12-27-2010, 09:05 AM | #42 (permalink) | ||
Lover - Protector - Teacher
Location: Seattle, WA
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If it were flipped around, guys, would you be upset if you found pictures your girlfriend saved of your male friends and she admitted they were for masturbation? I have a hard time feeling upset by that, either, but I reckon for some it's worse for women to do this sort of thing. ---------- Post added at 10:05 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:46 AM ---------- Quote:
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"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel |
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12-27-2010, 09:40 AM | #43 (permalink) |
Upright
Location: Alaska
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I honestly do not see what she is agonizing over. She needs to do some growing up. Be glad she did not find pictures of guys in there posing with their dicks out. Fantasies are a private thing until willingly shared. Some people like to act out their fantasies others like to keep just as they are. She should be kicking herself for going too far. It is like walking in the bathroom when a guest is taking a dump, oops, they should have locked the door but do you walk on in and started talking or do you back on out slightly embarassed for them?
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12-27-2010, 12:44 PM | #44 (permalink) |
Still Crazy
Location: In my own time
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I see that myopinion concerning this issue differs from the majority here, but then that may be a generational thing, or a difference in personal conduct, or something else. <shrug> TFP has always had room for a variety of opinions, and it's been eye-opening for me to learn the points of view of other people.
There are no hard-and-fast "rules" governing relationships, and that was a poor choice of words on my part. One other thing: Some of you jumped to the conclusion that I was suggesting the OP divulge this info to her roommate and friends. That I did not do. I did ask if she had talked to her roommate and friends about this. Just to be clear.
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it's gritty |
12-27-2010, 08:49 PM | #45 (permalink) |
Addict
Location: WA
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I use porn a lot. But I dont have pictures of any of her friends or mine for that purpose.
In fact I have a collection of my favorites stored in my system downloaded from web including tittyboard. But I never download any pics from TE. No body told me not to - I just don't. But this is just me. I really don't what is right or wrong in this particular topic. |
12-27-2010, 09:16 PM | #46 (permalink) |
Minion of Joss
Location: The Windy City
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OMFG, I haven't laughed that hard in a long time! I owe you for that one, brah!
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Dull sublunary lovers love, Whose soul is sense, cannot admit Absence, because it doth remove That thing which elemented it. (From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne) |
12-27-2010, 10:13 PM | #47 (permalink) | |
I Confess a Shiver
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Levite:
You're my super-unlikely funk soul brother. Ananas: Oh, please. Stop playing the "my opinion" game for chrissakes. Everything here is a goddamn opinion. You don't have state it. This is a discussion board, not a fact board. This isn't some Harvard School of Sociology peer review (for most users). The only person full of shit here is me and I'm not sharing. Quote:
Nobody does that. Not even Abe Lincoln. Last edited by Plan9; 12-27-2010 at 10:20 PM.. |
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12-28-2010, 01:19 PM | #48 (permalink) |
has all her shots.
Location: Florida
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if you take her at her word, she was not snooping. jesus.
__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce |
12-28-2010, 03:30 PM | #49 (permalink) | |
Still Crazy
Location: In my own time
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Quote:
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it's gritty |
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12-28-2010, 06:46 PM | #50 (permalink) |
WaterDog
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I'm sure you've thought dirty thoughts about guys you've seen. As a guy, I think it's pretty safe to assume that most young males likely wack off to thoughts of about every girl they have ever meet.
I think you should be glad he's not masturbating too gay porn or extreme bloody coconut fisting porn.
