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Old 09-22-2003, 06:27 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Location: Miami, FL
Christian girl: no sex, but blowjobs ok. WTF?!

Last weekend was a typical wild and crazy time. At a party, I ended up hooking up with this chick that I've known for about a year. She's not a friend, just someone who I've been bumping into a lot at various house parties of mutual friends.

I knew that she's a hardcore Christian... I mean, we're talking rarely misses church on Sundays, usually has a bible nearby, can often be heard saying stuff like... "Jesus did this.. so it must be ok". She initiated the hookup, so I went along. (did jesus do hookups in his younger years?? )

Over the weekend, we did just about everything except for sex. That's one thing she wouldn't do because Jesus says no to premarital sex. But blowjobs are ok??? Apparently so.

I'm pretty sure this was a one time thing with her, but I'd really like to hear the Christian perspective on the whole "sex is bad, but blowjobs are ok" thing. Besides offering advise not to hookup with religious girls, what do you make of this?!
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Old 09-22-2003, 06:31 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: oregon
i just think too many people use blow jobs as an excuse for abstinence because its not penis in vagina penetration so it must not be going "all the way" [therefore justifiable]. remember kids, oral SEX is still sex... and you can still get stds from it :P
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Old 09-22-2003, 06:40 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Location: Simi Valley, CA
Quote:
Originally posted by anti fishstick
remember kids, oral SEX is still sex... and you can still get stds from it :P
Rather perfectly said. But idk about the whole religion thing, I keep that as distant as possible, in both me and prospective girls.
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Old 09-22-2003, 06:43 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: Canada
*edited*...

Last edited by ninety09; 10-30-2004 at 08:59 AM..
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Old 09-22-2003, 06:45 PM   #5 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Australia
The whole no-sex-but-blowjobs thing is the most stupid thing I've ever heard. No offence, but that girl sounds anything but pure, she's just kidding herself with a religious facade. I can just imagine her first honeymoon night.

girl: Oh Jason, we've waited so long for this, be gentle!

husband: I can't believe how lucky I am, you've never slept with a guy?

girl: No, never, but I've sucked over 350 cocks! *big toothy grin*

husband: Nooooooooooooooooooo!

I'm only mucking about of course, but it does piss me off. If people are going to follow a religion, they should do just that, not make up excuses.
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Old 09-22-2003, 06:48 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Location: An Aussie Outback
I'm with Fuzz on this one
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Old 09-22-2003, 06:50 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Location: Virginia
ok here's the question do handjobs from the lady count as sex? this seems to be even more accepted than bjs. there are no stds but still pretty high intimacy. anybody?
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Old 09-22-2003, 07:02 PM   #8 (permalink)
beauty in the breakdown
 
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
Yeah, I know plenty of girls like that. Deal with it, they arent going to change. They see vaginal sex as the ultimate and final sexual act, and one that is very special. Sure, oral sex is almost as intimate as you can get, but thats pretty much the point--almost. They are distiguishing between sex (as in intercourse) and sexual activity (into which category oral and manual sex fall), and honestly, I agree with that distinction.
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Old 09-22-2003, 07:12 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Wait until you do have sex with her. You will not be allowed to use any form of birth control. Thats right ANY form of birth control. Its against the rules.
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Old 09-22-2003, 07:20 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Location: New Jersey
Quote:
Originally posted by Hard8s
Wait until you do have sex with her. You will not be allowed to use any form of birth control. Thats right ANY form of birth control. Its against the rules.
Thats a Catholic belief, not a Christian one.
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Old 09-22-2003, 07:21 PM   #11 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Hard8s
Wait until you do have sex with her. You will not be allowed to use any form of birth control. Thats right ANY form of birth control. Its against the rules.
That isn't true of all Christian religions. Mormons do believe it but only a few other christian sects do.
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Old 09-22-2003, 07:25 PM   #12 (permalink)
Is mad at you.
 
Location: Bored in Sacramento
When I was in Eugene Oregon, my friend found the journal of this hardcore christian. Its made the rounds amoung most of my friends and it reads like a penthouse/promise keepers forum. She switches from talking about how she is going to save herself for Jesus to blowing guys throughout the journal.
I think the shame can come out sideways like it does for her. You can tell from the journal that she is getting more and more depressed, because she is young (20's), pretty, horny, and holy. She won't have sex with guys, but she will blow them... this causes her a lot of mental problems. It was kind of sad to watch her get more and more fucked up because she had two such strong forces pulling her apart.
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Old 09-22-2003, 07:50 PM   #13 (permalink)
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GAAAH hypocritical Christians.

Actually, I did the same thing a few years ago.

Then I decided to stop being a compromising dick and punted God.

That's just my experience, though.

