genuinegirly

First off - I have to say that you are a kind, concerned, sensitive man. This is so good to see. So few men show such concern and interest in their wives. you really love her, and seem willing to go to great lengths to keep her! I mean, really, you read women's magazines when they're handy, to try and understand how her mind works - this is a sign of true love/

It's so incredibly cute to me that you connected a change in diet with a possible affair. It's good that you brought your irrational thought here to a forum to hash out. You saw it as irrational - which is good, but you wanted to run it by someone. Awesome. It gave most of us a laugh or two, and provided a fun and silly way to relate to you. Sometimes the illogical side just wins out, and we need others to run it by to be sure we're not insane. Everyone has been there.

Oh, it's good to hear that the two of you have chatted. Sounds like you two have a healthy communication style.

About the potential hair change - Maybe she has just been watching some fun makeover TV shows, and she feels like she wants a little minor change. Women do this sort of thing a lot.

I'm glad that she warned you before she changed her hair color and hair length. Otherwise you might have been freaked out and worried that things were over for good! Now you know that it's nothing to be worried over.

Bac O' Bits are delicious. I love them on my salads! Boca Burgers are nummy, too. They do tend to be "Chick food" though, just make sure you get what you like, too.

I'm sure she's going through a period of minor - Fun! - changes. I think you'll have a lot of fun with it, too. Just make sure that you keep talking. And remember to tell her that you loved her the way she was before, the way she is now, and that you will always love her no matter what. There's nothing quite so reassuring.

Oh, you are so cute!

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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

abaya

I'm glad you are communicating. However, I have to ask you to take yourself out of the situation for a second. Perhaps she is changing not because of you, but because of herself and what she wants? Maybe she simply wants to try on a new look and way of living, and it has nothing to do with you whatsoever.

You might like her "the way she is," but maybe she's tired of the way she is... and that should really be okay with you. It can be pretty constraining on a person if she's been "the way she is" for 10+ years... especially if it's just because you like it, and she's in the mood for a change. I apologize if I sound harsh, but I'm just saying that she's an individual and has a right to change certain things (especially tiny things, like her hair or salad condiments).

Embrace change, man! It puts hair on your chest (if you don't already have some).

And keep talking.

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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

maleficent

You like her the way that she is right now and that's sweet... I'm sure a lot of people would be thrilled to hear that because it means you don't want to change them... but if the do make a change will you still like her? Maybe you'll like the new and improved version... if she makes a change it's something she's doing for her.. it might be a midlife thing - it might be she's bored with her current look - it might be that she just wants something different... (they wouldn't have hair colors in 1000s of shades if they didn't expect people to use them

Change isn't always bad.. (though fake bacon is bad... always..)

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snowy

This is exactly what I tell my SO. It's my damn hair. I'll dye it a brighter shade of red if I want to. He's generally okay with it.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Clark

I have been married 6 years. Every now and then my wife comes home with her hair cut a new way. Or lets me know that we are changing the kinds of meals we eat at home for the heather. She also get new shoes nwo and agian. Makes me move the furncher and has even wanted a room repainted. None of this meens anything other then she wants things a little difrent.

On things that have a direct effect on me I ask for veto power but other then that she is her own person.

Enjoy your wife I hope after 10 years she wants a little change.

Clark

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Dyslexic please excuse the spelling.

Cynthetiq

I'd just ask that the carpet match the drapes in some fashion

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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Redlemon

Hardwood flooring solves that issue.

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

snowy

Drapes? What drapes?

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

madp

It is painfully obvious that she is having an affair, and it is most likely a former college softball player with very short hair who drives a mini-SUV. You'll need to hack into the DMV computer system in your state and get a printout of everyone with a registered Honda RAV. Start at the nail salon, and begin a circular, sweeping search pattern of all the names and addresses on your list. Approach these individuals discretely, asking for directions to the local library, Home Depot, or brothel, something that won't elicit vigilance. The first one you encounter with tofu breath and buffed nails is your nemesis, and must be destroyed.

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why are you wearing that stupid man suit?

analog

A lot of women go through the "oh my god my beauty is fading and i'm not as thin as I used to be" phase- and so do some men. Try reassuring her how attractive she is, remind her that cutting her hair or changing its style, or eating fake burgers won't make a difference, because she's already beautiful, sexy, whatever you want to say. A lot of this may just be her thinking she's losing attractiveness, feeling old, that sort of thing.

The "i'm getting old" process for men is usually much more profound, and potentially ridiculous... so be grateful, for the moment, that it's her and not you. lol

Poppinjay

My wife died her hair a bright red two years ago. I don't know if she did it to get laid, but she certainly did get laid. So did I.

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I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

cookmo

Is it possible that she was trying to get your attention? You said that she took a cheap shot at you, asking if you were going to become more observant. Maybe after 10 years you aren't "noticing" things anymore. Sometimes negative attention is better than no attention at all.

After bieng together so long she should know how you like a womans hair, and if she is suggesting changing it to something totally different, she might be trying to see if you still care.

