Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Girls, What bothers you the most about guys?

Holo · 07-30-2004, 06:00 PM

Disclaimer; This is not an attack on this poster, it is a response to something I felt needed addressing.

Quote:

Originally posted by Trisk
Bah, I can't remember half of what I typed before but I'm typing up as much of it as I can remember

Some of this stuff will be shockingly obvious. But...most of these things are not rare, so I thought I might as well let you guys know how very, very annoying they are.

2. Don't stare at a girl when you already have a girl around your arm -- I really hate when guys do this. So much. It's disgusting. Do you think girls are flattered to see someone who can't even respect the girl he's with checking them out? I find it to be a huge turnoff. Oh yeah...and this should go without saying, but don't try to talk to the girl you're checking out when your girlfriend is trailing behind you. We can see your girlfriend. Just because you want her to be invisible, doesn't mean she is.

Look but dont' touch is the rule in most relationships...you already admit it's flaterring to be looked at if it's within your acceptable limits. Guys like to look at girls, even if they love their gfs.

I agree with 3,4 and to a certain degree 5. You should look presentable but I think your rules are a bit stringent, but I'll get to that

6. Complementing other girls doesn't mean you have to make yourself seem like a dumbass -- It's okay to complement that girl you're going after, but keep in mind that you're trying to IMPRESS the girl, not make her think she's better than you. As an example, here's a dialogue I had a few weeks ago with a guy:
Guy: "Wow! That's a big book! How long does it take you to read something like that?"
Me: "Oh, I don't know...two weeks?"
Guy: "That's impressive! 'Cause when I go to the bookstore, I just get so intimidated by books like that!"

Do you see what I mean? Not impressive.

Guess what? Many guys don't have the courage to be confident around a girl they find attractive. In fact, it might have taken all the courage in their low balance confidence account to even come up to you and strike up conversation. He may deperecate himself to demonstrate he's humble or not a cocky asshole and non threatening. Your post sounds like you have little tolerance for someone who made an effort to get to know you and didn't measure up. Many guys have no clue about what makes a particular girl impressed, so maybe you shouldn't just write one off so quickly.

7. Don't be uptight and anal - I don't know about other girls but I think it's the hugest turnoff when a guy gets so uptight about everything he owns. For example...if he brings you into his house and has to rearrange the rug every time you step on it...it's just not good. The girl (and most people) won't notice or care if the rug is a little bit ruffled. It's just annoying when they have to worry about every little thing they do when they're at your house.

I agree it is annoying, but somtimes it goes back to impressing you. 9 out of 10 he prolly had a nasty bachelor pad before you got there and is overcompensating to show you he can be domestic and not to scare you away with his bathroom fungi.

8. Don't brag -- It makes you seem desperate and insecure - like you're trying way too hard. Don't pick up heavy objects and tell her how much they weigh. Don't tell her how much everything in your apartment is worth. If she likes how your apartment looks or admires your big arms, she'll be impressed. She won't need you to point them out to her.

well this also goes back to insecurity. I agree braggadocio is universally annoying, but probalby more so to someone who has little tolerance for insecurity.

I put these two paragraphs together for a reason;

1. Don't stare at a girl like a piece of meat -- As Maleficient said, there's a huge difference between appreciative glances and staring at a girl like you're a dog with a piece of raw meat danging in front of you. I have to admit, it's nice and flattering to have a guy glance at you a few times and maybe even smile....but it's disgusting when a guy is practically drooling as he looks at you. There's a huge difference. Learn it.

And this last thing...It's more of a personal thing. Maybe other girls don't mind it that much. But here it goes:
8. I hate it when men who are clearly 20+ years older than me approach me. If they were good looking and confident, I might not mind...but more often than not, they're either these wimpy little pasty guys or they're just nasty and out of shape. And....more often than not, they do one of the things above. I amost find it insulting. A lot of times after one of these encounters, I'll find myself walking away almost angry or wondering why he thought that I was in his league. This is going to sound incredibely bitchy...but if you know you're out of shape/ugly, 40+ years old, and haven't had a long term relationship since college, maybe you should stop hitting on 20 year olds and start trying to get someone in your league.

League? And you wonder why we call it a Game.

You say not to treat you like a piece of meat, but your last paragraph does this exact thing. If I'm not Filet Mignon you think I shouldn't waste your time, being a nasty old Rump Roast. However with the correct "seasoning" (intelligence, etc) a rump roast can be far more rich than that pretty Filet Mignon. Whatever happened to love conquers all? What happened to X doesn't matter if you love the person? You say lacking confidence is unattractive, tho your last statement is very judgmental and incendiary. I mean why would a guy have confidence reading things like this? Knowing many attractive women like yourself (assuming here) are running down their reject checklist the whole time they talk to you it's no wonder guys have trouble even approaching you and then you act like your life was interrupted by their very attempt?

I'm very hard to offend, but this is offensive and ridiculous to me. If a woman with big rosacea scars and bad clothes and a missing arm came up to me and started hitting on me, I wouldn't turn my nose up and be offended at her jump from AAA ball to the All-Stars. I would at least give her a chance, and if I wasn't attracted to her I might just gain a good person as a friend. Who knows, I might actually see past her crappy headgear and her ratty old catcher's mitt and put her on my team for awhile.

Cliff notes: Don't be so judgmental of men with low confidence- it doesn't help. And I hope you don't miss your soulmate becuase he wasn't wearing bacon.