06-18-2004, 05:23 AM | #1 (permalink) |
Is In Love
Location: I'm workin' on it
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What do you look for in a mate?
Another thread had me thinking about this. What are the traits that you would want as an ideal mate?
I'm not talking about physical. Keep that out of it for now. Lets just assume this person is ideal in the physical realm for you. Now, what would make him/her your Perfect Mate? I'll post mine a bit later. I'll have to think about it
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Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great. |
06-18-2004, 05:31 AM | #2 (permalink) |
Junkie
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
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This is the short list...
Warped, sarcastic sense of humor Can take a joke Can laugh at himself and my stupidity Can aim while using the toilet Intelligence - this is somewhat vague, they don't have to finish the NY Times Sunday crossword puzzle in ink in 10 minutes, but they should be up on current events, know what's going on in the world, has read a book or three in his life, can watch movies other than the Three Stooges, but the Three Stooges are OK too. Is familiar with the concept of bringing flowers for no occassion Remembering birthdays I could care less about, I don't remember my own, and I surely won't remember his. Be spontaneous but also be able to plan as well. Hate to shop (I do) Share the comics and the sports page Mets fan, Red socks, Cowboys fan? Take a walk. Communicative - but not to the point where he tells me all about how Mrs Grabowski in 2nd grade would yell at him for not doing his homework. (In the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter) Ability to keep things in perspective Doesn't mind that I drink orange juice out of the carton and put it back. Belches louder than I do (i didnt just say that) It's no wonder why I'm still single....
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
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06-18-2004, 05:54 AM | #4 (permalink) | |
Junkie
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
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Quote:
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
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06-18-2004, 05:56 AM | #5 (permalink) |
Addict
Location: Native America
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witty with a great sense of humor
highly intelligent loves music and dancing dog lover (well all animals, really) compassionate about helping others and does volunteer work likes children and has a lot of patience with them good communicator who understands the intricacies of the female mind. Is as much of a neat freak as me, will pick up after himself, and will share the household chores 50/50. Likes to cook (because I don't and can't) I'm sure there's a lot more in my 'ideal' mate list, but this is all I could think of for now. And since I'm married, I bet you're wondering how close this is to primal's real qualities... about 75%.
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Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with. |
06-18-2004, 07:49 AM | #6 (permalink) |
Shade
Location: Belgium
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intelligence
sense of humor likes children, but doesn't worship them as demi-gods. not afraid to speak her mind in company has to like social gatherings has to like music open mind about things that other people do willingness to put up with my sorry ass That should be about it Oh and a good level of mental maturity can't hurt either!
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Moderation should be moderately moderated. |
06-18-2004, 07:56 AM | #8 (permalink) |
Thats MR. Muffin Face now
Location: Everywhere work sends me
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- Intelligence - I can't stand being around someone who I cant have conversations with or discuss with, let alone be with them as a mate
- Tolerance - Bigots need not apply - Warped sense of humor - If you can appreciate my humor, then you probably share in it - Sarcasm - see above - Patience - Im not an easy person to love.. I wont say why here, its something you have to want to hear to appreciate it. As long as she is patient everything should be okay. - able to appreciate the simpler things in life - This is an odd one. I like someone who can appreciate everything, someone who has had to work hard in life to get or keep what they have. Some previous girlfriends who have had everything handed to them has slightly tilted my view of them - oh yeah, and she has to like prime rib, steak, and cider or beer she has to like Christmas and outdoors and fireplaces.. theres alot
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"Life is possible only with illusions. And so, the question for the science of mental health must become an absolutely new and revolutionary one, yet one that reflects the essence of the human condition: On what level of illusion does one live?" -- Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death |
06-18-2004, 08:00 AM | #9 (permalink) |
Junkie
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
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Adding a few more:
Can admit they are wrong, when they are, and won't just say they are wrong to placate me. On those rare occassions when I am wrong, I don't want my nose rubbed in it 6 months down the road. Forgive and forget, and don't do it again NO WHINING... You get one opportunity to mention your troubles, but if you aren't going to do anything to change it, then forget it. Complaining about ones day is fine, occassionally, but chronicness about how your boss is a bastard and won't ever cut you a break -- find a new job already.
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
Last edited by maleficent; 06-18-2004 at 08:04 AM.. |
06-18-2004, 08:01 AM | #10 (permalink) | |
Is In Love
Location: I'm workin' on it
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Quote:
Great stuff here. I'm thinking about my list
__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great. |
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06-18-2004, 08:02 AM | #11 (permalink) | |
Shade
Location: Belgium
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Quote:
ooh, adding: good level of stubbornness... willing to see a discussion/argument through, and not just give up/in
__________________
Moderation should be moderately moderated. |
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06-18-2004, 08:32 AM | #13 (permalink) |
Filling the Void.
