What do you look for in a mate?
 

Another thread had me thinking about this. What are the traits that you would want as an ideal mate?

I'm not talking about physical. Keep that out of it for now. Lets just assume this person is ideal in the physical realm for you. Now, what would make him/her your Perfect Mate?

I'll post mine a bit later. I'll have to think about it :)

This is the short list...

Warped, sarcastic sense of humor
Can take a joke
Can laugh at himself and my stupidity
Can aim while using the toilet
Intelligence - this is somewhat vague, they don't have to finish the NY Times Sunday crossword puzzle in ink in 10 minutes, but they should be up on current events, know what's going on in the world, has read a book or three in his life, can watch movies other than the Three Stooges, but the Three Stooges are OK too.
Is familiar with the concept of bringing flowers for no occassion
Remembering birthdays I could care less about, I don't remember my own, and I surely won't remember his.
Be spontaneous but also be able to plan as well.
Hate to shop (I do)
Share the comics and the sports page
Mets fan, Red socks, Cowboys fan? Take a walk.
Communicative - but not to the point where he tells me all about how Mrs Grabowski in 2nd grade would yell at him for not doing his homework. (In the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter)
Ability to keep things in perspective
Doesn't mind that I drink orange juice out of the carton and put it back.
Belches louder than I do (i didnt just say that)

It's no wonder why I'm still single....

Maleficent,

"Ability to keep things in perspective"

This is key......

My list was in no particular order, well except for the Red Socks fan thing... But absolutely is probably the most important thing I'd look for in a person -- too often people just let little things get blown all out of proportion.

witty with a great sense of humor
highly intelligent
loves music and dancing
dog lover (well all animals, really)
compassionate about helping others and does volunteer work
likes children and has a lot of patience with them
good communicator who understands the intricacies of the female mind.
Is as much of a neat freak as me, will pick up after himself, and will share the household chores 50/50.
Likes to cook (because I don't and can't)

I'm sure there's a lot more in my 'ideal' mate list, but this is all I could think of for now. And since I'm married, I bet you're wondering how close this is to primal's real qualities... about 75%. ;)

intelligence
sense of humor
likes children, but doesn't worship them as demi-gods.
not afraid to speak her mind in company
has to like social gatherings
has to like music
open mind about things that other people do
willingness to put up with my sorry ass

That should be about it :)

Oh and a good level of mental maturity can't hurt either!

a man who understands that sometimes i like him more than i love him, and sometimes i love him more than i can say.

- Intelligence - I can't stand being around someone who I cant have conversations with or discuss with, let alone be with them as a mate
- Tolerance - Bigots need not apply
- Warped sense of humor - If you can appreciate my humor, then you probably share in it
- Sarcasm - see above
- Patience - Im not an easy person to love.. I wont say why here, its something you have to want to hear to appreciate it. As long as she is patient everything should be okay.
- able to appreciate the simpler things in life - This is an odd one. I like someone who can appreciate everything, someone who has had to work hard in life to get or keep what they have. Some previous girlfriends who have had everything handed to them has slightly tilted my view of them
- oh yeah, and she has to like prime rib, steak, and cider or beer ;) she has to like Christmas and outdoors and fireplaces..

theres alot ;)

Adding a few more:
Can admit they are wrong, when they are, and won't just say they are wrong to placate me.
On those rare occassions when I am wrong, I don't want my nose rubbed in it 6 months down the road.
Forgive and forget, and don't do it again

NO WHINING... You get one opportunity to mention your troubles, but if you aren't going to do anything to change it, then forget it. Complaining about ones day is fine, occassionally, but chronicness about how your boss is a bastard and won't ever cut you a break -- find a new job already.

Wow, that's pretty good...

Great stuff here. I'm thinking about my list :)

heh :D



ooh, adding:
good level of stubbornness... willing to see a discussion/argument through, and not just give up/in

This is describing my boyfriend....buuuutttt...:

Someone who can love me for who I am (doesn't mind that I don't always shave my legs, and that I don't have perfect skin).

Someone who gives me courage and confidence.

Someone who will listen to me because I talk a ton too much.

Someone who wants to be monogamous.

Someone who has a different sense of humour.

Someone who I can love.

The number one thing that I look for in a 'special person' is if she can be her 100% self around me, and I can be my 100% self around her. If that isn't the case, it will never work.

