Sheepy

The title practically explains itself but i was curious to know how diverse it can get with other people and if you want to why, and you can also include not's so like 'not a clean freak ' - ( don't get too psycho analysis with me though!)



So here is my list to begin it..


1: Physically attractive: Some people say its the inside that counts but i just can't dig a girl no matter how amazing her personality is if i don't find her attractive in the way that urges sex - there has to be a lust factor in it (not necessary big but it just has to be there).

2: Kind: I value this as i can never get sick of kind people.

3: Laughs easily - because i tell shit jokes.

4. Not taller than me: It'snot really a trait but i can't stand that!

5: Eventful: I really like it when a girl has a lot going for her it's really enjoyable and there isn't that frustration in being the one who always takes her out, always organizes the weekends ect.

I don't mind if she's a dumbass as i find intelligent girls...as interesting conversationalist as they can be, are high maintenance. Hey it least i'm honest.

robot_parade

Ok, here's a list from me:

1: Boobs. Well, ok, I guess this is 'attractiveness', but I really wanted to say 'boobs' just now. Boobs.

2: A sense of fun. She has to be ok with being silly for no reason at all. This is a little bit different from a sense of humor, or maybe broader.

3: A sense of self-worth. A lot of women I've been with are, frankly, damaged goods. And I'm sure there's reasons, and I feel for them, but I can't fix them. That said, everybody gets down about themselves from time to time and needs to be supported and built up. So (I hope) I'm not being unrealistic or anything.

4: Not a slob. I'm far from the neatest person ever, but there's a line between 'messy' and 'dirty'. I couldn't be with someone who crosses that line.

5: I'm gonna steal one from the OP: "Kind". That pretty much says it all.

MSD

Every time I've thought I had the criteria set for what makes the perfect woman, someone proved me wrong. If I like her and she likes me, everything else is secondary.

StanT

Active, athletic, smart, and wants to get naked with me.


Only four, but not a common combination.

ZombieSquirrel

1. Driven.
2. Sense of humor.
3. Humble andomgunpretentious.
4. Active.
5. Not allergic to cats.

__________________
Attack ZombieSquirrels

mixedmedia

1. crazy
2. preternaturally obsessed with sex
3. loves me
4. hates me
5. needs me

somewhere in there are the clues as to why I keep fucking up in the relationship department. I just can't seem to figure it out.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Willravel

Honesty has to top my list. Experience has taught me that all other desirable traits pale in comparison to the ability to be truthful through good times and bad with one's partner/s. When I'm seriously dating a woman, even though we won't always agree on everything, it's my view that we always have each other's backs completely and that requires real, honest to goodness trust. I don't believe in keeping secrets from one's partner or partners.

Healthy self-esteem is a strong second to honesty, as far as I'm concerned. While I've got my partner's back 100%, I can't be the sole support system for her self-worth. It's simply not healthy. She doesn't have to be an island of strength, but having developed one's own belief in one's abilities, one's successes and one's worth is paramount.

Another important trait is not only the ability but the proclivity to educate herself (usin' words like proclivity don't hurt, neither!). I've known plenty of naturally smart people and people who are well educated, but it's the people who are always hungry to learn that I respect the most. It's an openness, combined with active curiosity and skepticism that leads one to continually formulate a better understanding and thus appreciation of the world. And there's nothing in the world sexier than a woman who's excited to learn.

Everyone should have a sense of romance, including women. While I consider myself a chivalrous feminist, and I love going out of my way to show affection, it means the world to me for someone who I care about to demonstrate in some meaningful way that she cares about me, too. Romance is not isolated to one gender. I don't mean flowers or anything, mind you, but a post-it note with some loving message left on the bathroom mirror means a lot. And ladies, don't forget that a woman can propose marriage.

While I value a woman for who she is on the inside, I'd be lying if I said it didn't matter what she looks like. I've found that, in my 14 or so years of dating, I tend to date attractive women. Sue me! I don't recall ever dating a woman I wasn't physically attracted to, and I can't imagine myself doing it in the future.

Vixie

Honest, responsible, passionate, confident, masculine.