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...AquaFox... |
12-29-2010, 01:52 PM | #51 (permalink) | |
Crazy
Location: Indiana
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Quote:
But because my mom has anything but a normal sex life, I'd then probably call one of the friends and discuss it with her. I mean, if the guy is acting that unabashedly unapologetic about it, I wouldn't feel that guilty about not keeping his secret. If something hurts my feelings, I expect them to be at least acknowledged and discussed. If that doesn't happen, I'm going to be out searching for answers. From my mom, my friends, and then back to the boyfriend. Alright, back to the topic at hand--Masturbation. I masturbate a whole lot more than what it seems that most women masturbate. I watch couples, typically--like on youporn with the amateurs and all that. I like watching *real* people. But sometimes I like perusing facebook and looking through pics of people. Everything from people I wanted to date in high school but didn't to ex boyfriends to my boyfriend's friends. Disclaimer: I also cheated on my boyfriend with one of his friends. My point here is that it could be harmless and it could not be. In my case, my normal masturbation habits have me looking at lots of different people at different times, of pics when they're in sexual situations and when they're not. Both personal and impersonal. And I also cheated. The potential is there for it to happen. In my case, I was searching out emotional reassurance from the friend because I moved to a city where I don't know anyone. We happened to find ourselves alone in an incredibly romantic situation. I had already "primed" myself thinking about his friend in sexual situations and masturbating a couple of times looking at his profile and that made it all the more likely for it to happen. Your boyfriend is also primed, conditioned, etc, to get off to your friends and roommate. It's a little concerning, especially given that these were saved files at one time, which could constitute multiple occasions of such conditioning. There's a potential there for him to be more vulnerable to them if a sexual situation ever does spontaneously arise, where he might not have been conditioned that way before he masturbated to pictures of them. Ultimately, he'll need to explain the significance of it to you. I guess just keep in mind that the potential is there for him to cheat, but don't worry about it too much. He was honest, and that is key. That is a very important thing, in fact, because it shows that he values that more than saving face, which, like Plan9 said--shows he's got some big balls there. You know what to expect from him, and he wants you to know what to expect. You can work with that, you just need to ask some questions. |
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12-29-2010, 02:10 PM | #52 (permalink) |
Still Free
Location: comfortably perched at the top of the bell curve!
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Well, I think it is all covered and I'm just here to vote, so here they are.
1) Uncool to look at the contents of his computer. 2) I do think it is weird, his choice of using pictures of your friends. It just cuts too close to reality for me. This thread reminds me of the Friends episode with the "List of five".
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Gives a man a halo, does mead. "Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly." |
12-29-2010, 05:29 PM | #53 (permalink) | |
has all her shots.
Location: Florida
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Quote:
__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce |
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12-30-2010, 11:27 AM | #54 (permalink) |
Still Free
Location: comfortably perched at the top of the bell curve!
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I guess the disconnect I am having here is the role the "recycle bin" is playing in all of this. So, you emailed and then deleted your document, and then went through the trouble of emptying the recycle bin - implying you wanted to eliminate all remnants of the doc on his PC. Personally, this is confusing behavior to me, but I will accept it for what it is. In doing so, you reviewed the contents of his recycle bin and found these questionable images. You asked him to "delete" these images (which would basically be clicking "Empty Recycle Bin..." and he refused. So, this implies he "stores" those images on his PC in the recycle bin - a place that is the least reliable place to store files on a PC since they are not guaranteed by the OS to be preserved there forever. It seems strange that one would store files that are so important in a place that is so volatile. So, in order to accept your story, I must accept that his and your normal PC behavior fall far outside of the norm for PC use. I guess that is my trouble with the story and why I question whether you were actually snooping or not.
Had the pictures not been discovered, you would be blissfully unaware that his spank bank has image deposits of your friends in it. I'd probably drop it and return back to the happy place where you ignorantly thought he was perfect.
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Gives a man a halo, does mead. "Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly." Last edited by Cimarron29414; 12-30-2010 at 11:30 AM.. |
01-02-2011, 09:22 PM | #56 (permalink) | |||
I Confess a Shiver
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Quote:
... Quote:
I don't buy it. Don't justify your infidelity by pulling the Pavlov card. You're supposed to be an adult, not a toddler raiding a cookie jar. You wanted to bang somebody, so you friggin' banged somebody. Don't blame it on something trivial like your masturbation habits. A lot of people can separate those impulses. Fantasy and reality. I've been doing it for years. Don't put the genitals on a pedestal. "It wasn't me, it was the masturbation! I couldn't help myself." Get the fuck out. Take some responsibility for your fuck-ups. ... Quote:
Turns out it applies to everybody, myself included. If you wanna discuss the finer points of how discussion forums work, we can do it through PM. Last edited by Plan9; 01-03-2011 at 12:33 AM.. |
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01-03-2011, 03:10 PM | #58 (permalink) |
Upright
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MayBe it's just me...
