timalkin

I'm sure that many of you have had various significant others that just didn't work out. What were the reasons why the relationship did not continue?

My story is basically covered in my first thread, definitely buried by now.

anti fishstick

1st- came out of nowhere. i had no clue he was going to dump me and didnt see it coming. it was a 'mutual' agreement but only bcos i'm agreeable..

2nd- ambiguous relationship. never knew what we were. he introduced me as "my friend..." yet we'd hold hands, cuddle and kiss. then he later tells me he has a girlfriend. asshole.

3rd- couldn't handle a relationship. wasn't willing to work to make things work. he initiated the breakup but i was going to do it anyway. made it easier for me.. said he saw it coming. of course he did, a lot of his (non)actions lead to it. still won't fess up to his mistakes or take responsibility for his actions. "i am the way i am". irritating.

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And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~Anais Nin

SAM821

wow... i can take up 10 pages of why my relationships ended... some my faults and some not...

I guess i can focus on two of my serious ones (1 year relationship with each girl):

the first serious one I guess we broke up because of the immaturity that significantly surfaced (on both our parts)... it was tough because she was my first love, unfortunately when we start our relationship she was 15 and i was 17... naturally we were both very young, and needless to say it cause ALOT of problems.... lots of fighting over STUPID stuff, we didnt know how to handle certain situations, selfishness... and the worst thing was that she cheated on me.... well in the end i was 18 and headed to college and she was 16 and still in high school, i left about 600 miles away for school and she stayed home... she didnt want to wait for me so she dumped me... and a TON of anger and problems surface between us for that.... (long story)

My second serious relationship actually JUST ended... the good thing about this one was that we started off as JUST friends... nothing more.... and eventually we began to date... well the problems that surfaced were mostly miscommunication... BIG PROBLEM.. we just werent on the same page.. and it turned out to be a disaster.....

the list can go on with problems that will lead to break up... you have to be a VERY lucky man to find that special someone on your first or second try... sometimes it takes ALOT more tries than that (as i am finding out)

you learn to have to be confident with someone, you need to TRUST them... you MUST be 100% compatible... because if not the relationship may go sour one day... you MUST COMMUNICATE.... this is so important so there arent any misunderstandings....RESPECT each other.... if your Morals arent compatible then it wont work (i.e. Religion, Children, politics, Ethnicity & Family....etc).....

Most importantly... you must decipher the difference between TRUE LOVE and lust (puppy love)..... in the beginning you may not be able to tell the difference, but after being with that person for a LONG time you will know for sure if you LOVE them or it was just a fling....

Break ups naturally just occur when two people just arent meant for each other....

but dont worry, stay strong and let that special someone come to you, dont look for them cause you'll find them

Averett

My only break up came about cause he cheated. Long and fucked up story.

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Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

SAM821

i can never cheat on someone (too much guilt will surface).... its a horrible thing to be cheated on (i know from experiance).... if you dont love the person or you never did, then just break up with them, why cheat?

thats a good reason for a breakup...

OFKU0

Just going in different directions,wanting different things,having different opinions on life. Acting like brother and sister.

I think that is the last step before outright resentment and not wanting to even see the other person.Beyond that you lose all sense of compassion for that person.

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" In Canada, you can tell the most blatant lie in a calm voice, and people will believe you over someone who's a little passionate about the truth." David Warren, Western Standard.

Zorvox

1st - I was 15, she was 17.. weird hey? We were intiment a condom decided to break, about 1 1/2 months later she just does a runner and noone hears from her at all. I loved her and she broke my heart..

2nd - Things were going good we loved one another (her saying she loved me was a pretty big thing cos of some confusion) she told me she loves me, 2 days later she says that I am treating her like crap and she isn't happy with me, so she breaks it off and won't speak to me at all, saying im not a nice person etc..

I thought I loved the first girl, but.. the 2nd relationship I was in, I just kept falling deeper and deeper in love with her, I feel like it went past love, but I don't know what it was.. it's almost killed me..

But during the 2nd relationship the 1st girl I was with, decides to come back and say your a father here is your daughter blah blah blah, sorry for leaving you it was the worse decision of my life... so we sorted stuff out and yeah.

chrisg299

Damn kid :-/ thats sad and sucks at the same time, hope you're doin better now :-D girls will always be there, just gotta find the one you always wanna be with sounds so damn easy but in reality it's a pain in the ass ain't it?lol

la petite moi

1st- Wasn't really something to talk about. Me = 14. Him=15. Yeaaaaah, you get the point. He was horny.

