World's King

I'm pretty sure that once something is openly discussed and widely accepted it stops being kinky.


The bikini used to be kinky. Fuck, just showing your legs used to be kinky.


Now we have to go all the way to licking someone's ass and duct taping someone to the bed for it to considered kinky. And that's just cause we have a wide range of fucked up people here. To some a blow job is pretty out there. And to me it's something I do just before breakfast and just after my first cup of coffee.


If you're looking a for a huge group of people that are gonna agree with you on everything you like to do during sex than you're in the wrong place. We are a place for diversity. And I like it. I'm free to talk about how much I enjoy coming on my girlfriend toes. And I hope that by me being free, someone that doesn't feel as free tries to be a little more open.

And if you have nice feet I'd like to talk to you.

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Jozrael

Well, strictly speaking, what's wrong with incest? It's not my kink, but if it's with two mature adults, why not? Or, are you talking about the possible children?

Charlatan

King is bang on the money.

The understanding of what is kinky and what isn't has definitely shifted over the years. I believe the Internet has accelerated this sifting. Our ability to find images of kinky things and out ability to discuss them anonymously with other like-minded individuals lowers the taboo level to a point where you are willing to take your kink out for a test drive.

It makes me wonder what will be considered vanilla and what will be considered kinky in 10 or 20 years.

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shesus

KINKY: marked by unconventional sexual preferences or behavior, as fetishism, sadomasochism, or the like.

UNCONVENTIONAL: out of the ordinary

SADOMASOCHISM: interaction, esp. sexual activity, in which one person enjoys inflicting physical or mental suffering on another person, who derives pleasure from experiencing pain.

FETISHISM: the compulsive use of some object, or part of the body, as a stimulus in the course of attaining sexual gratification, as a shoe, a lock of hair, or underclothes.

I think the problem in this discussion of 'what is kinky?' is coming out of the unconventional part. We know what the other things are. They are very straight-forward. Unconventional is the subjective part of the definition.

Underclothes can be considered kinky, only if they are unconventional for you. Example: I cannot afford to buy corsets because I would have to get them specially made based on my measurements. For me to wear one, would be 'out of the ordinary' in the bedroom and therefore is considered kinky. However, some people own a ton of corsets and therefore, they are about as kinky as a bra and panties. This is why the various stockings thread are getting people going right now. It's out of the ordinary to see on the board combined with the fact that it oozes sexiness and unlaying fetish tones. However, when mentioned people don't think 'oo kinky' because sex is not mentioned explicitly.

I'm just using this as a way to support the fact that TFP is kinky to some people. However, to others the topics mentioned here are ordinary so therefore not seen as kinky. This combined with the fact that many people have stated they aren't the 'kiss and tell' type is the reason why TFP may not be seen as kinky to some as it is to others.

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streak_56

I don't think I've ever cared what people think about my kinkiness and my sex life, even my friends say that I take it took far sometimes when it's really on the button for me. I hang it all out there so that I don't mislead people as to whom I really am.

mixedmedia

Wow, I just sat here and read through this entire discussion. Interesting.

I tend toward the consensus that one shouldn't rely on labels to define themselves sexually and just do what feels good to you (all the "beyond the pale" stuff - which is to me, children and animals - notwithstanding). Besides, I tend to believe that all of us have at least a little kink in us...even if it only gets indulged in fantasy. Even fundamentalist Christians, I'll wager. I think I've already established that I am pretty steadfastly anti-label, lol.

As for talking about sex on tfp, I think I've done my share. I talk about my current relationship and things that we do, but I don't think I'd be comfortable relaying a blow by blow re-enactment of our time together. Other than that though, I'm completely comfortable talking about things I like and things I've done...or, have been done to me. Although it wouldn't be in my nature to start threads simply to talk about my own sex life.

and just as an aside...

abaya, you can purchase nipple clamps that are adjustable and allow you to ease into it. S'nice.

