Bossnass

It was about 2:30 this morning. I was leaving a club with my fiancee and one of her girlfriends, walking the 100 feet from the doors to the waiting taxi. All three of us were somewhat drunk but certainly not out of control.

We are intercepted by some random guy (assumed to be drunk or high). He makes some crude remark about a 'two-fer-one special on ho's tonight'. I reply with a pretty standard 'fuck off'. He places himself between us and the taxi, so we change our path to walk around him.

At that point, he reaches out and pulls down the front of our friend's top, saying 'let me get a better look at those sweetass titties'.

I shove him away with (less than) appropriate force. Enough to move him out of the way not enough to send him sprawling into the street. I tell the girls to get into the taxi and try to do the same.

The guy comes back and starts doing the whole 'step up routine'. You know: hands out to the side, pushing his chest out, getting in close, in my face. "whatchoo gonna do tough guy? c'mon, whatchoo gonna do!?"

At this point I should note that, for my little northern city, we have had an alarming number of stabbings and shootings at bars and clubs recently. Three or four or five, but that is three or four or five more then the last couple years. While this fact occurred to me at some point, it didn't occur in a timely manner when I was standing on the sidewalk outside of a nightclub with impending violence.

Fueled with drunken chivalry and what seemed like righteous anger, I obliged him. I swung my elbow -since he was too close for a punch- into his face.

Hard. '210+ lbs with (slightly) gorilla-like physique leverage' in a partly upwards arc hard. A 'few years of martial arts training' (years ago) hard. A 'bruised-my elbow black through a leather jacket' hard. Somewhat harder then I ever thought I could and way harder then I ever planned on hitting someone hard.

For half a second, I was triumphant. Then I realized that 'satisfying' meaty crack was actually 'sickening'. Then I realized that if he got up he could have a knife or a gun. Then I realized that I was probably looking at assault charges and everything associated therein. Then I was pulled off my feet.

Well, it was more lifted off my feet. The bouncers from the club had reached us. One had a death grip on each of my biceps. They were half carrying-half dragging me, backwards. At the time, I didn't realize it was them. I suspected I was being taken to the alley to be beat by a group of the interloper's friends. So I gave one a pretty solid headbutt. I imagine it hurt me more then it hurt him. Either way, the back of my head connected with some solid part of him enough for him to loosen his grip. I shook free and then realized what I had done and started apologizing “Oh shit, sorry, I didn't know it was you guys”.

Then he smiled. It scared me. I had no idea what was to happen next.

"Naw, you're alright buddy. We saw it. Just get the fuck out of here and don't come back tonight". They had been taking me the last 20 feet to the cab. They helped me in- albeit a little roughly, but one of them made sure I didn't hit my head on the way in.

The taxi door was closed, the roof slapped, and we were away. The whole incident, I’d guess, took about 30 seconds. The girls had gotten in the car half a second after me. I started to tell the driver my address. He interrupted, in a very helpful, polite, if stereotypical Indian accent. “Oh no sir. Do not be telling me where you are living. Something might have just happened that I do not no anything about. And my friend I do not want to know anything about. So if someone is to be asking me where I took you, all I would be telling them is what corner a couple of blocks away from where you really want to go.” That made enough sense to me. I tipped well.

maleficent

Nice to see that chivalry, even if it's drunken, isn't dead...

Glad you weren't injured...

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alec

nah man, you gotta fight when you gotta fight, who gives a shit, at least you didnt get arrested and came out unscathed

i pushed a solid block of a bouncer at a bar once by mistake thinking he was in an altercation with a friend, i dont think he moved an inch and told me to watch myself. woops.........

Sue

Nice job Boss. If a guy I was with stood up like that, I'd be SO damn proud of him.

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CandleInTheDark

I find that you were completely in the right...

Northern city with lots of stabbings? Winnipeg?

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Cross-Over

I think your actions were appropriate, not even close to being a violent dumbass as your thread title states.

It is fortunate that the bouncers didn’t tag you up after the head butt. Not that it would have been fair of them, but I have known of bouncers literally beating up a guy after a slight opening (person slightly shoved a bouncer).