2nd- Long relationship but he couldn't bear the fact that I was so self-degrading. Broke up with me, but regretted it and we're still friends.

3rd- Same thing. He couldn't deal with relationship stress. I'm a sucky girlfriend 'cos I complain a lot. We still talk though...

Current relationship = YAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

anti fishstick

haha. i've been told that too.. don't talk to him anymore. blocked him off my aim list won't have the guts to call or try to contact me, since he never did anyway. i've the upper hand here. will probably talk to him again once i figure my own shit out.. and not be tempted to go back out of insecurity.. :T

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And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~Anais Nin

Loup

One was because she left for school, we tried the distance thing ... but to no avail.

Two were mutual - in both cases we drifted away from each other.

Another break up was because she went a little loony towards our relationship.

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"If you cannot lift the load off another's back, do not walk away. Try to lighten it."
~ Frank Tyger

Harshaw

1) Just sort of happened. It was a high school thing and about a week after Senior Prom, it was over.

2) She left for a "week" in California and stayed. Wasn't very clear about what she wanted from me. I tried the long distance thing, but I would only hear from her about every 8 days. She acted pretty bitch-tastic towards me. I may talk to her again some day, she was my best friend for years. But right now, I am pretty mad at her.

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This too shall pass.

Sho Nuff

I was dubbed the 3 month man because all of my relationships lasted exactly that long until my senior year in high school.

Month 1 - Im into it. Its new and exciting
Month 2 - Im past the physical and looking to understand more about the person
Month 3 - The person is boring me and I get the hell out. Usually over the phone.

After that I dated a younger woman for about a year but she was too immature. Pissed me off over the phone and I told her I was through.

Then I dated the love of my life on and off for almost 3 years and I broke up with her twice because no matter how much I loved her we were destructive together. We broke up over the phone after she moved back home.

My last girlfriend and I broke up because shes too whiny. I cant stand that. People who play the victim role in life grate on my nerves. Broke up over the phone too. I planned to break up with her in person but It was long distance and the logistics werent working out. I tried to wait for her to come down but she kept remarking about how good it was to hear me so eager to see her. I couldnt let that situation continue.

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I know Nietzsche doesnt rhyme with peachy, but you sound like a pretentious prick when you correct me.

Averett

See, I can admire you for that. My ex-boyfriend broke up with me after I paid for his plane ticket to visit me. Sure, the phone thing sucks, but it's better than the alternative of getting in a car wreck and having the guy who wrecked the car and who you're in love with break up with you the day you're released from the hospital.

Lesson learned... No more long distance relationships! Should have just ended it after graduation :/

__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

Bloodslick

From "More" by The Sisters of Mercy:
Thankfully, all of the "more" that I want is physical. My current girlfriend understands and shares the feeling, and we go together beautifully.

R0CK

we just stoped seeing each without telling each

frozenstellar

all my previous relationships (probably about 6-7 in the space of the last 3 years) broke up around about in a month or so because we just didnt 'connect'. something wasn't right between whoever i was with and myself, so we'd end it mutually, because neither of us were happy.

current relationship - 3months next friday, and neither of us could be happier. i founds me a beauty

