Top 5 traits do you prioritize in the opposite sex and why?

[Sheepy]

The title practically explains itself but i was curious to know how diverse it can get with other people and if you want to why, and you can also include not's so like 'not a clean freak ' - ( don't get too psycho analysis with me though!)



So here is my list to begin it..


1: Physically attractive: Some people say its the inside that counts but i just can't dig a girl no matter how amazing her personality is if i don't find her attractive in the way that urges sex - there has to be a lust factor in it (not necessary big but it just has to be there).

2: Kind: I value this as i can never get sick of kind people.

3: Laughs easily - because i tell shit jokes.

4. Not taller than me: It'snot really a trait but i can't stand that!

5: Eventful: I really like it when a girl has a lot going for her it's really enjoyable and there isn't that frustration in being the one who always takes her out, always organizes the weekends ect.

I don't mind if she's a dumbass as i find intelligent girls...as interesting conversationalist as they can be, are high maintenance. Hey it least i'm honest.

[robot_parade]

Ok, here's a list from me:

1: Boobs. Well, ok, I guess this is 'attractiveness', but I really wanted to say 'boobs' just now. Boobs.

2: A sense of fun. She has to be ok with being silly for no reason at all. This is a little bit different from a sense of humor, or maybe broader.

3: A sense of self-worth. A lot of women I've been with are, frankly, damaged goods. And I'm sure there's reasons, and I feel for them, but I can't fix them. That said, everybody gets down about themselves from time to time and needs to be supported and built up. So (I hope) I'm not being unrealistic or anything.

4: Not a slob. I'm far from the neatest person ever, but there's a line between 'messy' and 'dirty'. I couldn't be with someone who crosses that line.

5: I'm gonna steal one from the OP: "Kind". That pretty much says it all.

[MSD]

Every time I've thought I had the criteria set for what makes the perfect woman, someone proved me wrong. If I like her and she likes me, everything else is secondary.

[StanT]

Active, athletic, smart, and wants to get naked with me.


Only four, but not a common combination.

[ZombieSquirrel]

1. Driven.
2. Sense of humor.
3. Humble andomgunpretentious.
4. Active.
5. Not allergic to cats.

[mixedmedia]

1. crazy
2. preternaturally obsessed with sex
3. loves me
4. hates me
5. needs me

somewhere in there are the clues as to why I keep fucking up in the relationship department. I just can't seem to figure it out.

[Willravel]

Honesty has to top my list. Experience has taught me that all other desirable traits pale in comparison to the ability to be truthful through good times and bad with one's partner/s. When I'm seriously dating a woman, even though we won't always agree on everything, it's my view that we always have each other's backs completely and that requires real, honest to goodness trust. I don't believe in keeping secrets from one's partner or partners.

Healthy self-esteem is a strong second to honesty, as far as I'm concerned. While I've got my partner's back 100%, I can't be the sole support system for her self-worth. It's simply not healthy. She doesn't have to be an island of strength, but having developed one's own belief in one's abilities, one's successes and one's worth is paramount.

Another important trait is not only the ability but the proclivity to educate herself (usin' words like proclivity don't hurt, neither!). I've known plenty of naturally smart people and people who are well educated, but it's the people who are always hungry to learn that I respect the most. It's an openness, combined with active curiosity and skepticism that leads one to continually formulate a better understanding and thus appreciation of the world. And there's nothing in the world sexier than a woman who's excited to learn.

Everyone should have a sense of romance, including women. While I consider myself a chivalrous feminist, and I love going out of my way to show affection, it means the world to me for someone who I care about to demonstrate in some meaningful way that she cares about me, too. Romance is not isolated to one gender. I don't mean flowers or anything, mind you, but a post-it note with some loving message left on the bathroom mirror means a lot. And ladies, don't forget that a woman can propose marriage.

While I value a woman for who she is on the inside, I'd be lying if I said it didn't matter what she looks like. I've found that, in my 14 or so years of dating, I tend to date attractive women. Sue me! I don't recall ever dating a woman I wasn't physically attracted to, and I can't imagine myself doing it in the future.

[Vixie]

Honest, responsible, passionate, confident, masculine.

