may deperecate himself to demonstrate he's humble or not a cocky asshole and non threatening. Your post sounds like you have little tolerance for someone who made an effort to get to know you and didn't measure up. Many guys have no clue about what makes a particular girl impressed, so maybe you shouldn't just write one off so quickly.





7. Don't be uptight and anal - I don't know about other girls but I think it's the hugest turnoff when a guy gets so uptight about everything he owns. For example...if he brings you into his house and has to rearrange the rug every time you step on it...it's just not good. The girl (and most people) won't notice or care if the rug is a little bit ruffled. It's just annoying when they have to worry about every little thing they do when they're at your house.




I agree it is annoying, but somtimes it goes back to impressing you. 9 out of 10 he prolly had a nasty bachelor pad before you got there and is overcompensating to show you he can be domestic and not to scare you away with his bathroom fungi.





8. Don't brag -- It makes you seem desperate and insecure - like you're trying way too hard. Don't pick up heavy objects and tell her how much they weigh. Don't tell her how much everything in your apartment is worth. If she likes how your apartment looks or admires your big arms, she'll be impressed. She won't need you to point them out to her.





well this also goes back to insecurity. I agree braggadocio is universally annoying, but probalby more so to someone who has little tolerance for insecurity.




I put these two paragraphs together for a reason;





1. Don't stare at a girl like a piece of meat -- As Maleficient said, there's a huge difference between appreciative glances and staring at a girl like you're a dog with a piece of raw meat danging in front of you. I have to admit, it's nice and flattering to have a guy glance at you a few times and maybe even smile....but it's disgusting when a guy is practically drooling as he looks at you. There's a huge difference. Learn it.




And this last thing...It's more of a personal thing. Maybe other girls don't mind it that much. But here it goes:
8. I hate it when men who are clearly 20+ years older than me approach me. If they were good looking and confident, I might not mind...but more often than not, they're either these wimpy little pasty guys or they're just nasty and out of shape. And....more often than not, they do one of the things above. I amost find it insulting. A lot of times after one of these encounters, I'll find myself walking away almost angry or wondering why he thought that I was in his league. This is going to sound incredibely bitchy...but if you know you're out of shape/ugly, 40+ years old, and haven't had a long term relationship since college, maybe you should stop hitting on 20 year olds and start trying to get someone in your league.





League? And you wonder why we call it a Game.




You say not to treat you like a piece of meat, but your last paragraph does this exact thing. If I'm not Filet Mignon you think I shouldn't waste your time, being a nasty old Rump Roast. However with the correct "seasoning" (intelligence, etc) a rump roast can be far more rich than that pretty Filet Mignon. Whatever happened to love conquers all? What happened to X doesn't matter if you love the person? You say lacking confidence is unattractive, tho your last statement is very judgmental and incendiary. I mean why would a guy have confidence reading things like this? Knowing many attractive women like yourself (assuming here) are running down their reject checklist the whole time they talk to you it's no wonder guys have trouble even approaching you and then you act like your life was interrupted by their very attempt?


I'm very hard to offend, but this is offensive and ridiculous to me. If a woman with big rosacea scars and bad clothes and a missing arm came up to me and started hitting on me, I wouldn't turn my nose up and be offended at her jump from AAA ball to the All-Stars. I would at least give her a chance, and if I wasn't attracted to her I might just gain a good person as a friend. Who knows, I might actually see past her crappy headgear and her ratty old catcher's mitt and put her on my team for awhile.




Cliff notes: Don't be so judgmental of men with low confidence- it doesn't help. And I hope you don't miss your soulmate becuase he wasn't wearing bacon.








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Last edited by Holo; 07-30-2004 at 06:03 PM..
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Old 07-30-2004, 08:07 PM   #16 (permalink)
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A tad too agresive there.

[edit]

Actually Trisk, that comment was aimed at Holo.

Last edited by Mantus; 07-30-2004 at 09:10 PM..
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Old 07-30-2004, 09:08 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Your right, I may have been a little bit too aggressive on some of my points but...most women *will* tell you that confidence is one of the most attractive things in a man. "Nice guys" always complain that they don't get the girls....and people always respond with "well that's because most people who call themselves nice guys lack confidence."
All I'm saying here is that you don't have to be an asshole or a "bad boy" to get the girls. Just show some confidence, be curteous, and try not to make yourself look like an ass.