I think a lot of Christians find it easy to justify the things that aren't explicitly wrong according to the Bible. For instance, murder and adultery are clearly wrong. But there are a lot of gray areas - do you give to charity, do you watch violent movies, how far do you go physically with people? - that many Christians are eager to take advantage of because they think they know what they're doing.
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Old 09-22-2003, 08:19 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Hypocritical moron of a girl is what she is. She's pushing the envelope and ignoring that it's not specifically penetration, it's ANY kind of sexual realtions- but she wants to suck some dick, so she bends the rules while still maintaining her squeeky-clean image, complete with cum-gargling. Don't use religion as a scapegoat to avoid sex. That's pathetic.
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Old 09-22-2003, 08:41 PM   #15 (permalink)
Banned
 
Location: Laurel, MD, USA
those kinds of people just make me roll my eyes. just hope that they dont bring that kind of stupidity into other areas of life.

as for other religious extremists i just look at the quote... I do not feel obliged to believe the the same God who endowed us with Sense, Reason, and Intellect had also intended us to forego their use.
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Old 09-22-2003, 09:03 PM   #16 (permalink)
Insane
 
Please correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't there a passage in the Bible that relates to not spreading the seed "outside" ? Whatever the case may be, I think it's comical when religious people play the technicality game. It only cheapens their convictions.
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Old 09-23-2003, 12:58 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Location: SLC, UT
mormon chicks are like that...they will suck your cock 100 times and never let you anywhere near the snatch
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Old 09-23-2003, 02:45 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Just like my Gf's Friend..
"no pre-marital sex but anal sex is ok" to her bf.
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Old 09-23-2003, 03:16 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Location: Vancouver, BC
Hmmm, I'll just stay out of this one...
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Old 09-23-2003, 03:22 AM   #20 (permalink)
Is In Love
 
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Location: I'm workin' on it
Quote:
Originally posted by h45e
Just like my Gf's Friend..
"no pre-marital sex but anal sex is ok" to her bf.
Ha! My friend was sort of like that. Not religious, just scared of what her mom would think. So she'd pretty much only let her boyfriend do anal. I am still trying to forget that I even know this...

They're married now, so I guess he didn't mind.

And for the blow job goody-goody girls? Man, that's just annoying. I can't stand people like that.
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Old 09-23-2003, 05:20 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Donor
Location: New England
DANTE
(panicky)
But...but you said you only had sex
with three guys! You never mentioned
him!

VERONICA
That's because I never had sex with
him!

DANTE
You sucked his dick!
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Old 09-23-2003, 06:53 AM   #22 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Austin, TX
Anomaly_: Google a guy named "Onan" and the word "Onanism" and you'll find the passage you're referring to.

Basically it's a story of a guy who's brother dies so he marries his widow. Anyway, he nails his brother's widow but decides that he doesn't want to knock her up, thereby giving his brother (who's dead) a kid and pulls out at the last second, shooting on the ground. So God strikes him dead. It's a cute little story, where later on Onan and Er (the original husband)'s dad hooks up with his daughter-in-law and knocks her up, while not knowing that it was her. Gotta love the Bible.

I've known plenty of people who believed that oral or anal were ok, but not vaginal sex. That's just silly to me. Sex is sex, no matter what goes in where. I'm a Christian too, but I don't believe that sex between people who love each other is wrong. God created it and made it a wonderful thing if used properly and with lots of love. Ain't nothin' wrong with that...

Jason
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Old 09-23-2003, 07:14 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Location: the 'Ville
I know a couple girls like that, but whats worse is one of my guy friends. He's all Christian wearing his big silver cross, but he will take any blowjob you throw at him. Like 5 in one night once at a party. He absolutely hated it when that story got out and ruined his image of being all holy and good.
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Old 09-23-2003, 07:33 AM   #24 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: TAMUK
that's all crazy
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Old 09-23-2003, 07:35 AM   #25 (permalink)
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Location: Virginia
When will people realize it's not wrong to crave sex that it is good for our species as long as your smart about it? I'm not knocking religion but I've always thoght your supposed to learn from it and move on and not quote it every single time you have the slightest anxiety in you life.
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Old 09-23-2003, 07:46 AM   #26 (permalink)
Upright
 
But do Christians swallow???
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Old 09-23-2003, 07:48 AM   #27 (permalink)
I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot!
 
raeanna74's Avatar
 
Location: Upper Michigan
I went through the same thing with hubby. I was one of those raised very strict Christian (Baptist Specifically). Birth Control wasn't "wrong" except for the Morning after Pill. But where we were living at I was going to an extremely strict school. They knew what you bought at the store even sometimes. We could never have gotten condoms and I was scared stiff of getting pregnant. I had only 1 year left before graduation. I was willing to give Bjs for many months before sex. Now I'm completely at ease with my body and have broken out of my shell. Bj's were a "mild" form of sex that I was certain wouldn't get me pregnant. That was why I did it. As for it being right? and penis/vagina sex wrong? Oral sex was just something that wasn't talked about as much and somethin that wasn't kept in our minds as being so terribly wrong as vaginal sex would have been. It was more a programmed sort of thinking. Don't get to "hard" on her to wake up. That will just put her on guard. ASK questions that make her think Maybe she'll realize the insanity of some of the teachings she's heard.