All in all, great story. Seems like everything went your way

rival

Nice. I know a few (former) bouncers and from what they tell me I can only assume they "helped" the guy who started the trouble in much less gentle way. Those guys love to send a message to assholes who start problems.

MSD

I can only hope that you broke the asshole's nose for sexually assaulting your friend. He deserved nothing less.

Bossnass

Nope. Edmonton. Not lots of stabbings, just more then we easy going Canadians are used to. For 800,000+ I understand we are actually pretty low.


I'm pretty happy that they didn't go after me. I'm also pretty happy that they got me out of there.

The 'violent dumbass' part is because:

• I went from "happy-and-a-little-blitzed' to "malicious intent to hurt" in about 4 seconds.
• I thought I was reformed from my more violent days when I was younger.
• I have personally witnessed accidental manslaughter in a bar fight.
• I know of peole who have had thier lives pretty much ruined because of an assault conviction.
• had I not been dumped in a cab and sped away, I might be in hot water.

A big part of me agrees entirely. But my arm hurts when I try to bend or straighten it. My 'elbow bone' (ulna? radius?), or at least the flesh covering it looks like it was hit by a baseball and is still swollen. If it doesn't get better in another day or two, I'm going to get it checked out. Now, if my hard and boney arm is in this rough of shape, I have to wonder what sort of shape the other guy('s face) might be in. And that makes me feel a little guilty.

The_Dunedan

Dude, he sexually assaulted your friend. At that point, instant and ruthless violence was more than called for. Nobody has a right to violate a woman like that, and anyone who does so deserves whatever he gets. I'd say that your "attacker" got off lightly.

Seanland

Don't let your past come back to haunt you, you did the right thing you protected your friend... you should not regret doing it

SiNai

No, be proud you could stand up to him like you did, and get off practically scotch-free. I'm proud of you.

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Poloboy

Kudos to you, and especially to the bouncers and taxi-driver. I hope that if I ever get into a confrontation outside a bar, I've got a cabbie like that waiting for me.

Don't feel guilty. When you're the one guy out with some girls, you're responsible for their safety. Some idiot infringed on their safety, and EVERYBODY at the scene recognized that. It sounds to me like you've progressed from an overly-violent past (?) to a level where you only act violently when absolutely necessary. Congrats and welll done.

dirtyrascal7

it would've been nice to not have to use violence, but i doubt that guy would've let you get in the cab without giving you a serious hassle... you definitely did the right thing. you didn't let it escalate into a full-blown fight, but you got his attention and shut him up. though it was still probalby better that the bouncers got involved and helped you on your way.

Zeraph

I gotta say I'm neutral on this. If he was that drunk, was such force neccessary? By your own words, was the violent outburst on youre part because you felt you had to protect your friends and wanted revenge? Or would you have done this even if you were by yourself and the guy didn't even do anything but challenge you?

Yes, the guy was in the wrong, but revenge is a petty thing and it sounds like if you just waited 4 more seconds the bouncers would have dealt with it.

Anyways, I lean both ways about this, I'm not saying I would have done any different.

There's something called a flash point in males (maybe females too? I don't know) that once it's triggered we go into a violent rage. How long it lasts, what you do, and what triggers it is all subjective. It's up to everyone to know and acknowledge it though, to gain some controll over it.

Carno

Hell, I would have been glad to get a free shot like that with no repercussions

pocon1

It sounds like you did the right thing. He assaulted one of your friends already. Then when you pushed him away, he came back and got in your face. He escalated the situation, and you had no idea of his threat level. As you said, you have seen people get charged for manslaughter in barfights, well he could have done it to you. For self-defense, at least in America, a potential threat has to be established. He did that. But you don't actually have to be attacked to claim self-defense. If you can make a credible argument, with witnesses that there was a threat of assault then you would be cleared. Plus, you did not know the bouncers were coming. So you felt you had to act. I say consider yourself fortunate that you were able to get out of a potentially dangerous situation.

skier

Sort of sounds like Escape to me. But anyways, I really get pissed off at that sort of guy- get drunk(high), pick a fight. Why can't they leave well enough alone and just have some fun?