Location: California
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This is describing my boyfriend....buuuutttt...:
Someone who can love me for who I am (doesn't mind that I don't always shave my legs, and that I don't have perfect skin). Someone who gives me courage and confidence. Someone who will listen to me because I talk a ton too much. Someone who wants to be monogamous. Someone who has a different sense of humour. Someone who I can love. |
06-18-2004, 01:20 PM | #15 (permalink) | |
Banned
Location: Massachusetts, USA
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Quote:
What else? Must like cats. Prefer a Jewish woman. Should like genre fiction, preferably SF. Would be good if she was w/in 5 years + or - of my age. Must be patient. Other issues are hard to state in words. Last edited by denim; 06-18-2004 at 01:23 PM.. |
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06-18-2004, 08:01 PM | #19 (permalink) |
Junkie
Location: The Kitchen
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Independence. I want to be a part of someones life, not the nucleus of it.
Doesn't have to like my friends, but her ass'll hit the curb if she tries to keep me from them. Will have a glass of whiskey and a back rub ready for me if I've had a bad day. I'm always ready to pamper a damsel in distress, I expect the same when I need it. Someone who understands that "I don't want to talk about it right now" means "I'll tell you when I'm ready". There are a lot of things I'm not good at putting into words. When I know what I want to say, I'll say it. Until then, just relax. Either a similar set of values and morals, or at least a genuine acceptance of my morals without trying to change them. That's what I can think of for now. |
06-18-2004, 08:30 PM | #21 (permalink) |
I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot!
Location: Upper Michigan
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Confident
Humble Good Communicator (willing to listen and willing to express emotion at least verbally) Open Minded Creative Intelligent (IQ similar or greater than mine) Inquisitive Patient Generous Loves Me I guess I could say that hubby pretty well fits this. Maybe it was patterned after him but that's what I'd look for if he ever was gone from my life.
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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma. |
06-18-2004, 08:42 PM | #22 (permalink) |
Drifting
Administrator
Location: Windy City
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A good enough listener for two people
unique sense of humor, but knows when it's time to be serious Someone I can trust without question someone who can get excited over the little wonders of life- ( Ie dropping everything just to enjoy the sunset for a while with me) A strong sense of family, and the willingness to build one with me A love of nature and all things outdoors
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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna |
06-18-2004, 09:15 PM | #23 (permalink) |
My own person -- his by choice
Location: Lebell's arms
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Someone who never lies to me -- is always honest, even when it hurts
Someone who respects my independence Someone who has his own boundaries Someone who speaks his truth and hears my truth -- even if we agree to disagree Someone very intelligent (who can watch a movie without asking, "what's going on", can carry on a conversation, hold his own with me.) Someone who accepts (loves) my children Someone who turns me on sexually and celebrates my sexuality Someone who has just as much fun dressing up and going out on the town as hanging out at home, playing games with the kids, and watching videos Someone who will travel with me Someone who will dream with me Someone who will explore with me Someone who wants me for more than just my parenting skills Someone who shares the "workload" around the house Someone with pride Someone who is spiritual Someone who loves me for who I am and not what he thinks I can be Someone who's "warts" I can live with as I know I can't change him Someone who spoils me Someone who can dominate me, despite my strength, but not squelch me Someone who is committed to me and only me Someone who loves me!
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If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection. |
06-18-2004, 10:49 PM | #24 (permalink) |
The sky calls to us ...
Super Moderator
Location: CT
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-Intelligent
-Has a sense of humor (non-standard sense of humor a requirement, don't look at me funny when I tell an off-color joke) -Not prejudiced. Racial slurs, pool of insults entirely based on accusations of homosexuality, stuff like that, just forget it. Not worth my time. -Must like loud music. If you can't at least tolerate death metal, you're not going to have much fun when I turn on the music. -Not religious. If you're a churchgoing type of person, we're going to drive each other completely fucking insane. -Can understand that a male who likes cats and not dogs is not automatically gay. -Open-minded. Not just in bed (or wherever we may end up instead,) but in everyday life. Look at things in a new way, think outside the box. -Non-smoker. Cigars (occasionally) OK, cigs not. -Should not have a problem with drinking, although heavy drinking is not preferred. -Doesn't want to change me. I'll discard annoying habits, but if you look at me as a piece of clay to play with, you're looking at the wrong person -Be laid-back. Don't take things too seriosuly. Live life like you're here to have fun, not like you're here to do as much work as possible before you die. -Be fun, spontaneous, be willing to decide to go on vacation one day and leave two days later. Be willing to do stuff just for the sake of fun and without much planning. -Be touch-oriented. I'm not talking about the annoying touchyfeely couples who stop to make out and grope each other every ten feet in public (insert virtual kick-in-the-ass to my brother and his girlfriend here,) but it's nice to be with someone who likes physical contact, even when not connected to sex. A good example of this is that I'm extremely ticklish; one of my friends loves to prove that she can knock me over in just a few seconds even though I'm more than a foot taller than her. |
06-18-2004, 11:36 PM | #25 (permalink) |
Psycho
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I want a strong woman. I don't really mean physical strength more so I mean mentallly. I want someone who can think for herself. Someone I can desire physically. Someone with emotion and the desire to be loved. I want a woman that isn't afraid to say what she really wants, one that will talk when there are problems.. someone that wants things to work.