I have liked guys that aren't considered "hotties" by most people...but I find it funny that a guy is telling me to stop caring about what men look like. Girls are the ones always saying that to men. Girls are the ones put in video games with basically no clothes on. Girls in pretty much no clothing are everywhere. In relationships, you're not only looking for a companion. You're looking for a sexual partner. I find it very hard to be aroused by someone who's body does not appeal to me. I work hard to look how I look....what would appeal to me about a man who couldn't do the same?
While I don't want guys to look at me like a piece of meat, that doesn't mean I don't expect them to like my body as a huge part of my appealing factor. But it's unseemly to stare at a girl and drool. Just because you enjoy your filet mignon doesn't mean you're going to sit there, pick it up with your hands, and gobble it down with your mouth opened.


I dunno...like I said, I did get a bit aggressive there...but I think you were picking apart what I said too much. A guy basically saying he can't read isn't going to impress anyone. I understand that it's hard to know exactly what to do and when....but there are some things you should clearly not do.
Even though you have said I might be a little bit harsh, you didn't say that I was wrong and that those things weren't annoying at all. So I think my point was taken. This isn't the "what makes you never want to talk to a person again" thread...it's the "what bothers you about men" thread. I said what bothered me. That's it. Not everyone has to agree with me. But it's not going to change because someone said they're a little bit harsh.


*edit* And the becoming friends with random people who approach me thing doesn't exactly work. It's hard to be friends with a guy who's wanted to get into your pants from the moment he met you. In my experience, relationships like don't usually end well.
And when you're in a city full of people and you're approached probably 10 times a day during your normal activities, you can't just stop and chat and try to be friends with every guy you meet. Eventually, you just start to avoid certain things.
However...provided the guy is comes up to me in, let's say, a bookstore (and not in the middle of the street when I'm in a hurry) and initiates a conversation...I won't just get up and walk away. I will usually sit there and chat for a bit and not take it any further if I'm not interested. Despite what I sound like here, I'm not a complete bitch to every guy I come across.

Last edited by Trisk; 07-30-2004 at 09:14 PM..
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Old 07-30-2004, 09:16 PM   #18 (permalink)
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I totally agree with Holo on that last one

touche' Trisk, and I agree with you on some of your points, but here's a question: when would you consider a guy? (part of my problem is simply finding women decent enough *personality wise and yes, I do mean in appearances a bit as well* to even approach) How would you rather one approach you?
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Old 07-30-2004, 09:22 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Everyone has their own annoyances, and she's just stating hers.. No need to jmup all over her.

Having said that, I do agree with Holo in that many guys use up all of their reserve courage just to initiate conversation.
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Old 07-30-2004, 09:29 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Props to Holo. I totally agree with everything he said and, on a side note...

A mandatory $30 for jeans?! I don't think I've EVER paid that much for a pair of pants in my life that were not meant to be worn with a suit or tuxedo. Come on now, why does it matter if the clothes are inexpensive, just so long as they look good on him? We all can't be spending our weekly incomes on pieces of fabric (and yes, that's all clothes are to me - stuff to keep me from indency). To be honest with you - I feel just as secure - and look just as good - in a $12 button down black shirt and $16 khaki pants as in many $500 suits. It's all about wearing what's best for you.
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Old 07-30-2004, 09:35 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Three little words....

"Did you cum?"

Darlin' if you have to ask... I think there's a tiny problem...

But points for the concern...
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Old 07-30-2004, 09:40 PM   #22 (permalink)
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I have been told by some women that what drives them nuts about some men is that most men are dense, thick-headed, and to a degree, clueless when it comes to some of the cues and "green lights" that women give them.
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Old 07-30-2004, 09:45 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Toecutter
I have been told by some women that what drives them nuts about some men is that most men are dense, thick-headed, and to a degree, clueless when it comes to some of the cues and "green lights" that women give them.
That goes hand in hand with the guys "head games" complaint.