Hardknock

Are you serious or are you bullshittin'?

aceventura3

I was born in Arkansas (Pork Capital of the world) and mostly raised in the Chicago area (Beef center of the world). My grandmother lived on a farm, when my brother and I would visit my grandmother during simmer vacations as kids, she would butcher one of her hogs. Every morning we would go to the hen house get some eggs and have the best breakfast in the world. She smoked her own bacon, sliced it thick, and cooked it to perfection. Think about it - The smell, the fresh eggs, thick cut home smoked bacon, grits, waffles, fresh ice cold milk, every morning before going out and acting out the adventures of Huck Finn. Needless to say I have never had food as good as I had during those times - but to go from perfectly cooked thick cut home smoked bacon to "Bac-Os Bits"!?! And you think I'm kidding???

Oh-and my wife, she was born in Wisconsin, the cheese and dairy capital of the world (beer also). In-spite of the fact her dad is a Green Bay Packer fan, we have been really happily married while eating real meat, real cheese, real eggs, and using real sugar. I am 46 - I can bench 360 and run a sub-8 minute mile, I am big but not fat.

Perhaps you don't see the change significant, but I do. I am not saying I can't accept the change and I have admitted overreacting, but I bet if you shared something important about your life - I would wonder if you were serious.

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"Democracy is two wolves and a sheep voting on lunch."
"It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions on vegetarianism while the wolf is of a different opinion."
"If you live among wolves you have to act like one."
"A lady screams at the mouse but smiles at the wolf. A gentleman is a wolf who sends flowers."

Poppinjay

And now, according to your location, you live in Ventura County, one of the most crunchy areas of the nation. Vegetarianism is in vogue there. There's even a group there called "Vegetarians In Paradise".

I grew up on southern cuisine, where the cycle of life consists of: bug eats vegetation, fish eats bug, lard eats fish, human eats lard. There comes a time for change. In this case, change is good.

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I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

aceventura3

Let's say you get used to having sex with a real woman, then someone told you that having sex with a imitation woman was good for your health, makes you live longer or something like that-would you still say "change is good"?

I wouldn't.

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"Democracy is two wolves and a sheep voting on lunch."
"It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions on vegetarianism while the wolf is of a different opinion."
"If you live among wolves you have to act like one."
"A lady screams at the mouse but smiles at the wolf. A gentleman is a wolf who sends flowers."

AlCap0wn

Fucking hilarious. Sigged.

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aceventura3

Thanks, that is a good point. I was looking at the negative side of the comment.

In spite of a few people making fun of me, this has been was helpful overall. Thanks.

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"Democracy is two wolves and a sheep voting on lunch."
"It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions on vegetarianism while the wolf is of a different opinion."
"If you live among wolves you have to act like one."
"A lady screams at the mouse but smiles at the wolf. A gentleman is a wolf who sends flowers."

Poppinjay

But... This isn't sex we're talking about (or is it?).

Sex with a woman is not fatty, does not clog your arteries no matter how much you eat, and actually is aerobic if you do it right.

A proper analogy would be, you get used to having sex with a crack ho (ie: bad for your health), then someone tells you that having sex in a monogamous relationship makes you live longer.

Listen Ace, my wife has been changing my diet since day one, and I love and appreciate her for it. We come from meat eating, deep frying ground but I'm more than willing to eat a carrot or two to make things click.

Bac-o-bits are fine, you didn't even notice the difference until you looked at the ingredients.

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I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

Acetylene

WHOA WHOA WHOA The fact that your wife purchased baco bits for HER salad and boca burgers because SHE liked them is in NO WAY your business. And then to say you're glad she asked you before changing her hair because you don't want her to? How controlling IS this relationship?!

Listen, if she wants to make healthy changes for HER body then you ought to support her 100% and more. It is YOUR JOB as her husband to care for her and support her just as she does for you. And frankly, walking for half an hour will do jack shit for your weight if you aren't changing your eating habits. When people get older, their metabolisms slow down and usually they need to re-examine their eating habits. You should be proud of her for trying to do so.

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There's no justice. There's just us.

Jinn

There's just something about page 2 that makes everyone want to re-ask the same questions and re-say all the same statements that were beaten to death on the first page. I'll never understand it.

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"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

Ustwo

Ace this is classic

Its good to see something besides woes on the sex board

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Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

fightnight

Wait.... did you shave your head? Shouldn't it be carpet? what carpet?

hehe

aceventura3

Have you ever really watched a woman eat "real" chocalote icecream, perhaps with hot fudge? They tend to eat it slowly cherishing the flavor in each and every bite. You can see the pleasure in their eyes and in their expression. It certainly seems like she is having a sexual experience to me.