[GreyWolf]

Intelligence
Self confidence / good sense of self worth / independence (I see these as aspects of the same thing)
Open intellectually, spiritually, sexually
Good sense of humour (odd is good)
Accepting of me (my foibles and weaknesses) and not desperate to remake me.

[Dragonlich]

Female, Human, alive.

Apart from those, she has to be:
- Sexy and sexual, both physically and intellectually (read: needs to have a dirty mind )
- Healthy and comfortable with herself, both body and mind.
- Happy and fun to be around. No brooding, negative persons for me. I've got plenty of that stuff myself
- Sense of humor
- Has to like me for being me.

There, that's either five or twelve (or fifteen) traits for you.

[snowy]

Compassionate, curious, has a sense of humor, Eagle Scout (not really a trait, but it takes a variety of traits to achieve, and through its attainment, gives the holder a variety of skills I find extremely attractive), and caring.

[Strange Famous]

big breasts and round arses; and educated, so I can...

_

Erm, in terms of a serious answer, I dont think you can name 5 things - because when you meet the right person you tend to think all the things about them are your favourite and you cant really be objective: but I would say 5 things I couldnt take

1 - I couldnt date someone who was an absolute idiot (Im not saying I am an intellectual or anything, but I couldnt date someone who just never thought or reflected about anything

2 - I couldnt date someone who was cruel, spiteful, who put people down or bullied people.

3 - I couldnt date someone who was politically very far right (ie - doesnt like immigration, comes out with "they come over here and..." type comments)

4 - I couldnt date someone I wasnt attracted to physically (although if you connect with someone emotionally I think you find them a lot more attractive than someone with the same looks you dont care about)... but there is an element that just a shalow judgment of looks comes into it. This may sound pretty hypocritical as I am conscious I am not at all attractive, but its how it is and you cant lie about it (not to yourself anyway)

5 - I couldnt date someone who was obsessively jealous/controlling

[Sheepy]

From the responses and other knowledge what do you think are the traits and features that people ( for the benefit of dragonlich, yup namely humans ) are the most appealing overall? (so if you got a census from 10,000 people what trait do you think would appear the most in the top 5 and why?

I think i read somewhere it might be intelligence and kindness but not totally sure!

The reason i'm asking is i'm thinking there must be values that have the strongest appeal which would be good to know of in scenario of finding myself in Ms America and needing to grab the most votes from the audience by describing myself in one word. Important stuff.

[dlish]

sheepy, youre applying for the Ms America contest? i didnt think they let kiwis in!

one word value...

open-minded.

if someone's not open minded, my dealings with them wont last more than a few minutes. regardless of whether they're beautiful or not.

However, i think people make comprimises on their 'list' when a suitable person comes around, because in the crux of it, no one is perfect and you'll never find everything on your list in one person.

[Sheepy]

dammit dlish i thought there would be rules against being rational in the sexuality forum!

[Chumley]

Compassion - if she's unfeeling, it's just not gonna happen.
Intelligence - I get really impatient with people that aren't smart.
Honesty - playing games here just means she's not ready for a real relationship
Attractive - has to be that frisson of attractiveness, which encompasses a pretty wide range of girls, to be honest
Sense of irony - life is full of them, and honestly I wouldn't enjoy someone without this insight

[Sheepy]

Originally Posted by MSD

Every time I've thought I had the criteria set for what makes the perfect woman, someone proved me wrong. If I like her and she likes me, everything else is secondary.

*strongly agree*

Though I've read somewhere that there is like a sub conscious check list we have in our mind that if someone we encounter manages to pass really well we are highly likely to start being interested in them or liking them

I guess i don't have nearly as much experience as some of you other guys do but i also find (contrary to what i just said) that sometimes i find myself being really really attracted to girls from first encounters were there is no way i would be able to have an idea of their intelligence, mindset or personality. I guess you could say it is lust but i don't always think so as this 'lightening butterfly strike' has hit me from girls that if they met they would have barely anything in common! it can be caused by opinionated formal 22 year olds to one time a carefree fairly flaky well developed 15 year old then to a mates really lovely mum (HA. HA. )

[Lindy]

Here is a hacked up, edited, revision of a list that I posted in a thread in the Ladies Lounge three and a half years ago.
Priorities shift over time, this is what is important to me now, at age 34. I know that my list would be different if I wrote it at age 18 or 21.