Just say what you want... Women know that men are sometimes, while adorable, as dumb as a box of rocks, they need to be told...
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Old 07-30-2004, 09:50 PM   #24 (permalink)
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What is obvious to you isn't obvious to us. That doesn't mean men are "as dumb as a box of rocks."
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Old 07-30-2004, 09:54 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Spitting.
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Old 07-30-2004, 09:54 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Carn
What is obvious to you isn't obvious to us. That doesn't mean men are "as dumb as a box of rocks."
I forgot the smilie - I said that with a great deal of affection

but rather tha playing games - and hinting around - just say what you want already ( A colleague drives me nuts because she complains that her boyfriend never brings her flowers, when I asked her if she asked him to , she said, no, he should just know.)
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Old 07-30-2004, 10:13 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by maleficent
Three little words....

"Did you cum?"

Darlin' if you have to ask... I think there's a tiny problem...

But points for the concern...
Quote:
Originally posted by wonderwench
Spitting.
Quote:
Originally posted by maleficent
a backwards baseball cap, t-shirt and scruffy, saggy in the butt jeans, while an absolutely adorable look on Saturday afternoon, Dinner out, requires a little more thought in to wardrobe choices.
These are the three things in this thread that I, being male, would not dispute under any circumstances (unless I'm spitting out a bug that flew into my mouth, in which case there's probably bigger concerns at hand than worrying about annoying people aorund me by spitting.)
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Old 07-30-2004, 10:16 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by TM875
Props to Holo. I totally agree with everything he said and, on a side note...

A mandatory $30 for jeans?! I don't think I've EVER paid that much for a pair of pants in my life that were not meant to be worn with a suit or tuxedo. Come on now, why does it matter if the clothes are inexpensive, just so long as they look good on him? We all can't be spending our weekly incomes on pieces of fabric (and yes, that's all clothes are to me - stuff to keep me from indency). To be honest with you - I feel just as secure - and look just as good - in a $12 button down black shirt and $16 khaki pants as in many $500 suits. It's all about wearing what's best for you.
*sigh* I'm not saying it's manditory. I just figured that since it seems to be a pretty normal price for jeans, it was a good price to quote. I've spent $40-50 on jeans that fit me well just because I know that I get the best use out of jeans that I like. However...I've been to outlet malls where I bought jeans I liked for $20. I'm not writing these in stones people.

The point of even going over that was so people would know that you don't need to spend crazy money on clothes, but you shouldn't try to cut corners when it comes to looking presentable. You normally get what you pay for. However...if a cheap clothing line looks good on you, by all means, get it. Everyone's body is different. I have no idea where you shop but I wouldn't point any guy in the direction of, let's say, Conway or K-mart to get nice clothes. Hell, you can find some fabulous but cheap things at thrift stores. Go there if you want to. I don't care. But don't get fake leather coats and think you're fooling anyone.
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Old 07-31-2004, 05:36 AM   #29 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Carn
What is obvious to you isn't obvious to us.
I think it's useful to say exactly why that is. One woman's obvious hint could be completely innocent to another. It usually takes a long time to know exactly where a particular woman's boundaries are. And we're usually afraid of taking things the wrong way and hurting you .
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Old 07-31-2004, 07:55 AM   #30 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by NeoSparky
A good female friend of mine told me one to add.. she's not on this forum... She said she hates it when guys rub their cock on her when their horny..

personally, I've never done this.
Sheesh, just goes to show it's different for everyone. Both of my ex's loved that, they'd jump on me immediately if we were at home- in public, who knows what would happen. Instant 110% horniness from them. Awesome.
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Old 07-31-2004, 08:58 AM   #31 (permalink)
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Guys, we have our own thread. I know these issues have to be dealt with but how about letting the ladies lay some more on the table before jumping all over them. At the moment the ratio of complaints betweent the two threads is 10:1.
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Old 07-31-2004, 11:01 AM   #32 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by maleficent
Three little words....

"Did you cum?"

Darlin' if you have to ask... I think there's a tiny problem...

But points for the concern...
ha ha h ahahahahahahahah........heheheheheheheh LMAO!


Well Put!
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Old 07-31-2004, 11:31 AM   #33 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Trisk
Your right, I may have been a little bit too aggressive on some of my points but...most women *will* tell you that confidence is one of the most attractive things in a man. "Nice guys" always complain that they don't get the girls....and people always respond with "well that's because most people who call themselves nice guys lack confidence."
All I'm saying here is that you don't have to be an asshole or a "bad boy" to get the girls. Just show some confidence, be curteous, and try not to make yourself look like an ass.