GreyWolf

Intelligence
Self confidence / good sense of self worth / independence (I see these as aspects of the same thing)
Open intellectually, spiritually, sexually
Good sense of humour (odd is good)
Accepting of me (my foibles and weaknesses) and not desperate to remake me.

__________________
The secret to great marksmanship is deciding what the target was AFTER you've shot.

Dragonlich

Female, Human, alive.

Apart from those, she has to be:
- Sexy and sexual, both physically and intellectually (read: needs to have a dirty mind )
- Healthy and comfortable with herself, both body and mind.
- Happy and fun to be around. No brooding, negative persons for me. I've got plenty of that stuff myself
- Sense of humor
- Has to like me for being me.

There, that's either five or twelve (or fifteen) traits for you.

snowy

Compassionate, curious, has a sense of humor, Eagle Scout (not really a trait, but it takes a variety of traits to achieve, and through its attainment, gives the holder a variety of skills I find extremely attractive), and caring.

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Strange Famous

big breasts and round arses; and educated, so I can...

_

Erm, in terms of a serious answer, I dont think you can name 5 things - because when you meet the right person you tend to think all the things about them are your favourite and you cant really be objective: but I would say 5 things I couldnt take

1 - I couldnt date someone who was an absolute idiot (Im not saying I am an intellectual or anything, but I couldnt date someone who just never thought or reflected about anything

2 - I couldnt date someone who was cruel, spiteful, who put people down or bullied people.

3 - I couldnt date someone who was politically very far right (ie - doesnt like immigration, comes out with "they come over here and..." type comments)

4 - I couldnt date someone I wasnt attracted to physically (although if you connect with someone emotionally I think you find them a lot more attractive than someone with the same looks you dont care about)... but there is an element that just a shalow judgment of looks comes into it. This may sound pretty hypocritical as I am conscious I am not at all attractive, but its how it is and you cant lie about it (not to yourself anyway)

5 - I couldnt date someone who was obsessively jealous/controlling

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

Sheepy

From the responses and other knowledge what do you think are the traits and features that people ( for the benefit of dragonlich, yup namely humans ) are the most appealing overall? (so if you got a census from 10,000 people what trait do you think would appear the most in the top 5 and why?

I think i read somewhere it might be intelligence and kindness but not totally sure!

The reason i'm asking is i'm thinking there must be values that have the strongest appeal which would be good to know of in scenario of finding myself in Ms America and needing to grab the most votes from the audience by describing myself in one word. Important stuff.

dlish

sheepy, youre applying for the Ms America contest? i didnt think they let kiwis in!

one word value...

open-minded.

if someone's not open minded, my dealings with them wont last more than a few minutes. regardless of whether they're beautiful or not.

However, i think people make comprimises on their 'list' when a suitable person comes around, because in the crux of it, no one is perfect and you'll never find everything on your list in one person.

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

Sheepy

dammit dlish i thought there would be rules against being rational in the sexuality forum!

Chumley

Compassion - if she's unfeeling, it's just not gonna happen.
Intelligence - I get really impatient with people that aren't smart.
Honesty - playing games here just means she's not ready for a real relationship
Attractive - has to be that frisson of attractiveness, which encompasses a pretty wide range of girls, to be honest
Sense of irony - life is full of them, and honestly I wouldn't enjoy someone without this insight

Sheepy

*strongly agree*

Though I've read somewhere that there is like a sub conscious check list we have in our mind that if someone we encounter manages to pass really well we are highly likely to start being interested in them or liking them

I guess i don't have nearly as much experience as some of you other guys do but i also find (contrary to what i just said) that sometimes i find myself being really really attracted to girls from first encounters were there is no way i would be able to have an idea of their intelligence, mindset or personality. I guess you could say it is lust but i don't always think so as this 'lightening butterfly strike' has hit me from girls that if they met they would have barely anything in common! it can be caused by opinionated formal 22 year olds to one time a carefree fairly flaky well developed 15 year old then to a mates really lovely mum (HA. HA. )

Lindy

Here is a hacked up, edited, revision of a list that I posted in a thread in the Ladies Lounge three and a half years ago.
Priorities shift over time, this is what is important to me now, at age 34. I know that my list would be different if I wrote it at age 18 or 21.