Good 'un. I find myself pushing others away often, usually because of that one criterium: if I can push 'em away by being "me", then let's get it over with quickly. If they don't go away at that point, I can put more into the relationship. Very few people stick through that, though. That's absolutely key. There have been times when the reverse hasn't worked, too, and I haven't stuck with a person.


What else?

Must like cats.
Prefer a Jewish woman.
Should like genre fiction, preferably SF.
Would be good if she was w/in 5 years + or - of my age.
Must be patient.

Other issues are hard to state in words.

(made an oopsie)

I'm looking for someone who I can make happy and who's cute and likes me.
that's a lot, I know!

Maleficent,

You just described my perfect woman :)

(especially the belching louder than me part heh)

Independence. I want to be a part of someones life, not the nucleus of it.
Doesn't have to like my friends, but her ass'll hit the curb if she tries to keep me from them.
Will have a glass of whiskey and a back rub ready for me if I've had a bad day. I'm always ready to pamper a damsel in distress, I expect the same when I need it.
Someone who understands that "I don't want to talk about it right now" means "I'll tell you when I'm ready". There are a lot of things I'm not good at putting into words. When I know what I want to say, I'll say it. Until then, just relax.
Either a similar set of values and morals, or at least a genuine acceptance of my morals without trying to change them.

That's what I can think of for now.

Extreme comfort on every level....It's wonderful to roam freely on a planet all our own.

Confident
Humble
Good Communicator (willing to listen and willing to express emotion at least verbally)
Open Minded
Creative
Intelligent (IQ similar or greater than mine)
Inquisitive
Patient
Generous

Loves Me

I guess I could say that hubby pretty well fits this. Maybe it was patterned after him but that's what I'd look for if he ever was gone from my life.

A good enough listener for two people ;)
unique sense of humor, but knows when it's time to be serious
Someone I can trust without question
someone who can get excited over the little wonders of life- ( Ie dropping everything just to enjoy the sunset for a while with me)
A strong sense of family, and the willingness to build one with me
A love of nature and all things outdoors

Someone who never lies to me -- is always honest, even when it hurts
Someone who respects my independence
Someone who has his own boundaries
Someone who speaks his truth and hears my truth -- even if we agree to disagree
Someone very intelligent (who can watch a movie without asking, "what's going on", can carry on a conversation, hold his own with me.)
Someone who accepts (loves) my children
Someone who turns me on sexually and celebrates my sexuality
Someone who has just as much fun dressing up and going out on the town as hanging out at home, playing games with the kids, and watching videos
Someone who will travel with me
Someone who will dream with me
Someone who will explore with me
Someone who wants me for more than just my parenting skills
Someone who shares the "workload" around the house
Someone with pride
Someone who is spiritual
Someone who loves me for who I am and not what he thinks I can be
Someone who's "warts" I can live with as I know I can't change him
Someone who spoils me
Someone who can dominate me, despite my strength, but not squelch me
Someone who is committed to me and only me
Someone who loves me!

-Intelligent
-Has a sense of humor (non-standard sense of humor a requirement, don't look at me funny when I tell an off-color joke)
-Not prejudiced. Racial slurs, pool of insults entirely based on accusations of homosexuality, stuff like that, just forget it. Not worth my time.
-Must like loud music. If you can't at least tolerate death metal, you're not going to have much fun when I turn on the music.
-Not religious. If you're a churchgoing type of person, we're going to drive each other completely fucking insane.
-Can understand that a male who likes cats and not dogs is not automatically gay.
-Open-minded. Not just in bed (or wherever we may end up instead,) but in everyday life. Look at things in a new way, think outside the box.
-Non-smoker. Cigars (occasionally) OK, cigs not.
-Should not have a problem with drinking, although heavy drinking is not preferred.
-Doesn't want to change me. I'll discard annoying habits, but if you look at me as a piece of clay to play with, you're looking at the wrong person
-Be laid-back. Don't take things too seriosuly. Live life like you're here to have fun, not like you're here to do as much work as possible before you die.
-Be fun, spontaneous, be willing to decide to go on vacation one day and leave two days later. Be willing to do stuff just for the sake of fun and without much planning.
-Be touch-oriented. I'm not talking about the annoying touchyfeely couples who stop to make out and grope each other every ten feet in public (insert virtual kick-in-the-ass to my brother and his girlfriend here,) but it's nice to be with someone who likes physical contact, even when not connected to sex. A good example of this is that I'm extremely ticklish; one of my friends loves to prove that she can knock me over in just a few seconds even though I'm more than a foot taller than her.