Love is Sexual, Mental, and Physical. I want all of those.
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Fetch me the spirit, the son and the father, Tell them their pillar of faith has ascended. |
06-19-2004, 11:06 AM | #29 (permalink) | |
The Original JizzSmacka
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Quote:
As for my prferred mate I look for: Love me for who I am. Compassionate. Intellectual. Open Minded. Sense of humor. Self Aware. Non-religious. Non-smoker. Sexual.
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Never date anyone who doesn't make your dick hard. |
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06-19-2004, 11:13 AM | #30 (permalink) | |
Crazy
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Quote:
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06-20-2004, 07:00 PM | #33 (permalink) |
Insane
Location: Ithaca, New York
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Preferably a physics/math/classics triple major
Someone who cares about the world, and actively works to make it better Someone who I can read the NY times with, and discuss the articles Someone who will watch spaceballs with me. Preferably, she's smarter than me.
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And if you say to me tomorrow, oh what fun it all would be. Then what's to stop us, pretty baby. But What Is And What Should Never Be. |
06-23-2004, 08:11 AM | #35 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: Dallas, Texas
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Must not like sports or be able to deal with the fact I'll have nothing to do with sports. (They just bore me.)
Must have a good sense of humour. Must like my kilt and endure my many Scottish activities. Intelligent. Able to stand alone, not one of those relationship jumpers but someone that has been alone and was strong and happy with that position. Likes Pink Floyd Should enjoy Sci-Fi and Ren Faires Be willing to work through hard times and not expect every day to be all sunshine and flowers. A good communicater. Non-religous. Non Smoker. Well read. Doesn't freak out when I need alone time. Puts up with my nutrition and work- out obsessions. No lies, no games. Dislikes the Bush administration. Drives a stick. Is passionate.
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Thousands of Monkeys, all screaming at once. Pulling God's finger. |
06-23-2004, 08:45 AM | #36 (permalink) | ||
Banned
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Can tolerate watching movies all the time, or understand that _I_ watch movies all the time.
MSD has been creeping around in my mind again... Quote:
I listen to industrial, metal, techno, trance, all at loud volumes. Quote:
I like giving masssages, and i'm realyl good at it. I'm not sure anyone would mind though. Also very important is a damn good sense of humor. I like to think i'm pretty damn funny, and I need an appreciation for my personality... even the occasional crude humor. - Understands i'm very much like a kid in many ways. I'm mature, yes, but I have many personality traits that are like a kid. Some girls think this is cute. I need one of those. |
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06-23-2004, 10:51 AM | #37 (permalink) |
Happy as a hippo
Location: Southern California
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Stability (career, residence, vehicle)
Good family values Likes Animals Ethical Considerate Must have grown up with sisters.
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"if anal sex could get a girl pregnant i'd be tits deep in child support" Arcane |
06-23-2004, 11:59 AM | #39 (permalink) |
Omnipotent Ruler Of The Tiny Universe In My Mind
Location: Oreegawn
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- A girl who is as smart or smarter than I am, and we can have conversations about everything or nothing at all, but we challenge each other intellectually.
- Loves music and theatre - Has as raunchy and morbid and peculiar a sense of humor as I do - Is charismatic and fun to be around. - Relaxed, doesn't stress out easily, just goes with the flow - Loves doggies - Who I feel completely comfortable saying anything around. - Likes to dress up and go out, but still enjoys just staying in and reading together, or watching a movie. - Loves physical contact, hand holding, hugging, anything. - Has a great, boistrous, obnoxious laugh that fills the room, just like me. - Is Open-minded - Loves people, and accepts everyone, and is very inclusive and rarely exclusive when it comes to get togethers.
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Words of Wisdom: If you could really get to know someone and know that they weren't lying to you, then you would know the world was real. Because you could agree on things, you could compare notes. That must be why people get married or make Art. So they'll be able to really know something and not go insane. |
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