I think you were justified in smacking this dude. He was looking for trouble, and he found it. The bouncers have seen it all before, i'm sure- and were probably happy that the shitbag picked on the wrong guy this time.

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Zeraph

Be careful with such advice, it is different for each state.

DJ Happy

Was he satisfied with your response?


I'd love to hear his version of events the next day: "I was walking along asking for donations for the local orphanage when this skin-head ape who was probably drunk and high on crack and PCP clocked me for no reason."

Good on ya!

Strange Famous

It isnt a nice feeling to knock someone spark out like that. I had a few fights when I was at school and stuff, but Im not a very violent person... Ive only ever lost it twice... one time was after some kid in the year above me came after me. His sister beat up my sister, so I threw his sisters school bag out of the window (I wasnt violent to her, I just grabbed her bag off a table and threw it through an open window.) but then he came after me. Unfortunately he was a martial artists and kicked my ass quite badly - to the extent I was left on my ass fighting back tears, then he just made some comment or laughed, I dont even remember now, and I just remember my mood snapped, and all the humiliation and shame just changed, I jumped up, went for him, grabbed him bt the throat and threw him through a fire door in our portable classroom, as he went throught the door I came through it with him, landed on top of him (I was quite hefty even then).. then I grabbed his face in my hand and slammed the back of his head as hard as I could into the ground... and then I froze, and suddenly got really scared... it turned out he broke his arm and three ribs (probably as a result of me landing on him more than anything else)... I didnt get in as much trouble as I might have cos it just got portrayed as horse play that got out of hand. (and he sold drugs, so he didnt have much sympathy amongst a lot of teachers and so on)

The other time I hurt someone I was 20... I was watching a soccer game in a bar, and there were a bunch of skinheads just behind me.... I didnt have any problems with them, but they were yelling racist abuse at a Greek guy at the front, and I was just being a "passerby" but the Greek kid got pissed off and threw a pint glass into the crowd of skinheads... they all rushed at him, trying to get through the people inbetween, and one of them shoved my then girlfriend into a wall.... I didnt think, I just had an instant reaction that I grabbed his shirt, twisted him towards me and hit him as hard as I could. It was hard enough that the glass front of my watch and both of the hands fell off) ... he was a big guy, and he just stood there and stared at me for maybe a second, and I was like "Oh fuck, I just hit this guy as hard as I could and now he's gonna kill me".. but then he slowly slumped backwards and slid into a sitting position, slumped to the side cradling his head. In some sense I feel like he deserved it, but it is a horrible feeling to hit someone that hard. I was 20 when that happened, and like the time when I was 15, I just lost control for a split second and exploded with violence, and in that second I just wanted to destroy.... and when that flash of rage passes, you feel kind of sick, and scared.

I certainly hope I live a long long life and never hit anyone (or get hit!) again!

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for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

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Seer666

All I have to say is, the ass hole had it comeing. You did good. You took him down quick and clean, and got away. Pretty much the two most critical parts of a fight, if you ask me.

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kramus

Good on you fella. We have these reactions for a reason. You were in a situation where it was appropriate to white-out and put the asshole down. You did not set yourself up to be in this, you merely had your instincts and reflexes get you out of it. The cool bouncer dudes and the fine import cabbie (and SO buddies tittieflash ) are as gilding on the lily. I avoid horseplay, confrontation etc etc and have all my life. I know I have a flashpoint and Strange Famous has experienced what I fear. My one concern is that I will not stop. You got everything going good except the bone bruise - and from my own generation-old martial art experience a good bone bruise can last many months. You didn't even scuff your jacket or hurt your hand, man! Good on you.

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shakran

The sexual assault did not warrant violence beyond your pushing him away, which is what you did.

But when he came back threatening you and escallating the violence, I see nothing wrong with responding in kind. I might have gone for a throw myself, but you might not have been able to. Either way, I really can't find anything really wrong with what you did - and I'm one of those martial artists who advocate never fighting unless you have to. I believe in running before fighting, but had you done that you'd have left two women vulnerable to a guy who'd already shown himself to be sexually abusive, so you didn't have that option.

you went from happy to violent that fast because the situation warranted it. Nothing wrong with that.