First off, I want to say I wasn't trying to attack you in my previous post...I was reacting, albeit a little testily, to an attitude I have seen from many women. Obviously I've been that guy on several occasions and I know how hard it can be to talk to someone who society says is outta your league. In fact, a guy's "league" is even lower to himself in his head than it actually is a lot of the time. Men in general dont' get the little ego boosts that attractive women do, in fact they're practically invisible or relegated to nice guy status which is basicaly romantic/ sexual death. This serves to split these guys into two main camps; The leering, drooling asssholes who know they can't get you and decide to be an ass about it, and the guys who screw up all the courage they can muster to at least take a shot and come off as a dork, etc. Many ppl aren't too confident under the "mask" you wear in life, and some have even less confidence than usual. All I was saying is realize if a guy is being dorky it's because he may not be a Don Juan like Plan9 is.



I have liked guys that aren't considered "hotties" by most people...but I find it funny that a guy is telling me to stop caring about what men look like. Girls are the ones always saying that to men. Girls are the ones put in video games with basically no clothes on. Girls in pretty much no clothing are everywhere. In relationships, you're not only looking for a companion. You're looking for a sexual partner.


Exactly. Guys need to stop being expected to not be what they are. We are sexual beings that need a physical component to cement intimacy in a relationship. Of course men vary, but most of us need a sexual component in a relationship and I don't find it unfair to expect that. We all have expectations of our partners male and female, and as a man if sex suffers so does my level of intmate connection to my partner.



As for your first part, I don't care about looks in the context of sex/relationships for the most part. Of course I like the look of a "hottie" but I believe it's more conditioning than personal prefs as I am attracted to many shapes sizes and levels of hotness IRL. I know I'm in the minority of males and it's prolly because I'm not quite perfect myself, but I understand rejection and the pain involved with being rejected. I personally don't believe in rejecting ppl just because I dont' personally find them attractive. The movie Baby Cakes comes to mind if you've ever seen it . I figured I have nothing to lose by giving them a chance. Plus I have a better chance of making a friend out of someone that doesn't work out than you do admittedly.



I find it very hard to be aroused by someone who's body does not appeal to me. I work hard to look how I look....what would appeal to me about a man who couldn't do the same?
While I don't want guys to look at me like a piece of meat, that doesn't mean I don't expect them to like my body as a huge part of my appealing factor. But it's unseemly to stare at a girl and drool. Just because you enjoy your filet mignon doesn't mean you're going to sit there, pick it up with your hands, and gobble it down with your mouth opened.


As I said above, the drooling type are either immature or bitter since they know you'd never give them the time of day. That said, you can't judge all men from those types. You may put a lot of effort into your looks, but all men are trained to like the societal ideal, regardless of how they look or their level of self-effort. Shallow Hal comes to mind. An average looking dorky guy has to have a hottie because he's been told to by society and doesn't look at the real person behind someone who isn't society's ideal. We all want something beautful, no lie there. And if you're close to ideal, then you have expect attention from all factions of men. If you choose a hardbody guy becuase you like them, fine. I'm just saying don't think in terms of leagues when a guy you don't find attractive or a dorky guy tries to make conversation. They are ppl too, and have feelings they've put on the line to talk to you in the first place. They're living on the hope you'll overlook the obvious and give them a chance. Just something to consider.




I dunno...like I said, I did get a bit aggressive there...but I think you were picking apart what I said too much. A guy basically saying he can't read isn't going to impress anyone. I understand that it's hard to know exactly what to do and when....but there are some things you should clearly not do.
Even though you have said I might be a little bit harsh, you didn't say that I was wrong and that those things weren't annoying at all. So I think my point was taken. This isn't the "what makes you never want to talk to a person again" thread...it's the "what bothers you about men" thread. I said what bothered me. That's it. Not everyone has to agree with me. But it's not going to change because someone said they're a little bit harsh.