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777

Well, you guys have definately opened my eyes to several things I'd like to try, as well as shocked me. But better to be shocked in private than IRL And I have never heard of knives or blood play 'til coming here. I'd hate to clean up after that

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Sharon

I'd just like to chime in as someone who perhaps isn't as established here as some of you. There have been a couple of times, such as fantasy threads etc, where people have shared things, and gotten responses such as "wow" or had people comment on it, and when I post my own far out fantasy or experience it's as if people passed it by or chose not to comment on it.

Now I know I shouldn't take things personally and generally don't. Hell I don't comment on everything I read.

But if I am completely honest with myself, whenever I reveal a part of me that I wouldn't necessarily share with the outside world, I watch to see if I get a reaction from it. And if I don't, or if the reaction isn't what I wanted then it influences my future posts.

• Am I insecure? For sure.
• Is it stupid? Kinda!
• Is it rational? Not really.
• Why does it happen? I'm only human.

Anyway - it's one of the reasons I've chosen not to reveal too much about myself on the forum. I love and appreciate the way many people are able to be so open about many aspects of their lives, but I revel in the fact that while I am here, nobody knows who I am, so I can truly be myself in the areas I choose.

777

Couldn't have said it better myself

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"I don't know that I ever wanted greatness, on its own. It seems rather like wanting to be an engineer, rather than wanting to design something - or wanting to be a writer, rather than wanting to write. It should be a by-product, not a thing in itself. Otherwise, it's just an ego trip."

Roger Zelazny

Valentina

^Yeah, I'll agree. I've gotten a much warmer response to my kinky lil self over on stripperweb....

ShaniFaye

dont feel bad Sharon....no one commented on mine either hehehe

I just keep going on saying whatever is on my mind

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abaya

And I think that's just what makes you a great member of TFP. One of my favorites, at least.

Sharon, I know what you are saying about "watching for a reaction." Maybe I shouldn't care what people say (or not say) about something extreme... but dammit, if I post something, I want a response in some form or another. But then sometimes I wish I was more of an anonymous lurker, and could just come out of the blue and say something hella out there and random... and no one would know who I was, nor would they care. That's when I almost regret being *too* active on TFP... because then I can't be as honest when I want to be.

But then again, what is a community if people aren't bold and up front and honest with their lives? Especially an online community. Why NOT go balls-to-the-wall and just talk about crazy-ass shit? I want to do it. I am getting there. These threads have been a great encouragement, so far. And I don't think I'm the only one feeling that way.

/checking out stripperweb... thanks Valentina

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Sharon

Just to be clear, I'm not trying to say people should feel bad or anything. I myself don't feel particularly bad about it, I was just trying to answer abaya's question, which by the way I thought was a great one.

Valentina

Hehe. It's a great site. A few caveats there, though: First, I have credibility over there because I was a dancer for so long. I'm not sure if you are male or female....Males are certainly always welcome there if they are interested in strippers & the stripclub scene and express their interest in respectful fashion.

Women who are not in the industry are sometimes given a bit of a hard time initially, particularly if they come across as judgmental or clueless. That said, there are quite a few regular female posters who have never been strippers but really enjoy the site and are treated with affection by the other members.

There are two "sides" to the site--Stripperweb (aka "the pink side") and Stripclub Junkie Forum (aka "the blue side.") As you can guess, the pink side is more geared toward the dancers, while the blue side is more geared toward the patrons.

As you might also guess, the blue side tends to be a little raunchier....but one of the reasons I like it so much is that there are some incredibly smart people--male and female--who post over there. The discussions tend to veer between hardcore raunch and high-minded intellectual debate. It's great fun. That is where I have met the best response to my kinkiness--and not just from the guys, either. The women who post regularly on blue tend to be particularly smart and open-minded.

But even on the pink side, there's plenty of kink. If you're female, you can check out the Ladies Only section, which is where a lot of sex-related threads end up...and some kinkiness happens in The Lounge as well...