Wax_off

1st. She fucked my brother. Crazy bitch. Literally. She's been institutionalized several times.
2nd. Distance (I moved to the east coast), met another girl, wasn't all that into her anyway.
3rd. Wanted to move back to the west coast. She wouldn't leave her family. Would have married that girl, but couldn't stay in the east. Later married a guy from New York and moved there with him. Has some kids now.
4th. Don't really know. Just drifted apart, started fucking other people, (both of us) even while fucking each other. She stalked me a couple times. Showed up on my doorstep begging me to take her back on my first night with...
5th. Just wasn't into it, didn't love her. The sex was FANTASTIC though and the chemistry kept it going for about a year longer than it should have. Near the end I cheated on her. Only time I've done that.
6th. Only one fight in almost 5 years. Would have been happy to stay with her too, but she was afraid of commitment. She couldn't manage to be responsible for more than herself. Big problem, since I want kids someday. Couldn't have been a family, even though she would have been a great mother. Still love her in a way, 5 years later. If she changed her mind I'd go back.
7th. German girl. She went back to Germany after we'd been dating for about 4 months. I told her I wasn't going to wait around all summer, not dating, for her to come back. This was kinda a rebound from #6.
8th. Rebound #2. Cool girl, but she had father issues, needed some therapy. told her to get back to me when she was fixed. Never heard back.
9th. JA girl. She was cool too. Very athletic. We had a great time together, but in the end wanted different things in a relationship. I need a relationship to be comfortable and stable, she needed it to be about challenge and change. She had weird issue with being Japanese that didn't make sense to me.
10th. Guess this was a relationship. We were fuck buddies for about a year. Kinda dated too. She wan't honest with me. lied about stuff all the time. She also didn't want a family and I do. But I let it go because once again, the sex was out of this world. She stalked me a bit too. Still sends me weird obsesive e-mails from time to time. Cut it off because I was getting increasingly uncomfortable eith her dishonesty and I met...
11th. Current relationship that's winding down. Great girl, but a lot younger than me. She didn't have much experience in relationships (obviously I have) and didn't know how to do it right. My efforts at teaching all failed. Peobably because of her emotional issues (no self confidence, insecurity, hyper-sensitivity, all in portions much more than normal, even for her age). If she gets some therapy she might get her life straightened out. I hope so, she's fantastic.

Most of these lasted 1-2 years. Lots of random dating and stuff that lasted less than 3 months left out.

Rlyss

First girlfriend moved away to Korea, I was fourteen and didn't really care, since I only ever kissed her on the cheek... once! Kids these days are doing so much, and I was ecstatic that I gave her a kiss on the cheek! A few years later she told me 'I never really liked you', and that made me sad for a while. But hey, I was fourteen!

Another one or two 'girlfriends' just like that, nothing amazing, we were just kids.

Second girlfriend cheated on me a couple of times and then got very friendly with a new guy friend and I didn't like it. We had drifted apart, she wasn't very faithful, I was getting bored, I had some sexual issues that I didn't know what to do about. She broke up with me at night (if she hadn't done it, I would have), we slept togther that night, got a handjob the next morning, then came three months of fighting in e-mails and phone calls.

Third girlfriend has been very on and off. We love each other but have totally different wants, she's way too dependent, self-degrading, insecure, and I'm detached and not affectionate and do fine on my own. I think we're both delaying the inevitable, and it's coming to an end.

Jesus Pimp

With my current ex in no particular order (2.5 years down the drain):

1. Distance can be a killer no matter how close you think you are and can put in time to go visit her. We lived 1.5 hours away after we graduated college.

2. Poor communication. She didn't want to discuss our problems or work them out. Before we broke up, I was noticing that I was getting less and less attention from her. She gave more attention to people at her job and on the internent.

3. Speaking of her job. Working at her current job and the people she interacted with has totally changed her. Fuckers.

4. Couldn't handle commitment. Plain and simple. She was two years younger than me. Very naive.

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Never date anyone who doesn't make your dick hard.

Enka

1 - We were both 15, hence no good means of transportation. Things were good when we saw each other, and we even went to homecoming together(i hate homecoming). Then we went a few months without seeing each other. So we just broke up because it was a waste to not see each other and be in a relationship.

2 - Around the time of my first breakup, I became good friends with girl from school. We ended up together 2 months later, in the middle of my junior year of high school. The relationship was so amazing, and we thought we were meant for each other. Of course we were only 16 and I was a Junior in high school and she was a Sophmore. Senior year rolls around and I had a female best friend that my gf hated. Thats when I started to see the ugly side of my gf. Unfortunately I cheated on her about a year into the relationship. Worst thing I could have ever done because I felt so ridiculously guilty about it afterwards. We stayed together for 3.5 years, entering my Junior year of college.
Then she goes to a frat party with her friends, and makes out with one of her friends older brother. She'd had a crush on him since before we were ever together. When I found out, I didnt know how to react, and she didnt know that i knew. So i acted like nothing was wrong. 2 months later i tell her i think we should break up, espicially since i found out she cheated on me. She denied it at first, but then she agreed. I also told her about when i cheated on her a few years back. We both felt extra shitty that day.

Now i am with gf #3 and things are great. The only thing i regret is that in the past 5 years i have only been single for 2 months, and I'm only 21.

dumbnutofak

Don't you hate it when you KNOW ur g/f(or B/F) cheated on you and you ask them about it and they deny the whole damn thing?

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If a little knowledge is dangerous, where is a man who has so much as to be out of danger?