I want a strong woman. I don't really mean physical strength more so I mean mentallly. I want someone who can think for herself. Someone I can desire physically. Someone with emotion and the desire to be loved. I want a woman that isn't afraid to say what she really wants, one that will talk when there are problems.. someone that wants things to work.

Love is Sexual, Mental, and Physical. I want all of those.

Averett

I don't really have any particular things I look for in a girl, because I've been known to fall in love with completely different types of girls.

My Wfe

I believe these stats to be true.

As for my prferred mate I look for:

Love me for who I am.
Compassionate.
Intellectual.
Open Minded.
Sense of humor.
Self Aware.
Non-religious.
Non-smoker.
Sexual.

nope no cleverness was thought of it. I just posted my opinion regarding the subject. Instead of just deleting a post such as that why not ask why I feel the way I do.

Short hair
Small
Drinks
Smokes
Has a lot in common with me (ie music, movies, food, style)
And the most important one is... Passed out drunk

Well thanks :o

Preferably a physics/math/classics triple major
Someone who cares about the world, and actively works to make it better
Someone who I can read the NY times with, and discuss the articles
Someone who will watch spaceballs with me.
Preferably, she's smarter than me.

The secret is..........."Common Goals"

Must not like sports or be able to deal with the fact I'll have nothing to do with sports. (They just bore me.)
Must have a good sense of humour.
Must like my kilt and endure my many Scottish activities.
Intelligent.
Able to stand alone, not one of those relationship jumpers but someone that has been alone and was strong and happy with that position.
Likes Pink Floyd
Should enjoy Sci-Fi and Ren Faires
Be willing to work through hard times and not expect every day to be all sunshine and flowers.
A good communicater.
Non-religous.
Non Smoker.
Well read.
Doesn't freak out when I need alone time.
Puts up with my nutrition and work- out obsessions.
No lies, no games.
Dislikes the Bush administration.
Drives a stick.
Is passionate.

Can tolerate watching movies all the time, or understand that _I_ watch movies all the time.

MSD has been creeping around in my mind again...


I listen to industrial, metal, techno, trance, all at loud volumes.

Quote:

-Open-minded. Not just in bed (or wherever we may end up instead,) but in everyday life. Look at things in a new way, think outside the box. -Should not have a problem with drinking, although heavy drinking is not preferred. -Doesn't want to change me. I'll discard annoying habits, but if you look at me as a piece of clay to play with, you're looking at the wrong person -Be laid-back. Don't take things too seriosuly. Live life like you're here to have fun, not like you're here to do as much work as possible before you die. -Be fun, spontaneous, be willing to decide to go on vacation one day and leave two days later. Be willing to do stuff just for the sake of fun and without much planning. -Be touch-oriented. I'm not talking about the annoying touchyfeely couples who stop to make out and grope each other every ten feet in public (insert virtual kick-in-the-ass to my brother and his girlfriend here,) but it's nice to be with someone who likes physical contact, even when not connected to sex. A good example of this is that I'm extremely ticklish; one of my friends loves to prove that she can knock me over in just a few seconds even though I'm more than a foot taller than her.

I enjoy constant holding, wrapping my arms around her.
I like giving masssages, and i'm realyl good at it. I'm not sure anyone would mind though.

Also very important is a damn good sense of humor. I like to think i'm pretty damn funny, and I need an appreciation for my personality... even the occasional crude humor. :)
- Understands i'm very much like a kid in many ways. I'm mature, yes, but I have many personality traits that are like a kid. Some girls think this is cute. I need one of those.

Stability (career, residence, vehicle)
Good family values
Likes Animals
Ethical
Considerate
Must have grown up with sisters.

a pulse

- A girl who is as smart or smarter than I am, and we can have conversations about everything or nothing at all, but we challenge each other intellectually.
- Loves music and theatre
- Has as raunchy and morbid and peculiar a sense of humor as I do
- Is charismatic and fun to be around.
- Relaxed, doesn't stress out easily, just goes with the flow
- Loves doggies
- Who I feel completely comfortable saying anything around.
- Likes to dress up and go out, but still enjoys just staying in and reading together, or watching a movie.
- Loves physical contact, hand holding, hugging, anything.
- Has a great, boistrous, obnoxious laugh that fills the room, just like me.
- Is Open-minded
- Loves people, and accepts everyone, and is very inclusive and rarely exclusive when it comes to get togethers.

Intelligence, compassion and a sense of humour.