P.s. Oh yes I swallowed
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Old 09-23-2003, 07:51 AM   #28 (permalink)
eci
Tilted
 
Location: UK
Quote:
Originally posted by redlemon
DANTE
(panicky)
But...but you said you only had sex
with three guys! You never mentioned
him!

VERONICA
That's because I never had sex with
him!

DANTE
You sucked his dick!
I was about to say that this reminded me of Clerks...

the next line something like 'you could have just had sex with them like any normal, decent girl!'

Getting away from the religion thing, I'm with Dante that a blowjob is as 'bad' as sex for an ex to have done; an "I'm kissing that mouth!" sort of thing. Perhaps also because a blowjob is a more submissive position for a woman to be in, so in a way it's more 'giving'? Ah, I dunno.

I can't comment on the religion thing as I've never dated anyone who's held such beliefs.
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Old 09-23-2003, 07:52 AM   #29 (permalink)
beauty in the breakdown
 
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
Good answer raeanna. Bugging her about it isnt going to get you anywhere.
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Old 09-23-2003, 07:54 AM   #30 (permalink)
I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot!
 
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Location: Upper Michigan
Anomaly_
That passage regarding spilling seed on the ground is in reference to a man who was obligated to get his dead brother's wife pregnant according to Jewish law. He "broke" the law by cumming on the ground instead of in her and was punished for it. I know it's harsh but it was his motive of refusal to do his "responsibility" rather than where he came.
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Old 09-23-2003, 09:08 AM   #31 (permalink)
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Can she swallow on Friday, or does she have to "eat fish"?
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Old 09-23-2003, 09:52 AM   #32 (permalink)
Upright
 
Quote:
Christian girl: no sex, but blowjobs ok. WTF?!
Typical Christian hypocrisy. This should be nothing new to people who have been involved in a church to a somewhat serious extent (who can beat the brainwashing), however can be quite a shock to those who haven't.
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Old 09-23-2003, 09:57 AM   #33 (permalink)
Psycho
 
My wife was "saving it" when we first met. It didn't stop her from getting down and dirty otherwise, though.

Within a couple of months of when we started to fool around, we were really close to doing the deed, so we stopped and talked about it and she decided she wanted to do it anyway.

We've never turned back. That's close to eight years ago now.
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Old 09-23-2003, 11:01 AM   #34 (permalink)
Upright
 
with some girls, it's OK to do anal, but not vaginal. That way she is still a virgin.
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Old 09-23-2003, 11:04 AM   #35 (permalink)
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Location: Oklahoma
The local Baptist church camp in Oklahoma (where girls are not allowed to wear shorts, but guys are) is also known as the local place where many of today's horny Christian youth lose their virginities. I have actually found some of the most intense sexual women were the ones that were a bit repressed growing up. I don't really find this to be too hypocritical. It is just human nature. My wife and I didn't do any kind of sex prior to getting married, but we did have some rather intense makeout sessions with her orgasming by rubbing against me, and me getting off the same way. Her Catholic upbringing had ingrained this into her.
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Old 09-23-2003, 12:16 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Location: South Ca'lina
That's bullcrap - I agree that she's being totally hypocritical. "No sex before marriage" reflects an attitude, not a one-act-only prohibition.
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Old 09-23-2003, 01:03 PM   #37 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: SLC, UT
Quote:
Originally posted by redlemon
DANTE
(panicky)
But...but you said you only had sex
with three guys! You never mentioned
him!

VERONICA
That's because I never had sex with
him!

DANTE
You sucked his dick!
try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot!!
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Old 09-23-2003, 02:00 PM   #38 (permalink)
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Location: tentative, at best
Quote:
Originally posted by johnnymysto
That's bullcrap - I agree that she's being totally hypocritical. "No sex before marriage" reflects an attitude, not a one-act-only prohibition.
That's right - if you're going to draw a line - I prefer the Seinfeld definition:
It's only "making out' until the nipple makes an appearance.
After that - it's sex, baby.
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Old 09-23-2003, 05:17 PM   #39 (permalink)
Upright
 
Can you give me the name of that church so I can go too?
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Old 09-23-2003, 05:29 PM   #40 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Here's my take on this: anyone who knows about the Bible should be able to say that ANY sexual activity before marriage is forbidden. I think you'd be hard pressed to get her to say that blow jobs before marriage are okay according to the Bible. The truth is, that while she wants to stick with her beliefs, she also would like to experience sex and to cut loose a little. Oral sex or anything other than penetration protect her from becoming pregnant and thus EXPOSING her. My problem is with the hypocritical adults that put this kind of pressure on her, when many of them have been caught up in the same situation. As for you, give her some room, and talk about it. Fact is, she's learning alot about herself, physically and spiritually right now.

JMHO
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