1) If you want me to look twice at you, you have to be, first of all, non-negotiable, chiseled into concrete--AN ADULT. I’ve known men who were adult at age twenty, others with no chance at age fifty. What I look for now, is someone who might turn out to be a good partner. You do not need to be drop dead gorgeous, (or even handsome) a neat freak, buff, or rich. You don't need to be an Einstein, but if you have some interests besides trucks, NASCAR, football, beer, the NBA, and my tits, that would be nice.
2) Intelligent and inquiring.
3) Responsible, socially and financially.
4) Emotionally stable,supportive, and unafraid of commitment.
5) The jealous, the possessive, the druggy, the practicing alcoholic need not apply.
And a bunch of little stuff that is important to me now, that maybe wasn’t when I was age 20: You should be able to do your own laundry, pick up after yourself, balance your checkbook, clean your catbox, and cook. Take a shower every day. Still living at home at twenty-one is OK, at thirty-one it's not, no matter how many degrees you have. I might end up being your friend, girlfriend, wife, significant other, whatever, but I will not be your maid or your mom.
Original post: http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/ladies-...#ixzz1IazE14JJ
Something about this bothers me... I'm not quite sure what. I can't see anything appealing about being with a dumbass.

Thanks, dlish, for bringing some wisdom to the thread.

Lindy

uncle phil

only one for me - brains...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

EventHorizon

i dont know... i think i've found the perfect girlfriend

likes Starcraft
very attractive
enjoys cooking for me
has long term goals for her life
says what she thinks without using any rhetoric

__________________
Does Marcellus Wallace have the appearance of a female canine? Then for what reason did you attempt to copulate with him as if he were a female canine?

Quote:

Originally Posted by canuckguy Pretty simple really, do your own thing as long as it does not fuck with anyone's enjoyment of life.

PonyPotato

1. Attractive (chemistry).
2. Intelligent and well-spoken.
3. Active.
4. Ambitious.
5. Moral and honest.

__________________
"Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark."
— Henri-Frédéric Amiel

WhoaitsZ

1) she must be sweet and kind.
2) she needs to be smart. as someone above said she need not be a genius but simply dumb people suck...
3) she absolutely, positively must like pets and animals.
4) she needs to be at least central or left. a very far right winger would drive me insane in now time.
5) She needs a good sense of humor

i would absolutely love to get a killer hottie but i doubt that will happen. Sure, I'd LOVE to get a chiseled babe with c cup breast but honestly I care more about the inside than out. AT 32 things change... unless you never grow up.

---------- Post added at 08:57 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:56 PM ----------

I KNEW you were a zombie, old man!

Sheepy

I didn't so much mean like her raison d'etre in life is being dumb so much but more i don't mind if she isn't intelligent to the degree that you could specifically remark on her intelligence - like everyone is intelligent up to some point but you won't get called in for it unless it really passes a noticeable mark.

I think there is a key difference between being intelligent and being intellect/wise though. I'd much prefer an intellect girl friend than an intelligent one. Intellects are interesting but i see intelligence as just being informative and really we are in a world were the information just doesn't stop, and i think it's much more important to interpret that information(intellect ) than just try to absorb it (intelligence ).

Cimarron29414

Equally important:

Pleasant
Loyal
Enjoys sex
Doesn't abuse money

__________________
Gives a man a halo, does mead.

"Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."

Baraka_Guru

Attractive, funny, liberal, intelligent, content.

Though we beta males can't be too choosy.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Strange Famous

Oh yeah, I wouldnt date a woman who had or wanted a pet snake. Even if she was Rachel Bilson I wouldnt.

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

Cimarron29414

Strange,

Some days you just totally come off like Alan from The Hangover. No, they did not give out rings at the holocaust.

__________________
Gives a man a halo, does mead.

"Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."

Plan9

Hmm, I'm not going to participate in this thread's OP list because I'm incredibly bitter about my last relationship. Hey-oh!