I'm not trying to derail the thread...just responding to something I felt needed to be addressed. And I did agree to some of your points. My main concern is the caste attitude your post displayed in regard to men who aren't drooling pricks and try to talk to you. I would be more concerned at the feelings the person risked to talk to me, provided they weren't lewd or crude to me, than I would anger at them wasting my time because they'weren't a Social Brahmin. Untouchables need love too, and while it's not your duty, at least consider the human behind the not so attractive exterior.



*edit* And the becoming friends with random people who approach me thing doesn't exactly work. It's hard to be friends with a guy who's wanted to get into your pants from the moment he met you. In my experience, relationships like don't usually end well.


I have the advantage here as a male. You can become friends with girls that hit on you , it's just rare since girls usually never hit on men.




And when you're in a city full of people and you're approached probably 10 times a day during your normal activities, you can't just stop and chat and try to be friends with every guy you meet. Eventually, you just start to avoid certain things.
However...provided the guy is comes up to me in, let's say, a bookstore (and not in the middle of the street when I'm in a hurry) and initiates a conversation...I won't just get up and walk away. I will usually sit there and chat for a bit and not take it any further if I'm not interested. Despite what I sound like here, I'm not a complete bitch to every guy I come across.


Assuming you are that attractive (that's not an insult, I just don't know) I can't say I feel too sympathetic. Sorry, I would love girls to bother me all day because they found me attractive. It's just the price you pay for being beautiful I suppose. Would you rather know the reality of obscurity that a acne-scarred face and a big belly could provide you?I didn't think so.


cliff notes: Men are human too, tho they don't always act like it. Men have feelings. Beauty has a price as does ugliness.





Sorry, wrote another book.
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Old 07-31-2004, 11:44 AM   #34 (permalink)
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Male looking syndrome: the inability to locate objects in plain view.
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Old 07-31-2004, 12:02 PM   #35 (permalink)
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I wish that guys wouldn't assume that we're mad just because we're being quiet. When I'm quiet it just means I'm not interested in talking right now. I also hate when guys think that girls are less superior because we're girls. For the most part, girls can do just about anything guys can do, we're not wimps.
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Old 08-01-2004, 06:19 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Dirty underwear on the floor...thinking fart jokes are funny..they're not!
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Old 08-01-2004, 06:50 PM   #37 (permalink)
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Old 08-01-2004, 07:18 PM   #38 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Blonddie
thinking fart jokes are funny..they're not!
Awwwwww.... come on.... fart jokes are hysterical.... the first time anyhow --
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Old 08-01-2004, 08:41 PM   #39 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by lurkette
Male looking syndrome: the inability to locate objects in plain view.
Hahaha. this is actually my chief complaint about women!!
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Old 08-02-2004, 05:20 AM   #40 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by maleficent
Three little words....

"Did you cum?"

Darlin' if you have to ask... I think there's a tiny problem...

But points for the concern...
Bleh, that outlook is not cool.

If you're with someone for a long time, and you're STILL asking then, ok maybe that's a problem, but otherwise, you should be happy the guy just didn't roll over and didn't care wether you got yours. Ladies, now if you're living together or married... I tend to agree that the issue should have already come up and the guy should know... otherwise:

Sometimes it's not exactly obvious that the girl has an orgasm. I dated a girl for a while that wasn't a moaner and she would basically just shut her eyes and hold her breath without even a whimper. She swore she was having mind numbing orgasms and that she occasionally would almost black out. When we first started, I had no idea whether she was or wasn't, until I knew her better. Of course I asked, becuase I cared. Another girl I've dated made so much noise and moaned so often, it was hard to tell which one was the one!

Girls ALWAYS complain about lack of communication in the bedroom, well it's because of pretenses like this that say the man should automatically know exactly how to please you and if they don't, well "Darlin' if you have to ask...."

Basically, I'm sorry, but if you don't get off in an obvious manner (I.E. noise of some type that is different or more intense than the OTHER noises you make) then you'll need to excuse the guys asking for at least a while. And you should be friggin happy the guy is 1. concerned enough to ask 2. has the courage to ask because 3. if you didn't, that means he wanted you to, and will do what it takes to get you there HINT HINT HINT.

This is a pretty long winded rant about one simple question, but jeeze, it's annoying to see such a two-faced approach to the issue. Communication in the bedroom is a GOOD thing (tm).

Last edited by thed00t; 08-02-2004 at 05:40 AM..
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