1) If you want me to look twice at you, you have to be, first of all, non-negotiable, chiseled into concrete--AN ADULT. I’ve known men who were adult at age twenty, others with no chance at age fifty. What I look for now, is someone who might turn out to be a good partner. You do not need to be drop dead gorgeous, (or even handsome) a neat freak, buff, or rich. You don't need to be an Einstein, but if you have some interests besides trucks, NASCAR, football, beer, the NBA, and my tits, that would be nice.
2) Intelligent and inquiring.
3) Responsible, socially and financially.
4) Emotionally stable,supportive, and unafraid of commitment.
5) The jealous, the possessive, the druggy, the practicing alcoholic need not apply.
And a bunch of little stuff that is important to me now, that maybe wasn’t when I was age 20: You should be able to do your own laundry, pick up after yourself, balance your checkbook, clean your catbox, and cook. Take a shower every day. Still living at home at twenty-one is OK, at thirty-one it's not, no matter how many degrees you have. I might end up being your friend, girlfriend, wife, significant other, whatever, but I will not be your maid or your mom.
Original post: http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/ladies-...#ixzz1IazE14JJ

Originally Posted by Sheepy

....I don't mind if she's a dumbass as i find intelligent girls...as interesting conversationalist as they can be, are high maintenance. Hey it least i'm honest.

Something about this bothers me... I'm not quite sure what. I can't see anything appealing about being with a dumbass.

Originally Posted by dlish

....However, i think people make comprimises on their 'list' when a suitable person comes around, because in the crux of it, no one is perfect and you'll never find everything on your list in one person.

Thanks, dlish, for bringing some wisdom to the thread.

Lindy

[uncle phil]

only one for me - brains...

[EventHorizon]

i dont know... i think i've found the perfect girlfriend

likes Starcraft
very attractive
enjoys cooking for me
has long term goals for her life
says what she thinks without using any rhetoric

[PonyPotato]

1. Attractive (chemistry).
2. Intelligent and well-spoken.
3. Active.
4. Ambitious.
5. Moral and honest.

[WhoaitsZ]

1) she must be sweet and kind.
2) she needs to be smart. as someone above said she need not be a genius but simply dumb people suck...
3) she absolutely, positively must like pets and animals.
4) she needs to be at least central or left. a very far right winger would drive me insane in now time.
5) She needs a good sense of humor

i would absolutely love to get a killer hottie but i doubt that will happen. Sure, I'd LOVE to get a chiseled babe with c cup breast but honestly I care more about the inside than out. AT 32 things change... unless you never grow up.

---------- Post added at 08:57 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:56 PM ----------

Originally Posted by uncle phil

only one for me - brains...

I KNEW you were a zombie, old man!

[Sheepy]

Originally Posted by Lindy

Something about this bothers me... I'm not quite sure what. I can't see anything appealing about being with a dumbass.

Lindy

I didn't so much mean like her raison d'etre in life is being dumb so much but more i don't mind if she isn't intelligent to the degree that you could specifically remark on her intelligence - like everyone is intelligent up to some point but you won't get called in for it unless it really passes a noticeable mark.

I think there is a key difference between being intelligent and being intellect/wise though. I'd much prefer an intellect girl friend than an intelligent one. Intellects are interesting but i see intelligence as just being informative and really we are in a world were the information just doesn't stop, and i think it's much more important to interpret that information(intellect ) than just try to absorb it (intelligence ).

[Cimarron29414]

Equally important:

Pleasant
Loyal
Enjoys sex
Doesn't abuse money

[Baraka_Guru]

Attractive, funny, liberal, intelligent, content.

Though we beta males can't be too choosy.

[Strange Famous]

Oh yeah, I wouldnt date a woman who had or wanted a pet snake. Even if she was Rachel Bilson I wouldnt.

[Cimarron29414]

Strange,

Some days you just totally come off like Alan from The Hangover. No, they did not give out rings at the holocaust.