Lurk for awhile and see what you think...I love it, but I actually have to stay away during school semesters because it's so damn addictive.

Oh, you get to "the blue side" by clicking on the "Stripclub Junkie Forum" link toward the bottom of the "Forum Home" page...

Good luck!

Sharon

I almost forgot about StripperWeb, I registered ages ago, read quite a lot and then didn't go back. I remember thinking my brief experience in stripping was quite different. I might go back and start posting actually just to get a feel for the community there.

Valentina

^Interesting, Sharon. Where/when did you dance, if you don't mind my asking? (You can answer by PM if you prefer.)

Sharon

I don't mind you asking, I'll just be slightly vague - it was for two months in Europe. I was 18, on a backpacking holiday and completely broke... not the best experience of my life.

Valentina

Ohhh, okay. The only place I've danced outside the U.S. is Japan, and that wasn't really the greatest experience of my life either (though I loved dancing in the States). It's hard when you're in an unfamiliar culture, though, because you already feel kind of vulnerable.

Also, I don't know how long ago you were 18, but the business has changed alot in just the last few years, never mind the last 20. (I started in the late 80's myself, and it was a completely different business back then.)

So yes, I can see how your experience would be different. Most of the girls on SW are from U.S. or Canada, though there are a number of regular posters from the U.K. and Australia as well. Not so many from other parts of the E.U. And most of them are currently dancers, though there a quite a few retired old vets like myself...

k, I'll shut up now. Sorry for the threadjack.

Sharon

Well let's just say that where I was, there was NO such thing as a no-touching rule. Touching was allowed, accepted, encouraged even. Fingers and hands were allowed. Things got worse if the owner's friends came into the club, because if you got called into the VIP room by the boss (which I often was, as the young, polite, soft-spoken English girl), firstly you didn't necessarily get tipped, and secondly you were expected to allow yourself to be pawed, fingered, embraced, kissed, etc sometimes by several dirty men. And to pretend you enjoyed it. Once I was even asked by my boss to pretend I was a younger girl for a few of his friends. I never had sex in the club but it was pretty close to the line.

Ok, sorry again for the threadjack... but to bring it back slightly onto topic, this is the kind of thing I'm not always completely comfortable sharing with anyone (including TFP), and my corresponding obsession with sexual situations with dirty strangers.

Valentina

Well, I thank you for sharing it; it makes me feel more at home. I completely get what you're saying about the obsession with sexual situations with dirty strangers. (nicely put.) But I think that's always been a part of my fantasy life, since long before I ever started dancing....And I will admit that dancing, especially in lapdance clubs, was sort of a safe way to explore that dirty little fantasy....

When I first started dancing (still a teenager myself), there were pretty strict no-touching rules; it was pretty much all stage dancing. But that changed a lot over the years, and I ended up working in some pretty high-mileage, high-contact clubs (including the one in Japan.) I had mixed feelings about this, and I sometimes found it really hot, to be perfectly honest. Other times it was intrusive and a little hard to bear.

Hopefully this is all kinky enough that I'm not going too far off topic....

Sweetpea

excellently stated WK.

As for me, I think everyone could add to the kinkyness factor here in sexuality if they wanted to. I have come to believe that the things people *talk* about the things they *actually* do are very different in our mainstream culture. Aka I have known many people who would appear completely vanilla by anyone's standards, but behind closed doors enjoy some pretty interesting very non-mainstream things together.

I do many things sexually with my husband that I would not feel comfortable sharing, perhaps it's because I have a former lover on TFP who is now just a friend or because I think certain things might change how people see me. But mostly it's because I just don't feel like it *shrug*

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Toaster126

Pretty much everyone is like that. If we didn't want others to see and comment on what we said, we wouldn't put it on a forum. I would just say that there are a ton of people that will read what you say on the internet, but you most likely will not know how it effected them. Just think of how many people are too shy/lazy/whatever to comment or pm after something you say speaks to them... then you can truely appreciate the comments and pms that you do get.

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