...

Your attitude is triggering my prey response. Don't make me steal your woman.

...

This. I totally want to party with Strange.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Baraka_Guru

Just be careful. She's an alpha. If she gets one small sense that you're a threat, she'll take you out.

I know for a fact that she has the will and the means.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

ring

Practical footwear is kinda high on my list.

Hey. That's a good name for a band.

Cimarron29414

Wait, you want your mate to wear practical footwear or provide it?

__________________
Gives a man a halo, does mead.

"Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."

Plan9

I've been told by numerous women that practical gifts aren't looked upon favorably.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Cimarron29414

For our birthdays, my wife and I are having the back bedroom sheet rocked. Seriously.

__________________
Gives a man a halo, does mead.

"Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."

monkeysugar

1. Single
2. Not superficial
3. Employed or pursuing education
4. Has transportation.
5. Not completely bat-shit crazy.

__________________
I've got the love of my life and a job that I enjoy most of the time. Life is good.

levite

1. Intelligent/thoughtful/curious. OK, technically that's kind of lumping stuff into one, but they have to come together for me. I need a woman who's as smart or smarter than I am, who thinks about things, about herself, about life, and so forth, and who is curious to learn and ask questions and consider her ideas and beliefs.

2. Honest/Communicative. No getting around this one. Without this, no relationship can survive.

3. Spiritual. Someone who is interested in God, in spiritual practices, in mysticism, in their soul, in the metaphysical, and in the spiritual meanings of life in general.

(3a. Jewish, although this was only ever important vis-a-vis marriage. Never stopped me from one-nighters, flings, short-term relationships,or even the occasional longer-term relationship.)

4. Quiet Fun/Cultured/Funny. Someone who likes to go to concerts, museums, plays, opera, comedy, movies, great restaurants, the occasional art show; but also likes cozy evenings at home, entertaining guests, DVDs on the sofa, reading together; and throughout all of the above, sharing my quirky sense of humor.

5. Crazy horny. Got to have boots and love knockin' 'em. Plain vanilla okay, as long as it's in abundance, with great zest; although I do like the occasional kink thrown in-- more than occasional is okay, too.

__________________
Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)

DaveOrion

We've done this before but what the hell........

1. Born female
2. Has a pulse
3. Is Attractive
4. Is Rich
5. Doesnt mind if I actually have my own opinions

Just because..............

__________________
Syriana...have you ever tried liquid MDMA?....Liquid MDMA? No....Arash, when you wanna do this?.....After prayer...

Zeraph

Shit, I really don't know. Physically and mentally attractive. Whatever that means inside my head.

Oh, she has to naturally smell good all over. Smell is actually a pretty big deal now that I think of it. I guess I'm weird like that. But then my nose seems to be more sensitive than most.

Xazy

Since it is just 5 here is my list.

Mensch
Attracted to physically
Smart
Sense of humor
Orthodox jewish

__________________
Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Lindy

This is my boyfriend/Sig Other's list:

1. Tall (I'm about 5'2" standing really straight)
2. Skinny (I'll admit to being lean... not skinny)
3. Redhead (I'm strawberry blonde)
4. Big boobs (Yep, that's me)
5. Lots of money (Well, let's say I'm ahead of the curve)
Kind of a typical guy list. He says that he jokingly came up with this intentionally unrealistic set of qualifications after his wife died four years ago, mostly as a way to discourage his friends setting him up with dates. He was quite happy alone. About a year ago a mutual friend got the two of us together, and fair skinned Sig blushed bright red when I asked him how I came out on his check list. I was mostly joking about the list, he said a year later but that 3.5 out of 5 isn't too bad, even. Well, I guess I can put a little red tint in my hair to get up to 4, but there is nothing I can do about five foot two.
Be all of that as it may, he's just what I want. The first real "keeper" that's come around in three or four years.

Lindy

lunxpress

Good listening and comprehension skills,
Unbridled Curiosity,
Sexual insatiability,
Unfathomable depth,
Stupid funny,
Hopeful,
Softie