[Plan9]

Hmm, I'm not going to participate in this thread's OP list because I'm incredibly bitter about my last relationship. Hey-oh!

...

Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru

...though we beta males can't be too choosy.

Your attitude is triggering my prey response. Don't make me steal your woman.

...

Originally Posted by Cimarron29414

Strange,

Some days you just totally come off like Alan from The Hangover. No, they did not give out rings at the holocaust.

This. I totally want to party with Strange.

[Baraka_Guru]

Originally Posted by Plan9

Your attitude is triggering my prey response. Don't make me steal your woman.

Just be careful. She's an alpha. If she gets one small sense that you're a threat, she'll take you out.

I know for a fact that she has the will and the means.

[ring]

Practical footwear is kinda high on my list.

Hey. That's a good name for a band.

[Cimarron29414]

Wait, you want your mate to wear practical footwear or provide it?

[Plan9]

I've been told by numerous women that practical gifts aren't looked upon favorably.

[Cimarron29414]

For our birthdays, my wife and I are having the back bedroom sheet rocked. Seriously.

[monkeysugar]

1. Single
2. Not superficial
3. Employed or pursuing education
4. Has transportation.
5. Not completely bat-shit crazy.

[levite]

1. Intelligent/thoughtful/curious. OK, technically that's kind of lumping stuff into one, but they have to come together for me. I need a woman who's as smart or smarter than I am, who thinks about things, about herself, about life, and so forth, and who is curious to learn and ask questions and consider her ideas and beliefs.

2. Honest/Communicative. No getting around this one. Without this, no relationship can survive.

3. Spiritual. Someone who is interested in God, in spiritual practices, in mysticism, in their soul, in the metaphysical, and in the spiritual meanings of life in general.

(3a. Jewish, although this was only ever important vis-a-vis marriage. Never stopped me from one-nighters, flings, short-term relationships,or even the occasional longer-term relationship.)

4. Quiet Fun/Cultured/Funny. Someone who likes to go to concerts, museums, plays, opera, comedy, movies, great restaurants, the occasional art show; but also likes cozy evenings at home, entertaining guests, DVDs on the sofa, reading together; and throughout all of the above, sharing my quirky sense of humor.

5. Crazy horny. Got to have boots and love knockin' 'em. Plain vanilla okay, as long as it's in abundance, with great zest; although I do like the occasional kink thrown in-- more than occasional is okay, too.

[DaveOrion]

We've done this before but what the hell........

1. Born female
2. Has a pulse
3. Is Attractive
4. Is Rich
5. Doesnt mind if I actually have my own opinions

Just because..............

[Zeraph]

Shit, I really don't know. Physically and mentally attractive. Whatever that means inside my head.

Oh, she has to naturally smell good all over. Smell is actually a pretty big deal now that I think of it. I guess I'm weird like that. But then my nose seems to be more sensitive than most.

[Xazy]

Since it is just 5 here is my list.

Mensch
Attracted to physically
Smart
Sense of humor
Orthodox jewish

[Lindy]

This is my boyfriend/Sig Other's list:

1. Tall (I'm about 5'2" standing really straight)
2. Skinny (I'll admit to being lean... not skinny)
3. Redhead (I'm strawberry blonde)
4. Big boobs (Yep, that's me)
5. Lots of money (Well, let's say I'm ahead of the curve)
Kind of a typical guy list. He says that he jokingly came up with this intentionally unrealistic set of qualifications after his wife died four years ago, mostly as a way to discourage his friends setting him up with dates. He was quite happy alone. About a year ago a mutual friend got the two of us together, and fair skinned Sig blushed bright red when I asked him how I came out on his check list. I was mostly joking about the list, he said a year later but that 3.5 out of 5 isn't too bad, even. Well, I guess I can put a little red tint in my hair to get up to 4, but there is nothing I can do about five foot two.
Be all of that as it may, he's just what I want. The first real "keeper" that's come around in three or four years.

Lindy

[lunxpress]

Good listening and comprehension skills,
Unbridled Curiosity,
Sexual insatiability,
Unfathomable depth,
Stupid funny,
Hopeful,
Softie