Here is what I want you to do this Saturday:

1. Send the kids to grandmom's for a sleep over.
2. Dress nice, take your wife to the best steakhouse in your area - One with real table cloths, real glasses, real silverware, one with real dark deep colored walls, dimly lit with real candles.
3. Order a filet mignon (wrapped in bacon if you feel risky), baked potato, and a nice glass of wine. talk about anything accept work, kids, family and sports.
4. If your wife is like mine, she won't order dessert. You take the initiative. Order- real icecream over a chocolate brownie, covered with hot fudge, whipped cream, with one of those red cherries on top. Ask for two spoons.
5. Make sure the dessert is in the middle of the table, and offer to share. She will play coy at first and decline the offer. You proceed to eat. Start talking about something that doesn't require much focus on her part, then insist that she take a bite. Then - sit back, relax and enjoy. She will probably only eat two or three spoon fulls. But it will be worth it. (This won't work with with the stuff they call "icecream" at Dairy Queen. Let her eat the cherry, make sure it has a stem.
6. Take a casual walk after dinner. Enjoy the stars, cool evening air, etc.
7. Go home and make love into the early morning hours.

That - is what "real" is all about, its about relaxing, enjoying the moment, pleasure leading to more pleasure. You don't have to eat 2 pounds of meat, or a tub of icecream, a few Saturday nights like that certainly is not bad for your health.

What would your "rabbit" food equivalent be?

__________________
"Democracy is two wolves and a sheep voting on lunch."
"It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions on vegetarianism while the wolf is of a different opinion."
"If you live among wolves you have to act like one."
"A lady screams at the mouse but smiles at the wolf. A gentleman is a wolf who sends flowers."

Acetylene

But I REALLY REALLY LIKE boca burgers, and I really don't like meat. Also sugar makes me sleepy and if I ate an ice cream brownie I would have to go home and go to bed. I can't enjoy it beause I know it will make me sick. So I prefer the sugar-free ice cream not because I want to lose weight (I don't!) but because it is far more pleasurable for me.

I think if your lady wanted to try boca burgers because she tried one and liked it, then more power to her! Why is a boca burger less "real" than a beef one? It is made of real soy, real corn, real herbs, and it is real delicious.

But this isn't about "real" food or "fake" food. If you prefer beef over soy, then that's fine; if you prefer bac-os to the actual bacon bits (as my whole family does!) then that's fine too.

The objections people are having are with your reactions to her gustatory experimentation; I myself am also questioning your reaction to her desire to improve her weight and change her hair. I think there are boundary issues going on; it's not fair that your wife can't feel free to try new foods or new hairstyles without fear of anger and false accusations of adultery.

I seriously thought this thread was a joke at first, but now I'm honestly concerned for what kind of life a woman would lead when coming home with a box of tofu would get her this kind of flack.

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There's no justice. There's just us.

Acetylene

I'm still not sure this isn't an increasingly elaborate joke. The more I read the first post the more confused I get. I think I'm done with this thread before I make myself look any more of a fool by taking this absurdity seriously.

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There's no justice. There's just us.

kutulu

I'm sure she thought what you said was a cheap shot. I'd be a bit pissed if my wife came out and asked me if I was having an affair because I'm eating a couple of different things.

rsl12

I'm with you, waiting on the sidelines for the denouement.

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oh baby oh baby, i like gravy.

cookmo

All right, come on...leave aceventura3 alone.

If he would have posted the other way, and he was the veggie and his wife was bringing in the forsaken vile meat you wuold have cried out....Oh No!!! Quick!!!.. Bring in the hippies..Hurry, we need granola and favre beans STAT!!! Don't Forget The Green Tea enema!!!!!

Its all about perception, don't poke fun because he see's things differently.

rsl12

With all due respect to ace, I don't mean to make fun of you--If it's a joke, I want to laugh with you. If it's not a joke, then you have my complete sympathy. But I'm completely confused what the situation is, and whether the appropriate response is to laugh or console.

cookmo says it would be more seriously taken if it had been the other way around. I disagree. To wit:

----

My wife bought something called "Bacon". I pretty much love bagels, she knows it, and I thought "Bacon" was some kind of bagel confection, maybe a filling. I toasted some in a skillet and ate a slice before I realized that "Bacon" tastes like meat!

I read the label, they are some kind of pig product. There was nothing close to flour or wheat product listed on the ingredients list. We have been married for over 10 years and I have never, absolutly never gave my wife any indication that I was dissatisfied with bagels, now she's buying "Bacon".

I looked through the rest of the refrigerator and I saw something called "Breakfast Sausage". this was odd, as we never had "sausage" with breakfast before. I read the package and again-meat. Why would anyone want breakfast with meat?

I think she is having an affair.

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oh baby oh baby, i like gravy.

Johnny Rotten

Man, you really like bacon.

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"The idea that money doesn't buy you happiness is a lie put about by the rich, to stop the poor from killing them." -- Michael Caine

skier

While i believed that this was a joke thread at first, i'd like to make a serious response based on the assumption that the original post was legit.

Why are you so concerned with your wife (and perhaps yourself) changing? Change itself is neither good nor evil. Usually it is interesting and refreshing, but perhaps a little scary at first. That you wish your wife to stagnate, to stay the same over many years, is what disturbs me most about your post. The leaps of logic to an affair i can comprehend, even emphasize about. The underlying assumption that you don't want your wife to change i just don't understand, and I can't think of any personal experiences that could correspond to this belief. Perhaps you could clarify?

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"Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim

analog

Jesus man, I nearly died laughing when I read this.