...but it seems to me that while spankin' to random hot chicks is awesome, or for a woman, to rub one out to some TV dude is great, it has always been just a little bit "more rewarding" for me to think about an aquaitance of mine or my girlfriend or wife while I am working out my kinks. Never have I really strayed, never at all while married, but to use the thought and memories of a person that I know and have met really turns up the wick for me during a so flight. My wife understands this and even takes pictures at events or at work of woman who she knows turns me on. She is very secure in our relationship and she sorta gets off on me getting off on her friends. On more than one occasion she has said for me to do her like I would like to do so and so.
That being said, I know that I am extremely lucky for this to be the case, and if she were not secure in my using thoughts of people that we know to crank out some cream, then that would be a problem that we would need to work out between us. If there are hard feelings about the boyfriends practices, then he should be mature enough to come to some solution that suits the girlfriend. She likewise needs to be mature enough to work things out as well, even if that means he gets selected shots to work with on occasion, or something like that. |
01-09-2011, 09:37 AM | #59 (permalink) | ||
Addict
Location: WA
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Quote:
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01-09-2011, 10:26 AM | #60 (permalink) |
Upright
Location: the fucking commonwealth!
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no matter what anyone says, you have to take this into account for yourself. opinions are like assholes.
heres my take... i wouldnt even put up with it. id tell him to fuck off, or wonder whats up with your roommate. at least he isnt jerking off to pics of nazi girls (i had a boyfriend who did this. needless to say it didnt last.)
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nobody beats me in my backyard |
01-09-2011, 02:26 PM | #62 (permalink) |
Upright
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Yeah, I think there comes a time in every girl's life when she realizes something.
All guys masturbate. A lot. To pictures of attractive girls that are not you. This is totally normal. If it bothers you then you should probably end this and wait a while to be in a relationship again. Yeah, it was your roommate, and yeah, that's a little weird but I need more info to draw a conclusion from that. After all, he deleted the photos right and he told you why he had them? He wants you to trust him and accept the above facts, that is why he won't compromise. Last edited by Lendari; 01-09-2011 at 02:29 PM.. |
01-09-2011, 05:07 PM | #63 (permalink) | ||
Crazy
Location: Indiana
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Quote:
OP asks her boyfriend for his computer because her computer isn't working. He goes through and quickly deletes any incriminating pics, forgets that they went to (or thinks that they're safe in) the recycle bin, then hands it to her OP uses the computer, then decides she wants to be super awesome and not clutter his hard drive with her docs so she deletes them and attempts to empty the recycle bin, finding "questionable" pics Quote:
The reason I did this was to indicate that sometimes looking at pics of real people while masturbating is an indication of an intent to cheat, and sometimes it isn't. People can have different levels of self control. I suspect that conditioning one's self to get off to certain real people could impact how one feels around those people when faced with real interaction. One can choose to ignore or not ignore the impulses that such conditioning may influence. I have at different points in my life exercised restraint--and conversely, have at different points had terrible self control. If it came across that I was somehow trying to evade accepting responsibility for what happened, then I was inaccurately reflecting how I really feel about the situation. |
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01-10-2011, 06:55 PM | #64 (permalink) |
Crazy
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I read this thread and the "Addicted to masturbation" thread and I find a commonality in that it seems all guys (at least those who posted in the two threads) seem to masturbate solo frequently. While my wife and I play frequently with it together, neither of us masturbates alone. It just seems a waste.
Is that so unusual? Are we rare in that respect? Should this be a separate thread? Sorry for the hijack, if it should. |
Tags |
advice, boyfriend, friends, masturbates, pictures, roommate |
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